


Are You Gonna Stay The Night?

by Writers_Dilemma



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 151,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writers_Dilemma/pseuds/Writers_Dilemma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Emma is the one to eat the apple turnover? And what happens when her True Love is revealed to break the Curse? Swan Queen romance!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deadly Bite

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the beginning doesn't feel too rushed. I promise we will get some juicier stuff in the coming chapters! Should have the next one up in a few days! Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma tries to prove her son wrong about Regina's intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are interested, I made a playlist for this story. You can listen to it here: http:// 8tracks. com/writers-dilemma/are-you-gonna-stay-the-night

Emma's heart was breaking at the look of hurt and dismay in her son's eyes. She had just told him that she was going to leave Storybrooke for his own good. All she had ever managed to do was turn everything upside down, and not just for herself.

Henry was the one who more often than not paid the price when it came to Emma's actions in the little hamlet. He was a boy who needed stability, not the rocky edge of the cliff that she always seemed to teeter upon.

Hot tears were spilling down her face as her body was slammed hard by the little boy launching himself against her. His arms wrapped tightly around her middle, and she could feel him positively willing her to change her mind. He needed her to stay. He needed her to see what she was: The Savior. Most importantly, he needed her to stay for him.

The 'deal' she spoke of was not a compromise; it was a prison sentence. She was condemning him to misery under the rule of the Evil Queen. He would never again know the joy he felt when he was sitting across from his mother at Granny's, drinking cinnamon hot chocolate, or whispering to each other late at night through their walkie talkies. He could never be happy without Emma.

Henry clung tightly to the woman he loved so dearly, and feeling her arms wrap around him, hearing the sobs struggling to escape from her chest broke his heart even more. He opened his eyes, trying to search for something that would get her to stay. He didn't know what he would find in Mary Margaret's little kitchen, but the unassuming-looking pastry sitting on the island counter was not one of them.

"Where did you get that?" he inquired cautiously.

"Regina gave it to me."

Henry sniffed it. "Apple!" He looked at her as though expecting her to understand exactly what he did.

"So?" the ever-doubtful sheriff stated.

"You can't eat that! It's poison!" He looked earnestly up at her.

"What?"

"Don't you see? The deal, it was all a trick to get you to eat _that_ , to get rid of the Savior!" He hoped that this would be the last bit of evidence that Emma would need to start believing exactly what he had been trying to get her to far too long.

"Henry, come on. Why would she do that when I just told her I was gonna go?" She was at the end of her emotional rope, and it was getting harder and harder to play along with Henry's fantasy.

"Because as long as you're alive, you're a threat to the Curse!"

"Henry, you've gotta stop thinking like this!"

"But it's the truth!" Henry's frustration was beginning to rival that of his mother's, and this was his final chance to show her once and for all what she needed to see to open her eyes. He would never let her slip away from him. Not now, and not like this. "And you leaving, isn't gonna change that!" His voice grew louder with the intensity of his feelings. "I'll prove it to you!"

He made to snatch for the pastry, but Emma was faster. "No! This is nonsense!" she brandished it at her son. "There is no poison in here!" To her son's utter horror, she sank her teeth through the flaky crust and felt a gush of spicy apple flow into her mouth.

"See! There's no... No..." But her mouth was numb, and her limbs felt heavier than they ever have in her entire life. When she crashed soundly against the wooden floor, Emma felt no jolts of pain that would normally be slicing through her limbs. And then felt cold darkness lording over her entire being.

 

                                                         ~*~

 

"NOOOOO!" Henry screamed, falling next to the Savior's motionless form. "EMMA! Wake up! Emma you have to wake up!" The boy shook her hard, rolling her onto her back. Her limbs lolled around, and no amount of screaming or jostling was going to wake her.

He shot up and ran to the phone, dialing the hospital number that Regina made him memorize in case of an emergency. He half-screamed into the receiver for an ambulance, barely containing his hysteria. The moment they confirmed their departure, he hung up and dialed Mary Margaret's cell phone.

To say that she was alarmed was a massive understatement. The woman could barely understand the shrill pleas coming from the boy, but she knew that it had to do with Emma. She set off at a run, her stomach sinking straight to the bottom of her feet.

When she arrived at her home, an ambulance was outside the building, and EMT's were carting a blonde woman on a gurney into the vehicle. Henry was flitting around, tears streaming down his face, trying to get information out of them.

Mary Margaret stopped cold in her tracks, completely out of her element. When the boy saw his teacher, he flew right into her, wrapping his arms around her. "Ms Blanchard! You're here! Emma's been poisoned!"

Everything in her brain ground to a solid stop. " _What?_ "

"Regina gave her an apple turnover, and I tried to tell Emma that it was poisoned, because the Evil Queen hates her! But she wouldn't listen, and she took a bite to show me it wasn't going to hurt her and then she collapsed! And now-"

"Henry! Stop! Just stop for a moment, and breathe." The words had been flying out of his mouth at a million miles per hour, and the poor brunette was having a near impossible time keeping up. "They're going to take Emma to Doctor Whale, and he will fix her up just fine. Let's go there right now, so you can be with her when you see them cure her!" She put on a pained smile, trying her best to be strong for the child breaking apart in front of her.

He pulled the keys to his mother's bug out of his coat pocket and shoved them into his teacher's hand, determination and urgency blazing in his eyes. She nodded wordlessly to him, and they jumped into the car to follow the retreating sirens of the ambulance.

The moment they pulled up to the facility Henry flung himself out of the car before it even came to a full stop. He sped past the sign-in desks and followed the sounds of the only emergency happening there.

He slammed into the glass door to the room where his mother was being kept. The doctor was shouting orders to the swarm of nurses crowding around Emma, his face showing no confidence. He wrenched open the door.

"Mom! Mom! I'm here!"

"Henry! You can't be in here right now," Whale said, shocked at the boy's sudden appearance.

"She was poisoned, Dr Whale! You have to save her!"

"Poisoned? By what?"

"This!" He pulled the turnover from a bag in his pocket. "She took a bite of this, and then she fell down!"

"Henry, listen to me, you can't be in here right now. I can't tell if it was poison-"

"But it was! You have to listen to me!"

The doctor looked up at Mary Margaret who was now watching from a short distance. He told her with a single look that she needed to remove him from the area. She strode forward and placed gentle hands on his shoulders. She pulled ever so lightly, letting him know he had to move. He began to walk backwards toward the door, never taking his eyes off of his mother.

He watched through the glass as the medical team continued to work feverishly around the blonde. He could hear the muffled sounds of their voices, and occasionally the doctor would catch his eye, always looking defeated.

Eventually they cleared out, Emma still lying as though she were a corpse. Tubes and wires were sticking out from her chest and arms. Dr Whale looked upon her one more time before heading out of the room. He looked from Mary Margaret to Henry with uncertainty.

"Emma is stable, for now. I still don't know what is causing this-"

"I _told_ you, she's poisoned!"

"But," he continued as though he had not been interrupted. "It's difficult to say what is going to happen from here. I don't know how long she will be in this state, but we are going to do everything we can."

Mary Margaret placed her hand on his. "Thank you, Doctor."

"If I were you, I would get some rest. I will notify you if there is any change." He said the last part to Henry in specific.

"Don't tell my mom! Let Ms Blanchard know, and she'll tell me."

He looked skeptical for a moment, but the brunette nodded her consent, and he agreed before sweeping away in a cloud of tension.

"Take me to Regina," Henry said fiercely. "She has to answer for this! I have to hear it for myself!"

"Henry, maybe that's not such a good idea. You're distraught. Let's go for some hot chocolate while you can calm down a little."

"No." There was such finality in that word that Mary Margaret knew better than to fight him on it. She knew he got his stubbornness and defiance from both of his mothers. She ushered him out of the building, but not before he ran back and placed his book of fairy tales next to his mother.

The two of them pulled up next to the mayoral mansion, the brunette looking extremely uncertain. Henry looked at her for a second. "I need you to stay here, Ms Blanchard. I'm not gonna stay there any more. Not after what she did to my mom. So... Just be ready to leave when I come out."

"Henry-" But the look in his eyes stopped whatever she was going to say next. "Okay. I will be right here for you." He gave her a fleeting smile before tearing out of the car and up to the estate.

"What have you done to Emma!" Henry snarled at Regina with controlled ferocity.

"Henry! Oh thank goodness, you're safe! I was so worried about you!" She ran up to her son and tried to embrace him, but he shoved her away.

"Get off me! What did you do to my mom!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Regina posed the question with innocent curiosity.

"You poisoned her! She ate your stupid turnover! Now she's in a coma!"

Regina couldn't fight the small smirk of victory that painted her lips for the briefest of moments. Henry saw it, and the look of disgust and horror on his face told her she just made a massive mistake.

"You really are the Evil Queen, aren't you? Why did you do this?!" Henry screamed with fury.

"She was trying to take you from me! She's no mother, and she couldn't care for you! I'm protecting our family! I'm protecting _you_ as I have always done!"

"No..." His voice was soft, tinged with disbelief. "No! No! You fix it! You bring her back!"

"I can't!" Her temper was flaring rapidly. She was beyond pissed that Henry was still choosing that haphazard mess of a woman over her. After every single thing she had ever done for him, she could not understand how she had failed to earn the love of the son she held so dearly.

"You liar! I never want to see you again!" He turned around a bolted through the house and out the front door. Regina's feet remained rooted to the floor. His words felt like he had ripped her own heart from her chest and squeezed it to dust like she had done so many times before.

A sharp pain shot through her knees when they collided with the hardwood floor beneath them. It was a rare occasion that the Queen found herself crawling on the floor, mewling like an abandoned kitten, whimpering out the name of the boy that fled from her. For the first time in a very, very long time, Regina felt helpless.

 

                                                ~*~

 

"Take me to Mr Gold!" Henry's request left no room for contradiction.

Mary Margaret started up the bug. "What did your mom say? And why do we need Mr Gold?"

"She's not my mom! Emma is, and Regina practically admitted to poisoning her."

"Oh my god," the brunette breathed.

"But she's pretending she doesn't know how to wake Emma up. If there's anyone in Storybrooke who will know how, it's Mr Gold. He's the only one with enough power and knowledge rival Regina!"

Mary Margaret opened her mouth, wanting to try and convince the boy otherwise; however, when she glanced at him, the look of solid determination mingled with anger told her that it was not a good idea. Henry had already suffered so much trauma today, causing him more frustration would do him no good. She closed her mouth again, and they drove to the pawnshop in silence.

Once again, Henry insisted with deadly seriousness that his teacher remain in the car. She really did not feel comfortable leaving him alone with Mr Gold, but the man had never made any move to hurt the boy. She nodded once again, and watched him hurry into the dusty shop.

Henry's eyes scanned the crowded space for the man he needed. The soft tinkling of the doorbell over head caught the attention of the shop's owner. He limped into view, looking mildly confused at the presence of the disheveled boy hurrying toward him.

"Henry. What can I do for you," he asked evenly.

"Regina has poisoned Emma! How do I cure her?" Always straight to the point and brutally honest. Those qualities endeared him to Gold, because it reminded him of the son he himself had lost. "I know that you believe in the curse, and that you know Regina is the Evil Queen! I know who you are, and I know you're really powerful. _Please_ tell me how to make my mom better again." He stared the man down, desperation now rolling off of his small form.

"You are a smart boy, Henry." He knew the game was up. Regina had crossed the line, and there was no point in keeping the charade going. "Emma has been put under a powerful Sleeping Curse. In this world, it could be deadly." He held up a hand to stop whatever the boy was about to say. "Now, no matter how powerful the curse, it can always be broken with-"

"True Love's Kiss," Henry finished for him.

"Exactly."

"Does that mean that I should go kiss my mom?"

Gold chuckled lightly. "No, Henry. There are a few rules when it comes to True Love. If you were under that curse, it would have to be someone who truly loved you as family to break that curse. You're just a boy. Emma, on the other hand, is a grown woman. The only Love powerful enough to break it would be that of a romantic nature."

"But... Emma doesn't have a True Love."

"I would be so sure about that, Henry. Everyone has a True Love. Now, I can't tell you who that person is, but I can assure you that this curse will not kill Emma."

"How can you be sure?"

"Your mother is a very special woman. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?"

Henry nodded, hope shining in his eyes once more. "I'll find her True Love. I swear it!" With that, he turned and exited the shop.


	2. Paying a Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina tries so hard to hold onto her power. Gold seems to know something she doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the pseudo-season 1 summary, but I had to get it out there. We will see Regina and Emma soon!

Regina was immensely upset the day her beloved son went missing. He never showed up at school that day, not a soul had seen him, the Mayor's boy. The sheriff's searches and questioning yielded no fruit.

The sun had begun its descent toward the horizon, and her facade of calm was beginning to slip. She was losing her temper with Graham, and paced around her estate like an agitated panther, muttering possibilities for his disappearance to herself.

It wasn't totally unlike Henry to run away. He was a boy with a great thirst for adventure. There were days when he would scamper off into the forest, vanishing for hours at a time, and then show up back at home, muddy, scratched and eyes shining with excitement.

This was different. Regina knew it; she could feel it. It alarmed her on every level, not having felt those warnings in many years. It left the hair on the back of her neck standing up on end and her skin crawling. Everything made her jump or twitch. She hated feeling this on edge.

Graham stood nearby, fidgeting uncomfortably, not knowing what to do with himself. She heard the slamming of car doors outside. Regina tensed, then pounced. She flung the door open, her son and a strange woman standing on the walkway ahead of her. She scooped up her son, relief washing over her in a warm and welcome wave.

But Henry pushed her away, claiming he had found his real mother. He shot her a glare that she had been seeing more often than usual lately before scampering off into the mansion. The Sheriff said he would go check on the boy, leaving the two women alone.

She saw someone who looked completely out of her element. Insecurity clung to her skin, as she nervously waited for some hint as to what her next move should be. Regina, ever the courteous woman, invited the woman known as Emma Swan inside for a drink. She had to know whom she was dealing with.

She couldn't decide what to make of what she gleaned from their conversation, but it was fairly apparent that Emma was a woman with strong opinions, a drifter that didn't like many attachments, somewhat flighty but confident in her endeavors. She wanted to trust that this woman would simply disappear now that Henry was returned safely to where he belongs, but the twisting in her gut told her otherwise. So, she began to put up her walls and began to guard that which was the most precious to her.

 

She was right to do so.

 

Emma stuck around like an irritating cold. She was still in Storybrooke the following morning, and in jail no less. To make matters worse, Henry was missing. Again. It was not exactly a banner morning for the mayor. To her displeasure, the blonde interloper offered to help find her boy. She had little choice, but followed the woman like a hawk, until the trail led to one Mary Margaret Blanchard.

Her patience was wearing thin much faster than she expected, and when the teacher sassed her about her parenting and the social status of her son, her normally calm veneer dissolved. She sent some venomous words toward the hapless woman and strode away, cursing her lack of self-control the whole time.

Emma did as she said she would, and brought her beloved child home, but Regina could already see a different woman from the one she met the previous night. This Emma Swan's eyes trailed after the little boy disappearing into his house. This Emma Swan had a determination that Regina knew she could only get from the Charmings, and it alarmed her deeply.

Once again, her skin was crawling, and her senses were on high alert. However, it wasn't due to a missing child, but the mere presence of the woman she already knew to be the Savior. Emma was dangerous, and she had to do everything in her power to remove the blonde as fast as she possibly could.

But Emma maintained her presence, poisoning the mind of her child and meddling in delicate affairs that Regina had carefully tended to for several decades. She tried everything in her power to get the woman to leave town. Multiple arrests didn't seem to affect her (though after reading her file, she shouldn't have been shocked to find that out), and even preventing her from having a place to stay at Granny's didn't get her to skip town.

To Regina's disbelief, Emma simply slept in her car (probably another undesirable trait she picked up from her checkered past). Of course, Mary Margaret, ever the simpering do-gooder, took in the homeless Swan. How touching, mother and daughter reunited, in a sad sort of way.

In addition to the blonde's meddlesome presence, Henry was slipping away from Regina faster than she could try to tighten her hold. He relentlessly opted to favor a woman that gave him up because she was too much of a wreck to properly care for him. This flummoxed the mayor, and she did not like to have her feathers ruffled.

The real icing on the cake in this whole scenario was that things were changing in Storybrooke. Regina had designed this town to remain static. Nothing was supposed to deviate from its intended purpose, and yet, thanks to the new Sheriff of Storybrooke, a stranger was in town, she was forced to kill Graham and Mr Gold had shown that he remembered his former existence and made no effort to hide his ability to use it against her.

The thing that perplexed Regina the most about Emma Swan was the fact that Emma never failed to rescue the mayor, no matter how undesirable the gesture was. The Savior never failed do to saving where saving was needed, and Regina despised the fact that she occasionally did need saving. It positively disgusted her.

She couldn't tell what her relationship with the sheriff was. All she wanted was for her to disappear, let Regina have her Henry, have her victory and be done with it. But that was no longer an option, especially now that Henry had tied himself so tightly to Emma. There were fleeting moments when she found that the idea of going back to Storybrooke before the Savior's intrusion was no longer appealing. The blonde brought excitement with her wherever she went, and it gave Regina deep satisfaction to win when she could. She felt alive, and more like the Queen than she had in many, many years. Those thoughts terrified the brunette.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

There came a moment when Regina knew that whatever semblance of control she thought she had came crashing down around her. The floodgates had been opened, and it was more like acid was washing over her than water. However, she was the Queen, and she would be damned if she just stepped aside and watched everything burn. No. That was not an option.

She would win this round with Emma where she had failed with Snow White. Thanks to her vague promises to Jefferson, she was able to use the last bit of magic she had with her to retrieve the apple she used on Snow so long ago. Emma would fall to the curse, and, given the unstable nature of magic in the world she was stuck in, it would most likely kill her.

She knew her well-placed shot had landed its mark when Henry came flying through the door, all wild eyes and anger. How had Regina been so foolish to forget what her son suspected about her when enacting the plan? She tried, and failed spectacularly, to convince the boy that she had done this for him, and for their family. Yet, when he screamed that he never wanted to see her again, something broke in Regina's stony heart.

 

Magic always comes with a price.

 

Never did she imagine that the price to pay for Emma's demise would be that of her son. It had been a week since the Savior had fallen under the Sleeping Curse, and it had been a week since she had seen her beloved son.

Like his unfortunate mother and irritating grandparents, Henry had the uncanny ability to slip through her fingers like smoke. She knew that he spent most of his time at Mary Margaret's, but he was smart and kept moving, never lingering in one place for too long. No one in the town was willing to deal with the mayor on any level. They were all too shaken up and distraught over Emma's condition, not to mention the fact that they all secretly suspected Regina's hand in the matter.

It was supposed to be her victory. She had defeated the Savior, and all was supposed to return to her. Nothing did. The very foundations of Storybrooke had been shattered the moment Emma Swan decided to stay in town. There was no way to rebuild what she had unless she could miraculously enact a new curse. That was a desperate fantasy.

It wasn't long before she found herself in Gold's shop. Her heels clicked loudly in the close air of the dingy store. She chose to enter at night, when she was least likely to be seen by angry eyes. Gold was standing behind the counter, looking as though he had been expecting her all along.

"I was wondering when you would show, your Majesty."

"Is that so?"

"Is everything alright, dearie? You look like you haven't slept. Guilty conscience, perhaps?"

"Enough games, Imp. Why isn't she dead?" Regina was practically leaning over the counter in her attempt to get into Gold's face. She had a point to make.

"She's the Savior, haven't you heard? You can't just _kill_ the Savior. Surely you figured that out by now." He kept his tone light and even, but never without a slight air of smugness. He loved knowing things the Queen did not.

"That much is obvious. I want to know why!" Regina slammed her palms on the counter.

"Tell me, your Majesty, who are Emma's parents?"

The mayor rolled her eyes, getting impatient with him. "Snow White and Prince Charming."

"Precisely. Our dear Miss Swan is the product of True Love." He let the last two words hang in the air. "It's the only thing that can break any curse without fail. However, as unstable as our magic is in this realm, Emma holds a shroud, if you will, of True Love around her. While the curse will keep her asleep, it can't kill her. She's protected."

"I see." Regina studied the man before her, considering her next words carefully. "What if I simply walked in there and pulled the plug on her?"

"Blunt. To the point and lacking in finesse, but I think you'll find that hard to do." She couldn't tell what the strange look on his face meant. "And Henry?"

"Ah, I'm afraid there's little to do to remedy that. All magic comes with a price, dearie."

"Why is my son that price?" Regina was growing more and more agitated. Gold's eyebrows rose, refusing to answer. He knew that she was well aware as to why it was Henry paying the curse's price. "Fine, forget I asked. You said there was little I could do, not nothing I could do. What are my options?"

"That's simple enough. Give your boy back his mother."

"I can't."

"Oh, I'm sure you can. Remember, _any_ curse can be broken with True Love's Kiss."

"Emma has no True Love, that's one of the reasons I knew cursing her would be effective this time."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, dearie." He smirked knowingly at her, and his gaze made her shift uncomfortably. His eyes rested on her hand.

"Wherever did the ring from your beloved Daniel disappear to?" Their eyes met, Regina's full of fear as she grasped at the bare finger. All magic comes with a price.


	3. Kisses of Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry vainly searches for Emma's True Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope Henry's 'brilliant' plan makes you chuckle! I have fun thinking of shenanigans that he would get up to.

Henry sat in the stiff chair next to the to the bed his mother was lying on. She was not in any glass coffin. There was no Prince Charming to come for her. There was only the steady beeping of the monitor beside her, and the faint drip of the IV fluids.

He was reading to her earlier, hoping that the answer would leap out from between the many pages whose words had guided him to truth so many times, but now he just felt betrayed. He was holding her hand, stroking small circles with the pad of his thumb. Her fingers did not tighten around his, and they were uncomfortably cold.

It had been over a week, and there was not the slightest change in her condition. Despite what Mr Gold had told the boy, he kissed her, just to see. Even though he knew in his heart that it would not work, disappointment crashed over him nonetheless. Now he was just staring at her blank face, puzzling away. Mary Margaret was waiting outside, reading while she let the boy have his time with his mother.

"Mr Gold told me that only True Love's Kiss will save you. Why didn't you tell me you had a True Love? Gold told me that everyone has a True Love. If you had told me, he could be here right now, waking you up!" He squeezed her hand a little tighter. "Who is he, Emma?" He hoped that she would mutter the answer in her sleep, but her mouth stayed silent and still.

He must have asked her that question a hundred times already, and every time the result was the same. Every time, he left disappointed. He looked around the small space; it had become rather crowded with bouquets, cards, balloons and other tokens left for the Savior. They were all far too cheery for Henry's liking. His mood did not reflect their bright colors and positive sentiments in any way.

He was reluctant to leave, but he knew that she was hardly ever alone. Someone was always there, watching and waiting for the moment she woke up. This comforted Henry; not because he would be notified the moment her eyes opened, but because he knew that as long as someone was watching her, Regina couldn't come anywhere near his mother. Emma was safe.

He slouched out of the room, the brunette looking up from the pages of her book. A bleak smile crossed her lips, but vanished quickly when she saw his face. She prided herself on her ability to care for Henry in his poor emotional state, but it was taxing, and he was deteriorating with every passing day. Comforting an adult was one thing, but handling a child was much more delicate and complicated. She glanced up at the clock.

"Hey, are you feeling hungry? It's just about lunchtime. I'll take you to Granny's!" She was having a harder time motivating him to eat, but couldn't blame him either. She knew exactly how depression and loss could destroy one's appetite, among other things. "You can have anything you want. Even ice cream!" She saw his lips twitch at the mention of the treat.

"Sure." He shrugged and made to leave.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

 

"Hey Henry! You're you doing?" Ruby was all smiles and charm for the boy, making him feel as welcomed as possible.

"Mom's not awake, Ruby." He plopped down at the counter.

"She will. Don't you worry. How could she stay like that for too long? Everyone here loves her! She can't resist that!" The waitress smiled warmly, and Henry's eyes perked up.

"Thinking of something?" Mary Margaret asked, noticing the difference in his expression.

"You lived with my mom for a while, Ms Blanchard, and you guys talked a lot, right?"

"Yes, I suppose we did. Why?"

"Did you ever talk about... boys?"

The woman smiled at his question. "Sort of. I mean, we did end up talking about David quite a bit, but that's hardly-"

"I mean, did Emma ever mention having a crush on anyone?"

"What?"

"Emma can only be woken by True Love's Kiss! But I don't know who her True Love is. She never told me she was interested in anyone. Did she tell you?"

"Henry..." She wasn't overly surprised that Henry was once again resorting to fairy tale solutions to help his mother, but that didn't stop her from groaning internally.

"Did she, Ms Blanchard?"

"No, Henry, Emma never mentioned liking anyone." The crestfallen look on his face broke her heart.

"Ruby!" He looked at the woman sliding a hot chocolate in front of him. "You know everything going on around town." Her eyebrows flew upward at that remark. "Did Emma ever mention having any crushes?"

Ruby's brows rose even further. "Nope. Can't say she did. Sorry."

He sipped pensively at his drink, clearly lost in thought. Mary Margaret recognized that look. She had seen it on Emma's face many times before, and knew better than to interrupt.

"Can you take me to Archie's office?"

"Why? Did you want to talk to Dr Hopper about how you're feeling?"

"Uhh...yeah. Yeah, I need to talk to him about this. Can we go now?" His eyes were alit with mischief, and she knew he was lying; however, it was refreshing to see that glint in his eyes rather than the new, sullen look they usually had of late. She consented, paid and took the boy to the shrink's office.

"Hello, Henry. What can I do for you today?" The man greeted him genially with a gentle smile.

"I need to know if my mom had any crushes on anyone?"

"Well, Regina did mention in passing-"

"Wrong mom, Archie!"

"Oh! Sorry, I just..." He cleared his throat with embarrassment. "Sorry. No, Henry, I'm afraid that I don't know if Emma had any romantic interests. Why do you ask?"

Henry huffed in frustration and left. He had a lot of work to do.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

Over the following days, Henry tirelessly worked on a plan to break his mother of the Sleeping Curse. Mary Margaret and Ruby helped him out of a mixture of pity and need to keep an eye on him. He set about gathering a list of all the men in the town he knew not to already have a True Love in the Enchanted Forest.

Henry decided that, like Sleeping Beauty waiting for the kiss of her True Love, he would get 'princes' to kiss his mom. The idea grossed him out, but it was now his job to find Emma's True Love. One of them would wake her up. One of them had to, or all was lost.

He was pleased to know that Regina was keeping a very low profile. He was completely aware that she would be tracking his movements, but from a distance. She couldn't really show her face around town since everyone already thought that she was the one who tried to murder the town's beloved Sheriff.

After some careful planning, Henry and Mary Margaret were in Emma's room, standing beside her while a long line of men stood outside. Some of them were there out of pity, some because they were romantics and others just so they could say that they kissed the blonde.

David hovered nearby, keeping a close watch on the anxious men. Henry would call them in one at a time. Each candidate would approach, leave a chaste kiss on the Savior's lips and leave. After roughly the 25th guy smooched to no avail, Henry was clearly losing hope. He was waiting for that burst of pure Love, and Emma's eyes to fly open, resting on the face of her True Love.

But it didn't happen. Just about every single man in town had come and gone, and Emma was still soundly unconscious. David stepped in after the last guy left, clearly failing to rouse the woman with the prowess of his lips.

"I'm sorry, Henry," he said, eyeing Mary Margaret carefully.

"It was supposed to work. How am I supposed to find her True Love? He has to be in Storybrooke somewhere!"

"I know you said it wouldn't work, but are you sure you don't want me to try?" He glanced at the brunette, seeing her nod with consent.

"It won't make a difference. Do whatever you want." Henry stared dejectedly at his sneakers.

David walked over to the bed, gave Emma the smallest kiss and pulled away. Nothing happened. "Sorry, Henry."

"I told you it wouldn't work. You're not Mom's True Love. You belong with Snow White." With that, he left the room, the brunette following after giving an apologetic smile to the man standing across from her.

It was 2am. The lights were low, and Leroy had left Emma's side for the night. The soft glow of the screens cast deep shadows on the vacant face of the Savior. Only the hum of the machines and steady beeping of the heart monitor break the sleepy silence. The door of the little room quietly clicked shut. Regina stared down at the unconscious figure before her.


	4. Heart Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finds herself by Emma's side more often than she would like to admit to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the views, kudos and comments! This has been a blast to write, and I'm having so much fun wit Regina and Gold dancing around each other! Comment and let me know what you all think!

It was not the first time the mayor was in the hospital in the dead of night. This was, however, the first time she actually entered the room of the sleeping blonde. Normally she just watched through the glass, glancing frequently at the heart monitor. However, something made her hand grasp the cold knob and slowly open the door that night, praying it wouldn't squeak.

Mahogany eyes grazed over pale skin and golden tresses. Her enemy perplexed and frustrated her to no end. It would have been so easy to just quietly turn off all of the machines, gently pull out the IVs, sit down in the chair and watch her die. Yet, Gold's words hung around her mind like a foggy veil. She wouldn't die. Regina, the feared Queen of the Enchanted Forest couldn't kill the nuisance child of Snow and Charming.

She huffed in irritation. Going into Ms Swan's room was a mistake, but she found she couldn't quite tear herself away. Not just yet, anyhow. She further studied the still body before her. Regina could not deny the physical power of the Savior. Her hand unconsciously rose to feel the tiny lump on her jawbone that lingered after the sheriff's fist had collided soundly with her face.

But there she was, lying there like a corpse; no amount of physical strength could save her. Regina picked up Emma's arm by the wrist and let it fall heavily against the blankets. She reveled in the soft _whump_ the woman's limb made. A small smile painted her lips.

"That's right, Ms Swan, I've won. I will always win, because this is _my_ victory. Not yours. _Mine._ "

The mayor went to repeat the action, but in the dim lighting she accidentally grabbed the icy fingers of her enemy. Her breath hitched when she felt how unnaturally cold her digits were. Instead of pulling her hand away, like all of her instincts were screaming at her to do, she tightened her grip a little bit more.

Suddenly, Emma's fingers noticeably twitched against the mayor's, and there was an abrupt irregularity in the rhythm of the heart monitor. Regina yanked her whole arm away as though it had been burned, her eyes widening in fear. Coming to see the sheriff was definitely a bad decision on her part, a habit that Regina couldn't quite seem to escape from.

A short while later, she found herself in the lounge of her large and startlingly empty mansion. She had placed herself on one of the barstools, slowly nursing a warm scotch. It seemed to be the only thing that could get her restless and irked mind to sleep lately.

Henry's absence was sorely felt, and her heart clenched knowing that her son was not upstairs snoring softly in his sleep. She found that if she didn't dwell on it too much, she could pretend that he was still slumbering away, excited for pancakes when he awoke the next morning. Every time she caught herself indulging in that fantasy, the mayor felt increasingly pathetic.

She was still having trouble cooking portions that were small enough for her. There weren't two mouths to feed, and Graham wasn't even there to fill the space. She was alone and exposed in the void surrounding her. A shiver of loss rippled through the mayor's tense body. She took another long sip of the amber liquid, the scorching burn running down her throat trying to chase the cold away. It didn't work.

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Regina rolled over fitfully in her large, empty bed, not yet ready to be awake. She could feel her head aching slightly from too much scotch and, and all of her limbs felt sluggish due to her late-night excursion. She groaned, rubbing her hands over her bleary eyes, trying to find a reason to actually extract herself from her blankets and get to her day.

Regina couldn't find a single one, but she was too proud to give in to her childish self-loathing and apathy. It wasn't long before she found the warm embrace of a hot shower washing away some of her morning grouchiness. She did not want to go to Town Hall and address her mountain of paper work. She did not want to make a run to the liquor store because she drank the last of her only bottle of whiskey. She especially did not want to think of Henry's continued disappearance from her life.

But she had to, because she was Regina Mills, mayor of Storybrooke, and a proud woman. She allowed her false speech of motivation push her through the morning, but as the day dragged on, her steely resolve slipped further and further away. She pulled her hand away from yet another form that she was sluggishly slashing her signature across and flexed her achy fingers.

An image, no, a sensation blossomed in her mind as she remembered cold fingertips increasing their pressure against her own. She remembered the digital sound of Emma's own heart skipping a beat, and the way her own mirrored that action. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the notion that the sheriff's hand had responded because it was Regina's against hers. It was coincidence.

Yet, she couldn't fight the feeling that relentlessly nagging at every corner of her mind. It felt as though someone was repeatedly poking her in the back of her head, giggling and trying to get her attention. It wasn't long before the woman tired of the little games her mind was playing, and blamed it on lack of sleep.

She decided before leaving work early on grounds of illness that the only way to put this issue to rest would be to got back to Ms Swan's room and hold her hand again. Nothing would happen, and the mayor would leave feeling foolish but relieved.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

 

Regina found herself parked outside of the liquor store, needing to restock on her only sleep aid. She breezed past the Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey and Jim Beam. The mayor had no taste for cheap alcohol, always relishing the finer things in life. After looking at the display of whiskies, she slid a bottle of Balvenie off of the shelf.

"That's a lot of scotch for one woman," came the soft, sly voice of Mr Gold.

Regina whipped around, a mask of loathing already in place. "It's not all for me, Gold."

"Really? I wasn't aware that you entertained much these days, dearie."

"That is _none_ of your business, Gold."

"My apologies, Madame Mayor. It's a shame that the sheriff hasn't awoken yet," he said with an air that one might use when discussing mild gossip. Regina's grip tightened on the bottle in her hands. "You should have seen all your boy was doing to try and find Miss Swan's True Love. It really was quite endearing."

"That's because she _does not have one_ ," the mayor snapped through gritted teeth.

"How long are you going to keep telling yourself that, Regina?" He slid a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon off of one of the neighboring wine racks. He smiled at her narrowed eyes and clenched jaw. "Enjoy drinking alone tonight. Again."

With that, he turned and casually limped away, leaving the mayor seething in the spot she found herself rooted to. Her teeth ground uncomfortably hard against each other, and the scotch in her hand felt like it might explode with the raw anger roiling off of her rigid body.

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Regina sat in one of her reading chairs, legs tightly crossed, tumbler in one hand and fingers drumming against the armrest in the other. She was staring almost unblinkingly at the clock innocently ticking on the wall opposite her. The hands read 1:57. Its steady rhythm was the only sound in the house, and Regina needed wait only three more minutes before she would set out to the hospital.

Normally the mayor would drive, but she could feel the whiskey blurring her senses around the edges. She would walk that night. Maybe the cold air would help set her mind right anyway. The second hand landed on the 12 as the minute hand slid jauntily up to the little tick that marked the fifty-eighth minute of the hour.

She took another sip of the beverage, counting the seconds as she watched them pass on the clock's face. _16...17...18...19...20..._ Her fingers drummed a little faster. _22...23...24...25..._ Her foot twitched impatiently. _27...28...29...30..._ She drained her glass, wincing from the rough burn. _35...36...37...38..._ Regina's eyes stung from not blinking. _40...41...42...43..._ She ceased all movement as she watched the hand skip through the last two segments on the clock. _55...56...57...58...59_ The mayor stood up abruptly, abandoning the last minute she thought she would wait for. She deposited her glass in the bar sink and swung her coat around her shoulders.

Regina let the cacophony of crickets crowd her fuzzy brain, silently praising herself for wearing boots instead of her usual stilettos. The mayor was just tipsy enough that she felt ever so slightly unsteady on her feet. Heels would only make that worse.

She plodded quietly down the darkened hospital halls, her cheeks pink from the cold. The brunette was uncomfortably aware of how hard her heart was hammering, and it only got louder as she got closer to Emma's quarters. She had just entered the pale light of the waiting area outside of the tiny room when she noticed someone sitting in one of the chairs. She jumped, startled to see someone else there.

Ruby was sitting outside the room, listening to her iPod and bobbing her head to an invisible beat. Her eyes snapped up to the terrified ones of the woman that strode into the small space.

"Mayor Mills?" Shock and disbelief colored every syllable that tumbled from her red lips. She leapt up and moved in an almost animalistic fashion to stand in front of the door to the sheriff's room. She looked every bit the part of a guard dog. "What are you doing here...Mayor?" she added, trying to be respectful.

"I might ask you the same question," Regina responded shortly.

"I never sleep during the full moon. I'm keeping an eye on Emma." Ruby boldly stepped up in front of the woman before her, slightly invading her personal space. "Looks like I picked a good night to stay late. Come to finish her off, Madame Mayor?"

"You are sorely out of line."

Ruby's unnaturally sharp senses immediately caught the alcohol on the mayor's breath. "Have you been drinking?" she asked with disgust.

Regina drew herself up to her full height, whispering with deadly calm, "If you have any sense of self-preservation, you will make yourself very scarce. _Immediately_."

Despite her determination to defend her friend, Regina still held more power, more intimidation, and she knew exactly how to use it in as few words as possible. The young woman's eyes widened, backing down like a dog with her tail between her legs. She mumbled a brief apology before scampering off, leaving Regina blissfully alone once more. She smiled at her ability to continue to instill fear in her subjects.

She let herself into the tiny room, hearing the hum of machines and beeping of the monitor once more. Emma still looked the same as the night before. Still, breathing slowly, no emotion on her normally expressive face.

Regina fidgeted with the finger that once bore the ring of her late lover. Her heart was hammering in her throat, and her stomach felt like it was full of squirmy worms. Those were highly unacceptable reactions to a harmless woman lying limp in a hospital bed. She moved her hand forward, biting her lip, hovering her fingers over the sheriff's.

Regina hesitated, frustrating herself more at her own doubt and weakness. She plunged her fingers between Emma's, cringing slightly. They were still painfully cold. Why didn't the nurses tuck her hands under the covers? Wasn't it their job to care for her? Why did she even care if the nurses looked after her properly or not?

She felt it again. This time, Emma's digits didn't just twitch against her own; they fully wrapped themselves up in her hand. Her heart didn't just blip once in skipped beat; her heart rate sped up for a full 20 beats. Regina counted, never parting her captured hand from the Savior's. This was a bad sign.


	5. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina falls deeper into nighttime habit, and it's taking its toll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who were enjoying the sections following Henry, don't worry! He will be back very soon! Otherwise, please enjoy!

Regina's head snapped up from her desk when the phone rang. She answered, irritation coloring her voice. That was the third time that week that she had fallen asleep at work. No matter how much coffee she consumed, she could not battle the fatigue reigning over her life at the moment.

She angrily chastised herself when she slammed the receiver back down onto its cradle. Regina gasped when she looked down at the proposal she was supposed to be reviewing to see smudges of lipstick where her mouth was resting upon the paper.

Glancing at the clock, the mayor saw that it was 2:15. She had been asleep for a solid half hour. _Shit. I can't keep doing this._ Regina stood up, deciding that maybe she just needed to splash a little cold water on her face. That ought to wake her up a bit. She scooped up her purse, knowing that she would have to redo her makeup.

The hard water collided with the brunette's face, its icy temperature pricking her cheeks and eyelids. She filled her cupped hands again, her own fingers rapidly losing their own heat when they rose to slosh the liquid all over her face again. After the third splash, she licked some of the water droplets from her lips before snatching up some paper towels.

She dabbed lightly at her now chilled skin until it was dry again. When she looked into the mirror before her, the reflection tiredly eyeing her almost startled the mayor. Her skin was pale, throwing the shadows underneath her eyes into sharp relief. The corners of Regina's mouth seemed almost slack with exhaustion, and she noticed the way her normally squared shoulders drooped like those of a commoner.

Her expression soured at the way she was so easily defeated by losing a few hours of sleep every night. That was the problem. Regina inexplicably found herself in Emma Swan's hospital room every single night shortly after 2am. Sometimes she would stand there and simply stare at the Savior, and other nights, she would sit in the uncomfortable chair beside the sheriff's bed and hold her frigid hand.

Regina's heart jumped at the memories of Emma's own heart hammering every time the mayor laced her fingers with the Savior's. She felt a sinking sensation in her stomach and shame washed through her. She was Regina Mills, mayor of Storybrooke and formerly the Evil Queen that lorded over the Enchanted Forest. There was no reason she should be acting like a little schoolgirl, stealing moments after classes with a first crush.

She shook her head, trying to push all the traitorous thoughts she was having to the back of her mind, and tried to refocus on all of the work waiting for her on her desk. However, she knew, try as she might, that her concentration was destroyed for the day.

Regina left the bathroom and glanced at the clock upon re-entering her office. It read 2:35. Henry would be leaving school. If it had been any other time, he would be walking back to the mayoral mansion, fixing himself a snack and then sitting down to do his homework. But that time was long gone.

She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, frustration clouding her already-fatigued mind. A dull ache was beginning to throb at the back of her head, and all Regina could think about was slipping into a hot bath with a glass of wine.

But, as always, there were things that she had to do before she could let herself unwind. The mayor told herself to finish reviewing the proposal, and then she would leave early. After that, she would stop at the store for dinner ingredients. Regina was feeling something simple like stir-fry, after which she could finally wander off into oblivion for a few hours. Regina had her plan as she always did. Now, it was just a matter of following it.

The mayor was leaving the little grocery store when she caught sight of Henry chatting animatedly with Mary Margaret Blanchard in the small parking lot. The three immediately noticed each other, and the air suddenly felt thick with tension.

Regina looked at her son, a relieved smile splitting her features. She started walking over to the pair, eager to talk to him. Mary Margaret faintly looked as though she would like to vomit, while Henry appeared scared and nervous at first, then a hard look of determination covered his features.

"Henry! Oh, Henry, thank goodness you're okay! I can't tell you how much I've worried about you!" Regina knelt down in front of the boy, not sure if she should try to embrace him. She drank in the sight of her son, having not seen him for a small eternity.

Henry was far less pleased to have run into his adoptive mother. "Who is he!" he shot at her.

Her smile faltered. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Emma's True Love! I know you cursed her, and I know the only way to wake her up is with True Love's Kiss!"

Regina blinked, hurt and taken aback by his blunt accusation. "Henry..."

"No! I know you know who he is, and you're probably keeping him somewhere where he can't get to Emma! Who is he!"

"Henry, I am not some evil witch, and I did not curse Ms Swan! Dr Whale is doing everything he can to find out what happened to her, but I can assure you that I had nothing-"

"You liar! I will find him! I _will_ save my _mom!_ " He intentionally threw that last word into Regina's face, knowing how much it hurt her. He turned and ran off toward Mary Margaret's car, launching himself inside before slamming the door shut.

She turned her infuriated gaze to the woman standing before her.

"Mayor Mills... I'm, uh..."

"Save it, Ms Blanchard. I do not want to hear even a fraction of one of your pathetic excuses. But if I find out that you have been indulging _my son_ in his foolish notion that I am some sort of fairy tale villain, you will regret it." With that, she turned and left the cowed woman where she stood, rooted to the pavement.

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Regina hurled the empty wine glass she was clutching at the wall. It shattered soundly, and the sharp tinkling of glass fragments striking the floor pleased the raw fury pounding through her veins. She had half a mind to take everything breakable around her and destroy it. She had no magic, there weren't any peasants to slaughter in blind rage, and she wasn't the Queen anymore.

A deep, carnal roar tore from her throat. That was the first time she had seen Henry since he stormed into her home, screaming at her for what she did to Emma. The worst part of it all was that he was entirely right about everything. Well, almost everything. She was in no way hiding Emma's True Love in some dungeon. She didn't even know who it was. Rather, she didn't know in any way she was prepared to admit to.

Regina suddenly found herself missing the fights she had with the sheriff. Now those she could handle. Fighting with her son, and seeing the way he looked upon her with disdain, she could not handle. Emma was easy to fight with. The woman wore everything on her sleeves, she seemed to be bound by a code of honor, and she was a terrible liar.

Regina did respect the way that the sheriff stood her ground, and she was even more impressed with how Emma never failed to make eye contact with her adversaries. She even challenged Gold, when the opportunity arose. Emma usually wound up being a maelstrom of chaos, but she was firm with her beliefs, and loyal to those around her.

Regina liked the way Emma's emerald eyes bored into her own, and the sure, steady _clomp_ of her boots when the sheriff came charging into Regina's office, and the way her brow knit when she was thinking, and just how impossibly _close_ she would bring her face to Regina's when they were arguing. And... _Shit! What the hell am I thinking of?! She is the reason your life is upside down, Regina! Pull yourself together!_

Whatever was happening to her, the mayor knew it was bad. A nagging voice at the back of her mind also notified her that she had no idea how to stop it. If anything, that frightened her beyond belief. Ever since her evil wretch of a mother killed her lover right in front of her, Regina had dedicated her life to schooling her emotions. She spent many years learning how to control and quell them. The fact that these little feelings flitting about her brain could not be caught and destroyed infuriated the controlling woman.

She also knew that it would only get worse if she continued to stew about it. She needed a distraction. She set about cleaning up the mess she made, and then started to make herself dinner. She found it much easier to make smaller meals now, but it still caused her heart to involuntarily clench with grief.

After eating a very lonely supper, Regina cleaned up, poured herself a fresh glass of wine and walked slowly upstairs. She walked into the master bathroom, turning on the tap to fill the Jacuzzi with steaming hot water. She poured a few drops of lavender oil into the swirling mix before stripping out of her clothes.

It felt blissfully calming against her tired body while the lavender scent soothed her buzzing nerves. The wine helped her relax a little more, and after ten minutes, just soaking, a contented sigh escaped her lips. It was exactly what she needed.

Regina was in bed, reading a book to pass the time. She was feeling infinitely better than she was earlier on in the day. Her chest didn't feel so tight, and her headache had abated. She was reading some pointless fantasy book full of adventure, danger and magic, of course. It turned out to be one of her little guilty pleasures. She thought it was hilarious to read what the people in this realm thought magic would be like. She even secretly read all of Henry's _Harry Potter_ books. The notion of magic in those novels especially amused Regina.

A little beeping sound from the alarm clock on her nightstand startled her from her immersion in the book. She promptly closed it, hitting a button on the clock to stop the repetitive noise. She slipped off of the bed, taking a deep breath to calm her suddenly jumpy nerves. This trip to the hospital would be no different from any of the others; however, the fact that she was now setting alarms for herself disturbed the brunette.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

Regina stared down at the blonde. She looked almost peaceful. The mayor was used to seeing a look of frustration or exhaustion on the sheriff's face. In this state, all of the furrows on her brow had smoothed out, her normally tight mouth relaxed and the bags under her eyes had disappeared entirely.

"What are you doing to me, Emma Swan?" She whispered the words, hoping that if she asked it out loud the answer would reveal itself. "Why am I pulled here every night? Why do you invade every corner of my mind? What do you want from me?"

Regina delicately set herself down in the chair, pulling Emma's hand into her own. The familiar increase in heart rate sounded from the machine nearby. The mayor sandwiched the sheriff's fingers between her palms, bleeding as much body heat as she could into those cold digits.

It became almost routine for her to warm up the woman's hands while she was there. And whenever she palmed the blonde's fingers, they twitched against her own, seeking out a more intimate connection. Regina began to crave that, and she occasionally allowed herself to think that it made her feel wanted in someway. That someone, even the cursed, unconscious form of her enemy, wanted to touch her.

She looked at Emma's face again. She had studied those blank features so intensely that she felt as though she could map them out in her sleep. Unfortunately, the blonde's face was popping up in her dreams more often than they ever had before. It used to be nightmares that she had about the Savior. She feared the day that Emma rallied the town to overthrow her...to kill her.

As of late, the nightmares about her sheriff changed to one single dream. It was always the same. The two of them stood alone in the bedchamber of her castle in the Enchanted Forest. Emma was in her usual garb, red leather jacket standing out brightly against all the dark colours that Regina preferred.

Emma's arm was extended, hand reaching out to her. She was smiling gently, in a reassuring way, silently asking for her Queen. Invisible strings tugged the Queen toward the woman who so clearly did not belong in her sleeping quarters. She felt her hand come up, moving toward the beseeching Savior, somehow knowing that she would be saved if she took that offered hand.

The Queen felt her fingertips slide against Emma's, watching them tangle together. Yet, the blonde's digits were unnaturally cold, startlingly so. They felt more like death. Her eyes snapped up to the other woman's green ones. She saw that warm, reassuring smile on the Savior's lips falter. Something wasn't right. And then, Emma's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she collapsed against the floor, still as death.

That was usually when Regina would snap out of her sleep, covered in sweat, breathing heavily. Every time she awoke, she knew that her own fatal touch caused Emma to fall. Her fingers held death. Even with that knowledge, every time she slipped into the dream, she could not stop herself from wanting to take what the blonde offered. Regina still couldn't figure out what her brain was trying to tell her.

The mayor kept her eyes focused on Emma's face, rememorizing every dip and curve of her skin. Her chocolate eyes fell on the swell of the sheriff's thin lips. She unconsciously licked her own, concentrating on the palw pink color the other woman's were. She imagined that they would be soft and welcoming.

Regina felt those invisible strings tugging at her again, and she found herself leaning low over Emma's face, her eyes taking in the face before her. She had never touched anything other than the blonde's fingers, but now, the brunette found her hand reaching for the woman's face.

She rested her fingertips on one pale cheek but snapped it away almost immediately. Emma's face was as cold as her hands. She moved again, cupping her palm fully against the Savior's face, cringing slightly at the woman's frigid feel. Regina could almost see the heat being pulled away from her own flesh.

Her chocolate eyes fell to Emma's lips again, and she found her thumb moving to stroke them lightly. A gasp tumbled from her mouth when she felt that Emma's lips were not frozen like the rest of her. They were almost hot to the touch by comparison. The Savior's heart rate doubled its speed the moment her mouth was grazed by Regina's finger.


	6. Puzzles and Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry is still trying to figure out who Emma's True Love is while Ruby makes a startling discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUBY! I told you Henry would be back! I hope you guys like this next installment of the story! Please comment and tell me what you think/leave suggestions!

Henry bounced into the hospital, a fresh bunch of flowers clutched in his small fist. When he entered his mother's room, he noticed the wilted flowers in the tiny vase on the minute nightstand had already been replaced with a bouquet of red roses, set off by a single sunflower. They were beautiful.

He faltered, wondering who put those there. Everyone knew that that little vase was just for his flowers, and he turned his questioning gaze to Mary Margaret, who stood near the door. "Who put these here?"

"I don't know, Henry. Maybe Dr Whale knows? Someone must have forgotten and put their flowers in." The gentle woman reached over, plucked the roses from the vessel and set them with the other gifts left for Emma. "Speaking of, we can't stay for long after you talk to the doctor. I know you have a pile of homework tonight, and I'm not going to let that slide just because I'm not Regina."

Henry shot her a withering look before sighing and plunking the flowers into the vase. "Fine, but can I start my homework at Granny's? I promise I'll do it!"

"Okay, but you _have_ to get a minimum of one of your assignments done while we're there, deal?"

"Deal!" Henry smiled widely, an expression that the woman had been falling in love with. She had no children of her own, but always dreamt about being a mother. Taking care of Henry was something she found she enjoyed greatly. He was a sweet, eccentric boy with a passion for life and love. Looking after him made her feel a little bit more complete, almost as though this was something she was made to do.

Her fond thoughts were interrupted by the good doctor entering the small room. There was always quite a lot of tension between Mary Margaret and Dr Whale, not all of it fun. He gave her a somewhat less-than-chaste look-over before turning his attention to the boy before him.

"Well, Henry, I know what you're going to ask me, and, as you can see, there's not much difference in Emma's state..."

"But?" He prompted, hearing the unspoken word. "There _is_ something, isn't there?"

"Yes, but don't get too excited. I don't even know what to make of it myself. Let me show you something." He pulled out the clipboard tucked underneath his arm and flipped it to a funny-looking chart. "This is Emma's brain activity during most of the day and night. This is how it looked for the first few days after she went into the coma."

All the squiggly, jagged lines that Whale was pointing at made no sense to Henry, but he observed them as if he knew just what all of this would lead up to. The brunette could see the feigned look on the boy's face, and smiled to herself. He was so adorable when he was trying to act grown up.

"This," Whale continued, dramatically turning the page. "Is her brain activity during a very specific window just about every night now."

Henry's eyes widened. The spiky lines that the doctor had shown him before were fairly small and roughly the same size as each other. These were completely different. Some of them were huge while others stayed small, and it was clear that something was going on with the woman.

"You said it happened during a specific time, Dr Whale?" the woman asked.

"Yes. It normally starts anywhere from 2:15am to 2:30am. It continues like this, sometimes broken up, until roughly 3:30. The heightened activity stops after that, until the next night, of course. Some nights, it doesn't happen at all. But the pattern is fairly consistent. I cannot for the life of me figure out what is triggering these bursts."

"Does this mean she could be waking up?" Henry asked with excitement shining in his eyes.

"I don't know what this means, Henry. I will try to figure out what is triggering this; it may help me understand what happened to her, and maybe even help me revive her." He shot a warning look at the boy hanging on to his every word. "But, I have to ask you not to get your hopes up. These are very complicated situations, and, unfortunately, we have a very limited understanding of Emma's condition. As always, I will notify you immediately if there is any significant change." He departed with a few words of farewell, leaving the two alone.

Henry grasped the blonde's hand, squeezing it tightly. The steady sound of her heart reassured him that she wasn't going to vanish on him again. "I don't know who he is, but I'm gonna find your Love, Mom. I know he's here somewhere! Maybe he left you those flowers!"

He uttered a few more promises before turning and telling his teacher to go so they could get to Granny's. Mary Margaret placed her hand on top of her friend's, fighting back the sensation that made her stomach clench uncomfortably at the way Emma's hands were always frozen. She gave it a quick squeeze before following her charge out of the door.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

Henry plopped himself down at the front counter, pulling one of his notebooks out of his bag. Mary Margaret took the stool to his left, picking up a newspaper that someone had forgotten there. Ruby sidled on up to them, a big smile on her face as always.

"Hey Ruby!"

"What's up Henry? What can I get you? Hot chocolate, maybe?"

"Make that two," Mary Margaret said. The waitress winked and walked off to place their order. Henry dutifully set about working on his Math, just as he had promised the woman next to him. The brunette quietly hoped to herself that whenever she ends up having kids, that they turn out as smart, earnest and charming as Henry.

He triumphantly threw down his pencil half a hot chocolate later, proudly proclaiming his completion of his Math assignment. "I wasn't sure I would be able to figure out that last one, but I did!" A big smile painted his round face.

"I'm glad you were able to get it. I wouldn't be any good at helping you with Math! Now, onto the next assignment."

"Can't I at least take a little break?"

"Okay. I'm going to use the restroom, I'll be back in a few."

Ruby walked over as the other woman headed for the facilities. "What's new?"

"We talked to Dr Whale again today."

"Any news?"

"Yeah, actually. Something weird is going on with her brain late at night!"

"Really?" Ruby leaned forward on the counter, suddenly very interested in what he had to say. Without further prompting, Henry launched into what the doctor had shown him. He explained about the differences in Emma's brain activity, with the help of some quick drawings on a blank page in his notebook. He told her about how they only happen late at night.

"Oh! And you know the vase of flowers I keep by Emma's bed?"

"Duh! Of course I do!"

"I came by to put fresh ones in, and someone already put new flowers in."

"Really? I thought everyone knew that was your vase?"

"I did too."

"What kind of flowers were they?" Mary Margaret had come back and sat back down.

"Roses. Red, and there was a single sunflower in the middle."

"Roses, huh? How romantic!"

"Yeah, whoever left them has good taste," the teacher put in lightly.

"I think it's Emma's True Love," Henry said quite solidly. "He's probably too shy right now, but I bet he'll show himself soon. He has to..." he added quietly to himself.

"Don't worry, Henry. She'll wake up soon. Emma's a tough person. Hang in there. I have to make my rounds, you be good for Mary Margaret."

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Ruby had no idea what to make of the information she got from Henry that afternoon. Being the only waitress in the only diner in the sleepy little town, Ruby was privy to all of the hot gossip floating around. Some of it was pretty heart breaking, other tidbits were downright juicy.

The best gossip that had been circulating the town was the scandal revolving around Mary Margaret and David Nolan. Everyone knew that there was something between the two of them, and the village had not had a love affair like that one for as long as they could remember. Naturally, it was the talk of the town.

What really shook the town was when Kathryn went missing, supposedly murdered. Again, the scandalous couple wound up at the heart of it all, and Ruby heard everything from people swearing that they saw Ms Blanchard stalking the missing woman, to others heatedly defending the couple.

When Ruby quit her job at the diner, and ended up at the sheriff's office, volunteering her services, she _really_ got a dose of true gossip. Answering the phones for Emma gave her a front row seat to the problems that the people of Storybrooke were having. Especially the domestic issues.

Diner gossip was anything anyone felt comfortable discussing in public. Working in the little police station felt somehow more intimate to the young woman. She heard the panic and weariness in the voices of the townsfolk. It was jarring.

Things changed entirely when Emma started requesting that Ruby come along with her, to help her on her investigation of Kathryn's disappearance. Not only did she discover that she had a knack for tracking, but it gave her a measurement of self-worth. She realized that she was better than the tray and dishrag she followed around all day.

That pride vanished in a sobering moment of terror when she found a box containing a human heart by the Toll Bridge. Yes, she had found a crucial piece of evidence for Emma's investigation, but she was in no way prepared for the shock of what her new job entailed. What she ended up really learning wasn't that she was better than her job at Granny's, but that she simply wasn't ready to move on from it yet. On top of that, she learned the true value of information, and the damage that both the true and the false could cause.

So when she returned to what she knew best, she was a little older and little wiser. When Henry told her about the odd late night disturbances with Emma's condition, it raised a little flag in the back of her mind.

She couldn't figure out what kept nagging at her. She only knew that that particular piece of gossip had been the most startling one of all. She meandered through her shift in a haze, trying to puzzle out why Henry's story made her feel uncomfortable, and like it had sounded somehow familiar.

The little bell over the door tinkled, and Ruby caught the unmistakable sound of stilettos marching in a clipped sort of manor. She looked up to see the mayor heading straight for the front counter, but her appearance made the waitress' jaw drop slightly before she composed herself.

Regina Mills looked nothing short of haggard. The normally prim, well-put together woman seemed to have taken some time off. Her always-elegant hair lacked its usual, classy curl, choosing to droop more than bounce. The mayor appeared to have foregone makeup, revealing puffy, purple bags under her eyes and pale, sallow-looking skin.

"Coffee," she said, her voice heavy with fatigue.

"Coming right up." Ruby filled a mug as far as she dared without spilling over the rim, knowing her customer needed it badly. "Here," she said placing it as carefully as possible on the counter. "It's fresh, just made the pot a few minutes ago."

"Good." Regina lifted the cup to her lips, moaning ever-so-softly when the searing liquid passed her lips.

"Are you okay, Madame Mayor? Anything you'd like to talk about?"

"There is nothing I would like to discuss with you, of all people, Miss Lucas." Despite her exhaustion, Regina's glare had lost none of its potency.

"Sorry. You just seemed tired. I thought that maybe you'd want to unload or something..."

The look the older woman fixed her with made the color drain from her face. She immediately focused on wiping down the counter, starting at the end farthest from the mayor. By the time she was nearing the other woman, Regina was almost finished with the coffee she had been sipping slowly, as if she hadn't had any for years.

Regina set the mug down, sighing heavily and pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. That was when Ruby caught it. The moment the mayor exhaled, the waitress' unnaturally acute sense of smell caught an aroma that made the little flag in the back of her mind explode.

" _Roses...?_ " she breathed to herself.

"Pardon, Miss Lucas?" Regina had heard her.

"Sorry, Mayor Mills, but are you wearing a new perfume? You smell like roses, and it's a really nice scent."

Regina looked at her as if she had gone mad. "Roses? No, I'm not wearing any new perfume, and the one I do wear does _not_ have rose in it. You must be mistaken."

"Sorry," she mumbled. Regina started digging in her purse for her wallet. "It's on the house, Mayor," Ruby blurted.

"What?"

"Er... Two-fifty."

Regina tossed the money she owed onto the counter and left without another word. Ruby saw Regina at the hospital late at night the other week. Henry said someone left roses for Emma in the vase that only _he_ was allowed to put flowers in. The only person in town who wouldn't know that would be the boy's adoptive mother.

Regina smelled like roses. There was no mistaking that fact. Ruby knew her nose never lied to her, as strange as that sounded. Not to mention how tired the mayor looked. If she was at the hospital in the wee hours of the morning every night, Ruby knew she would look as bad as the mayor did too. The pieces were coming together, but she had no idea what picture was in the puzzle. Time for a little investigation of her own.


	7. Following a Hunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby follows her instincts, leading her to a discovery that even she wasn't prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't even plan on Ruby being quite so involved. As this mixes things up for me, I'm going to be trying to fit this all together. It might take me a little longer to post a new chapter, as I'm going to have to toy with some new ideas. Thanks again for reading! Let me know what you think!

Ruby opened the diner the following morning. She did not get very much sleep the night before. Her mind was buzzing with reasons - conspiracy theories more like - pertaining to what she discovered regarding the mayor and Emma Swan.

It started out with her trying to convince herself that it was all coincidence. Regina was the mayor; therefore, many duties fell to her. Of course she was tired. Running a town couldn't be easy. Not to mention, lots of women smell like roses. It was a popular, feminine scent.

Then again, Regina never smelled like roses. Never. She usually smelled more like apples due to the ungodly amount of those things she ate. Ruby wasn't particularly close to the older woman, but she had never seen her look _that_ run down. Regina was always collected and always sharp. The woman she saw the day before didn't even come close.

That was when the crazy ideas started. Maybe she took flowers to Emma because she felt bad for the woman? Feeling bad for someone would imply the ability to pity, and Regina did not pity a single living soul on the planet - except Henry, of course.

Perhaps the gesture was meant to try and win back Henry? Maybe, if she showed that she had some small measure of compassion within her, especially for the boy's birthmother, he would forgive her? Well, that sounded a little more likely, but why give the flowers in secret then? If she wanted Henry to know, she would have made a very public display of it.

What if those flowers were meant to be some kind of parting gift? The juiciest gossip flying around the town was that it was Regina who had somehow managed to poison the sheriff, but it didn't kill her like she intended. Perhaps this was some morbid thing that the secretive mayor did. What if she was plotting to finish off the woman the whole town knew she hated so much? After all, she never left a job unfinished. It might explain her visits in the dead of night.

Then the craziest thing Ruby had yet to come up with crossed her mind: Could Regina be Emma's lover? Henry wouldn't stop babbling about needing a kiss to wake his mother. How could she be? They hated each other, didn't they? Yet, it wasn't _that_ uncommon for love to start out as hatred and loathing. It would explain the flowers, and why Regina smelled like them. It would also explain the reasons for her visiting only in the very early hours of the morning. Knowing the mayor, Ruby suspected the brunette wouldn't want anyone knowing of her affections, especially for the sheriff.

Ruby burst out laughing to herself. Regina _in love_ with Emma? Not likely! The mayor couldn't even stand the sight of Emma and her unmistakable red jacket. Every word they exchanged dripped with hatred topped with venom. There was no love, no tenderness, and definitely no room for any of that to grow. The only things they had in common were Henry and their mutual contempt for each other.

But Ruby was Ruby. She couldn't help her curiosity, and she couldn't stand leaving it un-sated. So when Henry walked in early that morning before the start of school with Mary Margaret in tow, she acted on her instincts.

"Henry! Why don't you come and sit at the counter here!" She patted a spot in front of one of the stools, smiling widely at the boy.

"I see someone's awake," Mary Margaret yawned.

"Coffee?" The woman nodded a 'yes.' "Oh, Henry, I've got something that I want to talk to you about."

"Really? What is it?"

"Well," she said sliding a hot cup of joe in front of the teacher. "It's kind of a secret," she said with as much mystery as possible. She also turned her eyes to the other woman, trying to convey a message.

"Ruby..." Mary Margaret said with warning.

"Don't worry, it's nothing inappropriate."

"I guess I'll go fix my hair then," she responded, plucking the coffee off of the counter to take to the bathroom with her.

"What was that all about?" Henry eyed her curiously.

"Okay, so you know all that stuff you told me that Dr Whale told you yesterday?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I've come up with some theories. But," she said, trying to hold back his excitement. "I don't have anything solid yet. So, I'm not going to tell you until I have some more proof, 'kay?"

"Can't you give me a clue?"

"It might have something to do with your mom's True Love."

The boy's whole face lit up like all of Christmas in one glowing expression. "Seriously?! Do you know who he is! Now you've _got_ to tell me more!"

"No, I don't. I don't really know who it is. I've got more digging to do."

"You'll tell me when you find out more, right?"

"Duh!"

"Oh! Can we give it a code name? Like Operation Love?"

Ruby wrinkled her nose. "Nah, too obvious anyway."

"Operation Kiss?"

"Nah, still too obvious. Oh! I know! How about Operation Brush?"

Henry looked at her like she went crazy. "Operation Brush? Why Brush?"

"Well, 'cause a brush is kinda like a light kiss, like a peck. But the word is innocent enough that others won't be able to figure out what we're up to." She winked at him.

"Hey, that's pretty good. Okay, Operation Brush it is. I'm going to get Ms Blanchard."

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Ruby sauntered on into Moe French's flower shop. It was cute little place, but the assault on the girl's sensitive nose threatened to give her an instant headache. The florist looked up from a binder he was leafing through.

"Afternoon, Ruby. Can I help you?"

"I hope so. I'd like to ask you about some flowers you might have sold recently?"

He slumped a little, looking slightly exasperated. "Look, I'm sorry that not every single bloom is completely fresh! I can't personally inspect all of 'em. If you're looking for a refund-"

"I'm not," she said simply.

"Oh...My apologies, I just uh... Anyway, how can I help you?"

"Did someone buy a bouquet of red roses with one sunflower in the center?"

"Can't say that I have. And I've had no requests for anything like that either. Someone place an order that didn't get through?"

"Nah. That's all that I needed. Have a good day!"

If it was Regina, she wouldn't have left a trail that easy to follow. The mayor did have a decent talent with plants. She probably cut those flowers from her own garden. The silly thought of looking through to see if she could find freshly-severed stems filtered through her brain. _That_ was the worst idea she had all day. Trespassing, especially on the mayor's property, wouldn't be a very good plan at all. Maybe she could have Henry do it? That would give away too much.

Time to have a look at those flowers herself. She immediately set out for the hospital. When she arrived in the small waiting area outside of Emma's tiny room, she saw David sitting in the chair, puzzling over the newspaper crossword. He looked up at her approach and smiled.

"David. I thought you were working at the animal shelter?"

"I have the afternoon off."

"Keeping our sheriff company then?"

"It would seem so. Mary Margaret says that Henry doesn't want her left alone. I'm just doing my part, for him."

"Uh-huh, suuure you are," she teased, knowing that he was really doing it for the teacher he was so fond of. "Listen, can I have a moment with Emma? Like, total privacy?"

"Sure, no problem." He stood up and walked away. He was always so kind and obliging.

Ruby entered the space, walking over to the blonde first. "Look, I don't know what's going on right now, but for Henry's sake, I'm going to figure it out, Em. I promise." She set her hand on top of the sheriff's, but withdrew it quickly. She forgot just how cold it was, and it made her skin crawl.

Coming back to her task at hand, she walked over to the table with all of the cards, gifts and bouquets. It took zero time to locate the one she was seeking. Though smaller than all the other pieces, it stood out. Mary Margaret was right; whoever picked out that ensemble _did_ have good taste. Someone like Regina? The woman who always looked sharp and had a house decorated so perfectly that it would make Martha Stewart cry.

She stuck her nose in the blooms. It was definitely the same smell as what clung to the mayor. She found that not all roses carried the same scent, and this one was unusually strong. She ran her nose along the length of the stems, hoping to catch a hint of perfume or lotion that might have stayed behind. Nothing.

So, the flowers were kind of a bust. Ruby had one more plan in mind. She was going to see if anyone came by late that night. However, this time, she wasn't going to be caught in the waiting area. This time, Ruby was going to wait in the back corner of the room, like a wolf stalking its prey.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

She felt absolutely ridiculous. She had dressed herself all in black to 'look more stealthy.' She looked more like a robber than a ninja. Things like that never stopped her, though. She crept into the room at about 1:30 in the morning.

Why was she sneaking? No one was there. Maybe it was the ridiculous outfit in combination with her plan that made her feel more like she was in a bad movie. Acting like she was a super-spy of some kind helped keep her already-tired mind active. She hid in the corner, sliding her back down the wall until she hit the floor. No point in standing the whole time. Dr Whale said these weird blips in Emma's brain didn't usually start until 2:30 anyway.

She sat, and waited. The lights were dim, and the steady beat of the heart monitor became oddly soothing. Ruby had been standing all day, and sleuthing was hard work. Her brain was tired from milling around all those theories and not getting enough sleep the night before. Her eyelids felt an awful lot like lead. The dark was like a warm, soothing blanket, and it became a little too irresistible.

A soft clicking tugged at the edge of her consciousness. Then, the delicate, rhythmic tapping of heels that she knew too well began invading her dream about racing through the woods. Her butt ached and it felt like her foot had fallen asleep. Ruby's eyes snapped open, remembering where she was and why she was there.

Her vision adjusted to the dim light, and she saw a figure standing over Emma. It was a figure that Ruby would know anywhere. The woman was thin, taller than she appeared thanks to her stilettos, and the short, mussed locks of hair framing her head. The velvety, yet spicy aroma of apples flowed throughout the stuffy hospital air.

Regina Mills was standing beside Emma's bed. Ruby remained completely still, ignoring the protests of her sore, cold rear. Revealing her presence right away would do no good. She needed to see what the mayor was up to.

The older woman stood there, almost like statue and stared down at the blonde below her. She didn't move. She didn't speak. She stood, gazing for what felt like an eternity. Then, as though someone had flipped a switch, the mayor set down her purse and lowered herself into the chair next to the bed. Ruby held her breath, waiting so see what would follow.

Regina slowly, tenderly picked up Emma's hand and placed it between her own, wincing at the cold. And then Ruby heard it. The steady beating of Emma's heart jumped, almost doubling in speed. Her eyes widened. What did _that_ even mean? She chose to remain hidden.

Regina rose from her chair after holding the sheriff's hand for a long time. When she let go, the blonde's heart rate slowed again. The waitress expected the other woman to move to the opposite side of the bed and give the same treatment to Emma's neglected hand, but that's not what happened.

Regina's delicate hand rose to cup Emma's face. What Ruby saw next shocked her more than the entire scenario did already. A thin thumb moved to run over the sheriff's lips, as one would do to a lover. The moment her finger came in contact with those lips, the other woman's heart monitor started pulsing even faster than before, and Ruby couldn't stop the very audible gasp that tumbled from her own mouth.


	8. Caught!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is caught!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of a short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! I know I had a lot of fun writing it! Comment and let me know what y'all think!

The mayor didn't know what had come over her lately. She had been acting very decidedly _not_ -Regina. She liked to blame it on her now-perpetual exhaustion, but that wasn't a very good excuse, especially considering the fact that there was a very specific reason for her tiredness, and she foolishly did nothing to fight against it either.

She thought she had been acting irrational before, setting alarms to remind her to go to the hospital to see the blonde she loathed so much, but the flowers... Even that surprised her. She clipped them from her own bushes on a whim.

At first, Regina planned to just stick with the roses alone, but the small sunflower caught her eye. It caused her to stumble upon a rather startling truth: seeing Emma was the only bright spot in her day. It became the moment she anticipated every moment of every hour. The rest of her life was tiresome, boring and full of scathing looks from everyone in the town.

Her life got interesting when that infuriating woman rolled into town after decades of monotony. Yes, she fought against it tooth and nail, but it made her feel alive. It made her heart race with fiery anger, and she loved the way she could triumph over the blonde even in the simplest of verbal battles.

Now that Emma was under the Sleeping Curse, Regina found the woman to be the only person in town who demanded nothing of her. She didn't lodge irritating, pointless complaints. She didn't shoot the mayor withering looks of dislike. She didn't even pressure Regina into talking about her day, and she found that surprisingly therapeutic.

It was more than just the escape from her monotonous life that she found herself suddenly addicted to; it was the strange things that happened when she was close to the Savior that pulled her in. Regina loved the way that Emma's heart jumped at her touch, and her own mirrored that response. She reveled in the heat that seemed to pool only in the blonde's lips, and the brunette particularly enjoyed the way the sheriff's fingers fluttered against her own.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

Something was poking her hard in the brain. She groaned, trying to block it out, but the incessant disturbance was getting louder. She grumbled again, pulling the sheets up around her shoulders. _Beep beep beep...Beep beep beep!_ She flung her arm out, slapping the top of the clock and missing the snooze button. She cursed, fumbled, and pressed the damned thing.

Was it 2 already? It felt like she had only just climbed into bed a few minutes ago. The temptation to snuggle further into her giant, warm, soft comforter and actually sleeping through the night made a strong case in her mind. But as her first thought of Emma swam through her foggy brain, she became terribly aware of how empty her bed was.

It was too quiet, and her restless brain buzzed into life. She cursed at her inability to switch off. Conceding her defeat, she threw the covers off of her, the chilly air pressing in on her thin satin nightgown. Shivering, she set about readying herself, throwing on some slacks and a plain button-down shirt. She only tamed her hair, not bothering with makeup, considering the state of her company.

The air outside was even chillier. Why the Curse put them in Maine, she had no idea, but the misty breath swirling from her lips constantly reminded her of the cold sting beginning to touch her cheeks. She was used to walking to the hospital, trying to shake her weariness, but the brunette wished that she had taken her car that night.

She used to pause outside of the building, trying to rationalize her ridiculous behavior, but the mayor had done this trip so many times that there was no hesitancy. She was cold and wanted to see her little spot of sunshine. Did she just think that? Too chilly to bother kicking herself for that bit of foolishness, she strode on into the warmer confines of the hospital.

The brunette had also abandoned her pause outside of Emma's room. She let herself in without thinking, moving to stand close to the bed. She wanted to grab the Savior's hand immediately, but she herself was still shaking off the night chill, and it was her job to warm Emma's hands. So she stood, drinking in the almost peaceful look of the other woman. She found herself feeling slightly envious, but quickly shook off the notion that the blonde was in a better place than she.

Once Regina felt properly warmed, she set down the purse dangling off of her arm and sank into the chair. She reached out, lifting the motionless hand between her own, wincing at the cold that still blanketed the blonde like Death in waiting.

She heard the familiar increase in tempo from the machine nearby, and her heart did its own little flutter at the way those cold fingers feebly grasped at her own. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She rubbed her palms in large, slow circles, restoring circulation to Emma's digits. Once their temperature matched her own, she felt their mingled heat pulling all of her stress from her. The mayor sighed contentedly.

She looked at the Savior's vacant face, feeling oddly too far away from it. She stood, leaning low over the still body. If there was one thing she missed about Emma, it was her eyes. Her emerald pools always sparkled with mischief, or flashed dangerously at Regina's latest threat. They betrayed the blonde's emotions at every turn, and it made her so easy for the mayor to read.

She brought her hand up to cup the pale cheek, trying to bleed some her warmth into it. Her dark eyes fell to silent, unparted lips, desiring to steal some of their heat that she knew was roiling beneath the delicate flesh. She skated her thumb across them, hearing Emma's heart begin to gallop inside her chest.

Regina was about to reach for some lip balm in her purse, noticing how chapped Emma's were from neglect, when a distinct sound from the darkened corner of the room reached her ears. It could only have been the sound of a gasp.

Regina's temper and fear rose like a dragon, banishing any of the relaxation she had found moments ago. She wheeled around, eyes blazing, to seek out the owner of the gasp. She saw a dark figure lurking on the floor, clearly seeking an escape that wasn't there.

Too angry for words, the Queen charged over to the fool spying on her, grabbed the person by the front of their shirt and hoisted them up off of the floor. Her eyes found the panicked ones of none other than Ruby Lucas. The urge to rip the bitch's heart out gripped her so ferociously, that Regina forcefully threw the girl into the wall.

"Do you have a death wish?" Her voice was like frozen acid, lashing out at the foolish girl.

"M-Mayor Mills! I uh..."

"Explain yourself. _Immediately._ " Her voice remained calm, an effect she knew to be far more unnerving than screams and shouts.

"R-Roses... Dr Whale said... You were tired... I just followed..." The girl was making no sense

"What the hell are you talking about, girl?"

Ruby's eyes darted around, and she looked to be on the verge of collapsing. That made Regina happy. "Henry told me what Dr Whale said. He told him Emma had increased brain activity late at night. Someone left roses in the vase that's for Henry's use only, and you smelled like roses!" Curse that bloody wolf, and how the hell did those extra-sharp senses of hers transfer to this world? "You were tired. I put some pieces together, and followed the trail. Mayor Mills, _I am so sorry!_ "

"Does Henry know?"

"What?"

"Henry, does he know I've been coming here." There was no point in pretending now. The cat had leapt from the bag, and all Regina could do was try to fix the new problem in front of her.

"Not that I know of. He's still looking for Emma's True Love or something. He thinks that's who left the flowers. No offense, but you don't leap to his mind as his birth mother's True Love. Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she added after the look that the older woman shot her.

"Is this going to be a problem?"

"What?"

"Clean your ears, you twit. Is this going to be a problem? Do I have to be worried about you and your loose lips?"

Ruby had regained enough of her footing to look offended at the insult flung her way, but told the woman towering over her that she wouldn't be an issue.

"Good. You will speak of this to no one. Not your grandmother. Not your patrons. And _especially_ not my son." Regina stepped aside to allow the asinine girl to flee, as she so desperately wanted to. Once the sound of the door clicking shut crashed through the room, the mayor wrapped her arms around her middle, almost doubling over from shock.

That did not just happen. Of all people to catch her in Emma's room, touching those lips, it had to be moronic waitress that couldn't keep her mouth - or legs - shut. She was officially screwed. Taking deep, raspy breaths, Regina slowly regained her composure.

She _did_ just scare the wits out of that stupid wolf. If she was lucky, Ruby would actually keep her mouth shut. She was actually kind of fortunate that the girl was so easily intimidated by her rank and overall presence. If it had been Gold lurking in the shadows.... Regina shuddered at the thought. She would just have to lay low for a little while.

She was about to leave when something stopped her. She turned to the motionless woman in the bed behind her. Her feet carried her to Emma's side, once again stopping to drink in the eerily-serene Savior before her. Without thinking, Regina's hand came out to stroke down the other woman's cold cheek. Something in her chest clenched at the sound of Emma's elevated heart rate that she was going to miss so much.

"I have to stay away for a few days. I'm sorry that I won't be there to warm your hands. I am...sorry, Emma. For everything. I just wanted to keep my son. I want to be better for him, but I guess it's my job to let him down." There was a long pause. "I will come back to you. I won't leave you, not like your parents. Not this time."

What surprised the brunette more than that speech already did was when she bent over, placing a gentle kiss to the blonde's forehead. The monitor's beeping went suddenly erratic before settling into its usual tempo. "Goodnight...Emma." she whispered tenderly into her ear.


	9. He said Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out, and Henry rises to the occasion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay for this next update. It's been crazy, and I didn't even know what I wanted to do with this chapter. I hope you're as satisfied as I am! Thanks again for all of the Kudos, comments and views! Keep 'em coming!

Ruby tenderly rubbed the bruise on the back of her head from where it hit the wall. She knew the mayor was a powerful person, but she had never known her to physically display that command. It terrified her, being tossed around like some ragdoll.

She rubbed her tired eyes, suddenly knowing just how exhausted Regina was after staying up night after night just to see Emma. What was that all about anyway? Out of all of the events that happened the previous night, Regina secretly visiting the sheriff to hold her hand was even more surprising than the brunette losing her cool and chucking Ruby around.

What was Regina playing at? What was her angle? It was no secret that the two women hated each other, and were constantly battling over their son. More often than not, he was caught in the crossfire between the two, and Ruby hated seeing the pain in his eyes.

In fact, that was really the only reason why she decided to play along with Operation Brush. The look of hope shining on his face made it impossible not to indulge him. Since Emma's misfortune, the boy sulked and scowled in a manner not unlike that of his adoptive mother.

But Ruby was a fool. She knew she was setting him up for disappointment. There was no way she could tell him about what she saw last night. There was already too much tension surrounding the troubled trio. This news could destroy him.

The little bell over the door tinkled merrily, breaking her from her swirling thoughts. Of course Henry skipped in, looking more chipper than she had seen him in weeks. He hopped up onto one of the stools at the counter, grinning like crazy.

"Hey Ruby!"

"What's up, Henry? Where's Mary Margaret at?"

"I wanted to walk to school by myself today." The knowing look he gave her made her stomach squirm. She knew exactly what he wanted to discuss without the teacher there.

"How is Operation Brush? Find out anything new?"

"Listen, Kiddo. I know how much this means to you, but I think we're going to have to shut down Operation Brush."

His smile faltered. "What? But it only just started!"

"I know, but... It's complicated. You wouldn't understand, and I don't even understand-"

"You found out something! You have to tell me! Please?"

"Henry..."

"Oh, so you get to know something about _my mom_ , which, in case you didn't notice, is cursed right now!" He was scowling at her, all of his joy completely gone.

"It's not that simple, Henry. I wish it were, but this is way more messed up than-"

"Messed up? What happened, Ruby," Henry practically growled. He fixed her with an unblinking stare, and she felt herself breaking.

"Regina was there last night," she hissed.

"...What?"

"I'm not kidding, Henry."

"Was she trying to hurt her? I know she's the one who cursed her! Was she poisoning her? Messing with her IV or something?"

"Not really. She was..."

"Yeah?"

"She. Well, Regina was holding Emma's hand." Henry's jaw practically hit the floor. "Yeah. And when she did, that's when Emma's heart rate jumped. And then Regina was touching Emma's face! Not in a mean way. It was really...gentle. And then Emma's heart went crazy when Regina touched her lips."

"WHAT?" Ruby jumped at his exclamation.

"I told you it was messed up, Kiddo."

"I gotta see someone. Thanks, Ruby!"

"Hey, don't you have school?"

"Call Ms Blanchard and tell her that I got diarrhea or something!" He dashed out of the diner.

 

                                                     ~*~

 

He hurried through the door to the stuffy little pawnshop, the ringing bell sounding much more ominous than the one over Granny's entrance. He peered through the gloom, looking for Gold. He approached the counter at the back quietly, always feeling like he shouldn't make noise, as if he was in a library.

The man he sought stepped out of his back room, looking at Henry with polite surprise. "Hello there, Henry. Can I help you with something?"

"It's about my mom. Emma, I mean."

"Yes. Such a terrible thing. I see she hasn't woken up yet."

"You told me that the only thing that could wake her up is True Love's Kiss."

"Indeed. That hasn't changed."

"I've been looking for her True Love."

"So I've heard. It would seem that Miss Swan has unknowingly kissed every bachelor in town."

Henry flushed at that comment. "Yeah. Not sure how I'm going to explain that to her when she wakes up." They both chuckled. "That's what I wanted to ask you. Emma's True Love isn't a man, is it?"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to figure that out." Gold's eyes sparkled with mischief.

Henry's mouth gaped. "My mom loves a _woman?_ "

"I daresay she does, Henry."

"But... Who?"

"I think you already know the answer to that question as well." His tone was even, pleasant and his knowing smirk never left his thin lips.

"But, they hate each other!"

"Look how often that brings people together. Remember the tale of Beauty and the Beast? Dear Belle had no fondness for Beast in the beginning. Yet, love still blossomed between the two, despite their differences."

"Yeah, but Belle didn't hate Beast. She resented him."

"Even so, Henry. Now, if I am not mistaken, you're very late for school. Off with you."

"Thanks, Mr Gold."

"It was my pleasure."

He left the shop, definitely not heading for the school. He dialed Ms Blanchard's number from one of the hospital phones. Her panicked voice crackled through the receiver.

"Henry? Where are you? Are you okay? Ruby said you got an upset stomach!"

"I'm okay, Ms Blanchard. I swear. I did get a stomachache, and after I _really_ wanted to see Emma." He put as much sorrow into his voice as he could, knowing that the poor woman wouldn't be able to refuse him. "I miss her so much. I needed to be with my mom. Especially when my tummy doesn't feel good..."

A pained sigh came from the phone. "Okay. But you can't make a habit of this. Do you understand, Henry? Will you be able to get back to the apartment okay?"

"I'll be fine. Thanks, Ms Blanchard!" He hung up the phone and walked straight to Emma's room. Leroy was sitting next to the blonde, snoring in his deep sleep. Some watchman he was. The sight made Henry giggle, especially the little strand of saliva slowly making its way down the scruffy man's beard.

"Leroy?" Henry tentatively poked him in the arm.

"Mph!"

"Wake up, Leroy!"

The man opened his bloodshot eyes, looking down at the boy as if he had only just seen him for the first time. "Henry?"

"Hey!"

"Henry? What're you doin' here, kid?"

"I wanted to see my mom. Mind if you give us a little privacy?"

Leroy mumbled a tired consent, getting up and tottering out of the room. He plopped down into one of the chairs in the little waiting area and fell back to sleep immediately. Henry grasped one of Emma's hands, cringing at its coldness. He remembered what Ruby said, and listened to see if there was a change in the tempo of his mother's heart. There wasn't. It stayed constant. He knew what he needed to do.

"Emma? It's Henry. I'm sorry you've been stuck like this for so long. It's my fault. I was looking for your True Love in all the wrong places, and I'm _really_ sorry about making all of those guys kiss you.

"How come you didn't tell me that you liked my mom? Don't you see? It makes sense! You're the Savior! You're supposed to break the Curse and abolish Evil. I just didn't think you'd end up doing it that way.

"I'm gonna make this right for you. For us. For Mom. I'll never stop believing in you, Emma. I'm gonna fix this. I'm not sure how, just yet, but I will. I promise. I love you, Emma." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and set off for his next destination: The City Hall. Regina's office.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

The boy burst through the double doors to the mayor's office. He always had a flare for the dramatic, something he definitely got from his adoptive moher. Regina's head snapped up off of the desk, looking startled and trying to identify the intruder.

Her eyes widened when she saw her son standing in the doorway, looking determined. She felt her heart break a little more, knowing that he was going to start yelling at her again. But when she looked at Henry a little closer, she saw a different kind of determination in his hazel eyes.

"Henry? What on earth are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?" She rushed from the desk, kneeling down in front of the boy. She placed her hand on his tousseled hair, and he didn't shove it away.

"You've got to kiss her!"

The little bubble of happiness that had inflated in her chest shrunk a little bit. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I know you're scared! I know why you cursed her, but Gold told me that only True Love's Kiss can wake her up!" Regina's expression soured at the mention of that man.

"You shouldn't be listening to anything that man says."

"It doesn't matter. I was looking for her True Love in all the men. It isn't a man she loves!"

"Henry, what are you talking about?"

"You're her True Love, Mom!" Regina's heart burst, tears pricking her eyes immediately when he called her 'Mom.' "Don't you see? You're the only one who can wake her up! You've got to kiss her!"

"Henry..."

"No excuses! I know you might be the Evil Queen, but don't you see? Why doesn't anyone see what's so obvious? Emma's the Savior. It's her destiny to break the Curse and defeat the Queen." Regina could only mouth wordlessly at all that came tumbling from the boy's mouth. The worst part was that she understood precisely what he was talking about.

"I thought it meant you two were supposed to have some kind of epic battle. But now I see it. She's the product of True Love. She defeats Evil by destroying the Evil in you _with love_."

"Henry, please."

"No! No more pretending, Mom! Look at me and tell me the truth!"

Regina looked straight into the hardened eyes urging her to come clean about her feelings. She was prepared to deny it until the world ended, but he kept calling her Mom.

"Everything will change with us if you kiss her! Do you realize what we could have?"

"What's that Henry?"

"A _family_."

Regina's heart leapt to her throat. His expression was still hard and determined, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. That little smirk of his flooded her with a courage she hadn't felt in decades.

She took a deep breath, willing her jangling nerves to steady. "You...you're right, Henry. I do...like Ms Swan. But I wouldn't go so far as to call it love."

"But think of what happens when you hold Emma's hands! I know you know she reacts to you, and only you, Mom."

"That stupid girl couldn't keep her mouth shut, could she," Regina grumbled referring to Ruby's intrusion the night before.

"She didn't want to tell. I made her. Look, when I hold her hand, when anyone else does, she stays the same. Nothing changes. But when you touch her... I know you feel it."

"That doesn't mean love, Henry."

"Will you please try?" They stared at each other, his beseeching look totally disarming the mayor. Then he said the words he knew she wouldn't be able to deny, "For me?"

Regina sighed in defeat. "I will...think about it. No promises."

"Thanks so much, Mom!" He threw his arms around her, and she quickly moved to pull him into a rib-cracking embrace. She wished the hug would never end, but he pulled away.

"I have to go, but thanks again. I _know_ this will work!" He started to walk away.

"Henry?" Regina called after him. He turned to look at her. "I've missed you." Tears splashed down her pale, tired face.

His mouth split into a shy grin. "I missed you too."


	10. Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina almost puts aside her fear of love, until his face stops her in her tracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another kinda short chapter, but I have a feeling you'll enjoy this one (or hate me for what I did at the end...) Have fun guys!

Regina paced around her house like an agitated cat. The last time she felt so conflicted was when she was trying to decide if casting the Curse was worth killing her father for. Considering where she was standing at the moment, the answer to that query was fairly obvious. She didn't want to think about what it said about who she was anymore. The woman shook herself, refocusing her turbulent mind on the issues currently plaguing her.

On the one hand, she was completely elated. Henry had called her mom, and even better, he didn't care one bit that she liked another woman. Regina had been more than hateful in her day, but she never taught her son to be so. She allowed a moment of pride to wash over her. Henry may have resented the ways she went about it, but Regina was a good mother.

It also felt surprisingly good to admit her feelings. It was true; she did hold romantic affections for the Savior. She smirked, imagining what Snow and Charming would look if they found out that the Evil Queen was romantically involved with their precious daughter. But love? She had vowed never to love again. Not since... Regina swallowed hard.

On the other hand, she was afraid, terrified really. It was one thing to admit to the feelings that she was having, but acting on them was on a completely different level. The look in Henry's shining face made her want to believe that she could follow through with the things she said. However, she was back in her big, empty, echoing mansion, and her nerve was failing. She privately loved holding Emma's hand, and touching her face, but she felt like an ice cube was slithering down her throat when she thought of kissing the woman. Yet, Regina seemed to think about kissing the Savior a lot these days, and the idea that she was losing herself petrified the brunette.

She found herself in the lounge and made a beeline for the bar. She poured a rather deep glass of scotch, taking a huge gulp to chase away the cold her house dripped with. She coughed, forgetting just how bad she was at chugging liquor. Regina Mills was a woman of class, and that meant sipping.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the subtle tremors wracking her nervous body. The brunette took a deep breath and counted to ten. Counting always made her feel better. Numbers made sense. Words were abstract and convoluted, always rife with double standards and loopholes. Numbers were set. They were honest and never lied.

When she and the rest of the residents of the Enchanted forest appeared in Storybrooke, Regina discovered so many different things about the new world she found herself in. As a royal, there was no need to know how to cook, to clean, but she found that she rather loved learning how to prepare the different cuisines from around their new world. Driving a car made her giddy, and the clothing worn in this realm was...different. She knew some mathematics from her early lessons and running her kingdom, but this place had even more to offer. She drank it up, finding the formulas and guaranteed solutions calming.

Regina continued to hold her eyes shut. She sipped slowly, trying to rebuild the dam that contained her emotions. She felt raw and exposed in all of the still air around her. _Tick...tick...tick..._ She focused on the only sound piercing the silence. _Tick...tick...tick..._

Her eyes opened. She slowly turned her head to the right, looking over her shoulder and at the wall. _Tick...tick...tick..._ The clock moved at its carefully measured pace, looking innocent. _Tick...tick...tick..._

It was 11:47 in the evening. Normally, Regina would have been collapsed in bed, trying to get a few hours of rest under her belt before seeing Emma. Sleeping was easy for her. It meant that she didn't have to wrestle with all of the emotions warring within her. She could close her eyes and just dream.

The incessant nightmares about the stable boy had almost completely disappeared. When she sunk into her dreams, emerald eyes, crinkled by a soft smile, greeted her. A hand was extended toward her, soft and beckoning. Her own fingers found warm ones, and they pulled her close. The brunette was breathing the sweet, intoxicating air of the woman who was entirely too close to her. She felt strong arms and a tall body keep her safe from...everything. _Tick...tick...tick..._

Regina noticed that her glass was empty, not having noticed consuming all of the rough drink. She immediately reached for the crystal decanter and poured herself another equally-deep amount. The mayor knew she was going to regret drinking so much the next day, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Alcohol was the only thing that drowned out the cacophony of incomprehensible thoughts and emotions causing a dull throb in her temple. She walked to one of the chairs, noticing how fuzzy her head felt, and the way her feet wouldn't quite cooperate.

Regina scowled at the clock, as though it was purposefully mocking her. The woman closed her eyes once more, trying to shut out the loneliness of the manor. She kicked off her pumps, noticing how achy her feet were. She let her head fall back, tired of always holding herself up. A light breeze was toying with the curled tips of her hair.

When the mayor opened her eyes. She was standing in the woods. Henry was facing her, and tears were streaming down his blotchy cheeks. He was next to Emma, who was sprawled across the forest floor. Her eyes were open, unfocused, and not blinking.

"Mom?"

"Henry!" she cried, choking on her own tears.

"You did this!"

"I didn't want it to be this way."

"Why, Mom? Why?" He looked so worn and defeated.

"I'm so s-sorry! I couldn't...I was afraid, Henry. I...I _am_ afraid."

"You did this. Now, it's time for you to fix this."

"How? I can't. I don't have the power. I'm t-too weak."

"You know what you need to do," he said softly.

"I c-can't do that. I'm so scared."

"She's waiting for you!"

"No she's not! Look at her, Henry! Look! SHE'S DEAD!" Regina clapped her hands to her mouth. Something shattered nearby.

The brunette's head jerked upward, her eyes snapping open just as a little shriek escaped her throat. Apparently, when she covered her mouth in her dream her hand had actually jerked of its own accord, flinging the loosely-gripped tumbler to the floor. _Tick...tick...tick..._ It was almost 2:45am. She flung herself from the chair, abandoning the broken mess on the ground.

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Regina's keys were still clenched in her fist as she half-ran down the hall to Emma's room. The image of the Savior's blank, unseeing eyes still pressed itself in on the backs of her own frantic ones. She had no logical reason to believe that anything had changed, but the dream had thoroughly shaken her.

The mayor crashed through the door, not stopping until she was leaning over the hospital bed, peering at the object of her nightmare. The blonde's face was still blissfully impassive, her eyes shut, looking like she was peacefully asleep. The steady beeping of Emma's heart monitor made Regina nervously laugh at her own foolishness.

She shut her eyes again, counting to ten with the pace of the sheriff's heart. The nightmare was simply a manifestation of her guilt and fear. Back in the Enchanted Forest, a dream like that would have more likely been a foresight or warning, and she still found herself clinging to those instincts.

"What are you doing to me, Emma? What are we? You, you're the Savior. You're all that's good. I'm the Evil Queen. I'm the essence of Darkness; though, Gold could give me a run for my money," she muttered under her breath. "How would we be good for each other? I can only bring hurt to you; it's all I know. I'll just end up tainting you. You shouldn't want me. Not ever."

Regina took Emma's chilly fingers in her own. "It's funny, isn't it?" she said to the unconscious woman. "You're supposed to be good. You're supposed to save everyone...maybe even me. You should be bringing light and warmth to all of the corners of our lives, and yet here you are, cold as death. Ironic. I'm the one that's Evil, but I'm warming you up." She squeezed the blonde's hand a little tighter, hearing the responding jump in heart rate.

"If I could, Emma Swan, I would keep you warm constantly." Her heart clenched, feeling those cold fingers flick against her own. It felt like the blonde was giving permission to the brunette, telling her to come closer.

Regina climbed onto the bed without hesitation. She draped herself over the motionless body beneath her, shuddering at how devoid the blankets were of heat. She cupped Emma's face, pulling the heavy head underneath her chin. The beating of the Savior's heart went haywire, tugging the corners of Regina's lips up into an affectionate smile.

She didn't know how long she stayed like that, holding the other woman against her. She absent-mindedly ran her fingers through long, thick curls. Her breathing matched Emma's, deep and slow. Everything felt right. Almost everything. She longed to feel the other woman's arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her close and secure.

She turned her sleepy eyes down to the Savior's face, placing her hand against a cold cheek. Again, she ran her fingers over those oddly-hot lips, noticing how her own felt kind of chilly. They felt...bare.

She shifted herself above the blonde, leaning down, almost brushing her lips against Emma's. Even in that slight distance between them, Regina could feel that heat pressing along her lips, urging her forward. Her mouth was dry, and a burning desire in her stomach was screaming at her to place her lips flush against the blonde's.

Regina was about lower herself just a little further when a face exploded behind her eyes. Daniel was staring at her, smiling, holding her and leaning in for one of those earth-shattering kisses he gave only to the young princess. She choked, tumbling off of the bed, as fresh tears betrayed her, and Regina Mills ran.


	11. Not worthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry finds Regina, and she becomes even more honest with herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit intense, but I think you'll all enjoy it. Don't worry, guys! The Kiss is coming! I swear! Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!

Henry was walking back from school without Mary Margaret, because he insisted on having some time to himself. That little bubble of hope that formed in his chest when Mr Gold told him that Emma could be saved swelled into a fiercely-burning flame after his conversation with Regina. He did as he had promised to Emma: He found her True Love. Now, all he had to do was get his adoptive mother to act on it.

She told him she would think about it, and Henry desperately wanted to believe that she truly would; however, he could see the doubt in her eyes. He knew why; he had read the book. He knew about her first love and the way that Snow had betrayed Regina. He knew how cruel Cora was in killing the Stable Boy in front of her daughter. Henry couldn't fathom that kind of loss, having never felt it before, but he was able to understand how it would prevent someone from letting others in.

It was why Regina hadn't done so for many, many years. She thought Daniel was the only light in her life, and when his glow was extinguished, she didn't just sink into the darkness. The young Queen threw herself forcefully into it. She used that blackness to build the strongest of walls around her heart. Never again would she be betrayed by Love. It just hurt too much.

So when Henry decided to stop by the hospital on his way home, the presence of Regina's Mercedes in the parking lot immediately caught his attention. It was the middle of the day, and he knew that the private brunette only ever visited Emma in the dead of night. Maybe she was starting to embrace her feelings, just like she had promised to Henry. Maybe, just maybe, she was thinking about kissing Emma as he walked. If Henry could be there, he might be able to discourage her from chickening out, but why would she? Emma was her True Love after all. He broke into a run.

After bodily slamming through the glass door, Henry saw a brunette sitting beside his mother. Ruby looked up, startled by Henry's frantic arrival. She looked even more confused when his hopeful smile slid into a crestfallen frown.

"Henry? What's up?"

"Have you seen my mom?"

"Wha- Oh! You mean Regina, no. Why?"

"Her car is here. I thought maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"I talked to my mom; she's Emma's True Love! But... She's afraid. Love is..."

"Scary," Ruby finished for him.

"Exactly. I saw her car here, and I thought that may she was here to, you know, kiss Emma."

"I'm sorry, Kiddo. I haven't seen Regina anywhere."

"Can you call her office?"

Ruby quickly dialed the number to the Town Hall. When she asked for the mayor, a little crease appeared between her eyebrows. She said a brief goodbye before hanging up. "Her secretary said that she never came in today. She didn't call or anything."

"Call her cell phone! Here, I know her number." He punched the keys and put the phone to his ear. It rang, and rang, and rang. Finally, the voicemail picked up. That's when Henry knew something was up. No matter what phone he was calling from, Regina had a sixth sense for when it was Henry calling. It must have been a mom thing. She never failed to answer the phone for her beloved son.

"Ruby, something's wrong."

"Don't jump to conclusions, Kiddo."

"I'm serious! We gotta find her! I know you can feel it. I know you can tell that something's not right. C'mon! Let's go!" He turned a left.

Ruby jogged a little to catch up to the boy. "How are we supposed to find her? We don't know where she went, or how long she's been gone for."

"You're gonna find her," he stated simply.

"I don't have a Regina Radar or anything. I'm not-"

"Ruby, I know you can find her, just like you found David in the woods."

"That was different..."

"No, it wasn't. Trust yourself. You just gotta _believe_."

"I..." She saw his hard face. "Will try my best."

 

                                                         ~*~

 

Ruby once again astonished herself with instincts she didn't think she had. As long as she didn't concentrate too much on how bizarre it all was, she was able to hand her mind over to a different part of herself. That part followed signs she didn't even know were there. It guided her feet without hesitance, and the feeling in her gut told her that she was on the right path.

Henry kept unusually silent, and Ruby guessed that he had known to let her do her thing, and not distract her. She thought that they were headed toward the woods, but the young woman knew that wasn't right. They took a turn, going in the direction of the flat, open fields near the edge of town. When they started trudging through high weeds, grasses, and soft ground, she found herself grateful that she chose to wear pants and sneakers instead of her usual short skirt and heels.

"Are we almost there?" Henry questioned after a long time of silence. The sudden sound startled her slightly.

"I...don't know."

"Just listen and feel, Ruby."

She rolled her eyes, but heeded him. That same gut feeling settled into her stomach. "She's out here...in this field. She's here!"

Henry looked across the many acres, bare but for yellowed weeds and tangled, overgrown grass. He should have been able to see her erect figure standing among the scrubby overgrowth, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Something's happened to her! C'mon, we have to find her! She could be hurt!" He tugged the woman's hand, urging her to lead the way.

They barreled into the heart of the open field, expecting to see the mayor at any moment. The longer she remained hidden from view, the more distressed Henry became. His jaw was clenched tight, and his brown eyes were narrowed, searching for his mother.

Ruby halted him, something different catching her. She closed her eyes, trying to feel. The sounds around them hadn't changed. The chirping of the birds, rustling of small rodents, all of it stayed constant. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs as much as she could. That was when she caught it. She breathed in again, trying to sort through the assault on her senses. It smelled like damp earth, decaying plants, horse shit and...something that didn't fit with the earthy smells.

It smelled kind of sweet. It smelled feminine. Underneath that, she caught just the tiniest hint of girl-sweat. She was smelling Regina's perfume. Ruby's eyes snapped open with realization. She spun slowly, trying to discern the direction the scent was coming from.

"What is it?"

"We're so close," she murmured. "Henry, I can smell her. She's close. Just give me a minute." He nodded wordlessly, backing away a few paces. She found the point where the perfume was strongest, heading in its direction, against the wind, without a word to the boy. He followed, not daring to say a word.

It didn't take much longer before a dark mound among the pale grasses came into view. Henry broke into a run, Ruby hot on his tail. Regina was curled up on the ground, unmoving, eyes closed, and her body cold as hell.

"MOM!" Henry rolled her onto her back. He clothes were dirty, torn in a few spots and there were cuts and bruises all over her exposed skin. The boy pressed his ear to her chest, and sighed with relief. He heard her heart fluttering in her chest.

"Is she okay?" Ruby asked, kneeling down next to the unconscious mayor.

"She's alive, if that's what you mean. She needs a doctor; she's really cold! Give me your jacket!"

Ruby immediately shed the garment. She told Henry to try and keep Regina warm while she went for help. Henry wrapped the coat around his mother, taking off his own and draping it over her lower legs and bare feet.

"I'm going to keep you safe, Mom. I don't know what you're doing out here, but I'm here now."

"H-Henry?" The croak from the woman's mouth was so quiet, he wasn't sure he'd heard anything at all.

"Mom?"

"Henry? Where are you?" Her eyes still hadn't opened, but she was trying to lift her arm that was hampered by the coat over her.

"I'm right here!" He held her closer.

The brunette's eyes fluttered open. They were red, puffy, and looked wild. They rolled around in their sockets, flying in frantic circles until they finally focused on the boy's face above hers. The moment she saw her son, tears sprung up, running hot down her skin, stinging in the scratches all over her face.

"Henry... I'm so sorry. I... I tried. I tried," she croaked. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh, don't talk. Ruby's going to get you help. I'm not leaving right now, I promise. I'm here, Mom." She smiled weakly up at him before losing her strength again, closing her eyes, content in her son's lap.

 

                                                       ~*~

 

Regina felt warm and heavy. Exhaustion still coursed through her like poison, and she tried to lift her arm to rub over her eyes, but it seemed to be made of lead. She wanted to pry her eyelids open to try and figure out where she was, but they too were weights much too heavy for her.

She took a deep breath. It smelled sterile. A steady beeping reached her ears. The tiniest of smiles tugged at the corners of her dry lips. She was with Emma. She could hear those heartbeats. If she just rolled over, she could wrap herself around the blonde, and everything would be better.

She lifted her hand, to at least grab Emma's. The sound of her heightened heart rate would soothe all of the aches that were slowly becoming more apparent to the brunette. She groped around, but her hand bumped into a cold little railing. She frowned. She moved the other hand, and it also knocked against the same. She was in her own hospital bed. That new realization made her crack open her heavy lids.

Everything was fuzzy and dark. She rubbed her eyes, blinking them to clear her blurry vision. The room she was in was dark. The blinds were drawn, but she could see light peeking around the edges. She groaned, trying to sit up, but she was relatively unsuccessful in her endeavor.

She peered around a little more, and noticed a small, snoring lump curled up like a cat in a chair beside her bed. She looked a little closer and saw that it was Henry. She smiled, happiness warming her heart.

She leaned over, resting her hand on the boy and giving him a gentle shake. He lifted his head, looking around for the source of disturbance. His eyes fell on his smiling mother, and it took him a moment to realize what he was seeing. His face split into a wide grin, leaping out of the chair to hug her.

"Mom! You're awake!" She let out a soft _Oof!_ when he bent over the railing to give her an awkwardly-placed hug.

"How long was I out?" she croaked.

"Uhhh...Almost two days?"

" _What?_ What happened?"

"I d'know. You were gone, and I had Ruby help me to find you. You were passed out or something in the middle of a field. Does that sound familiar to you?"

Regina frowned, wracking her memory. "No...It doesn't."

"You said something to me. You said you were sorry and that you tried."

"I don't remember..."

"Okay, well I'm gonna dash for a moment, and give you a little time to think about it. I'm gonna get Dr Whale. He has a few things to tell you. Don't go anywhere!"

Regina smiled at his little joke, resting her head back against the pillows. What she wouldn't give for a hot cup of coffee. Everything felt achy, her muscles, her head, her...feet? She noticed the deep throbbing aches in her feet. When the brunette attempted to wiggle them around a bit, she winced, hissing in pain. Something was definitely wrong with them. That was probably one of the things Whale had to talk about with her.

As if on cue, the doctor knocked lightly on the door before entering, Henry following closely. He wore a polite smile, flipping through the pages on the clipboard clenched in his hand.

"Good morning, Madame Mayor. Glad to see you're awake."

"Wish I felt that way," she sighed, foregoing her usual curt banter. "So, what's the damage?"

"When you arrived, you were unconscious, slightly hypothermic, and a little dehydrated. Your boy here did his best to keep you warm while Miss Lucas got aid. That was easy to take care of, but the physical damage to your body was another story."

"Physical damage?"

"I don't know what was happening with you, Madame Mayor, but you were wandering around for God knows how long completely barefoot. The scrapes and bruises on the rest of your body will heal just fine, but your feet..."

"Yes?"

"We had to do some minor surgery. Just stitches, after extracting some small debris from the wounds, but you'll be off of your feet for a couple of weeks."

"Great. That's just fantastic. Anything else?" Her annoyance came through as a mask for how upset and disturbed she felt.

"I faxed a prescription for Vicodin to the pharmacy. That should help with any pain or discomfort you experience. And you'll need to apply a disinfecting ointment to your stitches twice daily, and come in twice this week so we can monitor your initial healing process."

"How much longer do I have to be hospitalized for?"

"Just for the remainder of the day. We can discharge you this afternoon if you're feeling up to it."

"Good. I'm hungry."

"I'll have a nurse bring you some breakfast right away, Madame Mayor." He nodded and left.

"Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you do a favor for me?"

"Sure!"

"Would you..." She glanced at the wheelchair placed nearby. "Wheel me," she cringed at that word. "To Emma's room?"

"Are you gonna kiss her?"

"Henry..."

"Sorry, I just, uh... Have you been thinking about it, like you promised?"

Regina stared down at her eager son. "Yes, I have been thinking about it. I won't say any more on the matter. Come on, help me into the wheelchair."

Henry pushed his mother down the hallways toward his other mother's room. Regina wasn't quite so used to the building being so alive. She was used to the dead quiet of the place as she slunk her way to the Savior's room. Henry hummed happily behind her, and his renewed joy was oddly infectious. She felt the weight of her current condition lessen lightly.

He pushed her through the glass door, parking her right beside Emma's bed. Regina leaned over and whispered to her son. He nodded and left, turning back to smile at the two women one more time before he sat in one of the chairs in the little waiting area.

The brunette looked at the woman beside her. She felt her chest weigh down with guilt. Regina took Emma's hand between her own. It was cold as ever, and she palmed the flesh gently, coaxing heat back into it.

"I failed you, Emma Swan. I will always fail you." She fought back fresh tears that were threatening to overflow. "Just like I failed Daniel. I'm not supposed to have love, or a happy ending. Just look at what I did to try and get one.

"Even if you do love me, or want me in some way, I will never be what you need. I'll always be wrong for you. It's just my destiny." Regina smiled to herself.

"Then again, you were always there for me. You were the one to save me, and even defend me on the rare occasion. Maybe you're supposed to chase my scared heart. Maybe you're supposed to find me, no matter how far I run...

"Emma, this is the most terrifying thing that I have ever done. I've left you waiting, disappointed Henry, my beloved son, all because I was so selfish and afraid to face the truth. Even now, I can't do this. I am... I hope you forgive me in the future." Regina pressed her lips to the newly-warmed fingers of the Savior, rejoicing in the softness of Emma's skin.

Emma's heart jumped, as usual. But when Regina's lips grazed the other woman's knuckles, her index finger rose slowly to brush along the brunette's scratched cheek. She gasped softly at the gentle contact. She brought Emma's hand up to her face, cupping her cheek into the blonde's palm. She inhaled deeply as the Savior's thumb involuntarily stroked over her own warm skin.

"Emma... Even now, I can't. I feel you, and I want more. If I give in to that, I'll never be able to stop. I don't take things kindly, or gently. I take with pain, violence, and misery. Look, just look, at what I did to try and keep Henry from you. Even after you told me you were leaving. I just couldn't let it go. The simple reason being that I _am_ the Evil Queen." She peered intently at the sleeping woman's blank face.

"Everything in me right now is screaming to kiss you. To kiss _you_ , Emma. I want to take you, and make you mine. But..." She glanced over her shoulder at Henry, who was thumbing through a magazine. "It's all a dream. It's all a fantasy. Dreams don't come true for the wicked." She set Emma's hand back down, turning herself away from her Savior.


	12. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina's recovery is set back by her new night terrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I'm sorry I haven't updated, but you know how holidays interfere with all of that! To make up for my little hiatus, here's a long chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Please comment and let me know what you think.

Regina pushed herself through the door to Granny's, grimacing at the awkwardness of the action. Ruby looked up from the table she was wiping down. Her eyes sprung wide, and she rushed over, clearly intending to help push the crippled mayor to her destination. A hard look stopped the young woman in her tracks.

She wheeled herself to one of the small, unoccupied tables closest to her. Ruby rushed forward to pull one of the chairs away, determined to help at least a bit. The air was thick with tension, neither of them sure how to act around the other.

"So... How's your recovery, Mayor Mills?"

Miss Lucas, I came here for food, if you could call it that, not for idle chat about my health."

"Right. Do you need a menu, or do you know what you'd like?"

"I'd like a Caesar salad, no onions, light on the dressing. Thank you."

"Coming right up, Mayor." The tall brunette turned to place the order she took, but stopped and faced Regina again. "I know that I'm not the best person to trust with secrets all of the time, but I want you to know that I didn't tell anyone about my finding you with Henry."

"I... Thank you, Miss Lucas." Whatever venom was hiding behind the mayor's lips, it died, struck by the sincerity of the girl's words.

"People ask me. They do. They know I was involved, but I don't say anything." Her eyes popped wide, as if horrified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I was... I'll go place your order!" And before the older woman could even respond, Ruby whisked herself away.

The rest of Regina's time spent at the little diner was quiet, and somewhat awkward. The waitress was clearly embarrassed by her words, and refused to meet the other brunette's eyes, not that Regina was trying to do so either. Though irritated by the childish reactions of the wolf-girl, Regina did allow her to hold open the door when she started to wheel herself to the exit. She accepted the wordless apology.

Just before she made to wheel herself over the threshold, Regina looked up at the other woman. She found herself feeling slightly more powerless without her height, always exaggerated by stilettos, to aid her when dealing with her subjects.

"Because you asked, I get the stitches in my right foot out tomorrow. I'll be on crutches for several days, then the other foot. After that, I'll be on a cane until I'm fully recovered." She grimaced as the idea of hobbling around on a cane made her think of the imp.

"I bet you'll be happy to be rid of that chair, huh?"

"Your astuteness surpasses you," Regina replied dryly. Ruby shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to reply. "Good day, Miss Lucas."

"Madame Mayor," she said formally.

The former queen pushed herself out into the brisk autumn air, pausing to pull some leather gloves from the pockets of her pea coat. She didn't know why she had wheeled herself all the way from her mansion to the diner. Maybe it was to feel like she was still free, still mobile, and not beached like a whale. The prospect of transporting herself all the way back was significantly less appealing.

Apparently her irritation showed, because David Nolan, who was striding by, saw the look on her face and strode over, smiling pleasantly. "Madame Mayor! Can I help you?"

She threw him a withering look. "No one asks if I need any help with any other aspect in my life, but as soon as I can't walk, everyone wants to aid me."

"Er... Is that a yes?"

"If you feel so inclined, you may do so."

"As you wish, Mayor. So, where to?"

"My house, if you think you can manage."

"No problem."

Regina was always idly impressed with the way her insults, and generally unpleasant manor slid right off of him. He was easier to bait as Charming, but David seemed to have a calmer, more impenetrable disposition. It probably helped that he was blithely unaware of their history. Even so, he was always kind. It really irritated Regina.

They moved in relative silence. The mayor was still too bitter about being confined to a wheelchair to want to tolerate the pointless banter that would certainly come dribbling out of his mouth. He tried, though, because he was a Charming, and that's what they do.

Regina replied in clipped tones, never elaborating, and he got the message surprisingly fast. She hated when they passed others on the sidewalk. It was one thing for them to see her pushing herself along in a wheelchair, but it was something else entirely for them to see their Mayor being pushed around by another. Shame tore through her, but she was Regina Mills. She held her head high, setting her jaw and squaring her shoulders. So even in a wheelchair with hideous wrappings around her feet, she managed to look regal and downright threatening.

David pushed her up the walk to the Mayoral Mansion, and she felt him pause for the smallest of moments, as he was mildly surprised to see a makeshift ramp in place over the stairs leading up to the porch. He admitted that he wasn't sure what he was going to do once they arrived at 108 Mifflin. He was too scared to ask if he would need to carry her in, or something unbelievably awkward like that.

He sighed inwardly when he took in the sight of the basic wooden ramp. He pushed her up it a little awkwardly, but they made it to the top nonetheless. The brunette pulled a key ring out of her pocket, selecting a brass one and holding it out to the nervous looking man standing over her. She cringed at the fact that he could do that.

He took it without question, turning the lock and opening the door, then handed the bundle of keys back, not sure if he should say anything. "So, do you need help with anything else...?"

Regina locked her eyes onto his, seeing that the offer was genuine and not just an empty offer of assistance. She considered it briefly. "Actually, I do find it difficult to shop for groceries. I'll be on crutches tomorrow, but maybe you wouldn't mind holding my basket for me?"

"It would be my pleasure, Madame Mayor," he replied warmly. "Give me a call when you need, and I'll come pick you up."

"Thank you, Mr Nolan."

"Please, David."

"Thank you, David. I will see you tomorrow."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina was lying stiff as a board on an examination table. She felt humiliated being in a scratchy, thin, drab hospital gown. There was a little partition erected over her knees so that she wouldn't have to see Whale working on her foot. The uncomfortable tugging on the little stitches as he pulled them away from her flesh made her skin crawl. Regina was resilient and far from squeamish, but she couldn't quite place why this action made her so distressed.

The brunette was grateful that Whale didn't feel any inclination to chat during the procedure. He merely gave her little updates as to the progress of the stitch removal. He let her know that her wounds were healing beautifully, though they were certain to leave scars and minor nerve damage.

Scars were nothing to Regina. While others might view them as ugly, she found herself proud of the little marks that had peppered her body during her many years. It showed that yes, she could be hurt, but she was always able to survive. She was a fighter, and wearing those scars proved as such.

The mayor inhaled sharply through her teeth; something icy was running down her foot, and she was caught by surprise. Whale apologized suddenly, saying that he was sorry for not warning her. He was running an alcohol-soaked gauze pad along the recently-closed wounds.

"Okay, Regina, I've removed all of the stitches from your foot. You'll still want to continue with your cleansing routine. Keep applying more Neosporin to the area, and make sure that the foot gets to breathe.

"It's looking good, but if any of those scabs split open, I want you to soak the foot in water as hot as you can stand it for a minimum of twenty minutes. That will help to draw out any potential infection, but if you feel the split is too bad, come back here and I'll patch it up for you.

"I was also looking at your left foot, and we should still be able to take out the stitches on Tuesday, as we had originally planned. The main gouge in the arch of that foot was significantly worse than all of the others, so it will take a little longer to heal.

"Once you're off of your crutches, I want you stay out of any high heels for a week or two. Your feet will be tender, and heels will only hinder your recovery. Once you're up to it, though, feel free to sport any footwear you desire.

"Now that that's out of the way, I'm going to get you your crutches, and you can be on your way Mayor Mills. Feel free to put on your clothes while I'm out." He nodded politely and left the little room she was in.

Regina swung her legs over the edge of the little table she was on, hearing the paper underneath her crinkle from the action. She hastily slipped out of the gown, retreating back to the comfort and elegance of her satin shirt that she picked out that day. She looked down at the silvery gray material after buttoning it up. It was the shirt that Emma had borrowed shortly after deciding to stay in Storybrooke. Regina decided that it looked better on her own form, rather than on the sheriff.

Although, popping each individual button open at an agonizingly slow pace, revealing milky skin usually housed under cotton tank tops inch by inch would be surprisingly satisfying. She could imagine the look of frustration and urgency in those disarming emerald eyes of the blonde woman. She could imagine-

Nothing. There was nothing to imagine. Regina felt heat creeping up her cheeks, embarrassed to have given in to such a wanton fantasy. She shifted uncomfortably before slipping her slacks back on. Indulging in such daydreams was so very undignified and childish. She chastised herself for being so weak. Regina was many, many things, but weak was nowhere on that list, and, as she knew so well, love is weakness. Love? Who said anything about love?

Regina was about to stumble down a path that would only hold more questions and confusion than answers and clarity. A soft knock sounded on the door, and a nurse walked in, smiling sympathetically, two aluminum crutches clutched in her hands. She had to stop herself from scoffing with disgust. The mayor was not to be pitied.

The look she shot woman was more than enough to tell her to say only what was necessary and then leave with all the haste she could manage. To Regina's relief, the nurse followed the unspoken order, helping to adjust the crutches to the brunette's height. Once she was satisfied that they were fit to the patient, the nurse said a polite goodbye and left.

Regina gingerly tested herself on the silly looking contraptions lodged underneath her armpits. It wasn't as bad as she thought, and her foot only twinged mildly when she put her weight on it. Even though it was far from comfortable, the proud woman was out of that horrific wheelchair. She could stand again. Regina would always stand in the end.

She was considering calling David to pick her up for their shopping appointment, but she was in the hospital, and Regina felt herself being pulled down a familiar route to a room holding an even more familiar woman.

She shimmied through the door, huffing in frustration every time it smacked her when she wasn't agile enough to slip past the threshold. She hobbled over to the chair, collapsing into it, already feeling an ache forming in her underarms.

"I'm back," she whispered softly. "I must say, it's a surprising relief to be around someone who isn't pestering me with foolish questions about my injuries. The worst part about it, is that, even if I wanted to give them answers, which I most certainly do not, I can't. I don't really know what happened to me that night.

"I remember being here...being close to you. I remember the heat, and then Daniel's face." A lump rose in her throat. Even after so many decades, talking about her beloved stable boy still made the brunette choke on her words.

"And then... And then... Pain. I felt like my heart was about to explode, and I felt like I had to escape, Emma. But there was nowhere to run. I ran anyway. And then I was alone...and lost. After that, I let the black take over. It felt so good, to finally give up after all of these long years.

"Of course, Fate is stubborn, even in this world. Henry was above me, cradling me in his arms as I used to do for him. He brought warmth through me. He always does. And yet, as much as I wanted to let him bring his light through me, I couldn't.

"Emma, I couldn't fight the doubts in me. You have never known how it feels to have your child look at you like you're a dangerous stranger. Ever since that silly book came into his life, he's never looked at me as his mother. He's seen the Evil Queen. How can I help that not only does he see the truth, but that he can only see in black and white?

"And then I...tried to kill you. That drove him away more than the power of any book or fantasy ever could. He couldn't look at me without hatred in his eyes. That was something I tried to keep from his heart. No child should know that level of hatred at his age. All he wanted to do was save you.

"But, even that changed. He discovered that maybe I was the one who could wake you, which is preposterous, and he came back to me. I was _so_ unbelievably happy, that I was willing to overlook the rest, but I couldn't fight those nagging feelings that clung to the edges of my mind.

"If it had been someone else for you, Emma, he would walk from me and never look back. If it were anyone but me, Henry would be gone from me forever. That's what terrifies me. He's undeniably happy at the prospect of having a family, or at least two parents, something that has been denied him his entire life, but I can't fight the feeling that he would find his family with anyone as long as _you_ were in it. Not me."

Regina sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted from her monologue. She leaned over, resting her head on the sheriff's forearm. The cool of her skin was remarkably soothing to the brunette, and she let herself stop for many long minutes, reveling in the blissful emptiness that the blonde brought to her mind.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"Again, thank you, David. You have been of great assistance to me." She let a small smile cover her face as her companion set several bags of groceries onto one of the kitchen counters.

"I'm always happy to help, Mayor." He smiled with warmth, as always. "Would you like any help putting these away?"

"Thank you, but I think I can manage." David looked at her doubtfully. "I can see that you won't accept that, though. Go ahead."

He started emptying one of the bags, and Regina let him know where each of the items belonged. Though she would never admit it, the brunette found herself grateful that she didn't have to stump her way awkwardly around the kitchen, trying to navigate crutches while holding onto things in her hands.

They worked comfortably around each other, and once the last item - a box of linguini - was stowed into a cupboard, David clapped his hands together to signify the completion of their task. He leaned casually against one of the counters.

"Anything else you need me to do? Fix a leaky roof, do some plumbing?" he joked. Regina let out a small chuckle.

"I think that will do for today. I seem to be in your debt."

"Not a bit. I didn't do this for favors; I just wanted to help."

"Again, thank you."

"How're those crutches treating you?"

"They-" She was about to say that they didn't bother her one bit. She was strong, and Regina did not want show any weaknesses. Yet, it struck her that she did not need to put on any kind of show for David. Right here, right now, he was just David Nolan. He wasn't Prince Charming, doing everything in his power to defend his precious Snow White. He was just a man showing her a little good-natured concern.

"They are rather uncomfortable."

"They really are. I was on crutches a few times in my day. Can I show you a trick? It won't make them pain-free or any easier to use, but it helped me."

"By all means."

"Got any dish towels you wouldn't mind surrendering?" Regina motioned to a cabinet beside the dishwasher. He fished out two white towels. "Tape?"

"Tape? What kind, dear?"

"Packing tape, or duct tape. Whatever you prefer." The mayor told him where to find some packing tape in her study. He wasn't gone long before he came bounding back into the kitchen, looking like a big puppy. He took the crutches after Regina sat herself on a chair. David put each of the towels on the cradles at the tops of each crutch. Afterward, he taped them in place, rather crudely the woman observed.

He flashed her a smile, looking as though he had solved a dire problem. "Here, this will help them to be less painful. Give them a try."

"I'd rather just take your word for it. I've had enough of hobbling around on those things for a day."

"I understand completely. Okay, well, if that's all you need I think I'll be heading out. And, if you need help with anything else, just give me a holler."

"You have my gratitude, David. Have a good evening."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina tore the sheets of off herself as though they were on fire. Her silk pajamas clung to her sticky skin, drenched with sweat. Her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe. Her eyes spun wildly in their sockets, not focusing on anything actually around her. If someone were to see her at that moment, they would realize that Regina wasn't really there. Her waking mind was trapped elsewhere.

The brunette scrambled from the bed, frenzied, mumbling incoherent things. She tried to stand, but when she put her weight on both of her feet, a strangled cry ripped from her throat, and she collapsed. Not even faltering, she started clawing at the ground, dragging herself like a crippled beast.

"Daniel..." she moaned. "I'm coming for you. I won't let her take you!" Her voice was rising, her eyes still spinning at a dizzying rate. "I can save you!" She pulled herself to her feet by the doorframe that she found herself by. Ignoring the sharp protests in the soles of her feet, Regina stumbled down the hall, clinging to bare walls, groaning with both emotional and physical pain.

"Father! Father, I had to! I was hurting so bad. Daddy, I love you..." The words tumbled from her lips like a sniveling child, tears staining her blanched face. "I just wanted to be hap-" Her words were cut short when she tumbled down her staircase, landing in a crumpled heap.

She was still and silent for a few long moments, her eyes wide and staring in shock. Then, she inhaled sharply, her breath sputtering as she filled her lungs. "NOOOOOOOO!" she shrieked. She was clutching at her stomach, screaming and writhing on the ground. Regina's hands moved up to claw at her face, her nails leaving long, angry marks, even drawing blood in several places. "I'M SORRY," she howled.

As if possessed, the brunette rose from the floor, half running, half stumbling down the darkened streets. She was sobbing, her face blotchy and scratched, looking like an overgrown toddler having a fit.

Bloody footprints followed her as she blundered her way down the sidewalk, still not seeing anything surrounding her. Her hands were wringing around each other, occasionally flying out in front of her, flinching as though she was trying to ward off an attack.

" _Please... Please..._ " she moaned over and over again in between all of the unintelligible babbling that fell from her trembling lips.

The feral woman crashed her way into the hospital, looking for all the world like a deranged, abused creature escaped from its cage. She staggered her way down a familiar path the brunette was unaware that she was treading. She slipped occasionally from the blood gushing slickly from her feet.

The mayor clawed at the glass door until she threw her weight against it, falling over the threshold and slamming into hard, cold tile. She stood again, because she was Regina Mills, and Regina Mills was a proud woman not to be beaten. Her breath was ragged, her eyes still whirling madly, but she had stopped trying to speak entirely.

As though being pulled by strings attached to her limbs, the manic mayor fumbled her way into Emma's bed. The moment she pressed herself against the blonde's body, Regina's entire demeanor shifted in the blink of an eye. Her breathing steadied, and her bloodshot eyes, though still glassy and unseeing, ceased their nauseating movements. She clung to the unconscious sheriff like a child would their teddy bear. Regina's eyes closed, a contented hum vibrating through her shredded throat. She found her Savior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for any of you who are interested, I do have a Tumblr. It mostly me reposting Swan Queen stuffs, but even so, you can find me at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	13. Out of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina learns what's happening to her, and an ultimatum has been set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the longest chapter yet, but there was a lot going on! I was considering splitting it up, but you guys can handle this! Thanks again for all of the comments and kudos! Enjoy!

Henry ran through the halls, frantically seeking out his mother. Mary Margaret had received a phone call fifteen minutes prior, saying that the hospital had found Regina in Emma's room, injured and unresponsive. The teacher immediately roused Henry, considering that it was about six-thirty in the morning. Neither of them changed, and both grabbed coats and shoes before speeding off.

She didn't bother trying to slow Henry down, or keep up with him when he pelted from the car the moment she pulled into a parking space. Though he was wide-awake and petrified, Mary Margaret was still trying to shake the sleep from her bones.

Henry skidded down one of the wards, his sneakers squealing and scuffing against the tile. He knew he was in the right place when he heard strained orders being barked over the bedlam of Regina's tortured wailing. He had never heard such sounds coming from his normally composed mother, but the way they smashed through his head made Henry more terrified than he's ever been in his entire life.

He stopped dead outside the only room bustling with activity. His hazel eyes widened in horror. A whole team of nurses, headed by Dr Whale, was surrounding a gurney that Regina was on. She was flailing her limbs, thrashing her body and head around. Her silk pajamas were in an alarming state of disrepair, and the boy got an eye-full of hot, red blood gushing from his mother's bare feet.

"NO! STOP! I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING ME LIKE THAT. LET ME GO! PLEASE," the mayor tried to bellow, but her throat was so torn that it came out as nothing more than scratchy shrieks. Her eyes were popping in evident terror, while five nurses were wrestling her violently undulating form to the gurney.

"MOM!" Henry shouted, just as Mary Margaret approached him, placing her hands protectively over his shoulders.

"Henry?" Dr Whale looked confused as to the boy's presence, momentarily forgetting that he had requested Regina's son be notified. "Someone get him out of here. He shouldn't be seeing this. I need a sedative _now_ ," he hissed to one of the nurses fumbling to carry out his orders.

"Come on, Henry," his guardian whispered, trying to inject as much warmth and comfort into her voice. Even Mary Margaret couldn't fight the way her words shook upon seeing the other woman having a severe attack of some kind. The visual of Regina's eyes rolling in her head made the teacher's stomach lurch.

Henry pulled himself from her grasp, stepping closer to the threshold of the room. "Mom! Mom, it's me! It's Henry! I'm here," he sort of half-shouted, half-cooed to his compromised mother.

Her terror-stricken gaze locked onto his, and it seemed like she was struggling to see him. To see her son in the here and now, not whatever horror she was jammed into. "I'm so... _sorry_ ," she choked out, before losing herself again, her mouth gaping in a silent scream. A needle slid into her pinned arm, injecting something. Several long moments later, Regina's body slumped motionless onto the gurney, unconscious.

"H-Henry?" Mary Margaret's voice pierced through him, but he still couldn't tear his eyes away from all that lay before him. "Come on, Henry. We can't stay here." He stayed silent. "We... We could go to Granny's? I'm sure you're hungry..." But she could tell by his ashy complexion that food was the last thing on the boy's mind.

"I can't leave her," he whispered quietly. "If you're hungry, you can go get something, Ms Blanchard. But I won't leave my mom."

"How about I bring you something from Granny's? Do you want a pastry? Hot chocolate?" She pulled gently at him, getting the boy to walk toward the nearest waiting area.

"I want... A chocolate chip muffin and some hot chocolate. Please." He didn't look at her. Henry just frowned fearfully at the floor, dragging his feet. "I'll... I'm gonna wait in Emma's room. You don't have to walk me."

"Okay. I will be back in a bit." She didn't question him, knowing that he needed time to be alone and process what he had just witnessed. She watched him until he was out of sight before leaving the hospital.

Henry stood outside the little room that Emma was housed in. A nurse was in there. He watched as the man stripped bloodstained sheets from his mother's body. His eyes widened, wondering if something had also managed to injure his birthmother. But something else caught his eye. He looked on the ground, and noticed bloody footprints surrounding the bed and they were coming from the entrance to the room.

He frowned, looking around the tiles of the hallway he was standing in. No bloody footprints were there. Then his gaze fell upon a mop and the ugly, yellow bucket it stood in. The sight of his adoptive mother's feet dribbling blood swam to the head of his mind, and it all clicked.

Regina had been in Emma's room. She was on the bed with her. Doing what, he couldn't say. But she had walked through these halls, barefoot and bleeding all the way here. She was in her pajamas. Was she sleep walking? Henry knew his mother. She wouldn't risk something as foolish as walking around without shoes on injured feet. She was careful and attentive to her health. Something like this, well, it just wasn't Regina.

The nurse opened the door, peering down at the pensive boy. "Can I help you?"

"Huh? Oh, can I go in? I just wanna sit with Emma."

"If you don't mind me cleaning up, but maybe you'd rather wait until I get the blood off of the floor..."

"I'll step around it." Henry entered, hopping over the brownish splotches peppering the tiles. He plopped down into that hard little chair, resting his chin on the edge of Emma's bed. The rumble of the mop bucket being wheeled in did nothing to disturb his position. He quietly let the nurse do his job.

Mary Margaret tentatively entered the freshly-sanitized room about fifteen minutes after the nurse had left. She took more time than necessary to run her errand so as to allow the boy time to be with his mother and thoughts. Two paper cups were in each of her hands, and a little paper bag was tucked underneath her arm.

"Hey," she said softly. "I called the school to let them know you won't be in today. And I also left a message for Dr Whale so he knows where to find you when he's done with Regina."

"Thanks," he mumbled, taking the offered hot chocolate from the woman staring at him across from his mother.

"I can't stay for too long. I do have to be at the school." A weak smile crossed her lips. "If Regina saw that I was just leaving you in-"

"Don't." Henry's voice was a little firmer.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine." He took the muffin she held out. His hot chocolate stayed untouched.

"If you want to be alone-"

"I do."

"Okay. I'll let you be." She moved around to him, moving to plant a gentle kiss on his head, but he pulled away. She looked down at him sadly. "You know where I keep the spare key to the apartment when you want to go home. He grunted. She decided that saying anything further wouldn't even get that much of a response and she left with one last look at him.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Dr Whale entered Emma Swan's room, and stopped short. He saw Henry curled up next to his birthmother, tucked under her blankets, fast asleep. He was suddenly reminded of just how early Henry Mills' tumultuous morning had been. He must have been exhausted.

He moved quietly to the bed, placing a hand on Henry's small shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. His snores burbled for a moment, his face scrunching trying to deny that he was being woken. Whale gave another shake, this time seeing sleepy eyes open and peer groggily up at him.

"Good morning, Henry." He smiled as warmly as he could.

Henry focused on the man for a moment, and then realizing whom it was, he bolted upright. "Ismymomokay?" he blurted as fast as he could.

"It's hard to say. I've got her sedated and she seems to be stabilized, but I have no explanation for her behavior. Perhaps she was having a reaction to the pain medication. She was feverish when we found her and clearly hallucinating. Perhaps she fell ill."

"And stumbled all the way here?"

"I know...it doesn't make much sense. I am trying to find out what is wrong with her. If you want to, you can go see her. She's not awake, but I'm sure she'd appreciate her son's company all the same." Dr Whale smiled down at Henry.

"Thanks, for helping my mom."

"Of course, Henry. I'll leave you be for now. If you need anything, lunch, if you get hungry, just let someone know. They'll bring you something." Whale was thanked again before he left.

Henry walked to his adoptive mother's room, unaware as to how much he was shaking and how hard his heart was hammering in his throat. The sight that greeted him did little to relieve his apprehension. Regina was unconscious on one of the hospital beds, clad in one of the ugly gowns. She was horribly pale, which only served the throw the unsightly scratches down her face into sharp relief.

An IV was hooked up to her arms, and he could see bruises under her skin from where the nurses had to hold her down. Her feet were wrapped in thick, gauzy bandages, and the sound of Regina's heart beeping on the monitor was not slow and steady like his other mother's. It was irregular, speeding up and slowing down and sort of skipping.

He stumbled in, tripping over his feet a little. He quickly scooped up one of her hands, exhaling a breath, some of the tension leaving his body. Her skin was still warm, though slightly clammy, but nothing like Emma's perpetually frozen body. That warmth was comforting to him.

"Hey. It's me, Henry. I don't know if you can hear me, or whatever, but I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you, Mom. Not for a long while." He reached out a trembling hand, almost placing it on her scabbed cheek, but he withdrew it. He was afraid of touching her wounds.

"I don't know what's happening to you, but I'm gonna fix you." He blew out a sigh. "Where's your Savior to save you when you need her?"

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry was picking at one of the hospital lunches, leafing through one of the comics that Ms Blanchard had dropped off for him while she was on her own lunch break. He was reading about the Incredible Hulk when the rhythmic tapping of a cane caught his attention.

Mr Gold was standing in the doorway, a small bunch of flowers in his hands. "May I come in, Henry?"

"Sure, Mr Gold. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just passing on my wishes for a speedy recovery for the mayor here."

"Seriously?" Henry fixed him with a look of deep skepticism. He wasn't under the impression that either adult had any fondness for the other. He was also fairly certain that were their roles reversed, Regina wouldn't bother coming to visit him, let alone bring flowers.

"There's something else, isn't there?"

"What makes you say that?" he responded with cool curiosity.

"You're bringing _Regina_ flowers? C'mon, why are you really here? Do you know what's happening to my mom?"

Gold never faltered at Henry's blatant accusation toward his less-than-friendly relationship with the mayor. "As a matter of fact, Henry, I do know what's wrong." He saw the boys face light up with a swirl of hope, fear and curiosity. "However, I cannot tell you what it is. It's between your mother and myself."

"What? But she's my mom!"

"I understand, but this isn't something for you to hear. Please, trust me on this."

Henry narrowed his eyes at the older man. "You still didn't tell me why you're here."

Gold chuckled at Henry's tenacity. He truly was the son of Regina and Emma. "I came here to ask a favor of you."

" _What?_ "

"Yes. I know how to fix all that is happening to your mother here, but I need you to do something for me first."

"What is it?"

"I need you to have your mother here moved into Miss Swan's room. I need them to be kept close."

"Why?" Henry's eyes remained narrowed, and he regarded Gold closely. If there was one thing he learned from Regina, it was how to see past masks, considering that she herself had worn many for her son. She had unknowingly taught him to identify when someone was hiding something, but Gold seemed earnest in his intentions.

"You know that Regina is Emma's True Love, yes?"

"Yeah."

"Then she should be with her True Love. It will help stabilize her while she's unconscious and ensure that she's lucid when she wakes."

"Really?"

"I am certain of it. The rest I will take care of myself."

"You?"

"I cannot tell you any more, Henry. I wish I could, but it's not information for you."

"Wait. Why do you think I will be able to get them to move Mom to Emma's room?"

"Because, Henry, you're their son. No one has more say than you do."

"But... I'm just a kid."

Mr Gold smiled down at his confused expression. "Exactly. Children have this curious ability to get what they want. I know you'll be able to do this."

"You're... You're not going to hurt her, are you?" Henry felt suddenly small and vulnerable.

"Emma cannot wake without Regina. I would not dream of hurting her, my boy. I'll be back when she's awake."

"How will you know?"

Gold just smirked knowingly at Henry before limping away. It left him feeling nervous and unsettled. He wanted to trust Mr Gold because he wanted his mother back, but Gold never made himself seem very trustworthy. All the same, he was given a task, and Henry was never one to back down from what needed to be done.

It took a little while to convince Dr Whale that Regina needed to be moved to Emma's room, but a few white lies, some puppy-eyed pleading, and a handful of well-timed tears later, Regina's bed was being wheeled to the ward Emma was housed in.

He flitted nervously around them, telling the nurses moving the brunette to place her bed directly next to the blonde's. He insisted that he needed them together, trembling his lip and making his eyes watery. Gold was right; kids _did_ have a way of getting what they wanted.

Once Regina was settled in beside her sheriff and all of the nurses left, Henry stopped to look at both of them lying together. Something was off, though. He could feel that Regina was in no way more stable where she was than in the other room.

He stared at them, turning over Gold's words in his head, trying to figure out what he needed to do. The pawnshop owner had said that Regina needed to be close to Emma. Well, she's close to her now, so what's missing? He stared at his mothers, wracking his brain.

Something surfaced in his memory. Something from this morning when he first stood outside the room. That nurse was pulling bloody sheets off of his birthmother, implying that his other mother had been lying in bed with her. Emma was cold, Regina was hot. His brain clicked for the second time that day.

He climbed up, sitting on the crease between the two beds. He picked up the sheriff's left hand, set it in the center, then placed the mayor's right hand over it. The change was audible. Emma's heart monitor started beeping faster, while Regina's fell into a more regular pace. He looked at the softly-glowing screens hovering above his adoptive mother. He didn't know what any of it really meant, but he knew that he saw everything settling into a normal range.

He didn't want their hands to separate, so he rummaged through the drawers and cabinets in the room until he found a spool of medical tape. Hopping back up onto the beds, Henry wasted no time in taping the hands of his mothers together. It looked silly, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

"I love you," he murmured.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina's mouth felt...dry. She was aware that her eyes were still closed, but she wasn't ready to open them just yet. She took in a deep breath, noticing just how badly everything in her body seemed to be aching. She smacked her lips a few times, trying to return some saliva to her parched mouth.

Regina still didn't open her eyes. She took another painful breath, smelling sweat, flowers and hospital. A curious sound reached her ears. She heard the very distinct tone of a heart monitor, but it had the strangest rhythm. No... It was two monitors she was hearing. One that was following her own. The person the other heart monitor belonged to she didn't know.

She tried to lift her hand to rub her eyes and encourage her lids to open up, but something heavy was attached to it. Her fingers seemed stuck together as well. Something luke-warm was under her palm, and she had no idea what it was or why it was there.

The need to know what was stuck to her was powerful enough that she was able to pry her leaden eyelids open. It was fairly dark in the room, telling her that it was night. She lifted her head, turning it to the side to examine her hand. A curious sight greeted her bleary eyes.

It seemed to be bound atop another hand. Her eyes moved slowly up a toned arm, skating over a hospital gown, equally hideous as the one on her own body. Blonde curls, and the blank face that she knew every detail of met Regina's gaze.

Her eyes shot open, trying to sit up, but slammed herself back onto the mattress, pain rippling through her. She grunted loudly, her temper rising. The brunette impatiently, but slowly, shifted herself into a more upright position. She was about to reach over and tear the tape away from her hand, but the pain in her arm stopped her.

She looked down at it, and noticed all of the purple blemishes, some of them clearly hand and finger shaped made her gasp. "What the hell happened to me?" She looked at her other arm and saw similar markings. The mayor shifted her eyes to her feet, which were heavily bandaged. She huffed with frustration.

Gritting her teeth and ignoring the pain - because Regina Mills was stubborn like that - she once again made to remove the tape binding her to the Savior. But when she looked closely, she saw something scribbled on the bands of tape: _Don't take it off. Feel better! -Henry_

Regina frowned down at the message. Why on earth was she not supposed to unbind her hand? She moved to run her free fingers through her hair, but hissed in pain again. She fumbled around with the hand that was not her dominant one until she found a little button to page a nurse. The mayor needed answers and painkillers.

She had put her head back down onto the pillows and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the heavy throbbing in her head. She heard the door open. "Finally, it took you long enough. I'm in pain. Fix that."

"Do say 'please,' your Majesty."

Regina's head shot up, her eyes widening in shock, but her lip quickly turned upward in a snarl. "What the hell do you think you're doing here, Rumple?"

"I'm here to help you remedy this little debacle you've gotten yourself into."

"What?"

"Finding yourself in places that you don't remember going to? Well," he sneered, his eyes traveling down her body. "I'd say your feet certainly remember."

"Get to the point, Rumple."

"Manners, Majesty." He was having entirely too much fun toying with the brunette. "Say 'please'... _please_."

Before Regina could stop herself, she found the word bubbling out of her lips, "Please."

"That's better." He walked over to Regina's bed, that smug smirk never leaving his face. "You, your Majesty, don't seem to know enough about True Love." Regina scoffed at his words. "Tell me, is a person genuinely whole without their True Love?"

Not sure what the imp was getting at, she decided to play along. "Of course not. They need each other to survive. If one of them is-"

"Perhaps put under a Sleeping Curse, the other is severed from them."

"Until the curse is broken. Broken by True Love's Kiss."

"Precisely, but what you don't seem to realize, Regina, is what happens if that curse is _not_ broken. If that severance is never mended."

"I don't understand."

"That's rather obvious. What you don't know is that the longer a person is severed from their True Love, the more unstable they become."

"What?"

"Yes, and in our land, that happens at an extremely slow rate. It can take decades for that to happen. In addition to that, the stronger the bond, the slower the process. Take Snow White and her dear Prince Charming." Gold did not fail to notice the way Regina's jaw tightened at the mention of the woman she hated so much. "Had her prince not found her, he would find himself losing his mind over a _very_ long period of time.

"It wouldn't show for a quite some time, but the prince would always feel unbalanced. Eventually, he would lose his mind, having lost what completes and grounds him. Although," his brow creased thoughtfully. "Perhaps never for Charming, considering just how much he loves his Snow White.

"Or dear Princess Abigail and her gold knight. Had her fiancé not gotten that water from the lake so jealously guarded by the siren, thirty or so years later, Midas' daughter would cease to be."

"What's your point?" Regina was at the end of her patience, her head was pounding and he was seriously getting on her nerves.

"The point is, Regina, you and I both know that magic is unstable in this world. Things don't work the same way here. Don't tell me there's no magic in this realm. There is but one magic strong enough to permeate all realms in existence, and you know exactly what kind it is. You and I know who your True Love is. And by being in contact with her, she's keeping you grounded...for now. But this isn't our world, and the instability of magic, plus how weak your bond with the sheriff currently is, it would appear that the severance process has been sped up. Drastically."

"So you're saying," Regina started, trying to use a tone that suggested that she didn't believe a word he was saying.

"You, Majesty, have a very limited amount of time. You know what you have to do. I suggest you do it, and quickly."

"Why should I listen to you? What makes me think I will trust a single thing you say?"

Gold laughed softly. "I said nothing about trust, dearie. So let me put it this way, then. Imagine what Henry will do if he loses _both_ of his mothers?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I have Tumblr if y'all are interested, hit me up here: writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	14. The Final Push - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait, but this whole chapter, and the coming one, has been incredibly difficult for me to write. I should have Part 2 up by tomorrow or Monday at the latest. Thank you all so much for your patience and kind words! Please enjoy!

Gold left a speechless Regina, walking away, wearing that knowing smirk of his that drove the former Queen nuts. Her stomach twisted like a wad of worms on LSD. The information he gave her had indeed been something the mayor had known nothing of, and her first instinct was doubt. Trusting Rumplestiltskin wasn't something that Regina was in the habit of doing.

And yet, his words gnawed at her. She knew something was wrong with her; that much was obvious. Wherever the mysterious - and seemingly violent - fits she kept having were coming from, she couldn't say. For all she knew, the imp had been offering up a story to conveniently fill in the gaps, just to get her to play his game. The game he had them all playing from the start.

She ground her teeth in frustration. Madness from being magically cut from one's True Love? It was completely... Well, if Regina was being honest with herself, it didn't sound implausible. She had heard stories of men and women, both great heroes and simple folk alike, having fallen to lunacy when their love was taken from them. Some even died, though it was said that they would simply die of a broken heart.

She growled to herself. Those were coincidences and rumors. If that were true, why had she not gone mad when her mother had crushed... The brunette swallowed hard. A tiny voice whispered in her ear, _You and I both know that Daniel was not your True Love, dear. You were children, and he was your_ First Love _. Don't deny what you have spent decades running from._

She shook her head, hard, looking like she was trying to throw a wasp from her scalp. Her eyes fell to the woman beside her, and Regina busied herself by glaring at the blonde out of spite. Usually, the sheriff had given the mayor damn good reasons to earn gazes full of ire. At that moment, though, she just needed something to be angry at.

If, and only _if_ , Gold's words held any truth, and what he had told her did apply to Regina... She wasn't sure she could handle the truth. That would mean that the unbelievably aggravating woman bound to her by medical tape was her... No. She refused to say it, let alone think it.

The brunette was about to reach over and peel back her binding, but the words scribbled across it caught her eyes again. Henry had come here, not just for Emma, but for her as well. She did not know the extent of what Rumple told him - and yes, she knew that he had audacity to meddle with her son - but he came to make sure that she was safe.

Her anger ebbed slightly, thinking of the boy she thought she lost actually coming to her aid, and then she snorted, because he clearly got that from his Charming lineage. She felt Emma's fingers shift slightly, parting enough to allow her own to slip between them. She felt, and heard, her own heart jump slightly. The movement seemed so _intentional_.

Usually, when the Savior moved against her, it felt like jerks and the unconscious twitches of an unconscious woman. Yet, this simple shift unnerved the woman who nonetheless allowed her fingers to lace with Emma's. When she squeezed slightly to see what would happen, the blonde's heart jumped too.

Without warning a large, mischievous grin spread across her face as a thought blossomed in her mind. She was thinking of the positively _mortified_ expression that would cross Snow's face if she found out that her daughter was with the Evil Queen. She could imagine the almost sheepish smile on Emma's face, while Snow's eyes bounced between the Queen and the Savior, her mouth stupidly agape with shock and horror.

A small chuckle escaped her throat as Regina rested her head back on her pillows, closing her eyes. The dumbfounded look on Charming's face while his hapless wife babbled incessantly, trying to get her precious Emma to rethink her choice was a delicious vision indeed. She imagined that she would move in close to the blonde, slide her hand into the sheriff's and lean in to plant a small, but victorious, kiss upon the cheek of the woman beside her.

Regina found her mouth suddenly dry, and her tongue came out to lick her lips. She cracked open her eyes, turning her gaze to Emma Swan once more, lying still as the grave. She frowned, her stomach writhing once more. She wanted nothing more than to roll over, facing her back to the person she was now rooming with, but their hands were still taped together.

Like a petulant child, Regina huffed, reached over, wincing at the pain, and peeled back the medical tape. She extracted her fingers from the blonde's, rubbing her itchy, oxygen-starved skin. Emma's heart slowed again.

Regina suddenly felt as though she was slightly tipsy. It felt like her focus had had a chunk of it torn off. With that, her thoughts didn't feel quite so clear or organized, and her head felt like a Jenga tower on the verge of toppling. She was sure that if she could stand, she would feel wobbly and unbalanced. Regina shook herself, rolling over to face away from the infuriating woman. She just needed some sleep to steady herself.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina was awoken by soft knocking against glass. She sat bolt upright, almost crying out in pain, but no one would see her do so. Instead her eyes tightened considerably along with her jaw. She saw a nurse opening the door, looking timid and wearing an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Mayor Mills. I didn't mean to wake you, but I've got to do my rounds." The woman had a small cart full of supplies behind her.

Regina didn't bother to give any sort of answer or show any acceptance of apology. She lay back down, crossing her hands over her midsection, staring up at the ceiling. The nurse busied herself with her duties, changing the IV bag, clothing and waste on Emma, as well as checking her limp body for bedsores. Regina stared almost unblinkingly upward, refusing to watch any of what was going on beside her.

Every time the mayor previously saw her new roommate, it had been late at night, when no one was around, and Emma always looked the same as ever. Watching someone else take care of everything that the sheriff herself was unable to do, thanks to the Sleeping Curse, made it somehow so much more real just how completely helpless the Savior was. In addition to that, it added a level of guilt that Regina was definitely not ready to feel.

She still felt kind of like her brain was mushy from having drunk too much alcohol, but she knew she hadn't. It must be a combination of tiredness and whatever drugs she was probably on at the moment.

"What time is it?" she asked sharply.

The woman glanced at her watch. "A little after five. Anything I can do? Are you hungry? In pain?"

"I... I need to use the restroom." Regina chastised herself for the flush creeping up her cheeks at her statement.

"No problem, Mayor Mills. I'll have someone come right away." She walked over to a little pager and called for another nurse and a wheelchair. She smiled at the brunette before continuing her duties. Within minutes a man in purple scrubs pushing one of those infernal chairs showed up.

She had not felt so embarrassed in a long time, struggling to climb out of bed until he simply put his arms under her and gently carried her to the chair. He smiled, and looked upon her with no judgment, but the brunette could not fight the deep scowl etching her features. He wheeled her the short distance to the bathroom, and he was about to push her in and help her onto the toilet, but the thought of that was so revolting that she pushed herself in, slamming the door in his face.

There was no lock on it, and Regina glared at the doorknob as though it had personally insulted her. Grunting slightly with soreness, she got herself to the toilet, and with significant pain, some cursing and a little awkward shimmying, she got herself onto the toilet.

The mayor knew that she should have let the stupid nurse help her go to the bathroom, but her pride was not to be damaged. She missed her magic, ruing her inability to heal herself. She glowered moodily at the red button on the wall in case of an emergency.

Some minutes later, the mayor found herself back in the room with Emma, and once she was placed back in her bed, she was alone with the woman once more. She found herself feeling oddly envious of the fact that, though the sheriff was enduring greater indignities than she was, at least the blonde wasn't awake for any of it.

She found herself tempted to touch Emma's hand, but pulled away from the thought. It was one thing when she was visiting the Savior in the dead of night, but being there with her all the time was doing nothing for her mood. She felt like she was being forced to think about her feelings, question herself and why couldn't she just focus on just one thing? Her mind was racing, and it put her ill at ease.

She managed to fall back into a restless sleep, having dreams of Henry screaming at her while Emma lay dead on the floor of her royal bedchamber. She would end up cowering in the corner, hands over her ears, trying to block out the deafening fury of Henry's bellows. Regina's eyes snapped open and then cringed at the clear autumn sun flooding their room.

She tried stretching herself and stopped after feeling the dull aches shooting through her limbs and the hot tendrils of fire stabbing up from her bandaged feet. Right, how could she forget that she was once again crippled? She moved to prop herself upright when her hand landed on Emma's.

She jerked it away, startled by the coldness she wasn't expecting to feel. Her arm remained suspended while she stared down at the offending hand. It was resting casually on her bed, but her palm was facing up, instead of flat on the sheets, like it always was. That slight change in position completely unnerved the brunette. It seemed like an invitation, or a quiet beseeching.

She had been housed with the unconscious Savior for less than twenty-four hours and it already felt like Emma was intruding. That thought was ridiculous, of course, because how could she be? She was cursed. Could her suddenly close and constant proximity to the woman be causing this? Hadn't Emma always responded to Regina's touch? Hadn't she always- No.

She cursed under her breath that she had allowed Rumple to get under her skin so easily. His words were meant to manipulate her into doing something that was probably another part of his grand plan, one that she was thoroughly sick of playing.

Regina shifted, and placed her hand beside Emma's, definitely not on the offered hand. The mayor realized that there was absolutely nothing in the room to distract her from her still-racing thoughts and put her mind at ease. No news papers, no books, hell, she would even settle for a magazine.

Then, as though knowing how impossibly bored she would soon become, Henry knocked on the glass with a nervous-looking Mary Margaret standing behind him. Her face split into a wide smile, and she motioned for him to come in.

"Hey, Mom!"

"Henry! I'm so glad to- shouldn’t you be in school?"

He rolled his eyes at her, going to sit next to his birthmother. "I don't have to be there for about 15 minutes. I wanted to check on you."

It was not lost on Regina the way he moved instinctively to Emma's side, or how his eyes kept looking upon her face with what appeared to be trace amounts of horror, or how there was the slight note of disappointment to his voice.

"Thank you, Henry. For coming to see me."

"What did Mr Gold tell you?"

Regina's head snapped up in surprise at the blunt question that was so casually tossed her way. "What do you mean?"

"He said he was gonna help you, but he wouldn't tell me what was going on." He frowned, having never liked being kept in the dark.

"He... He didn't say anything to me." She was lying straight through her teeth again, and she hated herself for doing so. But Rumple was right, Henry did not need to know the information relayed to her.

"Why are you lying to me?" He glared at her, calling her out in a way that definitely screamed Emma.

"I'm not lying to you, Henry. I don't-"

His eyes widened. "Your hands! How come they're not together?"

Regina mentally let out a sigh of relief that he was distractible enough - another trait he clearly inherited from his mother - to let her out of an impending, difficult accusation. "The tape got itchy, dear. And the nurses can't do their jobs if we're stuck together." She smiled sweetly at the boy still putting her under heavy scrutiny.

"But I told you not to! Didn't you see what I wrote?"

"Of course I did, but I can't just stay like that."

"When are you going to see? When will you realize what you need to do?"

"Henry..."

"You promised me. You promised me you'd try."

"No, I promised you that I would think about it.

"How much time can you need? Emma's been like this for a month now! Of course..." He snorted, looking away from the brunette trying to understand him. "You _would_ be that selfish. You're the Evil Queen."

"Henry, don't talk like that. I am Regina, and these things aren't so simple-"

"No, you're just being a coward! Here," he tossed a small bag onto Regina's lap. "I have to go to school." Without another word and not even looking at his adoptive mother, Henry stood up and marched out of the little hospital room.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina woke up late one night, a hot surge of tight pain from her foot rousing her. She propped herself up, never opening her eyes, groaning from the sensation, waiting until it ebbed away to a point where she could once again ignore it. After the angry stabbing had receded, the brunette flopped down. Something cold and lumpy was underneath her.

Her eyes snapped open, and Regina gasped to find herself curled around Emma's unconscious form. It was three days into her hospitalization, and nothing quite like this had happened before. There were times when she would wake up from naps or nightmares to find her fingers laced with the blonde's, or clutching at the woman's arm, but where she found herself now was an entirely new development.

She stayed frozen where she was, torn between all of the things screaming in her head. Part of her was exhausted, sore, and lonely, and she would love nothing more than to curl up with the Savior and drift away again. But the rest of Regina's mind was hounding her to pull away. How could she be so weak? And what if she were found sleeping like that with the sheriff?

It was a bad idea. She propped herself up on one arm again, studying the woman below her closely. There was nothing different about her. Her arms were by her side, her face impassive, and the only difference was that the sheets over her were a little mussed from Regina's limbs tangled over them.

"How do you break me down to nothing when you aren't even awake?" She sighed loudly. "You should be. You should be conscious to counter me, and make me see once more that you are my enemy, not my..." She bit her lip, battling over the word that was threatening to make itself known to both women. "...Anchor." Regina lowered her eyes in a dark scowl, ashamed of herself.

She huffed loudly, completely pulling away from the troublesome woman. She leaned over to the little nightstand beside her bed and pulled a book of Sudoku puzzles from the bag that Henry had brought her. Normally she was remarkably fast at solving them, having liked math and the way numbers fit so seamlessly together. She liked doing other puzzles as well, like crosswords, but they were more ambiguous and less logical. Regina was a calculating woman, and the patterns of the digits suited her just fine.

She frowned at the Sudoku she was currently working on. The little squares seemed to be taunting her. It was her second day working on this one, and still the answers eluded her. Her eraser was starting to run low. There was nothing different or particularly challenging about the puzzle before her, so there was no earthly reason to be struggling with it in the way that she was.

Yet, every time Regina tried to see a pattern, puzzle out the math, she found that her mind was somewhere else entirely. It was thinking about Daniel, then Henry, then Cora, followed by her horrific marriage to the King, then Emma, then Henry again, The Enchanted Forest, Crushing her first heart, Daniel's turning to dust. Graham's betrayal, kissing Emma, Rumple's manipulations, Cora, her father, Daniel's lips, Emma's lips, Snow biting the apple, pushing her mother through the mirror. Sending so many children to the Blind Witch, Henry running away from her...

Regina bent over the edge of the bed, retching and watching yellowish bile dribble from her mouth onto the floor. She hung over the edge, unsure if there was more to come. Her head was pounding, and her abdomen aching from the broken ribs that Whale kindly informed her of having. A slight sheen of sweat peppered her brow. She couldn't remember the last time she threw up, and it left her feeling ever so slightly helpless, sensing the smallest desire to want to be taken care of. She hit the little button to page a nurse. Her sick needed to be cleaned up, and Regina really wanted something to knock her out.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina picked at the breakfast she was brought. The coffee was watery, the eggs were tasteless and her bagel was, well, she couldn't quite bring herself to even classify it as a bagel. The only thing that she had consumed entirely from her tray was the little cup of applesauce.

A nurse came in about a half hour later to pick up her tray, and Dr Whale was following closely behind. He met her gaze with a smile that didn't quite make its way to his eyes.

"Doctor," Regina said curtly.

"Good morning, Madame Mayor. Not very hungry this morning?" He eyed the tray of mostly-uneaten food.

"It's a wonder I haven't starved to death, considering what poor excuses for food you keep serving me."

"This is a hospital, not a five-star restaurant. Maybe your boy will bring you a treat from Granny's. Funny," he said without humor. "I haven't seen him here for _you_ , in a few days."

"What?"

"Well, he seems to make he visits his birthmother while you're napping. Strange that he doesn't feel the need to wake you," he sneered. Regina shot him the most venomous look she could muster, her mouth opening to retort, but he cut her off. "But I'm sure that's a talk for you to have with Henry. I am here to have a look at your feet."

The mayor chewed on her tongue, biting back all of the fury that was welling within her. His groin was mere inches from her heel, and she wanted nothing more than to slam it into him. The only thing that stopped her was the image of Henry's disappointed face.

Whale gently pulled back the wrappings, and Regina clenched her fists slightly at the sudden onslaught of cold air on the soles of her feet. His brow knit together while he studied her healing wounds.

"Is something wrong?"

"Tell me, have you felt any unusual tightness in the skin around your injuries?"

"Yes, I have. Is something wrong?" she repeated with a little more harshness to notify him of her rapidly depleting patience.

"Well... it would appear that your stitches are ready to come out, and you've healed at an alarmingly fast rate."

Regina sat up on her elbows looking hard at the doctor. "What did you say?"

"Your stitches, some of them have already popped open. I need to remove them immediately. I'm not sure what's happening, but I want to keep you here for the remainder of the day for observation. Once we see how you're doing, we might be able to discharge you tomorrow."

The mayor's head snapped back. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm going to have someone come see you today to test how well you walk. Once we gauge your progress with that, then we can really talk about when we can discharge you."

The former Queen knew what she needed to do. It didn't matter if it killed her to walk on her own two feet, she was going to do it, and show no pain. Masking her feelings was something she perfected decades ago, doing this would be a cakewalk - no pun intended - She just needed to get out of the tiny hospital room and away from Emma.

Once again, Regina endured the uncomfortable sensation of sutures being severed a pulled away, but from both feet this time. Whale was quick and quiet, knowing the mayor was in no mood for idle banter. Especially after the comments he made about Henry. He finished, observed his handiwork and held up a mirror for Regina to see.

The bottoms of her feet were definitely going to bear heavy scars, and these were going to be scars that the woman was glad weren't going to be shown to many. Though she wore the history of her battles proudly, these blemishes were not ones of triumph or strength. What was happening to her was something she desperately wanted to keep quiet, despite the fact that the whole town already knew something was up. The mayor was simply glad that the only ones who genuinely knew the truth were Rumple and herself, not that she believed a word the imp had told her.

Regina was flexing and wiggling her feet, enjoying the fact that they were no longer bound, nor required to be kept as still as possible. She wasn't a particularly fidgety woman - those habits had been forcibly subdued by her mother; no queen fidgets - but the brunette found that the longer she was supposed to remain still or composed, the stronger the desire to do so became. So, since having stitches again, she wasn't supposed to move her feet too much. In combination with her unusually-restless thoughts, all the brunette wanted to do was fret her feet around.

Now that she was freed, she was busy getting all of the squirms out of her system while she could. No one told her when a physical therapist was supposed to show up to see how well she could walk, but Regina was starting to get desperate. She was a woman of action, and lying around wasn't exactly her cup of tea.

The brunette was busy tapping her toes to a made up rhythm, trying to ignore the growing ache pounding over her left eye. Her brain still felt like a slideshow of her past put on fast-forward. Each memory, action, and face made itself known just long enough for her to recognize it before dashing away to reveal the next image.

She rubbed her eyes, vainly hoping that would help to alleviate the pain threatening to spread throughout her skull. Regina pulled her hands away and looked at them, forcing herself to concentrate. She knew why Henry had put their hands together, even if he wasn't privy to that information. Rumple said that she was losing it because she was cut off from Emma. The Savior grounded her, and Henry knew it. She made a promise to only person she truly loved in her life.

Regina placed her hand on top of the blonde's and heard the responding jump in heartbeat. The brunette felt the intensity of her headache recede slightly, and the maelstrom of thoughts crashing around her brain seemed to settle like the pieces on a Boggle board finally fall into place. Nothing was organized, and her emotions felt strained, but things felt a little more _right_ for Regina in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I have a Tumblr for those of you who are interested! Link is here: writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	15. The Final Push - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina makes her move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for staying with me, and supporting me while I write this. It's been a wild ride, and it really was so difficult for me to get this chapter out. I know you'll enjoy it, so have fun!

The physical therapist scheduled to see the mayor arrived shortly after 1pm. He was a kindly-looking man in his mid-fifties and well-dressed. A wheelchair was in front of him while he smiled at the brunette. He helped her out of the bed and down onto the chair, saying very little, which was good, because Regina definitely wasn't in the mood for chatting. She wanted to get the tests over with so she could go home.

"So, that's an unusual arrangement you've got back there," he said lightly while pushing her down the hall.

"Yes, well, my son insisted that the sheriff and I room together."

"Children are interesting like that. Did he say why?"

"No," Regina lied.

"Kids can be...enigmatic like that."

"I love my son, and I would do anything and everything in the world for him." A hot wave of guilt washed over her. "If that means sharing a room with that...woman, then I will. And I have, clearly."

"You must take excellent care of him. I bet he's visited you a lot while you've been here." His words were like lemon juice on a paper cut.

"Yes, he's been...very affectionate," she lied again.

"It must be nice to have that kind of love in your life. Anyway, here we are! Let's get you walking, Ms Mills."

They entered a small, brightly-lit room. There was a table along the eastern wall, accompanied by several chairs. A long railing ran along the wall straight ahead of her, and two sets of railings parallel to each other ran down the middle of the room, and the western wall was made entirely of mirrors.

The therapist, who introduced himself as Rodger, positioned the brunette's chair in front of the parallel rails, facing the wall of mirrors so that she could watch herself walk. He helped her out of the wheelchair, a small, encouraging smile playing across his lips. He could tell that she was reluctant to take the hands he offered, but he reassured the woman that he was only going to guide her to the railings.

The rest went fairly smoothly from there. Regina found that there was minimal pain her feet, nothing she couldn't manage. Her legs were kind of shaky, but she really only needed the railings for two laps before she was holding her hands above them and walking with no support.

They were together for less than an hour before Roger was confident that Regina was indeed healed and strong enough to be mobile unaided. He walked her back to the little room, chatting lightly now that the mayor was in a much better mood. She was holding herself high, looking just about as regal as she usually did on any given day.

She saw the curtains drawn around Emma's bed, and her heart jumped into her throat, fearing something bad. She quelled that thought immediately, remembering that the sheriff needed to be bathed by her caretakers. She had been present for these bathings before, and felt no desire intrude upon any more of them.

The mayor snuck into the room, grabbed her regular clothes and walked to the bathroom. It was time to get rid of the infernal hospital gowns that she had been made to wear for the past four days. She shed the shapeless garment and slipped into her neatly-pressed slacks and cashmere blouse, and breathed a contented sigh of relief.

Regina walked over to the mirror, intending to try and tame her hair, but stopped when she looked closely at her reflection. She knew that she had carved up her face during the incident that landed her in the hospital, but she had been avoiding mirrors for that exact reason.

The entire reflective wall in the physical therapy room she was in had presented a bit of a problem, but her reflection was dwarfed by distance, and she did everything she could not to look at her face.

But here, she was standing right in front of the glass. She could not avoid it any further. When Regina's brown eyes lifted to look at the woman staring back, her mouth fell open in complete horror. She knew that the scratches weren't pretty; she had rubbed the scabs many times while wiping the sleep from her eyes, but it looked significantly worse than she originally imagined.

Before her was a face with eight lengthy, jagged, red lines dragging down the features of her hard face. Some of the scabs were peeling, and now Regina understood why Henry was having a hard time looking at her. She looked like she got on the wrong side of Red during Wolf's Time.

Strange, she thought, that the gashes on her feet should heal as quickly as they did, but the scrapes across her face made no sign of following suit. She shifted, averting her eyes, repulsed by her own appearance. She needed to leave. Immediately. Regina wanted to get back to the privacy of her mansion where she could heal in peace.

She stormed out of the bathroom, internally wincing every time one of her feet slammed into the hard ground. She gathered up her belongings with a furious haste. Regina was checking out, and no one was going to stop her. She was about to leave the tiny room, when she stopped.

The mayor turned around to look at the blonde. Something stirred in her chest, and felt suddenly as though she was abandoning the sheriff, just like everyone else did in Emma's life. That thought disturbed Regina, and her chest constricted even tighter. This was dangerous, her head was aching and she just needed to get home. Whatever words may have been on her lips died in her newfound rush to leave the hospital.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The mayor found herself back in her mansion, stiff drink in hand and Ibuprofen on board. The emptiness of her home since Henry left usually bothered her, but in that moment, the quiet was a soothing balm. No beeping instruments, no nurses coming in to check on her or Emma at all hours of the day, no more substandard hospital food. Just peace and comfort.

Regina sank down into her favorite armchair, coffee with a healthy dose of Bailey's added beside her, and Tamora Pierce's _Wild Magic_ in her hand. She knew it was a kid's book, but reading stories about what the people of this world imagined magic to be like was always one of her guilty pleasures.

Though her mind was still racing, and her headache never fully disappeared, the brunette was starting to feel much more relaxed than she had been for the past few days. Yes, space from the troublesome blonde and everyone else was definitely what she needed, along with a few creature comforts.

She was just starting to think about taking a hot shower when the sound of the lock on her front door clicking open met her sensitive ears. She froze, hearing the door swinging open, waiting to hear any other sounds the intruder might make.

"Mom?" She heard the door swing shut. "Mom, are you home?"

It was Henry! "Yes, dear! I'm coming!" She rushed into the foyer, swooping down to give her son a tight hug. He only half-heartedly returned the embrace.

"You're...You're walking!"

"Yes. Dr Whale said that I healed remarkably fast." It wasn't lost on Regina how Henry still had trouble looking at her marred face.

"You left?"

"Of course, dear. There was no sense in me staying there when it was no longer necessary."

"But I thought..."

"What were you thinking?" She already knew what he was musing about. It seemed to be the only thing Henry wanted to discuss with her.

"I just thought that if you were with Emma long enough, you would see..."

"Henry, I've tried to tell you that this isn't some fantasy. Kissing Emma will not wake her up, and-"

"How would you know if you haven't even _tried!_ You promised, Mom! If you break this promise, I'm never going to talk to you again!" He glared fiercely at her with a steady determination that would have made the Evil Queen proud, were it not directed at her. Regina's temper flared. She had just started to relax, feel a little more normal, and the presence of her son magnified that, until now.

"You didn't even talk to me before!" she spat without thinking. She clapped her hands to her mouth at the shocked look on his face. "Henry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!" But he was gone, and all she saw was the door to 108 Mifflin slamming shut.

She fell to her knees where she stood, hands still masking her mouth, hot tears splashing down her face. When had things spun so out of control for her? The sting of her tears in some of the scabs seemed to shake her from her moment of weakness, but instead of recomposing herself like she normally did, Regina flew into a full-blown tantrum. She started screaming, throwing anything she could get her hands on, slamming her fists into as many solid objects near her that she could reach until her knuckles bled, leaving ugly, crimson smears on her perfect home.

Regina was in the bathroom, running icy water over her maimed hands. It never failed to amaze the woman how the smallest drop of blood spread so far in a large amount of water. She watched as the sanguine liquid swirled around the drain before disappearing.

Her head was pounding harder than a blacksmith at the anvil, and the thought of applying peroxide to her new wounds was less than appealing. There was little point in keeping her hands under the cold stream any longer; it was only preventing the splits from clotting.

She turned off the faucet and watched as fresh blood swiftly wicked through the rivulets of water that still clung to her skin. She pulled a tissue from a box on the back of the toilet and wiped it all away, leaving the blood to simply well over the wounds.

Regina had already pulled out gauze pads, peroxide, Neosporin and bandages ahead of time. She poured some of the peroxide onto a fresh gauze pad and dabbed lightly at the knuckles on her left hand. She hissed through her teeth, the liquid burning like fire. Regina found herself pressing harder and over a slightly larger area; the pain felt real and tangible. It was grounding. It was loud enough for her to push back all of the roiling thoughts clashing around in her head.

She pressed a new pad against her right hand, watching little spots of blood blossom through it, hissing once more in pain; however, this hiss seemed to be more of pleasure than hurt. She was enjoying the sensations sprinting from her hands to her brain and then back again. It was a rush.

Once she finished treating and wrapping up her knuckles, exhaustion stole over her. She wasn't expecting as much emotional and physical trauma as she had experienced, and now her frayed nerves and over-worked body were paying the price. She dragged herself from the bathroom and collapsed onto her bed, not even bothering to undress.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The following day was quiet in a way that the mayor was no longer enjoying. Her headache grew increasingly persistent, the only aspect of the silence she was grateful for. Normally, she would have put on some soft jazz to fill the emptiness, but any noise felt like the beating of a war drum in her head.

But her hands were aching not only from splitting all of her knuckles open, but from all of the bruising that blossomed around them. The insistent, stabbing aches made cleaning up the mess from her fit even more unpleasant than it already was. She came down the stairs that morning to see shattered china, scattered books, coats torn from the closet and all manner of various objects strewn about her house. Peppered across it were the brown spots of dried blood and ugly smears on walls and cabinets.

The many long hours she spent tidying, sweeping, scrubbing and stowing Regina could not stop thinking about Henry and what she said to him. It had been cruel and spiteful, but the brunette could not find it within herself to admit that what she said was untrue, because it wasn't.

Henry had not talked to her after his birthmother fell under the Sleeping Curse. He had avoided her, moved in with her enemy, and ignored all of her calls and every attempt at contact. He only started making nice with Regina once he found out that she might be the one to wake Emma. He didn't love her. She was simply a means to an end.

But then again... He had spoken of actually having a family with his mothers if Regina woke the Savior. However, he might have said that to whoever proved to be the blonde's True Love. His statement wasn't unique to her. She sighed heavily as she emptied the last of the evidence of her fit into the trash.

The mayor looked around her. Everything was spotless once more, but she noticed how much more bare everything felt. There were holes where things used to stand, photos in frames missing from shelves and all other knick-knacks that decorated her home.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Mary Margaret's number, hoping she could talk to Henry and apologize. The number of unanswered rings piled up until she heard the irritating woman's sickly-sweet voice on her voice mail. Regina had a long rant lined up, but thought once again about her son. Instead, she hit the End button and pocketed the device.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

 

It was late in the evening, around a quarter after 11, and the mayor was lounging on a bench out on her back patio. She was nursing a glass of very dry red wine, enjoying the cold, salty Maine air and admiring her apple tree from afar.

For the first time since those fleeting hours earlier that morning Regina Mills felt a little more at ease. Yes, she was still kicking herself for what she said to Henry, and her body never failed to tell her that it was in disrepair, but it was quiet, the crickets were singing and the wine was pulling the tension from her body. She felt a sudden warming of the air to her left.

"Nice evening, isn't it?" a voice she had not heard for decades, but knew like no other sounded next to her. Regina looked to her left, and Daniel was sitting beside her, smiling softly. She was so startled that a yelp escaped her lips and she fell off the bench.

"Daniel?"

"What has happened to you, my love? Where have you gone?"

"Are you...? Are you real?" Regina remained sprawled across the dew-kissed grass, heart hammering, and fear pounding through her.

"For you, my Regina, I will always be real."

"But you're dead." Tears were running down her face.

"Oh... I suppose I am." He looked down at his chest where a gaping hole where is heart should be was spilling blood down his jerkin. "Where did you go?"

"I never left, I swear! I never stopped loving you!"

"And I never stopped loving you, Regina, but you're..." Tears were running down his own face now. "You're not her. You fell into despair, and by doing so, lost your way. Come back to me." He held out his hand, smiling in the way he knew would disarm her completely. Regina lunged from the ground, thrusting her hand to meet his, but her fingers slid through empty air. She held her fingers in his mirage, willing them to touch, noticing the tingly, almost prickly sensation of settling in his space.

At that moment, Henry Senior, her beloved father came to stand next to Daniel, wearing a look of deep sorrow. His weary eyes lingered on the almost-joined hands of his daughter and her former lover. "Regina..." He sighed. He too had a bleeding hole in his chest from where she ripped his heart out.

"Daddy?"

"My daughter, I was your price for this Curse."

"Daddy, I am so sorry! I-" He held up a hand to stop her.

"I was your price. You told me this would make you happy. You said this," he gestured around himself. "Was your happy ending. But, I'm looking at you, and I have been watching you, and I don't see a happy ending."

"Daddy..." she wept, still keeping her hand where Daniel's was outstretched to. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, my Regina, but I think you know where your happy ending lies. You were always strong. Don't run from-" But he started choking on his words, grabbing at his throat that seemed incapable of producing any further sounds.

A heartless chuckle that Regina knew all too well came from behind her. She whipped around and saw Cora, in all of her royal raiment, standing beneath the apple tree. The smile she wore was heartless and turned her daughter's blood to ice.

"Oh, Regina. Just how many times do I have to tell you that _love is weakness?_ " Cora began a slow advance, and the mayor scrambled to her feet in response, backing away, but staying in a somewhat protective stance in front of her father and lover.

"Just look at you. It's pathetic!" she spat. "I did everything to make you strong. I did everything to make you powerful. Yet, you always insist on throwing it away for something that will always betray you.

"Your stable boy is gone, you killed your huntsman, your son has abandoned you, and none of your subjects love you, Regina. You are _alone._ "

Something snapped in the brunette at her mother's words about her son. "NO! I am NOT alone, Mother! I will _never_ be alone!"

The same heartless laughter echoed around them. "Oh, you think your little sheriff will stand by you? She's a runner Regina, and she has made you weak. Just look at yourself; you're nothing. You were a Queen, thanks to me, and now you're just an empty, squirming worm."

Regina felt a scream tear its way from her throat, and she flew forward swinging at her mother. Her fist sailed through more empty air, and the fallen Queen stumbled through the illusion of her mother. More bone-chilling laugher followed her.

"See? You're weak, Regina!"

The brunette turned and ran as fast as she could, trying to get as far away from the cackling that was swirling all around her. Daniel was always in front of her, holding out his hand, wearing the sad smile that broke her heart a thousand times over. But the closer she tried to advance, the farther from her drifted.

Her father hovered near her, unable to talk, but never taking his woeful eyes from his daughter. She swung out at him a few times while chasing her beloved, hating the way Henry's eyes made her feel like a little girl again.

Cora seemed to be on all sides, jeering at her, scolding her, and never ceasing in her brutal, mirthless cackling. Regina was flailing her arms, yelling at all of the apparitions of her mother, calling out for her Daniel, and spewing apologies to her mute father. Her eyes were popping, and spittle was flying from her mouth.

There was no doubt that some of the inhabitants of Storybrooke got an eyeful of their always-stoic mayor in a full-swing, manic tantrum. It was a terrifying sight, seeing the brunette thrashing around, shrieking names and curses, looking like some wretched creature escaped from its cage. Because of that alone, none dared approach her. All just stopped and stared, feeling slightly queasy from the show being put on.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina followed her stable boy, completely unaware of where he was leading her. Her arms and shoulders were getting weak from her fruitless flailing, and her voice was rough and hoarse from screams and pleadings that fell on deaf ears. She eventually gave up on the punches, knowing that they were getting her nowhere. Instead, Regina covered her ears, yelling and moaning because of all the voices in her head.

She stumbled forward toward Daniel, who still held his hand out, waiting for her to take it. She swiped out for it occasionally, hoping to connect with the man who was so savagely wrenched from her.

She collided solidly with two heavy glass doors, briefly stunned from the contact. She pushed past them, vaguely aware of where she was being led, but none of that mattered. Regina needed to get to Daniel. He would fix her; mend all of the cracks in her heart.

She clambered down the tiled hallways, occasionally slamming against a wall, her screaming diminished into croaky moans and whimpers. Her stable boy halted, lowering his hand, smiling knowingly at her.

"Daniel...?"

"It's time, Regina." His voice was clear and strong, smothering all of the jeering and cackling coming from the dozens of Cora's surrounding her.

"For what?"

"Let me show you."

He turned and strode through the glass wall to a room that she knew all too well, but wasn't concerned with at the moment. She finally found the strength to move her feet, and entered the tiny space with him. He sat down on a bed, sitting on his side and gesturing her to join him.

A smile split across Regina's blemished, bloodless face. She started to move to him when all of the Cora's materialized into one right in front of her, smiling wickedly, halting the fallen Queen in her tracks. They stood there, facing the other for several long moments, silence falling thickly around them.

And then her mother was everywhere again, but the other mirages were more translucent than the one in front of her, and that was the one that drew all of the brunette's focus. Cora turned, facing away from her daughter, landing her gaze on the still-beseeching man. Her arm rose into the air, her fingers arching severely, and it dawned on Regina what her mother was going to do in front of her again.

"NO!" The brunette flew forward, through her mother and flung herself on top of Daniel to shield him from Cora's wrath. In one cold burst of clarity, every apparition surrounding her vanished, and the only sounds were Regina's panting and the quickening heartbeat of the Savior.

She regarded the woman below her with wide eyes. Daniel led her here? To show her Emma? He said it was time. She stayed positioned over the sleeping sheriff, frozen in place. Something brought her back. The blonde brought her back. Emma Swan pulled Regina from her madness, just like Rumple had said. Just like Henry knew she would.

 

_Emma was her anchor._

Without thinking, Regina cupped the blonde's face in her hands, leaned down and crushed her lips to the other woman's. The heat in the Savior's lips flashed through the Queen's entire being, and all of the precarious, teetering piles of thoughts and emotions in her head fell down into neat stacks.

She heard a sharp inhale beneath her. Regina snapped her eyes open, and saw emerald ones staring back. Tears welled up at the simple presence of a gaze she didn't realize she had missed so much, and there was nothing she could do to fight back the smile the painted her lips.

"Regina?" Emma croaked. She wasn't smiling. She was just frowning with confusion at the position she found herself in. "What's happening? Where am I?"

The brunette scrambled off of the bed, face stricken with horror. She broke the Sleeping Curse. Henry was right. Rumplestiltskin was right. Regina felt like she might throw up. She clamped her hand over her mouth, afraid to say anything, tears rushing down her face once more. She turned and fled, hearing the echoes of the woman's voice chasing her down the hall.

 

"Regina?"

 

_"REGINA...!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to find me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


	16. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma is awake and confused as hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the wait on this next chapter. I had no idea how to handle it and address all of the stuff that's going on. I hope this is satisfactory. Secondly, if there's any confusion about the state of the Curse, it's still intact. Emma is the one destined to break it, not Regina. So Regina's kiss only broke the sleeping curse. Lastly, for those of you who missed the little update I made, here's a playlist I made for this story: http:// 8tracks. com/writers-dilemma/are-you-gonna-stay-the-night

Emma stared after the retreating woman, a flurry of emotions storming through her. Why the hell was that woman in her room in the middle of the night? And what the fuck was she doing sitting on top of her? More over, why the hell is she in the hospital? Where is Henry?

Emma collapsed back onto her pillows, feeling weak and confused while her head started throbbing painfully. She fumbled around with her hands until she found the button to page a nurse. She needed answers desperately, and the longer she waited, the more she felt like she was going insane.

Dr Whale and a small herd of nurses showed up in her room almost instantaneously, but the relief she felt was quickly clouded over when she realized that they needed to examine her in a billion different ways before they would tell her what the hell was going on.

Not known for her patience, Emma swatted away a nurse, her temper flaring, despite the weakness that still weighed her down heavily. "Hey, Whale, what's going on? Why am I here?"

A quick nod from him and the nurses backed off immediately. "Emma, tell me, what's today's date?" His voice was light, cleverly masking the implications of the question.

No matter the tone of voice he used, the blonde felt like a stone settled into her stomach. She scrunched up her face in concentration. "Uh... It's August 20th or something, right?"

Whale made a note on the chart he had open in his hands. "What's the last thing that you remember?"

The stone in her stomach gained another thirty pounds. She scrunched up her face again. "I... I remember...leaving work, and I was driving to see someone. And..." She blew a frustrated puff of air from her lips. "That's the last thing I remember."

Whale made another note. "That's just fine, Emma. Don't force your memory."

"Sure, but will you tell me why I'm here? What happened to me?"

A small, sad smile tugged at the corners of Dr Whale's mouth. "Emma, you've been in a coma for about a month now."

"WHAT? What do you mean I've been in a coma!? Did I get in an accident? Did any one else get hurt? Wha-"

Whale silenced her by placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. "If you keep up the questions, Emma, I'll never get a chance to answer." Her mouth snapped shut. "We received a 9-1-1 from Henry the night of the 21st. You were collapsed and unconscious when we arrived, but all of your vitals were strong and stable."

"H-Henry found me?" Her voice was suddenly small and fearful like a child's.

"He most certainly did."

"Is he...is he okay?"

Whale smiled warmly at his patient. "He's doing just fine. He's been here just about every day to check on you. He's brought you flowers and hounded me like a dog for any changes in your condition."

Emma's lip trembled as hot tears sprung up in her eyes. "Really?" A watery smile broke out on her face as the tears spilled over, endlessly touched at the love he was giving her.

"Why don't you just rest for a little while? I'm going to call Mary Margaret and Henry. I'm sure they will be here in the blink of an eye."

"Thanks. Hey, uh, has Re- Never mind," she mumbled to a curious-looking Whale.

Everyone left except for one nurse who stayed to feed Emma ice chips and continue to monitor her. True to his prediction, it wasn't long before a small flurry of limbs and smiles came barreling into her room. Henry launched himself at her, almost knocking the wind out of his birthmother.

"You're awake! You're awake! I've missed you so much! You're awake!"

"I've missed you too, Kid," the blonde murmured into the top of his head, holding him as tightly as she could - which wasn't very tight considering how weak all of her limbs were. Henry finally broke away, positively beaming with pure, unbridled delight.

Mary Margaret swooped in to give her roommate a gentle hug. "Welcome back, Emma."

"Thanks."

"So can you come home tonight," Henry blurted. Both women smiled at his ever-endearing optimism.

"I wish, Kid. Whale needs to keep me here for a few more days for observations and stuff."

Something clicked in Emma's brain, and she turned her focus to her son, "Hey, d'you think I could talk with Mary Margaret alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure." He gave her another rib-cracking hug before leaving to go sit in the waiting area outside her room, a definite bounce to his step.

"Is something bothering you?" the brunette offered lightly, moving to take the unoccupied chair beside Emma's bed.

"Yeah, why did Henry come here with _you?_ Should he be with his mom?"

Mary Margaret shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and Emma shot her a piercing look. "He's... Well, he's been living with me since you went under."

Emma's jaw dropped. He's been _what?_ "

"You have to understand; Henry suffered a trauma."

"When he found me."

"Yes... And he's convinced that Regina poisoned you. I don't think he could handle living under the same roof as the person he believes to have attempted to murder his birthmother."

"And Regina just _let_ that happen?"

A contemplative frown creased Mary Margaret's forehead. "Surprisingly enough, she did. Not that anyone's seen much of her either." She answered Emma's questioning glance by saying, "She's become really reclusive since you went into your coma. She almost entirely stopped working at the Town Hall, choosing to work from her mansion instead. Barely leaves except to go shopping for necessities." The frown only deepened on Emma's face. "And then she went and got herself-"

"What? She got herself what?"

"I'm sorry, that's not something that I should be talking about. Especially not right now. You need your rest, Emma. We'll stop by tomorrow morning before school starts." Mary Margaret offered an apologetic smile.

Emma gave a noncommittal grunt, slumping back into her bed. She watched her best friend escort her son away, feeling an intense tug in her heart. She burrowed herself down under the blankets, only just noticing how cold she felt. She shivered deeply, balling her body up and rubbing her arms to try and shake the chill that decided to settle itself deeply within her.

Try as she might, the Savior could neither warm up nor sleep. She tossed and turned, comfortable in a position for only a few brief minutes. No matter what, she found that being on her back was acutely uncomfortable, which she attributed to having been lying on it for a whole month.

Every time she tried to sleep, something whispered in her brain telling her not to. Her eyes would slowly drift open, and the blonde would moan in frustration. It would appear that she has a lot of awake time to make up for.

Several times throughout the night a nurse would come in to take her blood pressure, temperature and record her vitals. The first time that happened, she asked the woman who came in for extra blankets. Emma also asked what her temperature was, frowning when she was told that it was completely normal.

The blankets didn't help; she was still shivering when she watched the room grow lighter and lighter with the rising sun. She was leafing through a magazine, trying to distract herself from her growling stomach when one of the nurses entered, carrying a tray.

"Oh yes! Food! I'm starving!"

"Here ya go," she chuckled, placing the tray before her.

The sheriff's face fell when she looked at her meal. "This is all I get?" She stared at the English muffin, ice water and tiny fruit cup.

"Dr Whale doesn't want you to over-do it, so he's starting you out on something light, just to see how the food goes down."

"Can I at least have some coffee? I didn't get any sleep last night. I'm cold as hell, too. Hot coffee would be great."

"You're cold?"

"Freezing. Felt like I've been in a freezer all night. Extra blankets and stuff hasn't helped or anything."

The nurse frowned. "Your chart says that your temperature has been normal all night." She moved forward and placed her forearm against the blonde's brow. She yanked it away almost immediately, a tiny gasp tumbling from her lips. Before Emma could ask what was going on, she felt the long prong of the thermometer being poked between her lips.

"Now that _is_ odd," she said when the device beeped.

"What? What's odd? Am I gonna die?"

"My, you jump to conclusions fast! No, I don't think you're going to die, but you _do_ feel cold as ice, but your temperature still reads normal. I'll notify Dr Whale. In the mean time, eat."

"That's it? You sure I'm not gonna die?"

"Yes, I'm sure you're not going to die. Enjoy your breakfast, and I'll have someone bring you some coffee."

That last bit relaxed Emma a little bit more before she turned her attention to the measly excuse for a meal. It wasn't long after she had finished eating that Dr Whale entered her room. He looked fresh and awake, the exact opposite of how the blonde was feeling.

He glanced down at the contents of her tray. "Don't like apples?"

She looked at the uneaten slices in her fruit cup. "I usually do, but when I think about eating them now, I just feel sick. Weird, huh?"

"It's not all that unusual for people to have sudden shifts in their tastes. I know that I used to hate gin and tonics for the longest times; now, they're my favorite drink."

"I'm more of a Jack 'n Coke kind of person," she says.

"Mm. Anyway, Nurse Peters tells me that you're unusually cold, but your body temperature appears normal?"

As if answering his question, a huge shiver wracked her body, and she nodded in the affirmative. He too jammed a thermometer into her mouth, announces her normal body temperature and then places his arm against her head.

Unlike Nurse Peters, he didn't act as though he had received an electric shock, but the slight hardening of his face was not lost on the blonde. He then poked and prodded around the rest of her body, staying quiet in concentration.

"Well, your body is exhibiting an unusual display of chills, yet still reading a normal body temperature. However, this isn't new."

"What d'you mean?"

"Ever since you were brought in, your body has been cold to the touch. There wasn't a whole lot to do about it, and quite frankly, we didn't know what to do. You were stable, and your temp never changed. The best I can do right now is get you an electric blanket and keep you under close surveillance."

"Brilliant."

"If it's any comfort, Sheriff, your life doesn't appear to be in any danger. Oh, before I forget, I'm going to have to put you through physical therapy as a part of your recovery. Nothing major, but a month of being inactive has left your muscles atrophied. I'm certain you've felt the weakness in your body, and if you tried to walk right now, you would most likely collapse. The physical therapy will correct that."

Emma made another noncommittal grunt, her mind still lingering on what he said about her life not being in danger. Apparently he didn't know that she woke up to find none other than Regina Mills hovering over her. She was no doubt preparing to throttle her in her sleep, finally getting her out of the way once and for all. Emma's stomach twisted at the thought.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

It was a dizzying and exhausting several days during the remainder of her hospitalization. It was a blur of tests, questions, visitors, physical therapy, more questions, more tests and some very sleepless nights.

She asked the doctor why she was finding sleep so difficult, and he attributed it to stress, restlessness, and being in an environment that wasn't her home. All of which sounded plausible, but the stubborn sheriff still thought that it was her body making her catch up on a month's worth of wakefulness. The sleeping aids that they had her on only served to give her a few stolen hours of fitful sleep, waking up feeling haunted by dreams that she couldn't remember.

So when the day came for her to be discharged, she waited impatiently for her roommate and son to arrive and escort her home. She still wasn't allowed to drive, and had to walk with the assistance of a cane, something she loathed deeply.

Emma was sitting cross-legged on her bed, dressed in her usual attire that she had her faithful roomie bring to her, tongue poking out between her teeth while she puzzled over a cross word in the paper. She avoided every other ounce of the issue splayed across her lap after one of the nurses showed her the article Sidney wrote about her.

It was utterly saccharine and optimistic, telling of the miracle of the sheriff's awakening after her weeks of unconsciousness, the cause of which was still shrouded in mystery. Honestly, the way he spun that tale, August would have been proud. She felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of her enigmatic friend.

Fortunately, she was spared the discomfort of the path her mind was surely taking her down when she heard the door to her room open. "Mom!"

"Hey, Kid!" She looked at her son, whose face was alight with joy, her eyes tracking from his face to the mess of ribbons fisted in his little hand that led up to some merrily-bobbing balloons.

"Aww, you got me balloons? Ooo! Those are the ones with helium! Have you ever sucked helium from a balloon, Kid?"

He made a face that was a cross between disgust and curiosity. "No. Why would I want to do that? Wouldn't I choke or something?"

"Seriously? You're ten, what kid doesn't know about what helium does to your voice?"

"Mom said that I would suffocate, or get brain damage, or something bad."

Of course Regina would do that. She planned to change his idea about the cheery balloons when they got home, but the teeniest little cough pulled her from her scheming.

"Dr Whale says that you've completed all of the paperwork for your discharge; I think it's time you came home, Emma." Mary Margaret gave her a warm smile.

"You don't have to tell me twice." She abandoned the cross word she was failing miserably at, hopping off of the bed with a little too much zeal. Her legs gave a nasty wobble while she felt her head swim with dizziness. The blonde cupped her forehead in one hand while clutching to the edge of the bed with the other.

Her vision cleared momentarily, revealing two faces shining with worry. "Don't worry, guys. I just stood up too fast. I still get kinda woozy from that. Doc says it'll pass, and it's been getting better."

She scooped up the cane that was resting against the little table beside her bed, leaning on it and making a face. Henry stifled a giggle at the sight of his mom hobbling around on a cane.

"Laugh it up, fuzzball. You'll find yourself floating home." She negated her threat with a conspiratorial smile.

"Can't help it," he says bobbing along side Emma, grinning like a goofball. "Granny's way older than you, and even she doesn't need a cane!"

"Yeah, well, she hasn't been in a coma for a month. I'd like to see just how mobile that old coot is after doing what I did." Another teeny cough came from her left. "Sorry, Mary Margaret."

The drive back to the teacher's little apartment was short and full of Henry's incessant chatter, and Emma was content to let it wash over her. She knew that her roomie could tell that she wasn't in the mood for much of anything too taxing. In fact, Emma could tell that her friend knew she needed a hot meal, an even hotter shower, and good, long sleep.

However, if Mary Margaret had known earlier just how tired the blonde would be, well...she wouldn't have done what she did. Emma hobbled through the door to her home, and her eyes practically bugged out of their sockets.

"WELCOME HOME, EMMA!"

She was nearly blasted off her already unstable feet at the greeting that just broke both of her eardrums. The small main floor was decorated with party ribbons, balloons, confetti and other miscellaneous things. Ruby, Leroy, David, Archie, Michael Tillman, and Sister Astrid were all standing in the apartment, beaming at her.

The smell of sweet, sweet junk food hit Emma first, and her stomach gave her permission to pig out the moment she got to the kitchen where all the goodies were. Unfortunately, access to unbridled amounts of food that wasn't from the hospital was inevitably delayed by the onslaught of hugs and happy wishes; all sentimental things that the poor blonde was certainly unaccustomed to.

Thanks to Mary Margaret, who mouthed the need to be quick and gentle behind Emma's back, the sheriff wasn't kept from her precious feast for too long. Once she had finished receiving a gruff pat and grumbled welcome home from Leroy, she made a beeline right for the goodies, Henry and Mary Margaret following.

She tore off a slice of extra cheesy pizza, already having stuffed a handful of chips into her mouth, and she was about to reach for a beer when she heard a little whisper in her ear.

"Those aren't for you," the brunette said, smiling apologetically.

"Seriously? Then... Why are they here?"

"Those are for our guests."

"Aw, come on, Mary Margaret! I've been in a coma for a month. Don't you think I've earned a drink or two?"

"I think you certainly have, but you're not supposed to have any alcohol with the medications you're taking. Here." She shoved a cold bottle into Emma's free hand.

She looked at the label, and she gave her friend an intense stare of disbelief. "Non-alcoholic beer? Seriously?"

"Hey, take what you can get."

"Great, now I have to deal with Leroy while I'm sober _again_."

"Oh, I don't think he'll be touching a drop of alcohol tonight, Em."

Emma looked over to the town's resident drunk, and she immediately noticed whom he was talking to. "I suppose he'll want to stay sober to impress the good Sister?"

"Why would he want to impress a nun?" Henry pipes up.

"You'll know when you get older."

"Ugh, I hate it when grown-ups tell me that! I'm ten, after all. I'm not a little kid anymore!"

"To us grown-ups, Kid, you'll always be a little kid. Besides, you're just the one who pointed out that we were the grown-ups without including yourself in the mix. If you wanted to convince me you were old enough, you just lost your chance." Emma gave the boy a challenging smile, and Henry simply scoffed and skulked away in a manner that he most certainly got from his birthmother. Emma watched him fondly as he wandered over to the TV to put on some cartoons.

"He really missed you, you know that, right?" Mary Margaret caught her companion's attention.

"Yeah?"

"He was scared to death when you collapsed in front of him."

"What did you say?"

"I said he was terrified. I mean, what child wouldn't be-"

"No, I mean, you say he saw what happened to me?"

"You didn't know that?" Alarm crossed the brunette's face.

"No. I was told that he found me, not saw everything. He could tell me! Maybe he could help me fill in those blanks!"

"Memory still not back?"

"Nah. Having retrogrand forgetfulness sucks."

"Retrograde amnesia," Mary Margaret politely corrected.

"Yeah, that." Emma took a swig of her not-beer, making a face at the totally wrong taste.

"Still not sleeping much, either?"

"Nope. Doc says it'll probably clear up once I'm back in a familiar place. Sure hope he's right, 'cause I'm tired as shit." Emma snorted humorlessly. "Go figure, eh? Coma for a month, now I can't sleep at all. I know they say that over sleeping messes up your sleep cycle, but I thought it was a load of bull 'til now."

"Well, a few good nights' sleep, and a little more therapy, and you'll feel like yourself again. You'll probably be allowed back to work in a week or so too! I bet you'll be glad for that, right?"

"Oh yeah. Hey, who's doing my job right now, anyway?"

"David filled in as deputy and acting sheriff. He's awfully handsome with that badge and shoulder holster," the brunette sighed, eyeing the man who held her affections.

Emma gave a little cough to bring Mary Margaret back to reality, and she watched with amusement as her cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. "I never pictured him in law enforcement."

"We kind of expected Ruby to take up the position, but her heart really is with Granny and the diner. David kindly stepped up to the plate, and he's been doing a pretty good job in your stead."

"Good. Maybe he'll want to stay as my deputy; I sure could use some help with all of the paperwork. C'mon, let's go talk to everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, for those of you who are interested, here's my Tumblr: writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	17. Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry is torn between truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally feel like I know where I'm going in the story again. I didn't realize how overwhelming taking on Emma's condition would be, but I've got it down now! Again, thank you all for the lovely comments and likes. Keep 'em coming, they keep me motivated! Enjoy!

Henry mostly stayed to himself during the little party, swimming in his own turmoil. Just when he had finally dealt with the truth about his mother and her feelings for Emma, now he had yet another impossible task thrust upon his shoulders.

Emma didn't remember what had happened to her. She didn't remember trying to run away. She didn't remember her argument with Henry. Worst of all, she didn't remember the nearly deadly turnover that Regina had prepared for her nemesis. Now, the boy was at a loss for what truth to give his birthmother.

There was no doubt that he would soon be questioned by Emma, having overheard Ms Blanchard telling her that he had indeed witnessed what happened to the blonde. But what could he say? If he told Emma that Regina tried to kill her, well... One of two things could happen: She could scoff and refuse to believe the boy, memory still unrepaired, or she could remember and hate Regina forever.

If the latter happened, Henry could lose his newfound hope for a family he had been deprived of since birth. And for a young boy who believed his father dead, the prospect of losing his chance at being a part of something whole made his chest clench oddly.

Henry recalled the day after Emma woke up, rushing over to the mayoral mansion, practically skipping with joy. He knew what had to have happened for the town's beloved sheriff to be free of her coma. He knew his mom had finally done what she was meant to, had finally done what she promised him. He had never felt prouder of her in his short life.

He burst in through the front door, not even bothering to shed his coat, scarf or sneakers. He started shouting excitedly for his mother, peeking in all the rooms, looking for the immaculate mayor, and his new personal hero. The brunette descended from the stairs, hair wet from a shower, and wearing nothing but satin pajamas and a warm robe.

Henry collided into her, giving the shocked woman a huge hug. "You did it! You woke her up! I didn't think you would!" He felt his mother stiffen under his hold.

"I didn't do anything." Her voice was terse, her eyes distant.

Henry pulled away, trying to find the game in her face, but she was impassive, putting up her thickest walls that even he had never managed to see around. "What do you mean? You kissed her, right? Emma's awake, so you must've kissed her. Like you promised."

"Just why would I do anything for that repulsive woman?" Her words cut deep, and she was trying not to pay attention to the hurt in her son's eyes.

"What are you doing? Why are you saying this?"

"I don't know what you mean, Henry. I've kissed nobody, least of all the sheriff."

Henry felt angry tears stinging his eyes. He couldn't seem to figure out what his mom was up to. She had resisted him before on this, but he knew the same thing she did: that only she could wake Emma, and only with a kiss. So why was she pretending? Why wouldn't she look at him?

"Mom...?" He saw her jaw flex at the word. "Why are you _lying?_ " He put more venom into his words than he had intended, but that wasn't his primary concern at the moment.

"I am not lying, Henry." She still spoke in clipped tones, never fully making eye contact.

"Yes you are! Why!? You can tell me the truth!" He stamped his foot petulantly, now beyond frustrated. Regina remained silent, staring straight ahead, arms clasped tightly across her chest. He noticed her knuckles were white with how hard she was gripping her biceps. Something clicked in his brain.

"She doesn't remember," he said quietly. Her eyes flicked down to his briefly, looking for any trace of a lie. "She's got amnesia, and she doesn't remember that you tried to kill her." Henry said the last part evenly, but with a tinge of accusation to his voice, just enough to alert his mother to the truth of things.

"So, if that's why you're scared-"

"I am _not_ scared. Nor will I ever be scared of _anything_ involving that woman," she spat, and Henry felt like she was completely unaware that he was her son, and not some mindless lackey of hers.

"...Emma doesn't have to know," he said in a small voice, feeling guilty for even entertaining the idea. He noticed the slight tremble to her lips when he spoke those words.

"She will, Henry. Retrograde amnesia doesn't last forever." The waver in her voice was almost imperceptible. Almost. But Henry was very acute to those subtle shifts in body language, thanks to his years being raised by the woman standing before him.

"What if she forgives you?" Henry wonders if the hope he injected into his voice would do any good.

"She won't." The words were not only final, but he could also hear the defeat in her voice, a sound that was totally foreign to him in regards to the always confident and victorious mayor he called his mother. It deeply unsettled him.

"She's good. She has to forgive you! You're her True Love! And Love always finds a way!" His earnest words were met with nothing but a disbelieving scoff. He knew right then that there would be no dissuading the brunette from what she had convinced herself of. At least not right then.

"I'm really disappointed in you, Mom." He chose those words precisely, knowing that they would do the most damage before turning his back on her. He never saw the tears rolling down the pale cheeks of the rigid woman as he walked out of the door.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry was really only pretending to read the comic in his hands while he wrestled with himself. A few people tried to talk to him during the party, but he made it politely clear that he wasn't too interesting in socializing. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts for the time being.

What if Emma _did_ hate Regina for what she did? Not that anyone could really blame her; after all, Regina did try to murder her with a turnover. Even so, Henry couldn't fight the knots twisting in his stomach. It had been bad enough that his moms were constantly at each other's throats since the moment Emma decided to stay in Storybrooke, but Henry wasn't sure if he could handle a full-blown war. He's not sure that either woman would survive either.

He knew that there had been nothing but contempt between them during their rivalry and private battle for Henry, but there were still times when they managed to stand together, or share conversations that bordered on civility.

If Emma were to discover the truth, there might never be a moment of peace between his mothers again. Even worse, what if Emma wanted to take revenge on Regina? What if she wanted to repay her in kind for what Regina tried to do to her? He shuddered at the thought. Henry tried to convince himself that, though the Evil Queen may stoop to murder, the Savior was better than that. She _had_ to be. But a nagging little voice reminded him that his birthmother had led a far from saintly life before coming to their little hamlet. He fought down another shudder.

Does this mean he should lie? Henry tried to bite back the fear that had risen in his chest at the idea of his mothers' potentially impending war. Maybe, he could pretend to be a little too traumatized at what he had witnessed to avoid telling Emma about everything that had happened on the night she tried to run. If he was lucky, he could delay until her memories returned on their own.

But that still left her in the situation of knowing what happened. It still left her knowing that Regina tried to murder her. And then the battle would begin. Maybe... He faltered, questioning his next idea. Maybe if Emma heard the truth from his mom, heard the sorrow and regret he hoped that she would express, _maybe_ an all out war could be avoided.

If she heard it from Regina, the confession from the perpetrator, he doesn't know how, but he imagined that perhaps the blow would be softened. Even that sounded crazy to him, and he lived in a town comprised of cursed fairy tale characters.

Another problem surfaced, and he scrunched his face in frustration. Despite his mom's denials, Henry _knew_ she kissed Emma. He knew with all of his heart that she woke her rival with True Love's Kiss. Did she linger long enough to see Emma's eyes open? Or did she run the moment her lips connected with the Savior's? _Gross_.

Did Emma see Regina? Did she feel the kiss? He thought that somehow Emma wasn't aware of how she was roused, considering that she hadn't mentioned it in any way. If there was one thing he knew about the blonde, it was that she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut about something involving Regina in any way - physical or otherwise. Considering that she hadn't mentioned his mother in her waking moment, Henry figured that Regina somehow managed to vanish before Emma became completely conscious.

He felt kind of sad at that. Maybe things would be different if Emma had known what and who had broken her from her dreadful coma. Maybe if she had seen Regina over her, felt her lips - gross! - then maybe Emma would finally believe in her destiny, in the power of Love and the Curse. His chest clenched again, knowing that the Savior was still a long way off from seeing the truth...about everything.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The party had dissipated after a few hours of pleasant, albeit sometimes uncomfortable chatting with her friends. Emma felt exhausted physically and mentally after all of the questions lobbed her way.

There was no denying that Storybrooke loved gossip, and its inhabitants liked to pry. They knew well enough not to ask if she remembered anything about the night she fell ill, but that didn't stop other queries from popping up. Archie was particularly interested to know if she had had any dreams or moments of lucidity during her month of unconsciousness.

The answer to her question was a resounding yes, but she lied and said she couldn't recall having any dreams. Emma suppressed a shudder from wracking her body, both from the memories of those dreams and from the chill that still clung to her right down to her bones.

She had endured the most dismaying nightmares she had ever had in her entire life. It felt like she was being forced to relive every horror, every regret and every pain Emma had ever experienced in her twenty-eight years of life. Nightmares were nothing foreign to the blonde, but they were always somehow a little bit vague, fudging the details, curbing the pain a bit. What she had suffered during her coma had been vivid, exact, and brutal in its truth and cruelty.

And yet, there were moments of reprieve. They were brief, inexplicable, and undeniably relieving in their presence. They all involved a figure she couldn't identify, but it was someone she was sure she knew, or at least desperately wanted to know. This person was warm, gentle and almost a little hesitant with all of their endeavors.

She remembered a tender holding of hands mostly. The stranger's skin was hot, a sensation Emma tried to recapture constantly considering how perpetually frozen she seemed to be. This faceless figure would hold her hand, gently, as though Emma was made of glass. They would murmur things to her, though she never could make out the words, or even the gender of the voice. Just deep, rich rumblings.

Sometimes they sounded scared, and it made Emma's heart lurch. Other times those indistinct utterances felt soft but with a layer of insecurity and trepidation, as if they were unsure as to whether or not they should be saying what they were. All the while, her faceless companion held her hand.

Then, there were the moments when the figure would bring their blissfully hot fingers to her own face, and Emma desperately wanted to cover that hand with her own. She needed to keep that contact that made her heart soar in a way she'd never felt before, knowing that the moment they separated, her mystery friend would melt into frigid darkness, and the memories would return. No matter how hard she tried, she could not move, and she felt as though she was screaming in desperation to do so.

Emma attributed the still-vivid memories of those horrid visions to be another part of the reason she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes to try and drift off, all of those images, all of the pain, all of those old scars cascaded back through every corner of her mind. She found herself wishing for the faceless friend to come to her rescue and banish those horrors from her head so she could get a few hours of decent rest.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma plopped down next to Henry on the sofa, handing him a cup of hot chocolate that Mary Margaret had made them all before bed. She could tell he was pretending to be engrossed in his comic book, and she knew he had been acting kind of strange all night. Ever since she woke up, he had been nothing but smiles and energy, but tonight he was distant, avoiding her in a most uncharacteristic way. Perhaps his distance would make it easier to do what she knew she had to the moment she came back to the apartment.

"Hey. Did you have fun tonight?" she asked lightly, giving him a playful nudge with her elbow.

"It was alright." He continued to stare at his comic, his eyes unmoving.

"You okay, Kid? You seem kinda...off." She tried fixing him with a gentle but imploring look. He seemed determined not to make eye contact in anyway, but she noticed his hazel eyes flicker over to the kitchen, a roil of emotions seething beneath them. She understood, turning to look at the kitchen as well, that this is the first time they've been together here since her incident.

"Wanna talk about it?" They both knew what she was referring to.

Henry looked up at her, his face full of doubt, hurt, and confusion. "I... I'm not sure..." His face contorted with the struggle of his emotions. Emma wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay, Kid. I can't imagine what you went through when...whatever it is that happened to me happened. It's okay to be shaken up, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that I somehow put you through that. You don't have to talk about it now if you're not ready, 'kay?"

Henry's lips twitched in a grateful smile. "I'm sorry, Emma. I promise I'll tell you soon." He gave a big yawn, bringing the sheriff back to the original reason she came to talk to Henry.

"So, listen, Kid. Mary Margaret says you've been living here?" Henry gave her a sheepish smile. "I'm not gonna ask. Not right now anyway, I'm too tired. But this place is pretty small, and you've been crashing in _my_ bed. The bed that I now need to collapse into. I think it's time you went back to Regina's, don't you think?"

"What? No, why can't I stay here?"

"Kid, there's no room! Besides, Regina has _very legal_ custody of you. The last thing I need right now is her taking legal action against me. I wish you could stay, but I can't risk that. But don't look too sad, Operation Cobra is still on, right?" She gave him another playful nudge.

"Yeah, of course it is!"

"Mary Margaret is gonna call your mom, and I'm gonna help you pack up, 'kay?"

Henry gave a heart-wrenching sigh. "Fineeee. Lemme get my clothes, and you can start taking my stuff out of the bathroom. Don't forget my toothbrush!"

They set about gathering his belongings in amiable silence, stopping for one quick tickle fight initiated by Emma. She lost rather quickly due to her impaired physical state. She was blushing furiously with her defeat while her son wore a smug expression, throwing his clothes pell-mell into a duffel bag. They both heard a sharp rap on the door downstairs. Henry said he'd finish packing so Emma could answer the door.

Mary Margaret was in the shower, so the blonde called down the stairs, saying she'd be along in a moment. She scooped up her cane, making a face at having to gimp around on a stick. As it turned out, going down the stairs was more difficult than going up. At least she could control the speed of her ascent, but her feet slammed onto each step going down, making her legs wobble dangerously.

She hobbled over to the front door, undoing the medieval-like dead bolt that August had installed for them a few months back. She swung to door open to reveal Regina, standing before her for the first time since Emma woke up. What she saw in the brunette startled her to no end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, follow me on Tumblr! I post pretty pictures of our Queen and her Knight! http:// writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	18. Short Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina talk for the first time since Emma's revival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, even though it's kinda short. I hope you like the interaction between our leading ladies. Keep up the comments and likes! They motivate me to update faster!

Regina was sitting in her lounge, nursing a small glass of whiskey, listening to some jazz to try and drown out the cacophony of her thoughts. She had done this every night since she had ki- _woken_ Emma from her sleeping curse. The images of that night ceaselessly crashed around her head and behind her eyes, creating a highly persistent, highly infuriating headache in her temples that no pharmaceutical could thwart; the whiskey just made it easier to ignore.

Her tongue absentmindedly ran over her lips while she thought about the sensation of them molding around the blonde's and the responding heat she felt crash through her unprepared body. Her expression soured, remembering the grin that pulled her lips back across her teeth, the gentle bliss of seeing those emerald eyes staring back into her own again.

Regina took a long sip from her drink, grimacing not at the hot path the alcohol was scorching down her throat, but at her own foolishness. The moment Emma's focus truly landed on her, the mayor saw nothing but abject horror in those stormy, confused eyes. Emma didn't wake to her True Love; she woke to find the her greatest rival, the woman who made her life in Storybrooke hell, the woman who thoughtlessly hurt anyone who threatened her life with Henry, the woman who tried to kill her, hovering above her, smiling like some psychotic lunatic.

 _Mother was right_ , she thought bitterly, swallowing the remainder of the amber liquid, love really is _weakness_. What did she think would happen? That when she kissed the Savior, Emma would look upon her in a new light, and she would simply forget all that Regina tried to do to her? For _love?_ She snorted derisively. Those were the idle fantasies of a teenaged girl who thought she could outrun her destiny, her mother, with the handsome stable boy. Those were thoughts for a girl who believed that Love truly could conquer all, that a little girl could keep a secret, that her life was in her own hands.

No, Emma did not see her True Love when she woke. Emma saw Mayor Mills, the Evil Queen, her enemy, and the woman she was destined to defeat - though the blonde did not yet believe it. The sound of the sheriff calling after her as she fled rang through Regina's mind again. The tone did not sound kind, inviting, or happy. Emma sounded disturbed, and she probably wanted to demand why the brunette was there, and how she was planning on killing her.

She tightened her jaw, feeling fresh embarrassment bubbling up in her stomach, mixing with the whiskey into nothing but anger at her stupidity. Maybe she would have been better off leaving Emma asleep, and succumbing to insanity. At least she'd never again have to endure this shame and horror she was feeling.

She flushed with chagrin, chastising herself for daring to even think like that. A wish like that would leave Henry orphaned - again - and she would never be able to live with herself, abandoning her most beloved boy because she felt incapable of handling some cross feelings for the blonde thorn in her side.

Regina got up, about to head over to the bar to pour herself another drink, when her cell phone went off. She nearly jumped out of her skin, forgetting how loud she had the ringer and the way it echoed in the empty house. When she looked at the screen, she saw that the call was from Mary Margaret, and her first instinct was to ignore it. However, she quickly remembered that she was still watching over Henry, and her stomach dropped, afraid something had happened to him.

She was already bristling, ready to lash out if she had somehow allowed any harm to come to her son. "Ms Blanchard, have you any idea what time it is?" She 'greeted' in icy tones.

"I beg your pardon, Regina, but I'm sure you've heard that Emma is out of the hospital?"

"Are you trying to say that you called me after ten pm to announce to me that the sheriff was discharged, a fact that you already assumed I was aware of?"

"N-No. It's just, she's moving back in with me, which means there's no room for Henry, and..." Her voice trailed off pathetically, clearly unable to say that the only reason she seemed to relinquish Henry to his own mother was because her miniscule apartment was too full.

Regina chuckled mirthlessly, enjoying Mary Margaret's insecurity. "Tell me, what did you have to bribe Miss Swan with to get her to give me _my son_ back?"

There was a pause. "Nothing. It was Emma's idea." The teacher stated the words lightly, but Regina could hear the slight victory to her voice, having been able to defy the mayor's assumptions.

Something writhed deep in the brunette's gut, making her unable to respond. _Emma_ was willingly giving Henry back to her? Emma was the one who came up with this idea? _Emma?_

"Regina?"

"Indeed. When did you want me to get him?"

"I think Emma was hoping you would come right now. She's upstairs packing with him, and I think she's just really tired."

"Because someone who has been cur-in a coma for a month is hardly rested," Regina replied dryly. She knew the comment was in poor taste, but she wasn't sure she cared. Rather, she couldn't let herself care. She smirked a little bit at Mary Margaret's stunned silence. "I will head out shortly."

She didn't bother waiting for a response before hanging up. The brunette was thrown into another swirl of warring emotions. She was thrilled that she was going to have Henry back. The weeks spent in her big empty house left her feeling as lost as she did before she adopted him. But she was unable to tell what it was supposed to mean that Emma was giving him back. Why so suddenly? Why no fight? Maybe her head was more addled than she thought.

Regina touched up her makeup after slipping out of her pajamas. She was tempted to don one of her usual power suits in an attempt to show Emma that she wasn't to be toyed with, but it was late, and that dolt, Mary Margaret, said the blonde was tired. She opted instead for her usual black slacks and a crisp white blouse. Nothing too overpowering, but it was still an outfit that expressed order and control.

She slipped on the only pair of flats she owned, because her feet still held a residual ache from her wounds that she hadn't been able to shake. Her usual stilettos were hardly bearable for more than an hour, and boots weren't much better. She grimaced that she'd be losing those few inches that she usually had to stay on the same height with the tall blonde. She still had better posture, and Regina knew Emma would be slouching if she was tired. There was no point in fussing over those details, and she shook herself when she slipped on her black trench coat.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina remembered to pop a mint in her mouth on her way up to the apartment, not wanting anyone to potentially catch a whiff of whiskey on her breath. She stood facing the paint-chipped door, composing herself for what was to come. The mayor squared her shoulders, holding herself in her most regal upright position she could muster, while jutting her chin out ever so slightly. She cleared her eyes of any emotion, adopting a haughty, almost bored expression.

Convinced that her walls would betray nothing to the blonde or her moronic roommate, she rapped her knuckles against the wood. She heard a muffled response, and what sounded like a small crash. Regina was tempted to knock again, just to display her irritation, but she bit back the childish impulse after hearing the heavy thump of the blonde's footfalls on the stairs.

She heard the click of a lock and the grating of a heavy deadbolt sliding back before the door swung open to reveal Emma Swan. The sheriff was clad in grey sweatpants and a white tank top. Regina could see Emma's black sports bra under the thin material. It was also not lost on the mayor how the normally buoyant, playful curls of Emma's hair now lay limp and lifeless around her strong shoulders.

What caught Regina's attention the most was how heavily the sheriff was leaning on a plain aluminum cane. She couldn't fathom the reason the normally stalwart woman would need something like that for. Her gaze tracked up her body to finally lock eyes with her.

She felt the slightest flush touch her cheeks at having been caught staring, but she held the gaze nonetheless, continuing to keep her eyes devoid of emotion. Emma Swan did not seem to be thinking along the same lines. Her formerly-vibrant olive eyes now seemed sunken and weary. She took in the deep purple bruising beneath those tired orbs and the sallow look to Emma's skin. To be blunt, the Savior looked like a mere shadow of herself, and Regina was barely conscious of the way her blood seemed to be hammering in her ears.

Emma cleared her throat awkwardly, failing to hide her own assessing once-over of the brunette. "Henry should be down in a minute. He's just finishing up packing." Regina remained silent. "Er... Thanks for coming on such short notice." Emma tried smiling weakly

"Yes, well, he is _my son_ , Miss Swan. And you look hardly fit to take care of anything, not even a gerbil."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I want him back with you. He was crazy to run off like that, and you're the one who knows how to look after him best," Emma responded, looking away, her voice laden with defeat and maybe even a little self-loathing, Regina thought. She was prepared for their usual biting, snarky banter, but it seemed that even the spitfire blonde was too worn for one of their verbal battles.

"It's about time that you learned something right for once," she bit back, refusing to drop her walls, even though the sheriff's words dug straight underneath them. Just when she thought she had the other woman figured, Emma went and negated everything she had anticipated. She tightened her lips imperceptibly, frustrated.

"Yeah, well, maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking, or the fact that I was in a coma for five weeks, but it kinda put things into a different perspective for me." She sighed heavily. "It's probably the lack of sleep. Bet a shot of bourbon would probably help put me out, but doc's orders. No alcohol for me," Emma said with mock enthusiasm.

Neither woman could explain why they were attempting awkwardly-forced small talk, but neither woman tried to stop it either. Regina remained as immaculate and composed as she was able, while Emma shuffled uncomfortably, starting to feel the weakness in her legs again.

Henry still hadn't come down, and Emma was tempted to call over her shoulder for him, somewhat eager to leave this conversation, and make another failed attempt at sleep. Yet, she didn't. Little did the women know that Henry was deliberately dawdling, having finished packing not long after his birthmother answered the door. He had been listening in secret, looking for any sign of a connection.

"Why can't you sleep?" Regina winced internally, immediately regretting letting the hint of concern color the inquiry. She played it off by following it up with, "And I hope it's a problem that can be sorted out quickly. Storybrooke cannot have its sheriff dragging her feet, giving a sub-par performance."

Emma grunted at the comment. "I uhh... I can't really say why I haven't been able to..." She locked her eyes with Regina's. Something passed between them. Something that definitely didn't have a name or form. Both women felt it, but neither were really aware of it. Regina's mouth went dry while Emma felt like her guts were twisting.

"Nightmares."

"What?"

"It's why I can't sleep. I had horrible nightmares in my coma, and I can't seem to shake 'em. That, and I'm cold."

A hot wave of guilt washed over Regina when she remembered one aspect of the sleeping curse was that it forced its victim to relive all of their worst moments. She remembered the blonde's checkered past and realized that it probably contained more than a handful of horrors.

"Perhaps if you dressed more warmly, Miss Swan, you wouldn't be so cold."

"No, like, I'm _cold_ cold. Every time I take my temp it says it's normal, but I'm fucking freezing. Feel."

Emma's free hand darted out to take one of Regina's, and the brunette gasped at the sudden, and definitely not permitted contact. She was completely startled at the fact that the blonde's digits felt as icy as they had the first night Regina dared to touch them in the hospital.

Regina reflexively jerked her hand away, her face hardening with a look of venom. Emma hobbled back a step, looking sheepish, a deep blush creeping up over her colorless cheeks. Henry, bless him, finally chose to come down, backpack slung over one shoulder and duffel bag clutched in his fist.

"Henry!" Regina flashed him the warmest smile she could, trying to quell the explosion of frantic butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach. "I've missed you so much." She deliberately scooped him up into a back-breaking hug, determined to show the blonde how much she really loved the gasping boy in her arms.

"Whoa, easy, Mom," he said rubbing his sides, giving her a really confused look. He turned his big puppy-eyes to his birthmother, giving her a pleading look, and a heavy, heartfelt sigh.

"It's not goodbye forever, Kid. Now go on," Emma said, always uncomfortable with goodbyes. "It's past your bed time, and your mom's tired. I'll see you around, 'kay?"

"Okay... I'll see you around." Henry slammed himself into her middle for a goodbye hug, and the Savior's legs wobbled dangerously after being thrown off balance. She gave him a one-armed embrace in return while Regina looked on with distaste.

"C'mon, Kid. Don't keep your mom waiting," she said gruffly. He let go and turned to leave.

"Tell Ms Blanchard I said bye," he called over his shoulder.

"Will do. G'night, Regina. Thanks again," Emma said wearily.

"Miss Swan." Regina gracefully inclined her head, leaving with a confident strut, determined not to look back as she heard the door swing shut on creaky hinges, determined to fight the way her hands shook, determined not to whisper _Sleep well_ under her breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to follow me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	19. Unexpected Gestures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma runs into a few bumps her first night back from the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but until the very end of the chapter, I was having a miserable time getting it out! Enjoy, and don't forget to comment or shoot me questions! It keeps me motivated!

Emma watched Regina walk away for a few seconds, not sure what the hell she was feeling. She closed the door, suddenly aware of the hot tears that tracked their way down her face, and the blonde frowned, wiping them away, unable to account for their presence. She stumbled over to the sofa, feeling new tears replace the ones she just eradicated, so exhausted that she had no strength to bother fighting them either.

Mary Margaret came down, wrapped in a warm robe, short locks tousled from her shower. Emma could practically feel those brown eyes widening in an almost comical fashion once her roommate saw her hunched on the couch, shoulders shaking, sniffling loudly. The brunette rushed to her side.

"Oh Emma! Don't cry, sweetie! Henry will be back, just you wait and see." She wrapped her arm warmly around the blonde's back, and Emma could feel her flinch slightly at the chill she knew Mary Margaret could feel. It didn't take long for her to feel the weight of a warm blanket being draped over her.

"He'll be back. He loves you."

Emma looked at her friend with a confused frown. She hated saying goodbye to the kid, but it's not like she hasn't done that before. No, Henry wasn't the reason she was crying. But, if her son's absence wasn't the cause of her distress, what was? She couldn't tell Mary Margaret, because Emma knew that she would pry, and the sheriff had no strength for emotional interrogations that had no answers.

She felt the looming cloud of defeat creeping over her even though she couldn't tell what battle she had already lost. She wasn't going to tell her roommate that she guessed wrong about the source of her distress, but Emma wasn't going to push her away either. She never really had someone to hold her up when she wasn't strong enough. She never let herself get to that point. Despite the feeling of friendly comfort being really, _really_ weird for Emma, she allowed herself to lean into the brunette, letting the strange sobs wrack her body.

Mary Margaret positioned herself so she could cradle her friend, cooing soft words into her ear, gently stroking Emma's messy tresses. Hurt, conflict, anger and being a little lost were things that the brunette saw on the sheriff many times since her arrival to Storybrooke, but unbridled sadness? Crying? Curling up like a child whose first pet just died? Those were things that she had _never_ seen on Emma before. Quite frankly, it scared her.

Mary Margaret did not know what happened the night of Emma's incident - other than Henry furiously proclaiming that Regina had poisoned her - but she could tell that the blonde wasn't the same woman anymore. Her roommate had only been home for a few hours, but that was all she needed to see the difference.

There was always a burning fire seething within her friend, one that drove her to do things no one would ever dare, one that inspired others around her. Mary Margaret couldn't seem to find it anymore, and the hollow look that haunted those vibrant, green eyes was downright unsettling. She also wasn't sure if it was still because Emma wasn't fully recovered, but she saw the way the woman dragged her feet, the way she seemed slumped over all the time, and the heavy sighs one only uses when extremely exhausted.

Mary Margaret adjusted her strokes to something gentler, having noticed the absence of Emma's muffled sobs, now hearing only occasional sniffles. She considered moving to let her friend stretch out on the couch to get some much-needed rest, but it felt as though the woman was already slipping into unconsciousness. Moving would only disrupt that. Instead, she allowed herself to get a little more comfortable, and it wasn't long before the two were fast asleep, curled up with each other under the worn fleece blanket.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Emma shrieked, slamming upright, slipping off of the couch in her attempt to pummel Mary Margaret.

"Emma! Ouch! Emma... Stop! It's okay!" The brunette had screamed in her retreat to perch on the back of the couch, holding her hands out in defense.

"IF YOU TRY TO LAY ANOTHER FINGER ON ME, I WILL FUCKING _KILL_ YOU," Emma roared into the dark room, her eyes bulging and unseeing.

"Emma, please! There's nothing here! _It's just a dream!_ "

The blonde started slicing her fists through the air, nearly coming into contact with some very solid, or very breakable objects. She was screaming unintelligible things, stumbling, half-crawling on weak legs. Mary Margaret wadded up the nearest blanket and chucked it straight into Emma's face. The blonde stumbled, stunned into silence before falling backwards heavily onto the coffee table.

"Ow! Fuck! What the hell!" Emma groaned loudly, squirming uncomfortably on the little table.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret whispered fearfully.

The sheriff lifted her head, peering blearily over at her roommate. "The hell are you doing crouched on the back of the sofa?" She sat up with another deep groan.

"Er... Trying to get away from you?"

"Get away from me?" The brunette offered her an apologetic smile. "Oh God... I'm so sorry, Mar." The blonde cradled her head in her hands, but suddenly, she was bent over, dry heaving heavily.

Mary Margaret crawled away from her perch, bringing a towel from the kitchen. Emma took the rag to wipe off her chin, mumbling about wanting a glass of water. The brunette wasted no time in getting the desired beverage for her friend. The sheriff moaned in pleasure when the cool liquid slid past her lips.

"You stay right there, keep drinking and I'll be back down in a minute." Mary Margaret heard a responding grunt, and she rushed off up the stairs. Emma clutched at her stomach again, breathing heavily, unsure if she was going to vomit again. She held the glass up to her forehead, reveling in the soothing sensation. The soft sounds of her roommate's feet padding back down reached her several minutes later.

"Feeling any better?"

"A bit... Yeah."

"Come on, Em. Let's get you into your bed. I already made it up, and I put extra blankets down, so you'll be super cozy. I also dug out your flannel pj's, and I can get you some more water when you're all tucked in." She held out her hand, inviting Emma to take it.

Green eyes full of grateful disbelief found her own. "Where were you when I was a kid? I coulda used you in 'mommy-mode.' Bet I would have turned out a little better if you had been my mom," Emma said bitterly into the curtains of hair framing her pale face.

"Better late than never, right? Come on; let's get you upstairs. You'll feel better once you're in your own bed again."

Mary Margaret felt an icy hand land in her own palm, and she gave a gentle tug, hoisting her friend off of the coffee table. The cane lay forgotten near the sofa while the brunette supported the exhausted blonde upstairs for a proper sleep.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma's eyelids reluctantly pried open, registering the warm autumn sun with a dispirited groan. She ran cold fingers over her slightly sunken cheeks, hoping that if she burrowed deeper into the many layers of blankets that her kind roomie had provided the night before, she might be able to shake off the cold. It had been more long hours of restless tossing and turning, fading in and out of more nightmares, waking up in cold sweats and the now ever-looming sense of defeat.

A bright pink note left on her nightstand caught the sheriff's sleepy eyes, and she scanned it quickly, smiling at the words scrawled across the paper: _Em, I made breakfast for us (french toast! Your favorite!) I brought your medications up to the bathroom, and your physical therapy appointment today is at 12:30. Love, MM_

Emma's attention was brought to the cane that Mary Margaret had propped against her nightstand. Fresh pain shot through her heart when she once again thought that she really could have benefitted from the brunette's mothering as a child. She made a mental note to get the woman something nice in gratitude.

The sheriff stretched stiffly when she stood up, noting new soreness from her incident the previous night. She sighed, feeling like normalcy with her body and the overall Zen and confidence that she carried were far in the past. It felt like an age had flown by since she was last pulling shenanigans with Henry, hanging out with Ruby, defending Mary Margaret from being convicted for a murder that was never committed and doing everything in her power to piss off Regina.

She scrubbed her fists over tired eyes, scooping up her cane as she made her way to the bathroom. Her face scrunched in frustration when she noticed the definite tremble that still clung to her long legs. Emma paid as little attention to her reflection as possible when scraping her mane into a messy ponytail and brushing her teeth. However, her eyes immediately found the note stuck to the mirror with directions scribbled down pertaining to the medications she was supposed to be taking. After swallowing a small handful of pills, she padded downstairs, still clad in her flannel pajamas. The smell of bacon hit her, causing her mouth to water instantly, not even realizing just how vacant her stomach felt until that moment.

"Good morning," Mary Margaret said brightly, moving around the little kitchen in a floral apron. "Sit yourself down, I'll get you some coffee and put your plate together."

Emma was slightly thrown off, pausing to stare in disbelief at her roomie. "Good morning to you too. What's with the banquet? What are we celebrating?" She stifled a yawn.

"Nothing. Just thought I'd do something nice. Besides, breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Emma narrowed her eyes at her while she placed her elbows on the breakfast bar. "Seriously, what's up?"

"Nothing. Is it wrong for me to want to do this? Here." She set a steaming mug of coffee and a plate with two thick slices of french toast - the topmost piece had a smiley face made out of blueberries and sliced strawberries on it - three strips of crisped bacon, and a small serving of scrambled eggs on it before the blonde. The container of syrup soon followed while the kitchen was filled with a deep, bacon-induced moan. Emma's brow furrowed thoughtfully while she took a long sip of her coffee.

"Something up? Did I not put enough sugar in?" the brunette asked, sitting down with her own plate of food.

"Hm? Oh, no, it's not that. It's just... Mar, did you do this because you spent so much time looking after Henry, and now he's gone? I mean, is that why you never thought to take him back to Regina?" Mary Margaret stopped chewing and stared at her plate with a slightly guilty expression. "I'm guessing you left him little notes too? Did you also put smiley faces on his breakfasts?"

"It helped cheer him up," she responded in a small voice. "He...he just missed you so much, Emma. I don't know... Taking care of him just felt natural. Almost as natural as taking care of you does."

Emma choked on a piece of egg. "I'm sorry, what?" she asked between coughs.

"I don't know how to explain it," she said in a rush. "Looking after you feels like something I've done forever. Or, should have been doing. I know, it's really weird, but it's the truth in how I feel." She looked up at perplexed, green eyes. "Don't worry, Em. I'm not going to start trying to put you in diapers, or treat you like a kid or anything."

"Please don't! If I walk around on a cane _and_ wear diapers, well, Henry may as well just call me Grandma."

"Speaking of which, eat up! I have got to get you to your appointment soon."

"You said it was at 12:30, it's only, like, 10."

"No, it's almost 11:30, and you're not even dressed."

"Shit! Seriously? Why didn't you get me up earlier?"

"It's Saturday? You needed it, Emma. You were dead on your feet." Emma's face darkened. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't think..."

"Don't worry about it. I'll hurry up for you."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma stumped her way through the hospital to the Recovery Ward without Mary Margaret who decided to use the time to run some errands. Probably more like stalk David Nolan, if Emma knew the woman at all. She shook her head, smiling to herself at the thought, before entering the tiny waiting area.

It was a small space quartered off from the rest of the large room that housed exercise machines, cots, rails and other various equipment and a few isolated rooms. She signed in quickly, and before she even had a chance to sit down, one of the therapists was addressing her.

"Roger will be with you in a little while; he's finishing up with one of his patients right now. But I can start you on the bike for your warm up in the meantime." Emma consented and was led to the small row of stationary bicycles. "I'm going to set the timer for 10 minutes this time, but as always, take it as slowly as you need. And if you feel like you can't stay on for the full 10 minutes, just give someone a holler and we'll get you off."

Emma clambered onto the machine, willing her legs to push the resisting pedals while putting in some earbuds for a distraction. Despite the fact that her muscles were groaning with the effort she was exerting on the bike, she completely ignored all protests, hoping that if she could work herself hard enough, she could warm her body through physical means.

But the minutes ticked by, and despite the slight sheen of sweat glistening on her skin, her heavier breaths and the burning pain in her lower extremities, Emma felt as chilly as ever. Even though she was frustrated with her body, she felt relief nonetheless when the timer on the bike started beeping when her time was up, sighing gratefully.

The blonde climbed off, shaking her legs out while turning to look outside the big windows behind the bikes that overlooked a small courtyard on the hospital grounds. It was a clear, inviting day for autumn in Maine, and she cast a slightly resentful glower at the pale blue sky. It would have been a perfect day for a run, but no, her stupid legs had to turn into floppy noodles while she was in a coma.

While she was scowling deeply at the good weather, Roger's voice met her ears over her music. "It can take quite some time for injuries such as yours to heal. Even though the surface damage is gone, there's still a lot underneath and deep within the tissue that is slow to heal.

"I'm glad to hear that you find the deep tissue massage to be helpful to you, especially with the pain management. So we will continue with that, and you said you were doing your stretches at home as well? Because it's absolutely crucial to getting you back into ship shape. Don't forget to take pain killers as needed, and some nice soaks in hot water should help improve the circulation in the area as well."

Emma made to turn around and greet him while he finished talking with his patient, but she had pushed herself far too hard on the bike. When she swung around, her legs put in a feeble attempt at cooperation before completely giving out. The sheriff went flying, colliding with something rather solid that crashed down with her in the process.

The solid thing let out a little yell before slamming into the ground with her. "Shit! I'm sorry!" Emma said, hoisting herself up onto her elbows to look at the unwitting victim of her own clumsiness. Her eyes widened when they fell upon the woman who was trying to compose herself as graciously on the floor as possible.

" _Regina?_ " Emma was used to the varied people that drifted in and out of the physical therapy office, having already been in and out of it during her days spent at the hospital after waking up. Archie was in regularly for his back, and the rest were mostly older folk dealing with age-related injuries or accidents, and a handful of high schoolers treating sports injuries. But the mayor? She was the last person Emma expected to see there. In fact, she wasn't even aware that the woman had any physical problems. She always seemed so perfectly assembled that the very idea of Regina having any sort of malady seemed almost comical. Emma gawked at her for so long, that she didn't notice the small crowd of employees buzzing around her, asking if she was okay or needed assistance.

"You should close your mouth, Miss Swan. I doubt you'd appreciate the flies that would no doubt swarm around the garbage that usually dribbles out of it." she sneered, looking down at the collapsed sheriff, having already gotten herself up.

"Regina? What are you doing here?" Emma allowed a couple of people to help her to her feet, where she stood unsteadily.

"I hardly think that's any of your business, Sheriff." Regina stared hard at the blonde while she straightened her slightly rumpled trousers.

"Are you hurt? Did something happen to you?"

"Again, also none of your business," Regina replied tersely, but she was struggling to mask her surprise at Emma's aggressive concern.

Some poorly-stifled sniggers pricked at the sheriff's ears. She whipped around, keeping her balance this time to focus narrowed emerald eyes onto a pair of kids filming the whole thing on their cell phones.

"Delete it. Now!" she said menacingly.

"No! It's my property, I can do what I want with it!" one boy snarked.

"Yeah! You can't make us do it!" his friend echoed with a greasy sneer.

A muscle was ticking in Emma's forehead, her temper rising unusually fast.

"Listen, punks, my rep is crap as is. So I couldn't care less what stupid videos are out there of me, but if you think I'm going to let you even _try_ to make a fool out of Regina, you've got another thing coming!" Emma spat each and every word, her fists tightly balled and slowly advanced toward them without knowing. Everyone else stood frozen, unable to speak or react.

"Fucking delete it. _Now._ " She whispered the last word, only a few feet from the two kids.

"Miss Swan!" Regina said sharply. "I will _not_ have my sheriff acting so brashly!"

"Yeah! Police brutality!"

"Yeah! Back off, Cop!"

"Convenient, except that I'm not a cop right now. Haven't taken up the badge up yet." A sinister grin pulled at her lips when she saw their pimply faces pale. "Oops," she said with a shrug that was uncharacteristically threatening.

"Are... Are you serious, lady?"

"If you don't delete your shit now, you'll see just how serious I am, prick!"

" _Miss Swan!_ " Regina's sharp tone finally cut through whatever possessed the sheriff to threaten teenagers, but the blonde's words had done their trick as the two boys frantically tapped at their phones to erase what they filmed only minutes earlier.

"I have no clue what's gotten into you, but if you _ever_ do anything like that again, I can assure you that I will not be lenient with my punishment."

"A thank you would have sufficed, _Madame Mayor._ " Emma was still glaring at the kids, breathing heavily, her whole body rigid.

"You have a disgusting and sick idea of what it means to defend someone's honor. If you could even call it that." She drew air quotes around the word 'defend.'

"Still not hearing a thank you," the blonde said vehemently, continuing to glower at everyone but the mayor.

"Nor will you ever! Look at me!" she firmly grasped Emma's shoulder, turning the woman to face her. The sheriff's crazed eyes widened in horror when she met Regina's iron gaze. "That was a vile display of your crass impulsiveness, and I _will not_ have it here, in my town or anywhere near me! Leave the premises immediately."

"Regina... I... Fuck, I'm sorry-"

"Now. If I have to ask you one more time, so help me I will phone Sheriff Nolan, have him arrest you for disturbing the peace, and throw your insolent self in jail until you've come to your limited array of senses."

Emma snapped her mouth shut. Not a soul in that room could deny the finality and truth to the mayor's words. The blonde would have to be insane to try and contest her again. Instead, her cheeks turned an ashy green while she stumbled out of the Physical Therapy center, not even bothering take her cane as she exited.

Emma briefly considered calling Mary Margaret for a ride, but that idea was immediately rejected. There was no way she'd be able to sit in the car with her friend, trying to explain whatever the hell just happened back there to her. No, she needed to run. She needed to pound all of the confusion out of her body with a hard jog.

Under normal circumstances, that wouldn't be possible for her. After all, Emma collapsed after a ten-minute ride on a bike. However, this wasn't a normal circumstance, and she had a massive dose of adrenaline rushing through her veins, giving her all the strength she needed to run a full marathon.

So Emma Swan ran. She ran to the one place she knew she'd find some answers. She ran to the one person who would talk to her, who would make her feel like she wasn't going completely nuts. Her feet slammed a frantic path to where Henry's Castle used to be, somehow knowing he would be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	20. Apologies and Cooties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma struggles with apologizing to the mayor, and Henry learns that everyone has got cooties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a ton of fun writing this chapter. It's fun and fluffy, which you all will need because the coming chapters are about to get a lot heavier. Please enjoy, send me comments and such. I don't bite!

Emma came skidding to a breathless halt beside her incredibly confused son. She heard him ask her something, but the blood was pounding so heavily in her ears that she couldn't hear anything else above it. The blonde held up a shaky finger, signifying that the boy needed to wait for her to catch her breath. She was bent double, leaning on her knees, panting like a tired, old dog.

Several minutes passed, and she finally looked at the perplexed boy with a weak smile. "Hey," she offered.

"Uh, hey?" Henry's eyes were full of worry, as he took in the sweaty, flustered look of the bent woman before him.

"Hey, look, a bench," Emma panted, pointing. "Wanna sit?"

"Sure? What's going on?" he asked once they plopped down onto the bench overlooking the stormy sea.

Emma fixed him with a piercing look. "What happened to me, Kid?"

"I don't know-"

"Yes, you _do_ know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that night almost six weeks ago. Henry, what happened to me?"

She watched him squirm next to her, looking exceedingly uncomfortable, and she thought she saw a touch of guilt clinging to his form. "Emma... I'm not ready to say what I saw..."

"I know. I know I asked you last night, and I know that I promised that I'd give you time, Kid. But I'm feeling really lost here. I need _something_. Even if it's just a little piece, a little tale. C'mon, Kid. Give me a chapter in my coma story." She playfully nudged him with her elbow, successfully diffusing the tension.

A slow smile spread across his face while he stared out across the water. "Okay, but you gotta promise that you won't get mad!"

Emma tensed immediately, fearing the worst, but that same smile was still plastered across his face; she couldn't tell if she should feel afraid or embarrassed for what was to come next. "I promise."

"You've got to Pinky Promise!" He stuck out his little finger.

"Sure thing, Kid." She hooked her finger around his, sealing the unbreakable promise not to get mad. His smile got bigger.

"Alright, Emma. What I'm about to tell you is not about the night you went into your coma," he said with an air of mysterious grandeur. "I'm going to tell you about a time when you were unconscious, and I tried to devise a plan to wake you up."

Emma opened her mouth, about to ask if Dr Whale sanctioned any of what he was going to try, but Henry held up a hand to stop her. "As you know," he continued with that same air. "Operation Cobra cannot continue without the Savior, so naturally I had to find a way to bring you back. It took me a while to figure out the means to wake you up," he said, casually leaving out the times he consulted with Mr Gold, knowing that Emma would not approve.

"Of course, the answer finally came to me, and I wondered how I hadn't thought of it before!" Emma stared at him, waiting for the big reveal. "True Love's Kiss! If it's powerful enough to break any curse, surely it could wake you up!" The blonde could not stop the eye roll that followed his statement, and she groaned, definitely afraid of what was to come next.

"I had no idea who your True Love was. In truth, nobody did. Not even Ms Blanchard. So there was only one way to find out for real."

"Oh no. Kid, please don't tell me..."

"I kinda had a sort of...audition?" Emma's eyes shot wide open as she stared, mouth agape at her son.

"I had everyone who I knew didn't have a True Love come and..."

"Oh God, no..."

"Kiss you."

"GROSS!" Emma started spitting, wiping her tongue and making all sorts of noises that one usually hears from a grossed-out teenager. "Henry! _Really?_ "

"Sorry...?"

"I will never, _never_ feel like my mouth is clean again! Ugh! Don't you know that boys have cooties? Nasty!"

Henry pulled a face. "Really, Emma?" he said in a matter-of-fact tone that sounded all too like Regina. "You're going to play the cooties card?"

"It's, like, a scientific fact that boys have cooties! Haven't any of the girls in your classes said that?"

"Maybe when I was in first grade?" He watched as his birthmother continued to try and wipe out her mouth, making funny blubbering, gagging noises. "Boys don't have cooties, Emma! I'm a boy, and I've never seen a single cootie crawling on me. Not even in my hair," he stated defiantly.

"Of course you haven't seen them, Kid. Cooties are invisible! If we could see them, the human race would have died off a looooong time ago."

"What about my dad? Did he have cooties?"

"Absolutely he had cooties!"

"Then how come you stayed with him?"

"There are some people whose cooties you can ignore. Your dad's cooties were bearable enough that I could overlook them."

Henry pulled another face. "I thought girls had cooties too?"

"We do," Emma responded plainly. "But ours smell better!"

"They do not!" Henry said hotly. "Girls smell just as bad as boys do!"

"You'll change your tune in a couple years, trust me."

"Ew, Emma! I don't wanna think about that!"

The blonde snorted, smiling mischievously down at her son. "You will in a couple years."

"You're so gross! Maybe _you_ have cooties!"

"I definitely do after what you put me through in that coma! Thank God I can't remember!" Emma scrunched her face comically. "Did Archie kiss me? Urg, did _Leroy_ kiss me?"

Henry offered up a sheepish, apologetic smile. "Sorry?"

"Yes. Yes I have cooties. I have so many cooties that I will probably need to be hospitalized for a severe cootie infection."

"I know what to do! Gimme your arm!"

"Why? What are you gonna do?"

"Cure you," he said bluntly. Emma reluctantly offered up her left arm, and she watched as he rolled up her sleeve. "Circle, circle, dot, dot," he chanted, tracing his finger on her forearm. "Now you've got your cootie shot!" He looked proudly up at her, the accomplishment of abolishing Emma's cootie problem smeared all over his smug little face.

"Thanks, Kid. You just saved me a fortune in cootie-treatment bills. It's an expensive fix, let me tell you!"

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"Okay, we're home now," Mary Margaret said. "Are going to finally tell me why I had to pick you up where The Castle used to be and why you kept spitting out of the car window?"

"Mm." Emma held up a finger, and dashed upstairs, stumbling a few times without her cane. When she came down, she was carrying an open bottle of Listerine, her cheeks puffed out from swishing the fluid around in her mouth.

Emma walked over to the sink, spitting it out and pulling a face from the way her mouth burned. "Care to tell me when you were going to let me know that you let every bachelor in town stick his tongue down my throat while I was in a fucking _coma?!_ " She threw her hands up in exasperation, but both women knew Emma was being playful with her upset.

"About that..." The brunette watched her roommate take another generous swig of mouthwash. "You know how much Henry loves you, right?" She watched Emma spit the Listerine out.

"Of course I do. I love the little shit back!"

"You might want to come up with a better term of endearment."

"Yeah, well, it's still kinda true. You were saying?"

"Right. When you were in the hospital, and there was no knowing what was going to happen, when you'd wake up, or if you'd even wake up at all, Henry did what he always does. I know his whole idea of us being cursed is hogwash and all, but it's his outlet. It's his coping mechanism.

"That first week that you were out, I didn't even know that the boy staying with me was Henry. He never talked, he barely ate, and I'm sure that he slept even less. It was terrifying to witness. I did everything in my power to cheer him up, to make him confident that you'd recover, but my words seemed to wilt when they came near him.

"But then he found what had been giving him hope for so many months, Emma."

"What's that?" Emma had done everything in her power not to look at Mary Margaret. She still knew nothing of what had happened to her, but she couldn't fight the guilt that squirmed through her veins when she tried to imagine the pain that she put Henry through.

"Belief, Emma. He found his belief." She smiled warmly at him.

"Belief in what? Curses?"

"More than that. He found his belief in something bigger than him. He found belief in something bigger than all of us. He found his belief that Love can overcome any obstacle, and even more than that, he found his belief in you." Mary Margaret reached out, squeezing the blonde's trembling hand. She fought down a shudder at the sensation of Emma's icy skin.

"That still doesn't answer my question."

The brunette snorted with humor. "My point is, Em, he found what drove him. He smiled again. Henry got that mischievous glint back in his eyes, and he was eating, and yammering away about what he was going to do when you woke up. How could I deny him that? Yes, yes. I know, it's still weird and gross that I allowed him to have just about every man in town kiss you. However! I supervised it all, and I made sure every single kiss was quick, and there was no tongue!"

Emma made a retching noise as she had the sudden and revolting image of Leroy, drunk and sweaty trying to ram his tongue down her throat. She immediately brought the bottle of mouthwash up to her lips for a third time.

"I thought that would be good news...?"

"Good news," she said after spitting again. "Bad visuals!"

The brunette pulled a face. "Urgh, you're right."

"Ha! Karma's a bitch!"

"Is that really Karma?"

"Not a clue, Mar. Not a clue."

"Speaking of which, where's your cane?"

Emma's eyes widened at the question, and it was impossible for the teacher not to notice the flush blossoming across the woman's cheeks. "I, uh... I left it at the physical therapy place?"

"And is that in any way linked to the reason why I picked you up at the beach and not the hospital?"

The scowl that Emma donned would have made a brooding teenager proud. "I kinda got kicked out."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Yeah, I kinda got into it with Regina, but not really. I d'know, it was weird. Okay, I can tell from that look on your face that you'll never sleep until I tell you. So, sit down, I'll make some coffee, and I guess I'll tell you everything."

Emma recounted the events of that morning, and her very short physical therapy session. Despite feeling ashamed of her actions, she told her friend every single thing that happened. She knew how small town gossip worked, and by now she was sure that the story had already warped into something that was only a shadow of the truth. She knew telling it exactly as it was would save her roomie from plugging any holes with untrue details.

"I don't get it, Emma." She rolled her half-empty mug between her palms.

"And you think I do? I'm still in disbelief about it all."

"I mean, do you gain anything from this?"

"Do I ever gain anything? I know that Regina didn't deserve an ounce of what I tried to do for her. God knows that she wouldn't have repaid the favor if it had been me. And I know that I should have let those two dumbasses spread that video of Regina getting toppled over by me.

"Let me tell you, everything in my head was screaming for me to just let it happen. I gave up a perfect opportunity to have that bitch knocked down a couple pegs, but I couldn't. It was like all of my instincts were overridden, and I had no choice _but_ to yell at those douche bags."

"And then Regina kicked you out?"

"Yep. And in all Mayor Mills Style too."

"I didn't know she had the power to do that..."

"She doesn't, but you should have seen the look on her face! I'm pretty sure everyone there just about wet themselves. They weren't about to say anything against her command. I considered calling you, but I was so fucking pissed that I needed to work it out of my body. So I ran."

"That was dangerous! What if you had fallen and genuinely hurt yourself?"

Emma let out a small chuckle. "I suppose Regina won't always be there to slam into and break my fall?"

"Ha. Ha. That's not funny, Em! You _just_ got out of the hospital!"

"Ugh! I know! I just... You weren't there, Mary Margaret. It was wicked intense, and I was so wound up. Running makes sense to me. It's easy, familiar, and grounding. What would you have done? Wait! Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"Do you think that maybe you should apologize?"

"To who?"

"To Regina."

"Oh, I thought you were gonna tell me to say sorry to those kids."

"I'd like to think that you would have had the decency to do so, but they kind of had it coming," Mary Margaret admitted with a blush of guilt. "However, I do think you managed to embarrass Regina more than they did."

"Why do you care? I thought you hated her more than I do?"

"I don't _hate_ her, Emma. Strongly dislike, yes, but I don't hate Regina. Even if I did, hate shouldn't stop me from doing the right thing." She held up a hand to stem the flow of protests that were about to tumble out of Emma's mouth. "You're the sheriff, and it's your job to set an example. Go and apologize. The sooner you get it over with, the better."

"But she'll-"

"I'm sure she won't graciously accept the gesture in any way, and I'm almost positive she'll just throw it back at you and insult you. Even so, you will have done the right thing, and she can't take that from you."

"Fine," Emma snapped. "But I'm not going to do it today. I'll do it on Monday. I'll need time to come up with a plan or something."

"A plan?" The brunette raised her eyebrows at her roommate.

"Hey, this is Regina we're talking about."

"You've got a point. You might want to come up with an escape plan while you're at it."

"It's already on my agenda," the blonde said with a tone of sarcastic humor.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma did not apologize to Regina the following Monday. She spent all of Sunday in a nervous fit, tossing around different ways to tell the mayor the regret she felt for her actions. The fact that she still couldn't sleep, being plagued by constant nightmares, and her inability to get warm didn't help her situation either. But when the time came, she stalled. And then she stalled again. She even had her phone out, one digit away from completing Regina's number before she lost her nerve for the billionth time that day.

When Mary Margaret came home from school to find her roommate sitting at the breakfast bar nursing a glass of scotch, a deep frown etched across her face. "I'm guessing it didn't go well?"

"Nothing happened, Mar."

"She didn't respond?"

"No, I mean I didn't go, or call, or anything." Emma's face was weary, her eyes dark and focusing on something far away. It was clear to the brunette that she hadn't slept well again.

"What happened?"

"I d'know. I mean, I want to apologize and all. I know it's the right thing to do, but..."

"But?"

Emma took another sip of her drink, scrunching her face in response to the way it burned her throat. "It's _weird_ , Mary Margaret. Apologizing to Regina doesn't feel right after all that we've been through and done to each other with no apologies prior."

"That's understandable, but Emma..." Mary Margaret paused, glancing down at the glass in her friend's hand. "Are you even allowed to have alcohol?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah I discontinued those meds today."

"Did you ask Dr Whale if you could start drinking immediately after? What if you have a reaction or something?"

"Calm down, Mar. Jeez, what are you, my mom?"

"I'm sorry, it's just..."

"I know, I know. You're looking out for me, and I appreciate it. I really do, but I'm not in the mood for mothering tonight."

"Didn't sleep well last night?"

"Nope," Emma said popping the 'p'. "And good ol' Jack here doesn't seem to be much help either."

"Have you talked to Whale?"

"Nah. I figure it'll pass in time."

"Emma-" But she stopped at the look the blonde shot her.

"It's not a matter of being drowsy or anything. I'm exhausted right down to my bones, and I know everyone around me can see it. It's just these damn nightmares that won't go away. Maybe if the doc could give me something for a dreamless sleep, then I'd be golden." Emma's words were bitter, but not because she was upset that there wasn't a pill for her problems, but because she felt somehow abandoned by that mystery person in her coma who always chased away the terror.

She was made to relive all of the visions that came with her coma, but why did her shrouded hero not come along as well? Where was he when she needed him? Gone, like everyone else. Every person that entered her life and managed to assuage some of her pain always left in the end. And even though she knew it was childish and silly to feel anger over the lack of her Dream Savior's presence, she couldn't fight those petulant urges that rose in her like a fire in a drought.

"Maybe you could talk to Archie about hypnosis?"

Emma shuddered visibly. "Thanks but no thanks."

"Still not over those kisses?"

"What do you think?" she asked after polishing off her drink. "I still feel gross and mildly violated, and I'm waiting to see when I get my first breakout of mouth herpes."

"Not sure anyone in town has herpes..."

"And you know this how?"

"Small town gossip, Em. Plus, I did sort of have that thing with Whale, and he liked to talk about some of the things he's seen as a doctor. Some of it was pretty nasty."

"Guess he knows how to show a girl a good time..."

"I'm a teacher, Emma. I've seen _a lot_ of less-than-savory things coming from all different orifices of my students. You get a strong stomach from that." Mary Margaret started laughing loudly at the horrified expression on the blonde's face.

"On that disgusting note of which I want zero further details, I'm gonna go do some of my stretches. I'm hoping to get back to work next week. Being stuck gimping around is driving me nuts."

"I've got papers to grade, so I'll leave you to it."

"I'll try again tomorrow."

"Try what?"

"Apologizing. I wanna do things right, and I wanna show Regina that I'm... I d'know...good? Better? That I can do the right things?"

Mary Margaret flashed Emma a warm, encouraging smile. "Of course you can, Em. You've got this."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

_Meet me at Granny's for lunch? I've got something I need to say._

 

That was the text that Emma sent to Regina the following morning after she agonized over the short message since 6am. She had retyped the text a dozen times, deleted the message, nearly thrown her phone and clawed at her face over and over again before she decided that there was no good way of doing this. She finally opted for something brief and vague, sure to get Regina's attention.

Fifteen minutes later Emma's phone buzzed in response: _I am quite busy today, Ms Swan. As such, I do not have time for idle meals with the town's emotionally-unstable cripple. If it's really important, you can call my office and set up an appointment, which, I seem to have to constantly remind you, is standard procedure._

"Seriously! Wow, way to go Regina. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Can't believe I'm going to be apologizing to you later today..."

_Mar, Regina called me an 'emotionally-unstable cripple' when I asked her to lunch so I could say sorry. Do I really have to apologize?_

**Yes, you do. Prove her wrong.**

_But I don't want to! She's going to be so difficult!_

**And you'll be playing right into her hands if you give in to your frustration. Now quit stalling and do what needs done. I have a class now, so good luck, and I'll see you tonight!**

"Being responsible sucks," Emma muttered to herself while she punched in the numbers for Regina's office.

"Storybrooke City Hall, this is the mayor's office, can I help you?" a girl's voice came through the speaker.

"Uh, yeah. This is Emma Swan, and I'm wondering if Regina has any openings for today? It's kinda urgent."

"Let me take a look." There was a short pause. "It would appear that Mayor Mills is booked for today. Her earliest opening isn't until Thursday. Would you like me to put you down for a time on that day?"

Emma had a strong feeling that the brunette had told her secretary not to book any meetings with the sheriff should she call. A hot bubble of anger swelled in her chest.

"Nope. Thanks for nothing. Have a great day."

_Will you please meet me for lunch? It's important._

**Ms Swan, does my being busy seem to translate in your pathetic excuse for a brain to continue to bother me? I told you earlier to confer with my receptionist.**

_Well it seems that you're conveniently booked all day._

**I did not lie when I said I was busy.**

_And yet you have time to text me? Weird._

**Perhaps I am simply good a multi-tasking. A skill you could benefit from.**

_It doesn't matter how busy you are, even mayors need to eat. Lunch will be on me, I just really need to say something, and it's important._

Emma sat waiting for a response for over fifteen minutes. She sulked at the table, just staring at her screen and fidgeting with her fingernails. Her phone buzzed.

**You will meet me at 12:30 _sharp_. You will have fifteen minutes. Not a second more. **

_I'll be there._

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma sat at one of the booths, more than ten minutes early. She figured the best way to start off was to show Regina that she _could_ be punctual - even if she didn't care too much for it. She stared out the window, her weary features pinched with anxiety. Under normal circumstances, this would be nothing more than a minor nuisance, but she couldn't quite place where all of her jitters were coming from.

She swirled her finger absentmindedly through her ice water, mildly aware of the fact that her own skin was so cold that it barely registered a temperature difference in the water. She jumped a little every time she saw a dark car drive by, expecting it to be Regina's Mercedes.

She glanced down at the time on her phone for the hundredth time. It read 12:25. Her eyes slid back up to the window, and Emma felt her heart jump to her throat when she saw the mayor's car pulling into a spot on the side of the road. She felt the tiniest of smiles pull one corner of her mouth. Of course Regina would be precisely five minutes early.

The blonde spied the slightest of limps in the mayor's gait, and she found herself wondering once again what had happened to her. She was almost positive that that limp had not been present prior to her stay in the hospital, so what happened?

The bell over the door tinkled merrily when Regina casually strode in, and Emma's lips curled into another small smile when she saw the older woman pause almost imperceptibly, clearly thrown by the fact that she was already there.

"Ms Swan, so nice to see you on time for once in your life."

"Nice to see you too, Regina."

Ruby slid up to their table. "Anything I can get you ladies? Coffee?"

"No, thank you," the brunette responded curtly.

"How about you, Em? Bear claw? Slice of apple pie? It's still hot."

"Urgh, no, Rubes. Don't mention apples around me... I might puke."

Ruby looked at the blonde strangely. "Er, okay. Holler if you need me."

"Why the sudden aversion to apples?" Regina blurted before she could stop herself.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I remember liking them before my stupid coma, and then I wake up and now the very thought of them makes me sick. So, let's change the subject."

"Indeed. You said you had something important to tell me?"

"Yes, I suppose I did." Emma licked her lips nervously, while she swirled the ice cubes around her glass once more.

"Ms Swan, I gave you fifteen minutes. You're down to eleven."

Emma cleared her throat. "Right. Listen, I uh... I just wanted to say..." She faltered, tripping over words that weren't coming.

"Your eloquence is astonishing."

"You're not helping!" Emma snapped back. "I wanted to apologize." The sheriff watched the slow ascent of Regina's eyebrows into her hairline. "I know, this is equally painful for me as well, okay? I wanted to apologize for my behavior on Saturday. It was uncalled for and really inappropriate. I'm sorry. For embarrassing you and stuff."

Regina's eyes narrowed at the woman across from her. "Is that all you wanted, Ms Swan? To apologize?"

"Yeah, what a crazy concept. I'm not looking for anything, or trying to play some trick. What I did was bad, and now I'm trying to make up for it."

A strange expression passed over the mayor's face, as though she was perplexed by the idea of an unsolicited apology. Emma continued to play with her ice. "Thank you," Regina said in the smallest of voices.

Emma's jaw practically hit the floor. "Uh... You're welcome?"

"Have you found a solution to your sleeping problem?" the brunette asked almost gently.

"No. Still got a head full of nightmares, and no Dream Savior to speak of."

"Dream Savior?"

"Uh, yeah. It's a long story, and you're busy. Why does it matter to you anyway?"

"I never said it mattered. However, Mr Nolan is only acting sheriff. Regrettably, you will need to be back at the station to do your job. You need to be healthy for that."

"Right. Well, I should be back to work on Monday."

"Indeed. Thank you, Ms Swan for the apology. I have to get back to City Hall. Enjoy treating your finger for frostbite." She gestured briefly at the digit on Emma's left hand that remained submerged in her water throughout their exchange. Without another word, Regina swept away, not glancing back at the frowning woman she left at the booth.

"Okay, so even from a distance, that looked painful to watch."

"Good to know, Rubes."

"What were you guys talking about? You looked like you were going to puke all over her."

The image of Regina's exasperated face as her expensive clothes became doused in vomit tugged at the corners of Emma's mouth. "Can you imagine the way she'd scream if I did?"

"I'm pretty sure all of the windows would break."

"But she raised Henry. You think she'd be used to a little puke. And I'm sure with the reign of terror she's got going on in City Hall, that she's made more than one intern lose their lunch from fear alone."

"Yeah, but anything that comes out of Henry is excusable _because_ it's Henry. You, on the other hand..."

"I'd be spraying my cooties all over her."

Ruby lapsed into a fit of giggles. "Really, Emma? Cooties?"

"Yeah, everyone's got 'em!"

The waitress immediately held out her forearm, tracing two circles and a dot in the center of each while chanting the sacred mantra of the cootie shot. "I'm cootie-free, Emma!"

"Great, why couldn't _you_ have played tonsil-hockey with me while I was in my coma?"

A flush dark enough to match Ruby's namesake spread across her cheeks in roughly two seconds.

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Oh my God! You kissed me!"

"Augh! No, I did _not_ kiss you! Henry only let dudes kiss you anyway."

"Well, True Love's Kiss didn't work on me. Go figure, right?"

The flush on the waitress' cheeks deepened further. "Yeah, go figure," she echoed nervously. "I gotta go clean...something. Later, Em!"

The young woman scampered off, leaving Emma feeling undeniably confused about what they just talked about - rather, what did not get said. But the blonde was exhausted, and she was done pushing for the day. She got the apology off of her chest, and a bizarre show of subtle concern from the mayor in response. There was no point in prying any more into something that was clearly more complex than it looked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	21. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma regains her memories, and with those come the truth of how she came to be in a coma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: This chapter gets pretty violent for this fic. If you cannot handle physical assault, please skip this chapter! It's about to get pretty heavy between our leading ladies, so buckle up and hold on tight. Also, thanks to Jasmine for being my lovely Beta on this chapter. You can find her here: obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com She makes all of my Swan Queen better!

Early Thursday morning had a sleepless Emma in a searing hot shower. She was certain that she would come out of it with second-degree burns, but the severe temperature that she now bathed in were the only moments when she felt as though she had finally returned to the 98.6 that her body was supposed to be at.

Emma was finishing up rinsing out her long curls, humming tunelessly to herself when an errant clump of suds slid down her forehead and right into her eye. The blonde cursed loudly, clutching at her face. In her attempt to jerk away from the stream of water, she felt her leg tremble, then give out. A strangled yell slipped from her lips before her head collided heavily with the edge of the tub. All of her senses went dark.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Mary Margaret was standing at the kitchen table, rifling through all of her papers and books to make sure that she had everything she needed before heading off to the school. She found, since Emma moving into her tiny abode, that it was both a blessing and a curse that one could hear almost everything that happened inside the little apartment. On that Thursday morning, it happened to be a blessing.

She heard a string of muffled curses coming from the upstairs bathroom. Soap in the eyes seemed to be a regular occurrence for her roommate, so the brunette thought nothing of it. However, the profanity was immediately followed by a deep, clattering thud and then deafening silence.

The teacher stood frozen, waiting for any further sounds, and when none were forthcoming, she sprang into action, leaping up the stairs two at a time. She rapped her knuckles sharply against the bathroom door. "Emma? Emma, are you okay?" Her only response was the gushing sound of the showerhead. She knocked louder, hoping for some sort of indicator that her roommate wasn't injured.

When her efforts bore no fruit, Mary Margaret barged into the bathroom, squinting through the heavy steam billowing around her. She zeroed in on the tub, and saw an unmoving arm slung over the edge, connected to an equally motionless, naked blonde.

She gasped, flinging herself to Emma's side, shutting off the water, breathing a momentary sigh of relief when she saw that the woman hadn't landed face-down in the two inches of blistering water. With one hand, she yanked down the nearest towel, draping it over Emma's bare body. She could see the steady rise and fall of her chest, eliciting another brief sigh of relief. She wasn't dead.

There was no blood, but Mary Margaret saw the angry, purplish contusion rapidly stretching itself out underneath the sheriff's skin on her forehead near her left temple. She wanted to move the injured woman, but she remembered what she had learned in her first aid training for school; any attempt to move the victim of a head or neck injury could result in further or even life-threatening damage.

She pulled a hand towel from the cupboard under the sink, soaking it with icy water. She'd get ice once Emma was awake. Moving sodden strands gently from the unconscious woman's forehead, the brunette lightly pressed the cool cloth to the ugly blemish on her face.

Mary Margaret continued her tender ministrations until a deep, drawn-out groan was expelled from Emma's throat. She jumped, dropping the cloth with a soft _splat_ right across her roommate's face. She snatched it up, blushing furiously. The blonde groaned again.

"Emma? Can you hear me? Try not to move too quickly. You took a nasty fall, and I don't know if you're hurt."

"Mar..."

"Do I need to call the hospital?"

"Dun...know. Can't...catch...a break." Emma slowly shifted so that she was stretched out in the tub, with her head propped up on the end; the brunette quickly stuffed the hand towel under Emma's head while simultaneously keeping the big towel over her shaky body.

"Did you break anything?"

"Nah... Broken bones hurt...more." She kept her green eyes pressed shut, vainly hoping that the simple action would help quell the pounding in her skull.

"You're going to have a big bruise from where you hit your head on the tub. I bet I could make it look better with some cover-up and-"

Emma suddenly leant over the edge of the basin, her meager breakfast coming back up again.

"I think I need to call Whale. You could have a concussion. Let me get-"

"Mar," came the deep growl of the sheriff.

"Mm?"

Emma fixed her roommate with a look of hatred and betrayal. It turned the brunette's blood to ice. "I remember."

"You do?" Her voice sounded faint, unable to tear her eyes from the gaze that now resembled a feral beast.

"I remember _everything_ , Mary Margaret. And I know you weren't there, but I also know that you _knew_ what happened anyway." The blonde's words were unnervingly calm, but never without the vicious accusation that colored every syllable.

"I... You weren't... What was I supposed to say?" Her feeble excuse was met with a firm, wet slap across the face that sent her toppling to the side. "You fucking knew! And you didn't even tell me!" her voice was rising, echoing in the small room.

"Emma! I'm sorry, but it's clearly not a simple subject-"

"Get out. _Now._ "

"Emma, you just need to relax. You've just been hurt, and you're not thinking right." The words rushed out, trying to be gentle and placating, but they ended up sounding small and frightened.

"It would be in your best interest to leave before I decide to do more than slap you, you _cunt_." The words came out with such venomous force that all Mary Margaret could do was squeak in terror while she scrambled out of the room, the resounding slamming of the front door meeting Emma's ears shortly after.

The blonde retched again, re-emptying her already-vacant stomach. All of the images, every word, every sound, every memory slammed against her like a giant sack of cinder blocks laced with rusty nails. She remembered trying to leave Storybrooke, and she remembered the sound of Henry's distressed pleading. She remembered him warning her that the turnover given to her by Regina was poisoned, and she remembered the bite she took, followed by blackness.

_Given to her by Regina._

 

Emma slipped while flying out of the bathtub, not even bothering to dry herself off as she slammed her body into the first clothing items her trembling fingers came into contact with. Once she was dressed, boots on, red leather armor over her shoulders, Emma snatched up her gun, fixing it to her hip. She sprinted from the apartment to her yellow bug. She didn't notice her petrified roommate watch her tear out of the building, and she definitely didn't hear the gasp of horror when Mary Margaret saw the gun at her side.

Emma pealed out of the parking lot, wishing she could blare the lights and sirens of her police cruiser that she didn't have on her way to City Hall where she knew the mayor would be. She blasted through several stop signs, nearly bowling over several pedestrians and narrowly avoiding a collision at one of the intersections, but she didn't give a flying fuck. She had a pressing appointment with Mayor Mills.

Her boots echoed tightly in the halls as she thundered down the familiar path to Regina's spacious office. She blatantly ignored the alarmed warnings of the secretary as Emma physically skidded to a halt outside the double doors. One look shut the gibbering girl up.

With more control than she thought possible, Emma quietly opened the door, slipping in, keeping her back to the large desk occupying the focus of the room. She heard the scraping of chair legs against the marble floor when she deftly threw the lock in place.

"Ms Swan-" Regina started in an irritated huff, but when her intruder turned to finally face her, a gasp tumbled from perfect red lips. She saw Emma Swan, hair a ratty mess, with an enormous, purple swelling on her forehead glaring at her with such ferocity Regina was sure that the room might combust around them.

Before another sound could escape her lips, she felt the iron fist of an enraged sheriff plow solidly into the left side of her jaw. White-hot pain filled the area as she was thrown off balance, her neck cricking painfully from the impact. Regina didn't have a chance to straighten up from the first punch before a second one buried itself deep into her gut, doubling her over, knocking the wind from her lungs.

Regina's instincts kicked on like a light, and when she sensed another impact heading her way, she clumsily blocked it, then pushed the blonde away from her as hard as she could, still panting heavily from the blow to her stomach.

Emma had slammed roughly into Regina's desk, moving the heavy thing an inch or two. She leant over it, growling with fury, trying to catch her breath for a moment. She spied a gleaming, ripe, red apple sitting innocently beside a tray of paperwork. Blinding rage renewed within her gut when she saw the fruit that nearly murdered her just resting before her eyes.

She could hear the mayor coming closer to try and attack her with her back turned. Emma's fingers wrapped tightly around the apple, and she spun around, slamming her new bludgeon against the side of Regina's head. A severe, mirthless grin spread across her features when she heard the sharp, guttural scream echo around the office as the firm flesh of the fruit split against her skull.

Emma could hear shouting outside the office. Regina was screaming at her from the floor, but no sound seemed to register in her brain. Instead, her fists curled around the lapels of the mayor's blood-stained blazer, and she hauled her off the ground, forcefully slamming her target into the back wall. Another smirk appeared when she heard the breath wheeze from between parted lips. Regina's head bounced painfully off of the wall.

Emma's fingers found purchase around the mayor's thin throat. "YOU'RE A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC LUNATIC! I REMEMBER EVERYTHING, REGINA! YOU TRIED TO FUCKING _KILL_ ME, YOU MURDEROUS ASSHOLE! FOR WHAT?! FOR HENRY?" Regina's face was turning a deep shade of red, while she spluttered, trying to suck in any ounce of air she could find, blood dribbling from the corner of her mouth, nose, and from under her hair. Her hands clawed at Emma's face, leaving long, sanguine scratches down an ugly mask of unbridled fury.

"IF YOU THOUGHT HE HATED YOU BEFORE, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'D _EVER_ FORGIVE YOU FOR KILLNG ME? HUH? _YOU'RE FUCKING EVIL, REGINA. AND THIS TIME, EVIL NEEDS TO **DIE**!_ "

The doors behind her smashed open, David bursting through along with several volunteer deputies in tow. He had his gun out, but all of his bravado and command fell when he saw someone who was supposed to be Emma Swan forcefully strangling a bloodied mayor.

Emma's head swung around, her green eyes blazing without an ounce of compassion, not even flinching at the weapon trained on her. A drop of blood fell from the edge of her chin. That same wicked grin tore across her twisted face. Regina continued to sputter in her iron grip.

"Emma Swan, you are under arrest for aggravated assault and attempted murder. If you do not stand down, I am authorized to use lethal force." His voice was loud, but every single person heard the evident waver, completely undermining any threat he may have tried to hold against the blonde.

"You don't have the guts, _Sheriff_." Her eyes flitted down to the piece shaking in his clammy hands. She snorted in triumph. "You're just a fucking pussy, and everyone can see it."

She heard a gargling cough from behind her, and turned her head to look at the purple-faced mayor, seeing her brown eyes rolling into the back of her skull. Henry's face blasted through her roiling rage, suddenly realizing that she was minutes away from committing an act she herself had moments before berated the brunette for. Her stiff fingers loosened slightly, and she heard her victim take as much extra air as she physically could.

Emma Swan was many things, but she was not a murderer. Her grip loosened a little more. Regina's eyes locked onto hers, and she saw raw fear in a face that had never before betrayed anything beyond haughty superiority. It made Emma feel sick to her stomach. She pulled the mayor close to her face; they were barely an inch apart, and Emma could feel flecks of spittle and blood hitting her cheeks while Regina still struggled for breath.

" _Your move, Madame Mayor,_ " she whispered evenly into the woman's mouth. She threw the brunette to the ground, spitting on her for her final touch of humiliation. Without another word, the blonde ran. She blasted past the stunned David, and all of the onlookers that were left scared shitless. She blew by every paramedic, every employee of the City Hall, every pedestrian, and she blew by a teary Mary Margaret.

Emma slammed into her bug, tearing away from the scene, horrific calm brought on by shock being the only thing keeping her from regurgitating everything within her body all over herself and her car. She was panting heavily, feeling a tingly-numbness in all of her fingers and toes, and madly blinking blood from her eyes.

She couldn't go back to the apartment, and she couldn't exactly stay at Granny's without her presence being discovered. She couldn't leave Storybrooke; that would only make things worse for everyone. Especially Henry. But she needed to get away. If she had a tent, she could crash in the woods for a few days. However, Emma did not own a tent.

But the woods seemed like they held the most promise. When she thought about it a moment longer, the memory of a tiny cabin tucked away in the forest where Mr Gold brought Moe to do some homegrown interrogation swam into her view. She was sure it didn't have power, or heat, but she had roughed it with less in her glory days. It seemed like the best place for her to hide out while she could try to wrestle the typhoon of hatred, violence, betrayal, disgust and anguish into submission.

She jerked the wheel of the bug, directing herself toward the dirt roads that wove like the paths of a labyrinth into the murky depths of the Maine forest. The farther she drove from town, the more surreal Emma's situation became, and she genuinely couldn't tell if she was trapped in another one of her nightmares, or if reality had indeed decided to take a huge dump on her. The former seemed more appealing, so she stuck to the misty hopes that she would wake up before the shit really hit the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, guys! It has to get worse before it can get better! You can always find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com I promise that I don't bite! Come say hi!


	22. The Mayor Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina tries to handle the aftermath of Emma's attack. Thankfully, Henry comes to her aid, ever her hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! The responses I got on the last chapter were AMAZING! I'm sorry for the wait on this update, but it was particularly difficult for me to get this chapter out of my head and onto the page. I hope it doesn't disappoint. Please comment and let me know what you think; reviews keep me motivated!

Regina was sprawled on the floor, clutching at her bruised flesh, coughing through her struggle to breathe. David rushed over to her, and the anxiety bleeding off of him just made the wounded brunette want to punch him solidly in the face.

"Regina! Are you okay? Can you stand? One of the EMTs will be here soon. Oh my God, you're bleeding!" Words continued to dribble out of his mouth, and he kept moving his hands to the mayor before pulling them back, unsure as to whether or not he should actually touch her.

"Well spotted, Sherlock," she rasped at him, little flecks of blood flew from her mouth with the force of her words.

"Here, let me help you." He leaned in to try and pull her upright, but he was met with a surprisingly forceful shove.

"Don't you _dare_ try to lay a hand on me, Sheriff."

"Regina, you can't stay on the floor..."

"That's Mayor Mills, you thick-skulled swine! If you try to come near me again, I swear to every deity in existence that I will end you SO FUCKING FAST!" she shrieked, slumping closer to the floor from the effort she tried to muster from her weakened body.

David was struck silent by her outburst, pulling away from her, his mouth agape. He rapidly realized that he wasn't needed, and instead, set about clearing away the gathering crowd of rubber-neckers to make way for the paramedics.

Regina refused to allow herself the indignation of being lifted onto a gurney, and she forcefully insisted that she remain on the floor during her examination. She let them check her for signs of concussion, treat her head wound and look at her throat, but once they started to strongly recommend taking her to the hospital, the brunette felt unbidden panic swell in her aching chest.

"No. I don't want to see a doctor! I don't want to go to the hospital, and I won't need any more treatment!"

"Madame Mayor, we insist. You need-"

"I won't go back there! What I really need is for you frivolous idiots to leave me alone! I am done! Leave now, or I will see to it that each and every one of you are fired for your incompetence."

All of them packed up their supplies and scattered like roaches in the sunlight, knowing full well that Regina's wrath was in no way quelled by any physical injuries she may have sustained. Once they cleared off, she shakily got to her feet, moving as steadily as she could manage to her desk chair. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the screaming aches peppering her face and torso. All she wanted to do was be alone with her pain, but it would seem that fate had a cruel sense of humor.

A delicate cough reached her ears, and she looked up to see an extremely nervous Mary Margaret. Regina was mildly grateful that the woman had enough common sense to avoid looking at her directly, instead focusing her twitchy gaze on a spot somewhere in front of her crooked desk. At the same time, she couldn't help but wish the other woman would have the balls to look at the tattered mayor before her, and still cower in fear.

"Ms Blanchard," she croaked, her voice lacking its usual bite. "I hardly find this to be an appropriate time for whatever inane platitudes you think necessary at this moment. I can assure you, they're not."

"My apologies, Mayor Mills, but I'm here to ask if you want me to bring Henry to see you?"

Regina felt as though a cinderblock had just slid into her stomach. What would Henry say? She could just imagine the look of disgust on his face when he looks upon her battered face. No, she needed time to put herself together. She needed time to be strong for him.

"No. He needs to stay in school."

"Would... Would you like me to tell him what happened? Or would you prefer to do that yourself?"

"Let me handle it." Her voice came out as nothing more than a weary whisper.

"Listen, Regina... I just want you to know that I was the one who called David."

The mayor's brown eyes flicked up to the teacher's, unable to see where that statement was going. "How did you know?"

Mary Margaret wrung her hands, taking a deep breath before letting the words jumble out of her mouth. "Because I was there when she got her memory back."

"I see..."

"She fell and hit her head in the shower; she blacked out completely." The image of the unsightly bruise on the sheriff's forehead swam through Regina's mind. "I suppose the blow triggered something. She started yelling... Blaming me for not telling her about what happened that night. She..." Regina saw fresh tears in the other woman's eyes. "She slapped me."

It was then that the mayor saw the faint hint of a bruise beneath one unusually pink cheek, but she couldn't find it in herself to care in the slightest. "Pardon me if I don't feel an overabundance of sympathy for you," she stated flatly.

"Oh! Goodness no! I'm not trying to compare... Er... Either way, I saw Emma leaving the apartment with her gun. I was afraid she was going to try something, and I knew she was upset with you. I called David right after."

"Should I be thanking you? Or him? I suppose I should be grateful that that abhorrent woman didn't shoot me dead on sight? I should be grateful she wanted to make me suffer first? That she liked to toy with her prey? That way your _boyfriend_ would have enough time to what? 'Rescue' me?"

Mary Margaret's mouth hung open in abject horror. "I never meant it like-"

"I should be arranging a ceremony to give that brainless oaf a commendation for his bravery and swift response time! After all, he did _nothing_ to stop... _her_ from nearly murdering me!"

"Regina, please!" Mary Margaret was whimpering helplessly.

"In fact, that pathetic moron let himself get verbally trampled by her! I only wish that she had let go of me just so I could watch her pummel the stupid out of him!"

"R-Regina..." Tears were running down her face.

"Don't you even think for a fraction of a second about defending him! And don't think I owe you _anything!_ I don't owe you thanks, nor am I in your debt in any way," she spat, suddenly aware of the fact that she was now on her feet. She could taste blood in her mouth again, and her stomach churned in response.

The petite brunette tried to splutter some pointless apology, but Regina grabbed the first thing on her desk that she could wrap her trembling fingers around - a plastic container of tangled paperclips - and hurled it at the other woman. It whizzed by the teacher's shoulder, and smashed in a brilliant explosion of plastic shards and metal clips on the wall next to the broken doors. Mary Margaret squeaked in fright, taking the not-so-subtle hint to leave, and scurried away without another word.

Regina's head spun, and she momentarily lost her balance, falling back into her chair again. All of her limbs felt like they had been injected with lead, while little white lights popped up in her vision. She allowed her head to slump forward, squeezing blazing-hot tears from behind her eyelids, seeing nothing but Emma's twisted, bloody, snarling face. The only sound in the empty office was the echoes of the blonde's breaking screams, and Regina only wept harder in her new solitude.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina sat at her vanity. She had been staring at her reflection for the last two hours. A half-drunk tumbler of cider stood off to her left - it was her third since arriving back home - accompanied by a blood-stained towel wrapped around an icepack. Her gaze drifted down to her throat, as it had done every few minutes, half expecting some sort of change; she didn't know what kind.

She brought her hand up to delicately trace the blotchy, reddish-purple imprints of where Emma's fingers held her fast. She swallowed another mouthful of cider, cringing slightly at the way it ached to do so. The brunette felt another sticky clot of blood seeping through her hair, and she knew that she probably needed stitches, but the very thought of going back to the hospital sent a shudder rippling through her body. It was too soon to be back there, to be back where she always found Emma, to be where she always seemed to find her pain lately.

Her bloodshot eyes tracked over her face again. The whole left side of her jaw was swollen and bruised. She could still taste the remnants of blood in her mouth from where the inside of her cheek had split open from the impact, and one of her molars felt a little loose. Her hair was pinned back and away from her temple on the same side. The steri-strips the EMTs had placed there earlier were no longer white, but an ugly shade of rust-red.

A sigh bubbled up in her chest, but when she inhaled, the tiniest groan of pain passed between her lips, bending slightly at the deep ache seated under her solar plexus. She knew the giant contusion on her stomach probably looked worse now than when she had seen it several hours prior when she changed into her comfort clothes - a pair of soft, satin pajamas.

Regina hissed slightly when she pressed the icepack to her inflamed cheek, the pain dulled slightly from the amount of alcohol she had consumed within the last hour. Her brain was filled with a heady buzz, her eyelids drooping a little more with the exhaustion from her long morning. She became vaguely aware of a voice echoing throughout the mansion but paid no mind to it. She didn't have the strength to face Henry. Not like this. She could never let him see her battered, drunk, and defeated.

She prepared for that by leaving her son a long note explaining how she didn't feel well, that his dinner was in the refrigerator and he was to do his homework _before_ reading any comics or watching any TV. He was not to bother her unless there was an emergency. She could only pray that that explanation would be satisfactory to the overly-curious boy.

Her prayers never were answered. Why should they start now? She heard Henry thumping up the stairs roughly ten minutes after he came home. Regina squeezed her eyes shut, keeping the cold compress up against her face, hoping that he would just barrel into his room and leave her be. She remembered a short time ago when he wouldn't have been happier to find such a note waiting for him, granting him reprieve from his evil mother.

A soft knock sounded at her door. Regina did not respond. She gritted her teeth, willing her son to take her silence as evidence that she was asleep. He knocked again, this time softly calling out to her through the door. A lump rose painfully in the woman's ravaged throat, cursing herself for resisting him.

"Mom...? I know you're in there, and I know you're not sick or whatever. I don't think you're asleep either. If you're awake, will you please answer?"

 _Love is weakness_ , she was once told. How right that statement was. "I'm here," she rasped, the gravelly grate of her voice almost making Henry rethink his claim about his mother not being sick. Regina got up and moved over to the door, pressing her hand against the cool wood to steady her swaying body.

"You...you aren't sick, are you?" he mumbled through the crack between the door and its frame.

"No, sweetie. I'm not sick."

"What happened to you?"

The lump tracked its way back up her throat when she heard the genuine concern in his small voice. Regina could tell he was right on the other side of the barrier separating them, pressed up against it like she was. Oddly enough, it was the closest she's felt to her son in a very, _very_ long time. "It's...complicated," she whispered. Honesty was having a hard time making friends with the brunette at that moment, afraid to admit the truth to him.

"Mom? Are you hurt?" Silence met his ears, and he knew after an uncomfortable, pregnant pause that he wasn't going to get an answer to his question. "I don't know what happened. I heard a couple of things, like, something happened at the town hall with you? And that Emma was there, but that's all I know."

 _Good,_ Regina thought. _He doesn't need to suffer any more hurt than he already has right now._

"...I'm scared." That statement made her want to fling that door open and scoop him into a back-breaking hug, to soothe the fears from his mind, and fight away all of the monsters that dared darken his dreams. But right now, Regina was one of those monsters. If he was scared now, seeing his mother in her current condition would only magnify those fears.

"Are... Are you going to be okay?" His innocent concern sent a wave of warmth crashing through Regina, and she felt a smile pricking at her mouth.

She wanted to tell him that everything was indeed going to be okay, but that was a lie. Wasn't it? Regina was battered. Emma was declared missing, and a wanted criminal under charges of aggravated assault and attempted murder. The mayor wanted to take one of her brass letter openers and slit the blonde open from navel to nose for doing what she did to her, and in public no less. Could things possibly be any further from okay?

"Mom?" Henry broke her of her train of thought.

"It's complicated," she repeated. "But...but we'll find a way to fix it." The words tumbled out of her mouth, not wanting to leave him without hope. "Henry, honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't I call Ms Blanchard, and you can spent the night with her. I'm not fit to-"

"No."

"Henry..."

"No. I just got to come back home a couple days ago, and I know that things are messed up, like, a lot right now." Regina's heart swelled a little with pride at her son's display. "You're my mom. Emma is too, but I'm gonna stay with _you_." Hot tears pooled in the corners of the brunette's eyes. "We're family, and I'm not gonna abandon you, okay?"

Regina let out a garbled, "Yes," before choking back a sob, partly out of dignity, partly from the pain throbbing in her body.

"And, I like Ms Blanchard and all, but she... _hovers_." He said the word with a distaste that he could have gotten only from her, and her alone. She let out a small snort of laughter at his dislike for Mary Margaret's style of baby-sitting. "Besides, my bed is comfier. You're stuck with me, got it?"

"Good," she whispered shakily. "I love you, Henry." There was a beat of silence, and Regina couldn't tell if he heard her, or just didn't want to respond.

"Love you too, Mom," he whispered through the crack. "Let me know if you need me, 'kay?"

"Okay..."

"I'm leaving Stuffles, my lion, outside your door. He's always watched over me. He'll watch over you if you want him to." Regina was unable to respond; she was so consumed with fighting back ten thousand tidal waves of emotion that were all threatening to consume her completely.

"I'm gonna go do my homework. Hang in there, Mom. Holler if you need me." She heard him padding off down the hallway, and her ears picked up the creaking of his door swinging closed.

Regina waited a moment before opening her door a minute amount, peeking through the crack to see if he was watching. The hallway was empty, and she opened it further, stooping with a stifled grunt to pick up the toy Henry left for her. Closing the door once more, she collapsed into her bed, holding Stuffles tightly against her chest. The scent of her son that clung to the synthetic fur calmed her turbulent thoughts, and she rapidly slipped into much-needed sleep.

_Regina found herself observing from afar a time when she was about twelve years old, and going strong in a stubborn streak. She had been doing poorly in some of her lessons, and her mother punished her by removing her riding privileges for an entire month. Frustrated, the young girl chose to deliberately slack in her etiquette lessons, the only ones that Cora diligently oversaw._

_When her mother picked up on what she was doing, the enraged woman conjured a razor-sharp switch. She struck Regina relentlessly across her back until her dress was in tatters and her flesh bled profusely from a dozen different lacerations without so much as a word to her child. After Cora ceased her punishment, Regina turned, whimpering with tears streaking her young face, to look up at the woman she called Mother._

_The heartless woman swiftly brought the back of her hand down across her daughter's cheek, speaking without a trace of guilt about how it was for the best. How could Regina ever expect to find a husband worthy of her breeding if she gave in to her selfish, pointless impulses?_

_Cora had the girl sent to her bedchambers along with nurses to treat her injuries. She was locked in her room for seven days following, and allowed no visitors beyond the nursemaids sent to cure her. When she came in to tell her daughter that her isolation was ended, she also healed the slow-closing slashes with her magic._

_Cora tenderly stroked her fingers across her daughter's gaunt face. "I could never let my beautiful girl be uglied forever," she whispered. "I want you perfect, and unmarred for the man you will some day marry. No Queen will have scars from childhood punishment." She tucked her fingers under the girl's chin, forcing her to look up. "I'm doing this for you, Regina. Do you understand that?"_

_"Yes, Mother," she muttered._

_"Good girl," she said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "Now, back to your lessons."_

The brunette slammed upright, groaning loudly as pain blossomed in all parts of her upper body. Sweat had completely soaked through the pajamas that she had donned earlier, and she thought she felt the phantom biting of gashes, long gone from another life that didn't feel like hers. She only became vaguely aware of tears staining her smarting face when she brought her hands up to try and wipe away some of the perspiration. Her heart hammered away in her heaving chest, and her stomach writhed relentlessly.

Without a second thought, she groped around in the bed until she found the discarded Stuffles, and hugged him tightly, pressing a little kiss into his frazzled mane, much like a child does when frightened. If anything, Regina didn't feel scared. No. She felt terrified, shaken, and more than a little queasy. She buried her nose into his worn fur, inhaling deeply, desperately trying to believe that the dream was only a nightmare. Nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I extend my deepest thanks to Jasmine for helping me figure out this chapter. You can find her lovely self at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and you can find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


	23. The Sheriff Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma gets a little help dealing with the aftermath of her actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long in my update. I'm suffering through my second plague, and I've been emotionally strung out. I hope this chapter satisfies all of you lovely readers! Thanks so much for all of the support and reviews! Keep them coming, they keep me writing!

_The day after the attack_

Emma was lying on the dusty floor of the cabin, doing some of her strengthening exercises after a very long and sleepless night. She would have spent the majority of it pacing, trying to come to terms with what she had actually done to Regina and the crime she very nearly committed. However, the persistent weakness in her legs prevented her from doing so. Thankfully, she kept a small first aid kit in her beetle. She spent the better part of an hour dabbing at the long scratches down her face with peroxide, jumping at every sound or imagined movement. She didn't bother wasting her limited supply of band-aids on the new wounds, so she gobbed on a healthy layer of Neosporin over each jagged abrasion.

Emma kept hearing the chopped, strangled cries that Regina attempted to voice to get her to stop. She could still feel the hot specks of blood and spittle sprinkling her face, and her stomach turned when she caught herself fantasizing about _not_ letting the brunette go. The blonde _knew_ that the unholy being of Regina Mills had tried to kill her, so why shouldn't she be paid in kind?

Sure, the mayor was still alive, but now she knew that Emma could get close. Close enough to hurt her. Emma knew this basically catapulted her over the line of their battle of wills, but Regina had made the first move. She _always_ made the first move.

A fresh wave of fury bubbled in the pit of her stomach when she remembered the first sight to greet her eyes after waking up from the coma. It was Regina above her, and Emma couldn't fight the savage thoughts that tore through her mind. That fucking woman was probably just trying to off her for good, but of course, the cowardly bitch ran.

She tried to sleep on the moldy old bed under the musty, scratchy wool blanket that made her sneeze, but she couldn't get her mind to sit still for even one second. She tossed and turned, shivering constantly not only from her permanent chill, but Maine wasn't particularly balmy in the autumn. She did manage to light a fire in the tiny fireplace, but the drafts whisked away any heat that wasn't within three feet of the crackling logs.

Emma flexed her fingers constantly, and every single time she felt an ache of pain flash through them, the image of Regina's bleeding, purpling, and gagging face flashed in front of her eyes. A sour taste settled in her mouth, and hot rage continued to pulse through her limbs. She couldn't remember the last time she felt as though she was trapped in such a wicked tailspin.

She couldn't figure out which emotion she should settle on, and instead helplessly felt herself being yanked and tossed back and forth between burning hatred, disgust, self-loathing, unbridled horror, and a lot of nausea. Fortunately, regarding the latter, Emma had exactly zero food with her, so the persistent bouts of vomiting were downgraded to unpleasant dry heaves.

That was how her entire first night was spent in that little cabin, shivering, weak, and pain racing through every corner of her being. She tried pacing at one point, needing to work some of her aggression out of her bones, but when then blonde stood from the moldy cot she only made it a few steps before her weak legs gave out and she went smashing painfully onto the warped hardwood floor.

Emma screamed, and shrieked, and bellowed and shouted, not bothering to even form words. She just let any and all sound claw its way out of her throat until it was raw while she slammed her fists against the floor over and over and over again, until the outsides of her hands were thoroughly tenderized. The skin was hot and swollen, splitting open in a few places, but the sheriff didn't relent. She lay splayed, facedown on the planks, kicking and screaming like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

However, it wasn't long until her already-diminished reserves of energy were completely spent. She stilled her pulverized hands, resting her face on the ground, ignoring the sting racing through the scratches on her cheeks; she was simply too tired to give a damn, but not too tired to dissolve into a weeping lump where she lay.

The salt from her heavy tears did nothing to soothe the wounds they traced, but again, the pain she felt was of little concern to her right then. Thick, rattling sobs seized her limp form, and she choked on gobs of saliva and mucus so frequently that she threw up again.

It was truly a pitiful sight. The woman was lying, shivering in a puddle of tears, spit and bile, tendrils of her tangled hair sliding through it, blots of dried blood and cracked, fresh scabs streaked down her sallow, blotchy face. She drew breath in quick, uneven, shallow inhales, whimpering and moaning while stray tears leaked from the corners of her bloodshot eyes. Emma Swan was broken.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

She was sitting on the rickety porch, gazing out across the rippling water of the small lake that stretched out in front of her. It was raining lightly, and the smell of damp leaves and sodden soil, combined with the fact that the surface of the lake never looked the same somehow comforted her.

She remembered that she had a protein bar in her glove box, but the bug was parked pretty far from the cabin, and Emma did not have her cane. As loudly as her stomach growled, her hunger wasn't worth dragging her body through gravelly mud to get it. There was no power or heat, but there was an ancient pump-well behind the cabin, so she had water. Getting food would be a priority she'd address later.

Emma laid backwards against the porch, her boots hanging over the steps. Being on her back was the only position that didn't hurt, and she rested her purple fists against the cool, damp planks, letting out a low sigh of relief, despite the throbbing pain from the pressure on her bruised flesh.

She closed her tired eyes, listening to the steady patter of the raindrops smattering against the roof. She timed her breaths with her heartbeat. Two beats for every inhale, three for the exhales. Birds were chirping. _One...two. Pause. One...two...three._ Her feet felt cold. _One...two. Pause. One...two...three. Pause._ Something jumped in the water with a wet _plop_. _Two...three. Pause. One...two. Pause._ She could hear boots crunching against gravel. _Two. Pause. One...two...thr-_ Boots?!

Emma shot upright, grunting with pain. She quickly unholstered the pistol still strapped to her hip, her thumb hovering over the safety. She hauled her body upright, clinging onto one of the support beams for the porch awning. She kept her focus on the path that led from the front of the cabin around to the side and rear, where the car was parked.

She could distinctly hear the leisurely footfalls grinding in the dirt, heading down the path. Emma raised the gun, keeping it trained on the point where her uninvited guest would appear. It was barely ten seconds before the visitor rounded the corner, and despite knowing exactly who it was, Emma kept the gun raised.

"Ruby?! What the hell are you doing here?" she barked at the girl.

The brunette let out a shrill little scream, freezing in her spot. "Emma! Holy shit! DON'T SHOOT ME!"

" _What are you doing here!_ " Emma hissed, still not lowering her weapon.

"Looking for you, Em!"

"Are you here to try and bring me in? Or did Regina send you to track me down so she could do it herself? Gonna snitch my whereabouts to David so he can arrest me?! ANSWER ME," she bellowed at the cowed girl.

"Slow down, Em! No one knows I'm here!" Ruby held her hands up after dropping a duffel bag on the soggy ground. Emma faltered slightly; her lie detector didn't go off. If she wasn't here to try and bring her in... "Would you put the gun away? I'm not here to hurt you."

"S-sorry..." Emma tucked the pistol away, her face burning with hot shame.

"Here, let me help you." Ruby pulled out Emma's cane that was sticking out of the bag. She picked it up on her way over to the blonde, holding out the walking implement for her friend. It wasn't lost on the waitress how busted up the hand that grabbed the cane looked.

The sheriff looked at Ruby. She noticed how pale her usually blushed cheeks were, and Emma realized that she must look horrifying. She was covered with cuts, bruises, vomit, dried blood, her hair was a tangled mess, and she knew she probably looked like death warmed up.

The two entered the cabin, and Ruby plopped the duffel bag on the bed before whirling around to give Emma a hard, worried look. The blonde met the gaze with a sheepish expression, fidgeting with the handle of her cane, unsure where to start.

Ruby broke the silence by saying, "You look like a bag of shit, Em." A tiny smile played at her lips, letting the other woman know she wasn't going to bite her head off.

"If I knew I was gonna have guests I would have put flowers in my hair. My bad."

"Or maybe just shower?"

"Yeah, well, no running water, Rubes. There's a pump from the dark ages behind this place, but that water is _so_ cold!"

"About that... Sit down, Emma. We've got a lot of stuff we need to talk about."

Emma groaned loudly, but hobbled over to one of the spindly chairs at the table. "What is there to say? I fucked up. Big time. I know. But-"

Ruby held up her hand, effectively silencing her hostess. "First off, you tried to kill the mayor." Emma opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced again. "I don't know all the details, but I can put two and two together. Henry was freaking out when you went into your coma, saying that Regina poisoned you, but no one believed him.

"My guess is that you remembered that particular detail, yeah? I'm not exactly a tempered lady, and I can imagine freaking out over something like that. I can totally understand wanting to lash out against the person who did that to you. I _really_ do. Regina's had a good thrashing coming her way for a long time. In fact, I've heard some people grumbling in the diner about wishing that you'd properly finished the job.

"But there's a problem, Em. Several. First of all, did anyone tell you murder is bad? Don't give me that look! Secondly, way to do it in public. Last time I checked, you're supposed to murder someone in private. Again, don't give me that look, Em. Thirdly, why did you hit Mary Margaret? I know _you_ were freaking out, but she's been shaken enough as is after your little hoedown. But slapping her? A little dramatic, don't you think?

"Em, she's worried sick about you. David has an arrest warrant out for you. You're actually number one on Storybrooke's most wanted. Sidney did a very...colorful piece on that one. She's your best friend..." Ruby fixed her with a stare filled with so much heat that Emma couldn't maintain eye contact.

"The last thing I need to mention..." The brunette gently placed her fingertips on her friend's chin, pulling her face around so their gazes locked again. "Henry."

Emma pulled away, running her hands through her frazzled mane, sighing heavily. "What happened? And don't hold out on me."

"He's pissed. Like, _super_ pissed, Emma."

"At me?"

"No, he's pissed at Sister Astrid. Of course he's pissed at you! You're his hero, the person he looks up to. Emma, you're his mom."

"But-"

"No. No buts. You're his mother, _and_ you attacked his other mother. How do you think he feels? He's scared, protective and passionate."

"But it wasn't so long ago before my coma that he _hated_ Regina. He wanted nothing more than to be as far from her as possible!"

"Kids are fluid. And Henry loves Regina; he just needed something to remind him of that. You lost your cool with Regina...again. And, as usual, Henry got hurt in the process. Do you want that?"

"Of course I don't! How dare you suggest that I would want to cause my own son pain," she snapped.

"No," Ruby replied calmly. "But it always seems to happen when you two go at it. Those other times look like tickle fights compared to what went down yesterday."

Emma's head slumped down into her arms crossed on the table. "What do I do?" came the muffled question. She popped her head back up again. "Ruby, I'm so, _so_ confused. There's so much hate running through me! I wanna go back there, regardless of any arrest warrants and finish the job! I want to _end her!_ I don't want Henry to live with that monster!"

"At the rate you're going, Em... You're not far behind Regina. What will Henry think? What will he do if his hero turns into a villain? I don't think he wanted you to _murder_ Regina. Look," she said softly, placing a sympathetic hand on the sheriff's forearm. "You want my advice? Lay low for now. Stay here and let things cool down. Once they do, you can come back and deal with this shit storm, okay?"

"Uh, Rubes? Look around you. There's no power, no food, no anything."

"That's where I come in!" Ruby replied with a sly smile. Her eyes darted to the black duffel bag. "Room service!" she trilled. She unzipped the bag and started pulling out piles of clothes. "I visited Mary Margaret. While she was in the bathroom, I crammed a bunch of your clothes in here. I also grabbed you a box of tampons," she said pulling out said object.

"Ruby... This is..."

"Wait, I haven't pulled out the best thing yet!" She dug both of her hands into the bottom of the bag and yanked out two bottles of Jack Daniels. "Sobriety is overrated when everything's gone to shit! Am I right?" She turned to face her friend, brandishing the bottles over her head with a big smile on her face.

"Hear, hear. But I still can't survive on just whiskey, Rubes. Hide any pop tarts in there?"

"I'm not stupid, Em. I brought a bunch of non-perishables and a few cases of bottled water in my car. I also brought you a cheeseburger. I figured you could use one." When she looked at the blonde, she saw a pair of glassy, green eyes staring back at her.

"Ruby, I don't... I don't deserve _any_ of this. I'm..."

"You're damn right you don't. However, you're no good to us half-dead, and we won't be able to straighten this shit out. Healthy body, healthy mind right?"

"Then why are you giving me alcohol?" Emma asked wryly.

"'Cause you need it," she responded simply.

"How did you find me? My cell's been off, so you can't've traced it..."

"How did I find David? How did I find Regina? I just do. I followed my instincts."

"Find Regina?"

"You didn't hear about that?" Emma shook her head in the negative. "While you were in your coma, Regina wandered off in the middle of the night, sleepwalking or something. No one knew where she was. Henry had me track her down." Ruby explained the whole ordeal in detail to the blonde who listened intently. The waitress casually left out some of the more important details, like how it happened a second time, and how Henry insisted Regina be taped to Emma. Ruby didn't think she was ready to hear that.

"So that's why I saw Regina at physical therapy?"

"Mhm. Things were pretty fucked up when you-"

"Were nearly murdered?" she finished for the waitress.

"...Yeah. Also, I, uh... _know_ a guy who works at the power station, if you catch my drift. I talked him into turning the electric on at this place. No, I didn't mention you. So you should have power and running water by tonight."

After Ruby had brought the rest of the supplies into the cabin the two women sat out on the porch together, Emma devouring her cheeseburger and drinking whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Slow down on the Jack, killer. It's only, like, 2:30. I don't think you want to add to the puke that's already on the floor in there." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward the shack. "And in your hair," she mumbled as an afterthought.

"Had a rough night," the sheriff choked out around the burn in her throat.

"That excuse won't hold up for long, Emma."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Ruby's alarm on her phone went off. "Shit, I have to go. My shift's gonna start soon." She leaned over and planted a friendly kiss on the part of Emma's hair that didn't have dried blood and vomit in it. "Take some time to think, screw your head back on right. I'll be back in a few days, 'kay?"

"Thanks again, for _everything_ , Ruby." Emma said around another swig of liquor.

"Hang in there. It'll work out." The waitress hopped up and sauntered off to her car, leaving Emma on the porch. Rain was still falling gently, and she added the sloshing of whiskey to the soft cadence of the raindrops. _One...two. Pause. One...two...three. Pause._ Her head felt warm and fuzzy. _One...two...three. Pause._ Her hands ached. _...two. Pause. One...two...three. Pause._

_"Emma,"_ whispered a familiar, forgotten voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com


	24. What Henry Saw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry learns the truth about the attack on Regina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There are some references to graphic violence in this chapter. If you have trouble with that, please skip.
> 
> Sorry again for the wait. I know this chapter isn't my BEST, but please be warned that there are lots of feels in this chapter! Thank you again for the comments and likes! Also, thanks for putting me over 5,000 views! You're all the best! <3

_The day after the attack_

Henry's alarm beeped loudly, and he stretched, groaning from sleep. He reached over to the device and slapped his hand on the snooze button. That was what he did every morning. And in five minutes, the alarm would go off again. He would smack that snooze button a second time, burrowing deeper into his cocoon of blankets, willing it to be the weekend instead. His alarm would go off for a third time, and for the third time he would grunt, slap the snooze and roll over. Regina would then knock on the door, calling through it to tell him if he ignores his alarm one more time she will bring in a bucket of cold water. Henry made the mistake of ignoring that threat once and only once.

_He was feeling particularly tired and grumpy one morning when he was eight. Regina made her threat, but he simply did not want to get out of bed. His clock started beeping, and his hand promptly fell onto the snooze with a heavy slap. He snuggled back into his pillow, considering faking sick just so he could stay home._

_Regina was more than aware of what Henry did, and she padded into the kitchen, pulling out a pitcher from one of the cupboards. She filled it with ice-cold water, sipping at her coffee while she waited. Once it was full, she scooped it up, tiptoeing to her son's room. After years of playing Tooth Fairy, she got pretty good at sneaking into his room without being heard._

_She looked down at her sleeping boy, feeling a little guilty about what she was going to do, but Henry had to know that she didn't make empty threats. If he realized that, if she let the punishments she brandished slide, he would know that she wasn't serious. With that knowledge, he could manipulate her. Regina was his parent, and that meant acting like it._

_She held the pitcher up over his head, and some of the water dribbled onto his face. Henry's eyes snapped open comically. He looked up with horror, and sprung up from the sheets._

_"Mom! No! I'm up! Please don't splash me," he whined, putting on his best puppy face._

_"I warned you," she said with a playful smile. She threw about half of the water at him, and it splashed all down his face and pjs._

_"MOM! IT'S SO COLD! GIMME THAT!" He snatched the vessel from her grip, holding it out in front of him like a bomb, scampering from the room with a victorious giggle. "Gotta come and catch me!" he taunted in a sing-song voice._

_"I'm coming to get you!" She tore off after her little boy, robe whipping around the corner she rounded. Regina heard him thumping down the steps on his bare feet, and when she looked over the banister, she saw him skittering off toward the kitchen. He still held the pitcher directly out in front of his body, his arms locked straight. She chuckled, half-expecting to see the boy clunk headfirst into a wall or something._

_She snuck down to the kitchen, and she could hear him giggling from somewhere in the room. "Henry, I know you're here! I'm going to get you!" she called to him._

_"I hope so! I've got a surprise for you, Mommy!" came the giggling response._

_Regina continued to creep around the area, spying the pitcher abandoned on the floor. "What's my surprise? Going to splash me? Or is the tickle monster back in town?"_

_"Better! But you gotta find me first!"_

_"It would be easier if you came out and showed me, Henry!"_

_"Where's the fun in that?"_

_The brunette snuck around the island counter in the kitchen, and when she peeked her face around, she saw Henry for a split second before she threw her hands up in front of her. He smiled a big grin, showing a couple of missing teeth, before emptying the contents of the juice carafe at her face._

_Regina was sticky and soaked with orange juice, and Henry was positively rolling on the floor with howling laughter. "Oh, you're going to get it now! The tickle monster is_ definitely _back, and I'm it!" She dove down after him, attacking his sides, underarms and feet._

_Her son was panting in her arms, both of their bellies and cheeks hurting with laughter. She placed a little kiss on the crown of his damp head. "I love you, Henry. But, if you ever throw juice at me again, you'll be grounded for a month. Understand?"_

_"But it was funny, Mom! Okay, I won't," he said after the stern look he got. "Can I do it on my birthday?"_

_"I don't think so, dear."_

_"How about on_ your _birthday?" he tried again._

_"Certainly not."_

_"On... Halloween?"_

_Regina's eyebrows drew together in a look that could only be described as trying to determine the level of her son's sanity. "No juice throwing on any holiday. Now, go wash up and get changed or you'll be late for school._ I _have to go shower now, because I am covered in juice. Make sure you eat breakfast once you're changed!"_

Henry almost fell into his usual morning routine after hitting the snooze button, but the events of the previous day came crashing into the forefront of his mind. He shot up from his bed, ripping back the covers and scrambling to his dresser. He paused for a second to listen closely to the sounds of the house.

He couldn't hear much, but the scent of coffee mingling with the smell of frying eggs certainly pervaded his senses. So his mom was definitely awake _and_ cooking. Those were completely normal. Maybe he dreamed all of yesterday? No, that wasn't possible. Perhaps Regina was just playing up whatever it was that happened to try and protect him? And if so, maybe she was mostly better today?

Henry shook his head. The only way to find out would be to go and see for himself. Like any young boy, he rammed his body into his clothes that he barely paid any notice to when choosing them in about thirty seconds. He completely skipped the bathroom and bounded down the stairs in a blur, skidding into the kitchen on socked feet.

He wish he had prepared himself in case the state of his mother was as bad as she made it out to be. If he had, he would have told himself not to stare, to show concern but still try to act normal. However, even if he _had_ tried to prepare himself for whatever it was his mom was afraid of revealing, it probably wouldn't have done much good anyway. No matter how bad Henry thought it might have been, the sight that reached his eyes was infinitely worse.

Regina stood at the stove, scrambling eggs. Her hair was limp, slightly frizzy and it was held back from her left temple with some bobby pins. Henry could just make out through the matted hairs at the exposed temple a gnarled, dark scab with a purple bruise haloing it. If he looked a little closer, he would have seen the crusty flakes of dried blood surrounding the wound. His mother was also sporting a graphite-gray turtleneck, with the neck pulled completely up to the base of her jaw, and an accompanying scarf wrapped around that.

His wide eyes tracked across her face. The first thing he noticed was just how heavily she had caked on her makeup. But underneath it... The skin above her left cheekbone was badly swollen, and it looked as though someone had inserted a large marble there. Even with all the concealer in the world, Henry could still see the dark shades of a mottled, blotchy bruise there. Similarly, her lip was inflamed, loudly pronouncing the split that was poorly disguised by the crimson lipstick smeared on top of it.

Henry was remarkably astute for a boy his age - something he clearly learned from his many years with Regina - and it did not escape his notice just how stiffly his mother moved. She didn't really turn at the middle in any way, opting to rotate from her hips and legs rather than from her torso as she normally would. She refrained from moving her head too much, and if she did, Henry definitely saw the winces that could only be associated with pain. That last element of the formidable woman's dilapidated condition was what disturbed the boy the most.

The only time when he could clearly remember Regina being in any discernable pain was when Mr Gold had set the fire at City Hall, and her ankle got hurt in the explosion. Any other pain she had experienced, she simply swallowed and acted as though nothing hurt her ever. The fact that he could see her in more than a little physical discomfort downright unsettled him.

"Good morning, Henry," she said softly, but he heard the hoarseness in her voice. He continued to gape, unmoving, and the woman certainly didn't fail to notice all of the color leave his face. She was glad that her unnaturally thick layer of makeup made it impossible for him to discern the blush spreading across her cheeks from being under his blatant scrutiny.

"Mom...?" he said weakly.

"Breakfast won't be ready for a few minutes. Go brush your hair, okay?" she husked, not meeting his shocked gaze. She stirred the eggs around the pan, her right eye twitching slightly in another failed attempt to mask her pain.

"What... What happened?" he asked, ignoring her request for him to go clean up. "Who-"

"Henry... _please,_ " Regina said while squeezing her eyes shut, her brow knitting together. He was suddenly struck by the notion that she was probably fighting back tears. His mother was most likely choking back the urge to stay hidden, and conceal herself from his prying eyes. He realized that she put on all of that makeup to try and make her appearance less disturbing for him, just so she could make sure he got ready properly for school. Just so she could be his mother.

He snapped his mouth shut, nodding wordlessly, turning to go to the bathroom where he would brush his teeth and hair. The moment he left the kitchen, Regina let out a long, shaky breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. She had not been expecting Henry to deviate from his normal morning routine, and his sudden appearance jarred her.

She was going to use the time he usually took delaying getting out of bed and sleepily putting himself together to rally her courage. Waking up was hard enough; every part of her body seemed to be in varying states of moderate to severe pain. But telling herself that she was going to allow the person who mattered to her most see her in this weakened state was almost impossible.

Earlier that morning, the brunette attempted to leave her bedroom, her hand trembling against the doorknob, when she felt her resolve fail her. She stumbled backwards, turning and collapsing into a ball of pain on her unmade bed. A squashy lump under her shoulder got her attention, and she extricated the worn, stuffed lion Henry left for her the night before.

Stuffles stared placidly up at her, and she felt a gentle wave of calmness wash over her. A feeble laugh escaped her throat at the fact that her, Regina Mills, Evil Queen, Mayor of Storybrooke, was taking comfort in a child's toy. She absentmindedly smoothed out his mane, gazing at the little lion that seemed to ease her tense heart. Henry said that Stuffles would protect her, and the little lion _had_ granted her a small amount of peace during the night. Stuffles was brave for her; now it was time to be brave for Henry. She kissed the toy on his face and got up to be the lioness for her cub.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry walked his usual route to Granny's as he always did before school, but hot chocolate was not on his mind that morning. He kept his clammy hands rammed deep into the pockets of his coat to keep them from trembling, but not from the cold. The image of his mother's mangled face burned behind his eyes every time he blinked, and it made his stomach writhe uncomfortably.

He was half-running, wanting to get to the diner with as many minutes to spare as possible, not caring about the way the cold morning air bit his face and ears. The boy hardly even noticed any of the other townsfolk he passed, not bothering to respond to Archie's chipper greeting as he was taking Pongo for his morning stroll.

Henry barreled through the diner's door, causing the little bell overhead to chime a little more aggressively than usual. He made a beeline for the brunette waitress, who was sliding his preferred beverage onto the counter already, smiling at his arrival. However, that smile quickly faltered when she actually took in his appearance.

Underneath the bright red flush that painted his cheeks from the cold and brisk pace, his skin was pale. The boy's eyes weren't sparkling with mischief and mirth as they normally did. Quite frankly, he looked haunted, and she had a pretty good guess as to why he looked more than a little out of sorts.

"Hey, Henry!" she greeted warmly, as though noticing nothing unusual or different. She stretched her mouth wide in her patented charming grin.

"Morning," came his unsure response, and he bit his bottom lip, looking for all the world like he was trying to figure out how to phrase a particularly delicate question.

"Got your hot chocolate right here. I only just finished it when you walked in. I wasn't expecting you for another five minutes. You're earlier than normal, kiddo." Ruby hoped that a little natural small talk would help ease the tension and doubt radiating off of him while he palmed the hot mug, not drinking it. "So what's the occasion that's got you out of bed early? And don't say you aren't; I know that five minutes makes _all_ the difference at your age." She crossed her arms on the worn counter, leaning over to bring herself closer to his level.

He glanced up to her, his brow furrowed deeply, still worrying his bottom lip. His gaze fell back to his drink, as though willing to see the answers of the universe in the melting whipped cream. "Ruby...?" He said her name so softly that she wasn't sure she actually heard anything at all over the quiet clatter of the diner.

"Yeah?" The brunette leaned closer, anxious not to miss a word.

"What... What happened?" He locked eyes with her, and she swallowed uncomfortably.

"You're going to have to be more specific. Lots of things happen around here," she lied, knowing that Storybrooke was about as exciting as a slug race.

"Yesterday," he said bluntly.

"Yesterday? Well, Granny's burn isn't as bad as she thought it was, and now it's just a blister. She'll be just fine," Ruby stated, still trying to avoid the topic she knew he was needling at.

"C'mon, Ruby. You know that's not what I'm talking about!"

"Henry..."

"Please?" He fixed her with the most imploring look he could muster, and the waitress shifted uncomfortably.

"Listen, Henry. I'm not sure I'm the one you should be asking about this, and I'm _really_ sure I'm not the one to tell you."

"Yeah, but Mom won't tell me. She doesn't think I should know. Not yet, anyway..." he grumbled.

"Have you ever thought that maybe your mom's right about that? It's not...pleasant. And I know you're older than your years, but this is a complicated situation, and I don't even know all the details."

"That's only half-true. You hear everything, Ruby! I know Mom has her reasons, but you didn't see her this morning..." That line caught the woman's attention. "It was..." Henry swallowed, his face turning a delicate shade of green. "After seeing the way Mom was this morning, how can I go on without knowing? Besides, I trust you to tell me the truth of what you heard. We were in this together for Operation Brush. Don't leave me hanging now."

Ruby's head fell forward, her curtains of long, chestnut hair fell forward, hiding her face. She blew out a long sigh, slumping a little in defeat. "Okay, Kiddo. You win, but don't say I didn't warn you. Ready?"

"I can handle it," he said defiantly, wanting to prove himself. It brought a small, sad smile to her lips.

"Your mom was attacked."

"I figured that much out, Ruby."

"By Emma," she finished.

"What?" he said, pulling his head back in confusion.

"I'm not kidding. Apparently she barged into Regina's office late yesterday morning. She was screaming and yelling. The mayor's secretary told me that Emma came up, completely unannounced, looking like she had swallowed the Devil's fury. She practically kicked in the doors, and came at Regina. That's when Amber had to call David. Apparently Emma was screaming something about you.

"I heard that she roughed Regina up pretty badly before she tried to..." Ruby faltered, not sure how to say what happened next.

"...What happened, Ruby?" Henry's voice was shaking, but there was a hard look in his eyes.

"Sure you want to hear the rest?"

"I...I have to know."

"David came in with some of the volunteer emergency squad. He told me that he saw..."

"Go on," he urged quietly.

"David said that Emma had your mom up against the wall, and she was... Emma was choking her. He said she was trying to kill Regina with her bare hands, and didn't even let go when he came in. Pretty sure he was scared shitless and didn't know what to do."

"Emma tried...to _kill_ Mom?" The words fell out of the boy's mouth with more disbelief than your technologically-challenged grandmother trying Facebook for the first time. "Are you... Are you sure?"

"Positive. And then she took off, and no one's seen her since. Mary Margaret's an emotional wreck. She saw Emma leave the house with her gun. She was the first to call David."

"Really? Why is she so upset?"

"Really, Henry? She saw Emma leaving in a murderous rampage...oops," she said, cringing at her choice of words.

"But, that can't be all. Ms Blanchard is stronger than she looks." Ruby shifted a little. "You're not telling me something," he stated, eyes narrowing. "You promised!"

"I did... Mary Margaret was with Emma when she got her memory back."

The blood drained from Henry's face, and he understood everything that that statement implied. "Oh no..." Something started to smolder under Henry's eyes, his expression hardening further.

"Yeah, and Emma flipped on her too. Called her some nasty things and then slapped her. So she's pretty shaken from that. And David was in here at the ass-crack, sorry, of dawn. He's got a buttload of paperwork to do. And there's an arrest-" But she didn't finish her sentence. Henry had taken off at full-tilt, leaving only the tinkling of the bell and the scuff of his sneakers in his wake.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina was sitting on one of the lounges in her study, a tumbler of cider already in her hand, despite the fact that it was only 8:15 am. Her eyes were closed, and the glass shook when she brought it up to her lips. She made the mistake of not channeling the liquor carefully in her mouth, and hissed in pain when the gash on the inside of her cheek raced white-hot.

The smooth burn of the alcohol reminded the mayor that she was in the present, and it distracted her mind from convincing her that the tendrils of soreness in her neck weren't Emma's fingers actually grasping her throat, trying to wring the life from her body. Her free hand involuntarily shot up to the collar of her turtleneck, unconsciously checking that the soft fabric was the only thing wrapped around her neck.

Once Henry had left for school, she found herself painfully lacking in distractions. She knew there was no way she'd be going to work in her state, and her concentration was too flighty for books or puzzles. She was already exhausted, and every bone in her body ached, along with everything else. As far as she was concerned, Regina Mills was already done for the day. She didn't even have enough energy to be irritated about that.

So when the front door clicked shut behind her son, she raced to it, locking it. The last thing she needed was Emma bursting through the door to finish what she started the previous day. Once the front door was locked, Regina systematically moved throughout the mansion, locking every door and window in the house, ensuring that the only way her attacker could enter was by force.

She found herself standing in the foyer, hands empty, body groaning, and her mind was busy supplying her with fresh images of Emma Swan's blazing eyes, and the sensation of her own fingers scratching fruitlessly at the blonde for freedom. Her empty stomach churned, and tears threatened to smear her carefully-applied mask. She absentmindedly tugged the edges of her turtleneck farther up. She remembered a flash of the leather-clad sheriff whirling around, slamming an apple against her temple, and Regina recalled the way little white lights popped up across her vision, and the feeling of hot liquid spilling down the side of her face.

The brunette failed to choke back a sob, and when her mouth pulled back let out a watery, rattling gasp, the cut on her lip split open, and she felt a heavy drop of blood slide out of it. The angry sting of cleaving flesh didn't even register in her brain, and her hand sloppily smeared the dribble away.

She felt her feet moving underneath her, and she had no idea where she was being led, but she could remember the way her feet kicked and thrashed when Emma had slammed her body against the wall. She remembered the way her heels flew off in the struggle, and her bare toes knocking against the blonde's shins did little damage.

She was vaguely aware of the gentle clinking of glass, and a powerful, sweet odor slammed into her senses, shortly followed by the molten tartness of her own cider flooding her mouth. Her bloodshot eyes suddenly focused on the change in scenery. The mayor wasn't in the foyer anymore. She was standing in her study, clutching a tumbler with a white-knuckled grip.

She was not at City Hall. She was not at her office. Emma Swan was not screaming at her. Emma Swan was not charging at her. Emma Swan was not beating Regina Mills senseless, nor was she strangling her to death. Her hand shot up to her neck. No fingers trying to collapse her trachea. She took another large swallow, savoring the welcomed burn, ignoring the sting in her lip, or the way it left a smear of blood on the edge of the glass.

She moved to the lounge closest to her, sinking into it, groaning loudly at the ache spreading from her torso when she bent to sit. She didn't really want to know why her brain assumed that alcohol was what she needed to escape the waking nightmare she trapped herself in, nor did she want to know why the alcohol was actually helping, instead, accepting it without a fight. She had no energy to do so.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry slammed through the front door of the mansion at 8:21am, after haphazardly ramming his key into the lock and turning it with such haste that it could have broken. He could hardly breathe from having run as fast as his legs could carry him from Granny's to Mifflin Street, but he didn't stop to catch his breath when he got inside. He dropped his backpack, flung his coat off, yelling for his mother.

He heard the muffled calls from in Regina's study, a room he didn't frequent very often. However, that morning was not a time for hesitancies and old habits. He pounded his way to the study, finding the door ajar and a very confused Regina Mills standing next to the coffee table.

He lunged forward, slamming his body into her torso, pulling her into a rib-cracking hug. "I'm here, Mom," he half-shouted into her middle.

"OW! Henry, let go! That hurts!" He pulled away and saw her wrap her arms around her middle, taking labored breaths.

"Did she hurt your stomach too?" He wanted to touch her, but he wasn't sure if he should at that moment.

"Henry," she said between lessening gasps. "Why are you here? Why aren't you in school?" He immediately picked up on the deflection.

"School's not important right now. Did she hurt your stomach?" he echoed.

"How...?" She left the question hanging, gazing at her son with a pained expression.

"I know you wanted to protect me, Mom. And I know why, but I couldn't see you like...y'know, and not know how it happened. Ruby told me. Is it true? Did Emma attack you?"

Regina's hand flew up to her throat again at the mention of the blonde, and she swallowed painfully, sinking down onto the lounge, patting the space next to it. "Sit down, Henry."

"Hang on a sec." He bolted from the room and returned several moments later with a damp cloth. He stood right in front of her, his face crumpled with sorrow and...something else. "You've got some..." He reached his free hand out and placed his fingers delicately under her chin, tilting her head up slightly.

Regina wasn't sure how to react. Henry had never tried to take care of her before, at least not in any earnest way. It meant that she was tempted to gently pull his hand away, and clean herself up. It was what she always had to do. No one was ever in her corner to take care of her before, and the act was somewhat unsettling. But what if Henry never did anything like this again? No, she was going to fight the urges squiggling around in her stomach and let her son give her cure.

Henry kept his eyes focused firmly on the lower half of his mother's face, so he wasn't aware of the way she watched his face intently, memorizing the moment for herself. He dabbed gently at the bottom of her chin, working his way up to her swollen lip. His ministrations were soft, as though he was afraid he would break her. Surprisingly, a smile broke out across his face when he finished.

"There," he murmured with his boyish grin. "Now you're beautiful again."

A crooked smile lit up part of Regina's face, but it vanished shortly after Henry's disintegrated into that strange sad expression again. He settled himself next to his mother, peering unblinkingly up at her. "I suppose you're waiting for the answer to your question," she croaked out.

"I have to know, Mom." He placed a warm hand on top of her trembling fingers that were laced tightly together in her lap.

Regina let out a weary sigh, but held her son's gaze, determined to show him the trust and respect he not only wanted, but needed. "Emma...did."

"Because she remembered..."

"That would be my guess, yes." She was surprised by his calmness, and it somehow made it easier for her to discuss this with him.

"And she doesn't know..."

"Know what, dear?"

"That...that you didn't mean it. Or, you regretted it. She doesn't know that your kiss woke her up..."

"I'm starting to regret it now," Regina muttered with a flare of her old self.

"Why would she hurt you? No, she didn't _just_ hurt you! She tried to kill you! And you're not just anyone; you're _my mom!_ " he said hotly, and Regina finally recognized the look accompanying his sorrow. It was one she had seen lurking in her own eyes many times before, and seeing it in her son's frightened her. She saw raw anger.

"I don't care what you did to her! She doesn't get to do that! She doesn't get to hurt you! She doesn't get to lay another finger on you! She doesn't even get to look at you! I don't know where she is, but I don't want to see her!" His little fists were balled up, and he had a glare so intense that it would have made the Evil Queen proud.

Yet, that last line jarred Regina. There was a time not so long ago when he wouldn't have cared a bit what happened to her. He wouldn't lift a finger to help Regina if she got hurt, or assaulted. There was a time when he never would have said a word against his saintly birthmother, let alone basically condemn their relationship. How the tables have turned.

"Henry-"

"Don't, Mom. I know what I'm saying! Don't try and defend her. 'Cause I'm not gonna. She doesn't deserve it."

Regina gave a dry laugh. "I was in no way going to defend that woman. You're absolutely right in that she doesn't deserve an ounce of kindness right now."

"Mom?" He stared hard into her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to let anyone hurt you like that again. If Emma comes back, she's going to have to get through me first."

Regina leaned over, nuzzling her chin against the top of his head, holding him close. She felt small arms wrap around her again, but much more gently that time. "Thank you," she murmured into his hair.

"I love you, Mom," he whispered quietly into her chest.

"I love you too... My little prince."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As awlways, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com and you can find my gorgeous Beta, Jasmine, at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	25. Enough for Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry continues to prove his love and loyalty to Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This chapter is also filled with SO MANY FEELS! Just a heads up! Also, I've had enough inquiries as to the outcome of this story, and I want you to know that there is a happy ending in store for our ladies! I PROMISE! It's just going to take a while. And wow, the response to my last chapter was great! I love all of you, and I'm sorry for making your amazing hearts bleed! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Regina spent part of the morning with Henry, neither saying much to the other. They just sat close up against each other on the lounge in her study. He tucked his head on a part of her shoulder that didn't hurt, while she kept her arm curled around him, slowly stroking his messy locks. The brunette didn't dare utter more than two words, afraid of ruining this precious moment with her son. It had been far too long since Henry allowed any sort of affection on this level to pass between them.

 _This might be the only good thing to come of that garish woman's assault,_ Regina thought bitterly to herself. _I've got my son back...for now._ She went to turn her head to place a soft kiss in the boy's hair, but she whipped it back into place, hissing in pain as the tender bruises flared with fresh aches.

"Mom? You okay?" Henry turned to face her, his brow knit in concern.

"I just moved the wrong way, Henry. I'll be okay." A pained smile tugged at her face, and it did no one any favors.

Henry pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes shifting from her own to her shirt. "Can...can you show me?" he mumbled quietly, averting his gaze again.

A weary sigh slipped from her lips. "Henry... I-I can't."

"You don't have to protect me from everything, Mom," he said warmly, taking one of her hands into his own. He could feel the way her fingers trembled, and the sweat on her palm. "I know what she did to you, but... I need to see it."

"Can't knowing just be enough for today, dear?" Regina's voice cracked slightly, and she mentally winced at the desperation bleeding through her words. She hated herself further for the tears that stung her already puffy eyes.

Henry immediately saw the deterioration his prying had caused, and was quick to regret asking. "Yeah, Mom. It's enough for me. Promise." He used the cuff of his sweater to dab away a fallen tear with feather-light presses. "Mom?" he questioned again.

"Yes, dear?" she brought her gaze to his face, and noticed that he was once again chewing on his lip. His eyes were darting from her face to the abandoned glass of cider on the coffee table in front of them.

"Did you leave that out overnight," he probed carefully, pointing to the glass.

Regina knew there was no point in beating around the bush with him, and a fresh wave of shame mingled with the snarled ball of cantankerous misery that was already wreaking havoc on her frayed state of mind. "No, Henry. I did not leave that out overnight. I was drinking it before you came back home." She didn't look him in the eye.

The boy leaned his head back against his mother. "Mom, that's not good." His bluntness brought the tiniest of smiles to her face.

"I know. I just... It's complicated, and the alcohol was the only thing that made sense. It kept me here, and not back in my office with..." Regina shuddered, her left hand tracing the edges of the collar on her turtleneck again. "It helped me feel more in control." she finished shortly.

"I thought that stuff made people _lose_ control," he questioned quietly.

"I'm not sure how much of what I'm about to say will make sense to you, but I'm going to tell you anyway." She squeezed his hand firmly. "The cider...it burns. Kind of like how mouthwash burns, you know?" Henry nodded against her chest. He was listening to the frantic hammering of her heart, feeling the vibrations of her words against his face. It soothed him.

"Well, that burn, that...pain, was something I chose to endure. It's something I willingly consumed. What Emma did-"

"Was against your will," he murmured sadly.

"Yes. Very much so." She pressed him a little closer to her, resuming her gentle strokes across his hair, both content to remain silent for the time being. However, their companionable stillness was abruptly punctured by the shrill melody - if you could call it that - of Regina's cell phone, the grating noise blasting from her pocket.

Henry wordlessly scooted away, giving the brunette room to slip the device out, and when her eyes fell on the screen, she let out a terrified yelp, dropping the phone, almost flinging it, as though it had stung her suddenly. Her son sprung to his feet in alarm.

Regina had violently scrambled backwards so fast that she was practically perched on the back of the lounge, her hands clasped white-knuckled over her mouth, thick sobs pouring out between the digits, streams of hot tears plummeting from her eyes. He made to reach for her, but she shook her head no, still half on the back of the lounge. Henry had the nasty feeling that his mother was suppressing the urge to vomit _really_ hard.

Unable to do anything for the brunette, he scooped up the cell, and his eyebrows shot straight into his hairline at the name on the caller ID: _Sheriff Swan_. What was Emma doing, calling Regina? Hot anger boiled in his chest immediately, stealing a glance at the woman he hardly knew in the room with him. Emma had no right to speak to his mother, and he'd give her one hell of an earful if she even dared utter Regina's name. He swallowed thickly, steeling his resolve before answering the phone.

"Hello?" His greeting was hard, and contained zero warmth.

"Henry?" The boy's jaw just about hit the floor.

"Mr Nolan?" His mouth continued to gape, and he heard a confused burble from the direction of his mother.

"I thought this was Mayor Mills' phone?" David's voice was politely perplexed.

"It is." Henry's mind was whirling with a million things, and speech seemed to be on the low end of the list.

"Can I speak to her, kiddo?"

"I'm not so sure you can. Mom's..." He paused, unsure as to how to politely tell the sheriff that Regina was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack. "She's... She's...busy," he finished lamely and entirely unconvincingly.

David, fortunately, was smart enough to know not to press the issue any further. The situation in Storybrooke was messed up enough already, especially regarding one Mayor Mills. He had no desire to do any more damage than was already done. He had an uncomfortable task ahead of him, and forcing it at the wrong time would only hurt Regina more. "I understand. Henry, can you tell your mom that I need her to phone me back at the sheriff's station at her earliest convenience? It's rather urgent."

"No problem, Mr Nolan." That was definitely a task he could handle, and the tight knot in his chest eased an infinitesimal amount.

"Oh, and Henry? Take care of your mom, okay? You're the man of the house, and she needs you now more than ever." David said the words tenderly, warmly, even though he had no idea what prompted his sudden outpouring of paternal advice.

"I'm all over that," Henry replied confidently, though he couldn't fight the slight waver in his voice. "Have a good day, Mr Nolan." With that, he hung up the phone, set it down, and moved to where Regina had sunk back into the lounge.

Her knees were pulled up to her chest, even though it caused her a fair amount of pain, and soft, watery sobs seeped out of her mouth, punctuated by the occasional hiccup. She was staring almost straight ahead of her, but Henry could tell that she wasn't really seeing. She wasn't _there_. And then he understood all of what she said earlier about being kept in the present. An idea struck him, and without a word, he dashed away upstairs, leaving Regina in a blubbering mess on the lounge.

He came back down barely a minute later, clutching something in his fists. He moved slowly back to his mother, as if approaching a wild, wounded animal. He stood facing her, and without a word, tucked the object he was holding into the space between Regina's knees and her chest.

Almost instinctively, like a child grasping for its safety blanket, his mother latched onto Stuffles, crushing him against her chest. Her eyes were pressed shut, and she buried her nose into the little lion's worn mane, inhaling his unique scent of toy and her own son. Tears leaked into his fur, and he absorbed them, quietly, calmly telling her it was time to come back.

"Mom..." Henry's voice came quietly, tenderly. She looked up, glassy, puffy brown eyes locking onto his, and he knew that she was seeing him. She was right there, right where she belonged. He gave her the tiniest of smiles, the reassurance radiating from his face, and he felt awfully proud of his mother in that moment.

"H-how did you know?" she croaked, never taking her eyes off of her son, her fingers gently stroking Stuffles' mane.

Henry knelt down in front of her, fixing her with the most serious and earnest look, setting his little hand on her bicep. "Stuffles will _always_ protect you," he said with profound conviction. "He's never let me down before, Mom. He'll never leave you either. So long as you let him, Stuffles will keep you safe, and he will keep you _right here_."

Regina felt fresh tears in her eyes, but they were not born of panic and terror. They were tears of overwhelming love for the young man she was unbelievably proud to call her son. She unfurled her left arm, wringing it around his back, pulling him into a hug filled with tenderness, love, fear, and the kind of warmth that can only be passed between mother and son.

"Why was Emma's name on your phone when it was Mr Nolan calling?" His question was gentle, and held no obligation for the brunette to answer if she didn't feel able to.

Regina tensed momentarily, swallowing loudly. "Ms Swan's name was there because she was the sheriff. That number was from the station, and not her personal number. Things were so..."

"Messed up?" Henry supplied.

"Mhm. Things were so messed up and out of order, that when Mr Nolan took up the badge, I simply forgot to change the contact name in my phone." Regina let out a shaky sigh. "The same thing happened after Graham... It was his name I saw for weeks after Ms Swan had taken up his post. However, I believe I hesitated on changing his name for different reasons."

"Because it made it real?"

"Because it made it real," she echoed back.

"Does changing Emma's name make it real for you?"

Regina stayed quiet for a long moment. Her hand tightened around the little lion, and she uttered a single word so softly, Henry wasn't sure she had spoken at first, "Yes."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry went back to school once he made sure his mother was okay, and sufficiently calmed down. He made her promise to keep away from all of her liquor, and poured the remainder of the cider that she didn't finish down the drain. He said goodbye with a lingering hug before leaving the house.

Regina was quick to lock the door behind him, and while she called the school to notify them of her son's late arrival, she went through every room in the mansion again, checking all of the locks and doors. She found herself standing in the foyer once more, and as soon as she stopped to harness her thoughts, she realized that she was still holding onto the soft form of a stuffed lion.

She held him up, peering into his gently-worn face, the unmarred half of her mouth quirking into a small, affectionate smile. "Can I do this, Stuffles?" He held her watery gaze. She took out her phone and pressed the speed dial for the sheriff's station, hearing it ring a couple of times before David answered the call.

"Sheriff Nolan, is there an emergency?" he enquired politely.

"It's Regina," she said shortly.

"Regina! G-good! I was hoping to hear from you soon." She could practically see the mild man squirming in Em-the _sheriff's_ chair.

"Sheriff Nolan, please drop the pleasantries. What did you need?"

He coughed uncomfortably. "Right. Listen, I'm going to need you to come down here so I can take a statement-"

"NO!" she shrieked, her whole posture going rigid, white-knuckling Stuffles and the phone. "No... Mr Nolan, I can't."

"Regina, this is necessary to the investigation-"

"No, David. Please, for the love of God don't make me go there," she pleaded, the smallest of whimpers snaking up from her throat. "I can't! I can't see... I am in _so. Much. Pain._ "

"O-okay. Hang on a sec. You don't have to come to the station! You're under no obligation to do so."

"Then-"

"But I can't let this slide. Not for long, Regina." Neither seemed to care anymore that they had gone from their professional titles to first names. "I need a statement. If... If it would be better for you, I can come to your house. Wherever you're most comfortable. Hell, if you need to do this at Granny's or something, we can."

"You...you can't see me. Not like this. Not ever."

"Regina," he said softly into the phone. "I was _there_. I saw that atrocity myself. I promise you, I am not doing this to judge you, or to gossip. I am trying to do my job. The more information I have, and the sooner I can process the paperwork, the sooner I can catch her. That's all. I have no ulterior motives. I want to _help_ you."

Regina could not deny that there was always something calming about his presence. His voice was gentle, warm, and no matter how deeply it sickened her, she knew he had a good and tender heart. Her hand unconsciously brought Stuffles up to her chest, and she rested her chin on top of his head.

"Regina?" David's voice jarred her for a second.

"Yes. Yes, you can come over, but there are conditions."

"Anything to make this easier." She could hear the calm, reassuring smile in his voice, and see the way the corners of his soft, blue eyes crinkled kindly.

"Firstly," she stated, assuming as business-like a tone as she could muster. "You cannot come here until nightfall. I need...time."

"Done," he agreed easily.

"Secondly, you are not to use... _her_ name."

"I will do my best." She could hear a pen scratching in the background.

"Thirdly, if I ask you to stop, you will comply immediately. You will not ask if I am okay, nor will you try to comfort me in any way unless indicated by myself."

"Absolutely. Not a problem for me at all."

"Thank you," she whispered quietly.

"Just doing my job, Regina. What time would you like me to come over?"

"Can you arrive at 9pm sharp?"

"I'll be there. Thank you for agreeing. I know this is..."

"Save it," she said in clipped tones. Without warning, Regina hung up on the conversation, feeling significantly drained from that small amount of interaction alone. It was going to be a very, _very_ long day.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Henry came home from school after a tediously-long day. The minutes couldn't have crept by any slower, even if they tried. He hardly heard a word anyone spoke to him, instead anxiously awaiting the moment he could leave and see his mother. What David said to him that morning stuck in his brain.

It never occurred to him in his short life that he should take care of Regina. He reasoned that it was because his mother was always so well put together, that she never gave off any air of needing help. She never got sick, she never got hurt, she never cried. She always took such good care of herself, that the only caretaking going on was her attending to his needs.

When she started showing signs of losing herself was when Emma rolled into town. That was when Henry couldn't even give a damn about her feelings, and, as such, felt no need to help the Evil Queen in the slightest. A wave of guilt washed over him when he realized that.

After leaving school, he expected himself to come crashing into the house, find his mother and give her another hug, but when he reached for the doorknob after sliding his key in the lock, he hesitated. Not because her was afraid, or doubtful, but because the boy remembered just how closely she walked the edge of the cliff. She wobbled and toppled at the slightest gust, and he was about to come whirling in like a hurricane.

He wrapped his fingers around the knob, letting himself in quietly. He dropped his backpack, shucking his coat on top of it and called out for Regina. He only heard the tight echo of his shout throughout the rooms. He frowned, moving to check the study first on the off chance that she might have simply remained there for the duration of the day. The room was empty, and he glanced at the decanter of cider at the mini bar. Earlier that day, they placed a piece of tape along the line of liquid to mark where it was so that Regina would be reminded of her promise not to drink. The tape still matched up with the level of liquor. A small smile quirked his features for a moment.

He checked the kitchen next, only to find it equally empty. The same went for the living room, laundry room, back yard, and his own room. He went to the master bedroom next. The sheets were all higgledy-piggledy, but Regina was not in them. He gazed around the space, and his eyes found the slumped form of his mother in front of the vanity. A shot of panic rocketed through him.

He rushed over to her, but refrained from touching her. She was sitting in the chair, her arms sloppily-folded in front of her, with her head resting on them. He watched her body closely for a second, and breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw her shoulders rising and falling gently. She was just sleeping. He noticed his toy sitting not far away from the brunette, and something clenched in his chest at the thought of Regina keeping Stuffles with her.

He debated waking her, but he had no idea how much sleep she got the night before, and he didn't want to disrupt her getting some much-needed rest. He left, closing the bedroom door quietly behind him. After that, he padded on down to the kitchen, making coffee for the first time in his life, but he had seen Regina use the machine countless times. He followed the steps exactly as he remembered, and soon the hot liquid was filling up the pot.

He poured the liquid into his mother's favorite mug, carrying it slowly and carefully up to the master bedroom. He snuck in, setting it down on the vanity near her. He was about to walk away when he paused, and looked down at his slumbering mother. Without a second thought, he leant over and placed the softest of kisses on her head.

The woman stirred slightly, and he mentally smacked himself in the head for waking her up. She sat up with a deep groan, and he felt rooted to the spot. She peered blearily up into his face, taking a moment to recognize him. He offered her a pained smile.

"Henry?" she croaked.

"I'm home," he offered lamely. "Here, I made you this." He slid the coffee her way.

"Oh, how sweet of you," she said softly, wasting no time in bringing the mug to her lips. A small moan rumbled in her throat, and she didn't even notice her left hand playing at the fabric around her neck again.

"How are you?" Henry asked quietly.

"I'm...tired." Regina drank deeply from the mug, relishing the burns forming in her mouth.

"So the coffee was a good idea!" Henry smiled at the brilliance of his idea, and the brunette nodded in the affirmative. "What did Mr Nolan want?" He did not notice the way Regina tensed at the question.

"He..." Her fingers tugged at the collar of her shirt again. "He needs to take a statement. For the case. He'll be coming here later this evening."

"Oh."

"Which is why you will be staying with Ms Blanchard tonight." She didn't meet his eyes.

"What? Why?" He looked suddenly alarmed.

"What I need to do for Sheriff Nolan..." Regina squeezed her eyes shut. "It's going to be-"

"Hard. I know, Mom. But why are you sending me away?" Henry's bottom lip jutted out slightly when he pouted from not understanding something.

"It's not that I don't trust you to handle this. But I also don't want you to hear any of what I have to say." Henry opened his mouth to cut in, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I know you have a certain way of eavesdropping on conversations you shouldn't hear, dear." Regina gave him a sly smile, oddly proud of her son. "But this... What happened is something I don't want _you_ to hear. And more importantly, I don't know that _I_ am strong enough to do this."

"Then I should be here to help you!" he responded hotly.

"Oh, Henry." Regina looked at him with a sad smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and reached out a hand to tenderly stroke his cheek. "You have endured so much - too much - for a boy your age. You've had to grow so many years beyond your own, and I don't doubt that you would be strong enough for us, but there are some things that I really _do_ need to protect you from."

"Mom..."

"No," she whispered up to him. "Please. Please do this for me."

Henry looked long and hard into her eyes, unsure what he was searching for. "Okay," he relented. "But you have to promise to call me when you're done!"

"It will be past your bedtime," she countered.

"I don't care. I want you to call me, Mom. I want to know that you're okay!"

"I will...text you. Okay?"

Henry's face split into a wide grin. "Works for me! Oh, and you should keep Stuffles with you when you do your thing with Mr Nolan."

"As much as I love Stuffles, I won't be taking a toy with me,” she responded flatly.

"But he will-"

"Henry," she said heavily. "Not right now. Please. I already e-mailed Ms Blanchard, and she will be here at 5. You two will have dinner together at Granny's, okay?"

Henry nodded, showing that he understood. He placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "You can do this, Mom. You're a mom. And mom's are some of the strongest people in the world." He positively beamed at the brunette, hoping he could inspire some hope in her. David was right. He had to do everything he could to help her through the pain.

"My dear, your confidence is as strong and unwavering as the heart of a lion. For you, I will try to do my best." She paused, and frowned slightly, staring into her half-empty mug. "Henry? Why... Why are you defending me? Why aren't you on _her_ side?"

"Because, what Emma did was wrong." Regina flinched slightly at the mention of the blonde's name. "I know you've done bad stuff in your past, but what she did... It's," he hesitated for a moment. "It's _evil_." His fists clenched into tight little balls. "Even a blind man could see that it was awful what she did to you. Besides," he said almost casually. "You're my mom. No one hurts my mom."

"She's your mother too. And did you forget that I tried to hurt her as well? On many occasions, in fact," Regina was quick but reluctant to point out.

"I didn't forget. But what you did... I d'know. It was just different somehow." The boy shrugged as if that statement explained everything.

Regina desperately wanted to protest. She wanted to beg him not to forgive the wicked quite so readily. She wanted to shake him by the shoulders and shout that she was not worthy, that she was Evil. And, as much as she hated Emma for all that she had done to her in that office, she couldn't fight the feeling that she almost deserved her punishment. However, she didn't do anything. It was another moment to cherish with her son. She had no idea how long his loyalty to her would last, and these displays of affection could be fleeting and finite.

She offered him another smile, this one warmer. "Some day, you will have to explain that difference. But for today, it's enough. Go get packed and start on your homework, okay?"

"Mkays. And, Mom? If you need me for anything-"

"I know how to find you," she finished with another smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com And if any of you have questions, please feel free to message me. I love to hear from you guys!


	26. Undeserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma isn't using her time away very well, but that doesn't mean there aren't those - one completely unlikely - who will stand for her nonsense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains A LOT of strong language, and scenes revolving around alcohol abuse. If you can't do that, please skip!
> 
> Ready to have your feels bludgeoned again? Good, cause it's about to happen! This chapter is pretty rough, and I know Ruby seems like a bitch, but Emma needs it. Desperately. I hope you enjoy, and again, thank you all for reading and sticking with me on this! It's a wild ride, and I'm getting tossed as much as you all are!

Emma rolled over onto her side, head hanging off the edge of the bed, retching loudly. A long dribble of foamy, amber liquid slopped onto the floor, making the existing puddle of drying vomit a little larger. Her arm slung over the edge, and the heavy thud of glass against wood, combined with the sloshing of whiskey rattled around her scrambled brain. She grunted, spitting leftover puke from her mouth before dragging the bottle of Jack along the floor and up to her slack lips.

 _"Emma, when is this going to stop?"_ he asked for the hundredth time.

"Go th' fuuuuck away," she slurred blearily. "I don' want your shhit righ' n-now."

 _"I don't care that you don't want it. The truth is that you_ need _it."_

She hated it when he was patronizingly moralistic and shit. "Tha's bullshit." She took another long swig from the half-empty bottle.

 _"Gods! Would you just_ look _at yourself, Emma!"_ His face crumpled in disgust as he looked at the woman lolling around on the musty little cot.

"I know wha' I look like!" she shouted, leaning up on her left arm, brandishing the index finger of the hand gripping her precious whiskey at the unwanted visitor. "D'you think I'm-" Emma leaned over, expelling more liquor from her stomach, clutching her head in pain.

_"Oh? You can see, can you? I'm surprised at that! Especially considering how you've been pissed drunk for an entire day and a half now!"_

"Fuck off...Graham! You don' get to lectr'e me on shit!" She glared at the late sheriff.

 _"Why is that? Why do I have no say?"_ He attempted to sound patient, but the bite in his tone hardened the words.

"Because!" She hiccupped. "You're...you're fuckin' dead! You shouldn't be sayin' _anything_ at all!" She brandished her finger at him again, although her glare was weakened by her heavy, drunk eyes and thick, glossy tears.

 _"I may be dead, Emma, but that doesn't mean I've had my tongue cut out. It doesn't mean my voice has been silenced."_ This was something he tried to explain to her before, but there were always two kinds of drunks: The ones that blindly believe every word you say, and the ones that think you're perpetually bullshitting them. Emma was the latter. And a belligerent one at that. The sheriff scrambled from the bed, unable to stand, crawling on wobbly arms and legs toward the semi-translucent figure of the dead man. She swung heavily at him, her fist sailing through empty, cold air.

"FUCK! OFF!" she shrieked wildly, eyes popping wide, sour saliva sailing from her mouth. "JUST LEAVE ME TH' FUCK ALONE!" She slumped forward on all fours, cradling her head in her hands. "...Please," Emma said softly, her weeping overtaking her rage.

_"I'll go for now... But, Emma, I will be back. I'm not going to leave you."_

"Why did you leave me in th' firss place?" she slurred against the floorboards. "You weren't s'posed to go..."

_"I never wanted to go. If I could have changed my fate-"_

"Go. Now. Please." Her plea was met with silence, and when she felt the air get slightly cooler, she knew he had gone. But when she looked up, a small, lonely, pathetic, drunken part of her hoped that she would still see him standing there, looking down on her. The room was empty, and the Jack she recently consumed slammed into her. Emma collapsed, having passed out for the third time in 36 hours.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The blonde groaned loudly, the left side of her face numb from where it had been pressed against the floor. She lifted her head up, wiping a little trail of drool from her chin. A string of profanities spouted from her, and she slumped back down, clutching her head, trying to keep it from bursting. The woman couldn't remember ever having a hangover of the magnitude that she was currently experiencing. If someone came, ripped all of her skin off and dunked her body in a vat of lemon juice, she would probably still feel better than how she did right at that moment.

"Fuck... How much did I drink?" she mumbled out to herself. It was dark in the cabin, and she was reluctant to reach for any lights, already knowing it would only intensify the stabbing pain in her throbbing eyeballs.

_"A lot. You had more than a litre of Jack Daniels."_

"Oh God... Not you again."

_"You're lucky that you threw up about half of that. No one needs you dead from alcohol poisoning."_

"You sure about that?" she mumbled, not looking up. Emma had exactly zero desire to see Graham's face again. "I'm beginning to think everybody's better off without me."

 _"Who is everybody exactly?"_ She could feel him getting a little closer. The hairs on her arms stood on end.

"Y'know...everybody. No one needs me. I just...get in the way."

_"What about Henry?"_

"He's got Regina."

_"And Mary Margaret?"_

"David...if they ever make up."

_"I needed you."_

"The moment you started needing me, you got dead. Pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work."

_"How can you brush off Henry like you did? He's your son! He-"_

"He hates me now!" Emma spat each word with as much venom as she could muster, ignoring the pounding ache reverberating throughout her skull, actually looking up at Graham from the floor. "What is there to fight for? I'm a fucking piece of shit, and he doesn't need me-" She paused.

 _"Yes?"_ Graham goaded, finally getting more than profanity and drunken right hooks.

"I'm not discussing this with a _fucking ghost_...or whatever the hell you are. Probably a hallucination."

And we're back to the profanity. _"Emma, why does it matter what I am? The truth comes in all forms. Whether I am a ghost, hallucination or apparition-"_

"What the hell? _You_ don't even know what you are? Jesus fucking Christ! I am _NOT_ doing this! Go away. Let me drink in fucking peace!"

_"So what...? You can drink yourself to death?"_

"If I'm lucky. If I drink myself to death _before_ Regina kills me, I'd consider that a win." Emma slowly picked herself up from the floor, wobbling dangerously on unstable legs, picking up the whiskey bottle on the way. Time for a little hair of the dog.

 _"What if Regina can't kill you?"_ Graham hedged, his tone strange. The air suddenly got a lot closer, the question still left dangling between them. Emma froze, her knuckles white around the neck of the bottle.

"Go. Now." Her voice was low and dangerous, though she wasn't sure what threat she could pose to something she couldn't even touch. His query made her feel like an alarmed cat, back arched, claws out, and tail bottle-brushed sticking straight up. It made her mouth run dry and a thin sheen of sweat coat her palms and temples.

_"Did you-"_

"Now, Graham, or so help me-" The air took on a slight chill. He was gone. She picked up her cane, which was hanging on a chair nearby. She hobbled out to the porch, taking a long swig of liquor. Oddly enough, it settled her stomach almost immediately, and a deep groan of relief rumbled in her throat. The blonde lowered herself onto the rickety porch steps, peering across the little lake as she had done countless times - both sober and not - since her arrival.

Another long gulp, and she grimaced from the burn. Life was so fucking painful when she was wasted, but right now, in her brief and waning moment of sobriety, Emma felt a strong pull to walk into the lake and just...never come back out of it. A hot wave of guilt washed over her. Had she really just dismissed Henry as though he were little more than a passing fancy in her life? Just a distant memory, barely worth acknowledging? Emma drank again. If she hadn't been sober, she wouldn't have said that. And that was terrible reasoning, even for her. But anything to ease the pandemonium of hell twisting maliciously around every inch of her being was worth it.

It started to rain, and Emma started counting. Not her heart, not her breath. She started counting the drops causing ripples on the surface of the lake. She swallowed more whiskey. Emma counted the gravel stones at the tips of her boots. Did she just count the sixties twice? The blonde tried numbering the blades of grass poking up between the gravel. Her head felt warm and fuzzy. Her throat burned hot while the rest of her body shivered. Emma simply counted, though she never made it past 33 every time she tried. Her bottle was empty. She needed the second one. _What if Regina can't kill you?_ echoed at the back of her brain.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Ruby pulled up next to Emma's car, picking up her umbrella before exiting the vehicle. She had more food and some extra creature comforts to bring Emma while she pulled herself together to sort out this catastrophe that she waltzed right into. She moved to the back door of the car, opening it with her right hand and holding the umbrella with the other. She pulled out a familiar-looking duffel bag, slamming the door with her boot.

She was hoping the sheriff wouldn't hold her at gunpoint again, but now that Emma knew she was her ally, she doubted her friend would do so once seeing her. When she rounded the corner of the cabin, humming quietly to herself, the brunette did not find herself staring down the barrel of a pistol. She didn't see Emma on the porch, and for a split second, she assumed Emma was inside. And then she saw her.

The bright red of the sheriff's signature jacket caught Ruby's eye first. Emma was face down on the sodden ground, out cold. She dropped the bag and umbrella, bolting to her friend's side. She couldn't tell immediately if she was even breathing, and knelt down next to her.

"Emma!" she shouted, pulling the blonde over, and yanking her limp body onto her lap. "Holy _shit_ , Em! You're fucking cold!" Ruby yanked her higher up her lap, sliding her hands under wet leather, trying to rub some heat into the frigid flesh beneath. "If you're dead, Emma Swan, I swear I will find away to bring you back to life and personally shit-kick you for being such a stupid ass!"

The brunette ducked her head against Emma's chest. She heard a fluttering heartbeat and shakily sighed with relief. "Good, you're alive. Now I can skip the resurrection and go straight to beating you stupid for scaring the crap out of me!"

The woman stood up, positioned herself at Emma's head, and hooked her hands in the unconscious sheriff's underarms, managing to awkwardly drag her body up the steps, across the porch, and into the little house. The first thing she noticed once she had her friend's body half through the doorway was the smell. It definitely wasn't there during her last visit. She took a quick look around and gagged at all of the puddles of vomit.

"Fuck, Em! What have you been doing?" She resumed her dragging until she deposited the body by the fire. She definitely needed to get her warmed up. It didn't take her long to locate a towel, and she moved to the blonde's side, awkwardly divesting the motionless form from as much wet clothing as she could safely get away with, occasionally eliciting a small grunt or groan. Once the sheriff was in nothing but her damp undergarments, Ruby set about toweling her off, rubbing warmth back into pale, icy skin with the plush fabric.

Emma groaned loudly and stirred slightly, flopping her hands as though she were trying to rub her face. Ruby couldn't tell if she was relieved or still too pissed to care. She settled for both, rolling her eyes and toweling off long, blonde tresses. Emma groaned again and tried to roll over, but the brunette kept her firmly planted against her thighs.

"Stop squirming. You shouldn't move too much right now," she grunted.

"Well...I dun need your help," the sheriff slurred sleepily, not opening her eyes to even see whose aid she's refusing.

"Sure. 'Cause you would've been perfectly fine on your own. You would've, oh, I don't know... _not_ died on your own?" There were times when Ruby wished she had the patience and gentle demeanor of Mary Margaret, but that simply wasn't the case. She was letting her anger get the better of her, and she was ashamed to say that she felt sorely tempted to get up and leave Emma in her own puddle of drunken misery.

"Not dead."

"Not yet. Thanks to me, you dolt." She smacked her friend's face with the towel, and Emma's face scrunched in displeasure. "You're probably going to wish you were when I'm done with you," she grumbled.

"Already do," the blonde responded bluntly.

"Fine, I'll go drown you in the lake, and save myself the trouble of dealing with your shit right now."

"Good. Bury m'body in th' mines." That line snapped the brunette's delicately-balanced reservoir of patience. She violently slapped Emma's face with the towel, roughly dumping the body off of her lap. She shot to her feet, pacing immediately like an agitated panther, eyes blazing with fury and disbelief.

"ARE YOU _FUCKING_ KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" she yelled at the prone woman.

"Jesus! What the hell!?" She sort of sat up on her forearms, finally prying her eyes open to peer at the bristling woman above her. "Are you crazy?"

"Are _you?_ "

"S'not like I was lyin' or anything... The fuck does it even matter anyway? Why th'hell d'you even care anyway?"

The look of vehement disgust on Ruby's face was so severe that the blonde was forced to avert her eyes. "The mere fact that you have to ask that should be grounds enough for me to just leave right now." she said with deadly calm.

"Fine. Ev'ryone else does. My parents, my foster parents, Neal, Graham, Henry, you. Why d'you think I'd be happier floating facedown in a remote lake?" she sniffled softly.

"You know, that whole self-pity thing might work on someone else, but not me. Not now. How dare you say any of that shit! You fucked up, Em. Big time. Everyone knows that. God forbid that I was under the impression that you came here to collect yourself! I've been gone for three days, and I can see that you've had almost three litres of whiskey, and," she looked disparagingly around the room. "It looks like you've yakked up about half of that."

"What's your point?" Emma was still sprawled on her stomach in front of the fire, still wearing only her undergarments - though she did drape the soggy towel around her shoulders.

Ruby only narrowed her eyes further, continuing to pace aggressively. "My _point?_ Jesus fucking Christ, Emma! You're not out here to die of alcohol poisoning and self-loathing!"

"You sure about that? 'Cause that's what it looks'like to me," the blonde drawled.

"I've noticed," she said dryly. "Which is why I'm never bringing you alcohol anymore." Emma scoffed at that, rolling her eyes in a Gee-thanks-Mom style. "You're not going to take me seriously, are you?"

The blonde shot her a petulant, withering look. "Why should I?" Her tone perfectly mimicked that of a grousing teenager.

"If only Henry could see you right now," the waitress whispered almost pityingly.

At that, Emma unsteadily shot to her feet, wobbling up to the other woman, getting right up in her face. "Everyone needs to stop using my son against me, like he's some trump card you can smash in my face any time you want to win!" she hissed. Ruby's lip curled in disgust at the fetid odor of stale liquor and vomit that clung to the sheriff. "Lucky for me," she said sarcastically. "Henry fucking hates me now anyway. So what the hell does it matter now, huh? I'm hearing the same thing from all fuckin' sides! I get it from Mary Margaret, from Regina, from Graham, and now you!"

"Graham...?" Ruby looked at Emma, confused. The blonde looked as though she was about to be physically ill again, and the waitress took a generous step backward.

"S'nothing. That doesn't matter. You all just need to leave me the fuck alone! Henry has Regina! She'll take better care of him anyway! She wins, and she can go have her happy fuckin' ending with..." Emma's lip wobbled dangerously, and she sank to her knees, still too weak and drunk to stand for much longer.

"I'm not sure you deserve to know this," Ruby said, still unmoved by her friend's state. "But there aren't any happy endings going on at the Mills' house." Green eyes peered up at her, confused by that statement. "This surprises you? Wow, seriously? Henry's been depressed, to say the least, since your little...show of force. He hardly talks to anyone, and Regina... Well, no one's seen her since that day either. No one but David.

"And Emma? He said when he called to ask her to come to the station so he could take a statement for the case - against you, I might add - that she freaked the hell out. Know why?" The blonde shook her head no. "Because she was terrified to go to the station. Because it reminded her of _you_ , and that scared her _shitless_.

"David said he had to go to the mansion himself. He said he wasn't allowed to come 'til after dark, and when he went into Regina's office, almost all the lights were out. She was all wrapped up, and hiding her face as much as possible. Regina Mills was _ashamed_ of her appearance! Have you _ever_ seen her like that? No? No one has. You did a real fucking number on her, Em. So I can promise you that there is _zero_ rejoicing happening back in town." Ruby continued glaring down at the blonde.

"I...didn't-"

"Know? Of course you didn't know. You were too busy holed up in this barf-shack, so far beyond plastered that you almost drowned in a fucking _puddle_ , that I fucking dragged you out of. And even then, you were about ready to die of hypothermia. So yeah, you didn't know."

Emma stayed on her knees, staring up at Ruby, completely dumbstruck. She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She repeated that action several times, unable to think of a proper response. Her head was still so muddled from her mammoth hangover and the Jack still pounding around her brain.

"Good. It's about time you shut the hell up and listened to me," Ruby spat. "I'm going to take the rest of the shit I brought you in here, sans liquor. You're going to dry the fuck out, and get your shit together. When I come back to check on you again, I better see Emma Swan. Not this pathetic piece of crap I'm looking at. Understand?"

The sheriff nodded wordlessly, looking for all the world like a strongly-scolded child, wringing her hands, tears leaking out of her eyes. Ruby turned without a word, going to rescue the umbrella and drenched duffel bag from the rain. When she reentered, she continued to shoot dirty looks at crumpled woman on the floor. She emptied the contents of the bag, haphazardly spreading the clothes she brought out in front of the fire. She carried the food and vitamin waters that she picked up over to the kitchenette, unceremoniously piling them on the little counter.

The fuming brunette moved to stand in front of Emma again. "I'm going to leave now. You know what you have to do." The sheriff nodded weakly again, still blubbering drunkenly. Ruby softened for a moment. She leant down, tucking her fingers under Emma's chin, lifting those green eyes to meet her own. "I know it's a shitstorm right now, but...you're stronger than you know. Find your strength again. If you don't, you'll never resurface." She pressed a quick kiss to the woman's forehead, then turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com And if you have any questions, comments, or just feel like chatting, don't ever hesitate to message me! I love hearing from you guys, and I'm not mean! And feel free to find my darling Beta, Jasmine, at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	27. A Change of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has gathered the courage to leave the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that each and every one of you guys are amazing! All of your kind words, messages and reviews have made me feel like I'm actually influencing the lives of others. You all have let me know that my endeavor is in no way a waste of time, and I'd like to offer my most sincere thanks! Before I dissolve into a mushy mess, I give you the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it!

Regina Mills stood staring at her front door, as she had been doing so for the last ten minutes. The mansion was empty, and the silence oozing out of the rooms behind her made her twitchy while she fought frequent urges to glance over her shoulders. However, she restrained from doing so, partly out of pride, but chiefly because it still caused her a considerable amount of pain to do so.

It had been three days since The Attack. Three days, sixty consecutive hours of acute misery. To say that she looked as bad as she felt would be an understatement to rival all understatements. Quite frankly, she looked more like a downtrodden, defeated monster than she did a human being; a fact she was all too aware of.

 _Finally,_ she thought dismally that morning when she looked at herself in the mirror. _The face matches the twisted horror buried within. Fitting._ She had resolved upon waking that day to leave the sheltered harbor that her mansion offered to complete one, small task. She grimaced at herself, setting limits like some kind of weakling. The only comfort she could follow was the knowledge that she'd never get any stronger if she didn't start somewhere.

It took her roughly an hour and a half to apply her makeup that morning, which wasted most of the time she normally would have spent getting Henry ready for school, but the truth was that Regina dawdled somewhat with applying her human face. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with Henry, quite the contrary. Yet, he had been _so_ clingy to her these past few days, and Regina was just so unused to the wealth of attention he was giving her. She wasn't ready for it, and the cause for all of his concern only made her shy away further.

Granted, his attentions and clinginess were completely different from the days of his boyhood when he wasn't concerned with curses or heroes, and the only mother he wanted was the brunette who loved him so. His behavior now was more subdued, like he was walking on eggshells around her. They still didn't talk much, though he spent a lot of time giving her long, morose looks. He offered to do more things around the house for her, as if she was some frail thing that would break under too much exertion. And he was more open to her physical displays of affection than before. He wouldn't shy away when she stroked his hair, nor would he avoid hugs. In fact, he often initiated embraces with her, gently of course.

It was a side of her son she had never before seen...and wished she didn't have to. He was a boy who was being forced to grow up too fast too soon. Henry was attempting to shoulder the burden of the grief Regina bore, and she could not stop him from trying. He was nothing if not persistent, and he had decided it was his job to help her limp back to safety again. Denying him that would only be an insult to his efforts, especially after all the months she had spent fighting for him to begin with. Yet, Regina could not celebrate the price she had to pay to get him back.

Henry was surprised to see her dressed and painted up when she descended the stairs. He was in the middle of cramming his books and folders into his backpack, and his eyebrows shot to his hairline when he looked at her. She was wearing pressed black slacks, a dark burgundy turtleneck - pulled up high - and her hair styled in its usual manner. She actually looked more like herself, aside from the fact that her cheek was still pretty swollen, her lip scabbed, and the cut on her temple was still discernable.

Her features tightened under his scrutiny, stiffening considerably. Her look almost dared him to question her appearance, but Henry wasn't blind to her discomfort. He dropped the look of surprise, and a small smile softened his features.

"You look pretty today, Mom." He continued cramming his books into his bag.

Regina didn't know what he would say, but that certainly wasn't it, and she momentarily forgot to be uncomfortable. "T-thank you," she said softly.

"Don't worry about me. I already ate breakfast, and I'm just gonna buy one of the school lunches. I've got all my stuff here for school," he motioned to the bag he was slinging over his shoulder, flashing her a brief, toothy grin.

"Good. And you'll be sure to-"

"I've got this, Mom. Swear. Are you...going to be okay today?" There it was. The question he asked every time he left the house. The question he asked every time he left the room. Was she going to be okay? The answer was always no, not that she told him so every time. But Henry was sharp, and he knew; however, it seemed that they had some kind of unspoken agreement. Should Regina say she's okay, he took that as permission to leave, that she needed time to herself. But when she answered no, he took his cue to stay with her for as long as she needed him.

Regina smiled sadly, not quite meeting his eyes. "You better hurry, dear. I don't want you to be late." She spoke softly, sadly, but there was warmth and care there. It was enough for Henry to know that she was going to tackle today - or at least the morning - on her own.

"Mkays. I'll see you later." He moved in for a soft hug, and she wrapped his arms around his shoulders, which stood a little higher these days, she noted. He carefully pulled away, throwing a baleful smile over his shoulder on his way out.

She rushed to the door, locking it only moments after it had clicked shut. After that, she moved through every room of the house, checking all the locks, windows and doors. Once she made sure the building wasn't vulnerable to outside invaders - blonde ones that wore red leather in particular - she found herself looking under Henry's bed, her own bed and in the showers of all the bathrooms. They were all devoid of enemies.

When she was on her way down to her study, Regina's left foot gave a nasty twinge; a reminder of injuries that were not yet healed. Although, if she didn't know better, those wounds felt like they were getting worse again, instead of better. The aches she felt in the arches of her feet were more persistent, and certainly less ignorable. The brunette made a quick U-turn, heading back up to her master bathroom. She pried open the medicine cabinet, snatching the bottle of painkillers Dr Whale had prescribed when she got discharged from the hospital.

The bottle was completely empty when she snatched it off the little shelf. _Why would I put an empty bottle back in the cabinet???_ she fumed to herself. Of course, every major aspect of her life was thrown on its face, so why not the little things too? Her grip tightened tenfold on the little bottle when she realized what its emptiness meant: Regina had to go and get it refilled. In public. Exposed. She briefly thought that David would probably pick up the medication for her, but she squashed that thought rather quickly. The idea of relying on David Nolan for a menial task she should be able to do herself made the mayor shudder at her own weakness. No. No one was going to do this for her.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

So Regina Mills stood staring at her front door. It was mocking her repeatedly. Just silently telling her what she couldn't do. That she couldn't feel safe in her home, that she couldn't feel safe outside her home. It reminded her that she was weak. That stupid door reminded her of what she had lost: her power. Emma fucking Swan had robbed Regina of her power, her confidence, even her identity.

A door. Regina Mills was being thwarted by _a door_. Thwarted in her almighty quest for medicine. Pathetic. She ground her teeth, eyes narrowing, self-disgust bubbling in her chest. What was there to be scared of? _She_ was gone. Fled. Disappeared. Wherever she was, that woman was far away from her. As for the prying eyes of Storybrooke? Well, they were all still too terrified of her to be caught staring for too long.

She didn't offer herself another chance to hesitate, and her hand shot out to the lock, flipping it with practiced ease. Her breath caught in her throat, which her left hand lingered over. Her fingers then dropped to the doorknob, and the cool brass seemed to urge her forward. Regina's thin wrist twisted, pulling open the barrier between her and Storybrooke.

The cool, late-morning air crashed over her face, and she let out a shuddering breath, caught between utter terror and a small ounce of pride. The brunette took a tentative step forward, and another shaky breath was expelled from her lips. The ground did not open up and swallow her whole. There were no gawping spectators. _There was no leather-clad sheriff charging at her_.

Regina stood frozen on her porch, left hand splayed over her heart, eyes shut tight, chest heaving. She was outside. What was she doing outside? Why would she ever need to be out of her mansion? Why would she ever leave her safety? A small gust of wind blew around her, carrying with it a deep, earthy scent, mingled with the salt from the ocean. Together, they reminded her of a smell that lingered around Sheriff Sw-

Regina pivoted on her toes, bolting back inside. She slammed the lock in place, falling to her knees, her hand dragging down the painted wood. She felt tears sliding along her cheeks, and jagged, tortured sobs wracked her shoulders. The force of her crying enraged the tender bruise settled in her abdomen, and it wasn't long before small moans of pain mingled with her choked weeping.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

She sat in her Mercedes, parked on the curb near the pharmacy. It had taken Regina several long hours to recover from the initial shock of her first attempt to leave the mansion. The brunette had exhausted her tears, crumpled up against the door gasping for air, eyes stinging and red. Her makeup mask all but ruined, revealing bruises as severely purple as the night they blossomed. The pull of her mouth had stretched the scab on her lip, and it had split slightly around the edges. A sharp throb was pounding away behind her eyes, and every tiny hurt in her body seemed to be on overdrive, all of them vying for her muddled attention.

Eventually, Regina found herself in front of her decanter of cider, staring at it. She was half in the present, half trapped in her office three days ago. And she just gazed at the golden liquid sitting innocently in the crystal container. Her puffy, brown eyes were glazed and unfocused, her body unnaturally tense. She couldn't be sure what had snapped her out of the flashback, but Regina did know that it certainly wasn't her own weak will that was responsible.

She thought she felt Daniel's large, warm hand sliding over the back of her own. She thought she heard the soft timbre of his voice calling her back, his fingers squeezing reassuringly, but when she looked down, all she saw was her hand resting on the decanter. The deepest wave of guilt washed over her, a furious blush blazing across her cheeks. She slid her fingertips from the cool glass, berating herself for her obvious weakness.

The mocking sneer of her mother's face was drawn to the forefront of her mind, and Regina ground her teeth, growling unconsciously. She would not let herself be defeated by a gust of wind. She might be reduced to something less than the mighty queen she knew herself to be, but Regina was not _that_ weak. She refused to be. She swiped away a few errant tears, stepping firmly away from the minibar.

She gripped the steering wheel tightly, taking deliberately-measured breaths to psych herself up to actually exit the Benz. Fear held her back again. She was out in public, and despite her aloof facade of not caring, the paranoid side of her could not help but imagine furtive, curious glances into her car. She could not help but think that they were trying to catch a glimpse of their elusive, damaged mayor. It only made her want to flee even more.

However, she was there. She was a short distance from the allergic dwarf's pharmacy. She had already called in her prescription. And she knew the tone of her voice during the call, and some thinly-veiled threats left the man with no doubt about whether or not it was okay to stare. _It's just a brief transaction,_ she told herself. _Collect your goods and pay with as few words as possible. You've covered yourself up as much as you can. Stop being a coward._

Regina clenched her jaw, and checked all around her to make sure no one was around to witness her exiting the vehicle. She pried her aching fingers off of the steering wheel, and pushed open the door, trying to hold her head high in reminiscence of who she was. The brunette made sure the collar of her burgundy turtleneck was pulled up as far as it could go, and a fetching scarf was wrapped elegantly around her neck, the tails of which were neatly tucked under the breast of her black trench coat.

She yanked open the door, striding purposefully up to the front counter. When she cast a quick glance over the shop, she breathed a small sigh of relief. It was mercifully devoid of customers. Tom Clark greeted her in his usual, mucusy manner, though she noticed a thin sheen of sweat on his brow. The poor dwarf was still terrified of her, a fact that gave the mayor a modicum of confidence. Even like this, she maintained her ability to instill fear in her subjects.

"Madame Mayor, I have your prescription right... _sneeze_....here." She took the small paper bag he offered, mentally reminding herself to slather her skin in disinfectant as soon as she got back into her car. "The total is $44.87."

Regina swiped her credit card, signing for her purchase, curtly declining a receipt. She was impressed and grateful - not that she'd admit it - that the pharmacist had actually managed to avoid making their interaction awkward in any way. He treated it as any other transaction, with the exception of generally voiding eye contact with her in any way possible. Another small thing she was appreciative for.

Regina exited the building and promptly collided into a tall, thin, fuming mess of brown hair streaked with red. In an instant, she was being smashed into the wall behind her desk, strong arms pinning her there. She felt sweaty fingers closing around her throat; saw crazed malachite eyes boring into her own. Her ears were ringing with the throaty screams of a woman who radiated nothing but pure hatred. The skin on her face tingled with the sizzle of hot saliva peppering her features.

She stumbled backwards, tripping over her feet and landing hard on the sidewalk. "STOP! STOP! STOP!" she screamed over and over, skidding backwards on her hands and feet. Tears slid down her face, while her eyes danced wildly around her, completely unseeing. "JUST FUCKING STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Regina clawed wildly at her throat, and swiped her hand through empty air in front of her.

Ruby stood frozen, staring open-mouthed at the woman on the ground that was supposed to be Regina Mills. She couldn't decide if she should walk away, try and talk to the mayor, or wait and watch. The former and the latter seemed to be cruel in the eyes of the waitress. Instead, she ducked down slightly, carefully holding her hand out in front of her as though approaching a wild animal. She took a tentative step forward.

Regina's eyes suddenly focused on the proffered hand, and they shot wide, roiling with terror and fury. Her own hand shot out, gripping the younger woman's digits as tight as she possibly could - which was unexpectedly tight, considering the slight woman. Ruby cried out in pain as her fingers were crushed in the iron grip of the mad mayor. She was yanked down, almost falling on top of Regina, their faces inches apart.

"You will _never_ hurt me as you did before! You will _never_ exert that power you thought you wielded against me. And I swear, _Sheriff,_ " she spat into the waitress's face. "If you come near me again. If you dare entertain the thought of finishing what you started... _I will kill you personally._ " Her brown eyes blazed into a frightened face that was unable to look away. " _Have I made myself clear?_ " she growled venomously, still keeping her fingers clamped tightly around Ruby's.

"R-Regina...?" she whispered breathlessly. She saw a falter, then a switch in the fiery gaze trying to melt her into oblivion.

Regina's eyes suddenly drew into focus. She found herself not face-to-face with the blonde, but with the wolf. She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, hardly even registering the position she was in. "Miss Lucas?" She felt nothing but shame, guilt and embarrassment at her display, but played it off as best as she could as confusion.

"Hey," Ruby breathed, still mere inches apart from the other woman. Regina's hand suddenly snapped open, releasing hers. She let out a grateful gasp, flexing her aching fingers gingerly. "Jesus, Regi- I-I mean, Mayor Mills." she said, standing upright again. "Have you been working out or something?" But Regina just stared at her in horror. "I know it seems kinda dumb to ask, but are you okay?"

"I..." Regina's voice trailed off, and the waitress was almost completely certain she didn't have a clue what she wanted to say, but simply felt the need to say _something_.

"Hey," she said gently. "Maybe we should get you off the ground. Does that sound like a good place to start?" She smiled gently at the mayor, wanting to extend her hand, but she remembered what happened to her unfortunate digits when she tried that a few minutes prior.

Regina's brows drew together minutely. "You're trying to help me?"

"Would you rather I didn't?"

"...No," she responded pensively.

"Here," Ruby said, scooping up the bag the older woman dropped. "Wouldn't want you to lose these."

"Thank you," Regina said, still looking at the waitress as if she had never seen her before. Her eyes raked over Ruby's lanky form, and her frown deepened. "Miss Lucas, you are positively filthy." She gestured to muddy leggings, even muddier boots, and dirt-encrusted fingernails.

"Er...I fell. I was...hiking in the woods. You know? Fresh air and exercise are healthy for the mind and body?" Regina didn't have Emma's built-in lie detector, but that didn't mean she couldn't spot one being rubbed right in her face.

She knew the wolf had avoided the woods since her tryst with being deputy several months prior. Her rather unfortunate experience of finding a human heart buried at the Toll Bridge rather set her off her appetite for strolls in the forest. Not to mention the fact the Ruby was conscious of her appearance; she wasn't the type to muck around and get her hands dirty. But now was not the time or place to theorize what the wolf was hiding.

"Indeed," Regina responded flatly.

"Can I help you up?" she offered again.

"No!" The retort was sharp, leaving no room for doubt about her need to do things for herself. She carefully hauled her body to her feet, patting off as much dirt as she could from the back of her trench coat. She took her pills from Ruby, giving her a curt nod of thanks. When she started walking back to the Benz, she noticed the younger woman tentatively walking along with her, looking uncomfortable, as though expecting to be reprimanded at any second. Despite the unorthodox nature of having someone actually walk with her, Regina didn't tell Ruby off; though, she couldn't figure out why.

She stopped at the curb beside her car, turned, and looked at the woman standing next to her. She swallowed nervously before saying, "Miss Lucas...I apologize for my actions. They were-"

"Completely understandable. Besides, it was my fault I wasn't looking where I was going." she offered a tense, but warm smile.

"Why...are you being nice to me? I've never been-"

"I'm just nice like that. Try not to read into it too much. Trust me, I'm not working any angle here, Mayor Mills. Take a chill pill."

"Excuse me?" Regina said, narrowing her eyes.

"Uh...I'm just gonna run and clean up. Take care!"

"Miss Lucas?" Ruby turned around to face her addresser. "Perhaps... I mean, if you wouldn't mind... If you aren't too busy, we could-"

"Oh my God, are you asking me on a date?" the waitress asked, completely astonished.

"Absolutely not!" Regina looked shocked and affronted at such a notion, and Ruby blushed so deeply, she matched her namesake. "What could have _possibly_ given you that impression?"

"I honestly have _no_ clue," she replied earnestly, laughing in her nervousness.

"Perhaps you would do better to hold your tongue next time."

"Right, yeah!" Ruby sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "So, what were you going to say before I...you know..."

"It no longer matters. I have changed my mind."

"W-what? You have to at least tell me what it was! C'mon, pleaseeeee!" the wolf whined, and it reminded Regina of the way Henry would beg for something he wanted.

"I was going to ask if you would like to perhaps get better acquainted."

"Oh my God! Are you serious? That would be-"

"A terrible idea. Hence my retraction of the offer."

"I was going to say it would be pretty cool..." she trailed off, a tinge of hope coloring her words.

"Considering that we have exactly nothing in common, I think it would be rather foolish," Regina said crisply.

"Yeah? Considering that you don't actually _know_ me, I doubt you can accurately rely on those assumptions of yours," the young brunette pointed out. Regina fixed her with a pointed glare, and Ruby held her hands up in playful defeat. "Whatever you say, Mayor. You're the boss! But hey," she implored sincerely. "If you ever feel like changing your mind again, you know where to find me."

"I- Thank you for the offer, Miss Lucas."

Ruby smiled softly. "No problem. And, uh, I hope this isn't too forward, but you shouldn't have to do this alone either."

Regina stared at the young woman for a long moment, her lips parting and brow knitting together in a look of confused realization. When she noticed she was staring, she blinked her eyes, plastering on a tight smile. "If you're afraid something is too forward, dear, it often is." She climbed into the Mercedes without a second glance, driving off with a smirk tugging at her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com and another HUGE thanks to my beta, Jasmine, without whom I could not have made this story what it is. You can find her at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	28. Trying Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby sees a different side of Regina, and divulges some very sensitive information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but life got in the way. Anyway, I had a fantastic time writing this chapter, and I was like a kid in a candy shop writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did making it! Have fun!

Ruby had a fitful and distracted evening, having come face-to-face with both Emma and Regina in the same day. If there was one conclusion she drew from the experiences, it was that neither woman was any better off than the other. Granted, Regina wasn't so drunk that she was about to die passed out in a puddle, and she _did_ have Henry and her home. However, the panic attack she witnessed was very real, and she couldn't shake the image of hollow, brown eyes sunken into a layer of makeup so thick that there was no doubt about what she was trying to hide underneath it all. In fact, the grotesque swelling in her cheek looked _more_ disturbing without the appearance of the bruising that Ruby knew was there.

Despite Regina's angry reaction during her panic attack, despite threats of violence and retaliation, the waitress had a keen eye, cultivated from years of watching the residents of Storybrooke pass through the diner in all manner of moods and denials. She saw exactly what the older woman's anger was a mask for, what it was deflecting the attention from: _fear._

It was clear as day to Ruby that Regina was positively petrified of seeing the town's beloved former sheriff. Others would have most likely seen just the sheer contempt and hatred that she was exuding, but the young woman saw the way those eyes she stared into snapped wide open, felt the tremble in the hand crushing hers, heard the subtle break in the woman's voice as she spouted her threats to someone who wasn't really there. Regina Mills was afraid of Emma, and that was news to turn even the most gossip-averse heads - not that Ruby would go shouting about it around town either.

The young brunette was also beginning to truly learn the meaning of the phrase _no good deed goes unpunished_. The first was her finding and helping Emma. The blonde had done her share in helping Ruby, especially during her stint as deputy. She helped her find confidence in herself, her abilities, and the kind of woman she sought to become. When she had it in mind to track Emma down after her disappearance following the attack, Ruby was doing it for the benefit of a friend. She knew what Emma did was wrong, and that the woman needed to answer for her crimes. Yet, she also understood the need for time, even if it was outrageously inappropriate to be helping a wanted criminal.

How did her friend repay her kindness? By getting pissed drunk and throwing a grand old pity party for herself, resulting in near death. The blonde was basically swimming in vomit and anguish, something that did strike Ruby's tender heart. But she grew up under Granny's wing, and the brunette knew when tough love was in order - more like a swift boot to the stubborn sheriff's ass. None of which made her feel any better about herself, or her feelings toward the woman she considered a close friend.

As for Regina Mills? Her mind was still reeling from that. Not only had Ruby obviously been the trigger for a panic attack - well, it was obvious to her, at least - but she had also sort of managed to snap her out of it. Almost any one else in Storybrooke would have turned tail and ran after that, but she was just too kind to leave someone so in need of help on the sidewalk. What does she get for being so nice again? Regina Mills - _Regina freakin' Mills_ \- wanted to be friends? For a moment at least, and then Ruby told her to reconsider!

If she was going to be completely honest with herself, being buddies with the mayor was not high on her list of things she wanted to do before she died. It wasn't that she really objected to the woman in any strong way, but Regina was pretty scary. Both women knew the mayor wasn't lying when she mentioned having never been nice to the waitress. She wasn't outwardly rude per se, but she certainly never made any attempt at anything beyond curt nods, terse replies and some not-so-subtle scathing looks at the young woman's racier outfits. Naturally, the idea that Regina would want anything to do with her made Ruby more than a little nervous. So when Granny called her into the back room with a forlorn expression on her face the following day, she couldn't fight the sinking feeling that melted into the pit of her stomach.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"Ruby!" came Granny's sharp bark, immediately calling her attention. "Come back here now!"

With a roll of her eyes, she strode swiftly into the small room that doubled as a break room-slash-supply closet next to the kitchen. "If Miss Ginger wants to complain about the way I make her coffee again, I swear she's just being difficult, and you know it," she huffed impatiently.

Granny turned from the telephone to look at her, a strange expression on her stern face. "That crone can go stuff her complaints where the sun don't shine. She's given us enough grief all these years." A shrewd smile momentarily broke the unusual look on her face that was making Ruby's stomach twist.

"Good, because I may have told her something along those lines..." Granny snorted with veiled approval. "So, what's up?"

"I got a...strange call. But before I tell you what it's about, I have to ask, what have you been up to, girl?"

"You've lost me, Gran."

"You've been acting differently. Distracted. And you come back from wherever it is that you're sneaking off to-" Ruby opened her mouth to object, but the older woman silenced her with a look. "I've raised you since you could barely walk, girl. Did you _really_ think I didn't know you were going somewhere? And then you come back all dirty, and I can tell your head isn't in it.

"You've never dropped a tray in your life girl, and yesterday you broke four mugs and shattered two dessert plates! And now I get this phone call... I'm concerned, Ruby. What's been going on with you?"

The young waitress shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her grandmother's stare. "Look, Granny, even if I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. It's not my place," she said hurriedly at the way the other woman crossed her still-strong arms. "It's pretty sensitive, and personal. But! I'm not in trouble in any way. I swear!"

Granny narrowed her eyes at the brunette. "Not so sure I believe that, girl. I got a call from _the mayor._ " Ruby's mouth dropped open in shock and horror. "Mhm. She wouldn't tell me what it was about, but she gave me a message. She told me to tell you that, 'I change my mind. I expect you at my house at 8:30 sharp.'"

"Oh God..."

"Mind telling me why Mayor Mills wants to see you at her mansion tonight?"

Ruby swallowed thickly, feeling like her heart had leapt to her throat and her stomach was somewhere in her feet. "I, uh..."

"Changed her mind about what, Ruby?"

"It's...also not my place to say. I'm sorry! I want to, but I doubt she'd want me telling anyone. I'm so sorry!" Granny just continued to stare at her. "Does...does this mean that I get tonight off?"

"Don't have much choice," the older woman said gruffly. "Can't really tell the mayor no, now can I?"

"I'll make up the hours! I'll do a double on-"

"Calm down, girl. I'm not angry at you. I'm just-"

"Worried and concerned. I know." Ruby rested a hand on her grandmother's shoulder. "I'm not in trouble. I promise." She gave a warm smile, which her grandmother slowly returned.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Ruby pulled her car up to the front of the mayoral mansion, her palms sweaty on the steering wheel. She checked the time on her cell, and saw it read 8:22pm. She had a feeling that Regina valued punctuality, and she had absolutely no intentions of showing up late in any way.

So, several hours prior, Ruby punched her time card and bolted back to her place. She didn't think showing up smelling like grease, coffee and sweat would make a good impression on the mayor, so she hopped into a searing shower. Nervous that she was meeting Regina for God knows what, because that woman had hidden agendas everywhere, Ruby put on clothes that would be considered polite in public. She slipped into some nice black leggings, a form-fitting black t-shirt with a red flannel button-down open on top of it, and her favorite pair of red Converse.

She blew a breath out from puffed cheeks, fighting the writhing worms in her stomach before stepping out onto the street. It was already dark thanks to the waning daylight of Autumn. She drew her jacket a little closer around her shoulders, and started up the narrow walkway to the mansion. Having never had much cause to be in this neighborhood, Ruby didn't realize just how big Regina's house was. The elegant, ivory estate rose beautifully before her, and she suddenly felt drastically underdressed.

She stood in front of the white door, the brass 108 glinting in the pale moonlight. She swallowed again, feeling her stomach twisting nervously once more. She must be crazy for agreeing to this - not that she had much choice in the matter. Her grandmother was right; one does not simply say no to Mayor Mills. She clenched her jaw tightly, steeling herself for whatever madness was about to happen that evening. She rapped her knuckles lightly on the door, wiping her sweaty palm on her thigh.

She waited a few uneasy moments, wondering if this was some weird prank, before hearing a muffled voice on the other side of the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Ruby. You invited me over?" She heard the heavy _clunk_ of the lock being flipped, and the door opened to reveal one Regina Mills.

"Miss Lucas," she rasped quietly. "You're right on time. How refreshing." She stepped aside, allowing Ruby to enter the spacious foyer. She took in the general splendor of the place, but the sound of the lock clicking shut behind her sent a shiver down her spine.

"Your jacket, dear. I'll hang it up for you." Ruby turned to look at the woman, and saw her delicate hand extended, and a weak, unconvincing smile on her lips. That only succeeded in making her even more nervous, but she slid the garment from her shoulders nonetheless.

"Thanks. Your place is amazing."

"You're welcome. I have to agree with you, but sometimes it's a little too..." A pained expression crossed Regina's face, and Ruby immediately steered the conversation elsewhere.

"So! Where's Henry? Will he be hanging with us tonight?" She flashed the older woman a roguish grin. "Or is it just a girl's night?"

"He's spending the evening with Miss Blanchard."

"Really? He's with Mary Margaret? But I thought you hated-" Regina arched a challenging eyebrow, daring her to finish her sentence. "Er...Girl's night it is. So, what's on the agenda? Chick flicks and popcorn? Shots and strip poker?" She paled under the mayor's acute, slightly-disbelieving gaze. "Yeah...you're probably too classy for strip poker. Sorry."

Regina started heading to the kitchen, "Maybe we should start with coffee."

"Sure, sounds like a plan." She mentally smacked herself in the forehead, already certain that this evening was going to be very short or _very_ long.

"Do you prefer tea?" the older woman asked, seeing the obvious anxiety in her young guest. "Or is it just too late for caffeine?" The uncertainty in the mayor's voice threw Ruby completely off-balance. Everyone was so used to hearing decisive, straightforward commands, that the tone sounded ridiculously foreign to her ears.

"Coffee is fine. I mean, I usually stay up pretty late anyway, so that's not an issue at all."

"I suppose you're used to staying up, downing liquor and making all the boys put their socks and shirts in the pot." Ruby fixed her with a look caught between wonderment and pure amusement. "What? I know a woman who can play a drunk man for a fool in a game of cards when I see one." Regina's statement was bland, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, but there was something in her eyes.

"Wow. If I didn't know any better, Madame Mayor, I'd say that was a compliment? Or perhaps you have some experience in the matter?" A teasing grin slid easily into place, feeling the massive knot of tension in her stomach lessen somewhat.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Regina responded lightly, but a wry smile touched the corners of her mouth. If her face wasn't quite so disfigured, Ruby might have thought it almost charming. "Seeing as you're standing in my kitchen, dear, I think it's safe for you to drop the formalities. _But_. Only within the confines of this house."

"I can definitely do that Ma-Regina. But, that means that you have to call me by my first name too." She mentally winced again, realizing that she sounded like a complete dork. If she got _any_ more awkward, Regina was likely to put an end to this absurd...whatever it was, before the ball really got rolling.

"Any preference for flavored coffee? I have French vanilla, hazelnut, coconut...?"

Ruby saw Regina peering at neatly-organized bags of coffee in a cupboard near the refrigerator. "Coconut? Really?"

"Sounds like someone is curious?" The older woman continued to speak to the cabinets, not looking at her guest at all.

"I can't say I've ever had it. Is it any good?" She did nothing but small talk at the diner day in, day out, but could she really expect deep, perspective-altering conversation so soon? The woman she was curiously watching was private, guarded, and unusually out of her element. Small talk would have to do for now.

"Would I have it in my household if I didn't think it more than acceptable to my tastes?" Regina's response was terse, but Ruby detected no venom under the words. Just exhaustion. The mayor snatched one of the bags from its place, and strode over to the coffee machine nearby. The young waitress' sharp eyes caught the stiffness in her movements, and she knew that her hostess was in pain. A fresh wave of confusion washed over her. Why the hell was she playing friends when the woman clearly needed a stiff drink and double dose of Vicotin?

"Oh, yeah. Duh. I'm willing to try something new!" She kept her tone light and friendly.

"It's a lovely combination, though not many people think of the two as anything that would mix well. Good matches come in the strangest of places," the older woman mused, almost to herself. She flipped the little switch on the side of the machine, turning to finally look at Ruby. The waitress was standing awkwardly in the kitchen, looking comically uncomfortable, like she was afraid her mere presence would bring the building crashing down. A soft, quiet chuckle snuck out of Regina's throat.

Ruby frowned at the sound, suddenly self-conscious at the thought that the mayor was laughing at her. "What's funny?" she asked crossly.

"Do sit down, dear," she said motioning to one of the stools at the island counter, the smallest of smiles touching her lips again.

The younger woman shot to the nearest seat, full of nervous energy. "Sorry, I just wasn't sure if we were staying in here, or..."

"Would you rather we go to another room? The living room...?" All of those insecurities slammed into place again, and the waitress was left wondering how long it had been since Regina entertained a guest, _properly._

"Kitchen's fine. Usually I'm not very fond of them, 'cause I spend enough time in them at my job, but your kitchen is _hella_ nice!" Ruby looked around, taking in the tastefully-decorated space, hoping that one day she would have enough money - or marry into enough of it - to live in a place like Regina's mansion.

The mayor shot her guest a peculiar look, moving to lean casually over the island counter, but pulling back with the slightest wince. "What was that word?"

Ruby snorted with laughter, realizing that the woman had never before heard the word 'hella' and probably didn't know what she was talking about. "It's, uh...It's like saying something is _really_ nice, or _really_ bad, or _really_ pretty, or-"

"It's an amplifier for an adjective, then?"

"Uh, I think so? Like, you have a hella nice wardrobe. Which is one way of saying that you have awesome clothes!" Ruby's easy smile fell into place again, and Regina's cocked eyebrow only made her giggle as well. The coffeepot burbled its signal that the brew was done, and the hostess took her cue to pull out two glossy, red mugs.

"How do you take your coffee, dear?"

"Hella black," she said as straight-faced as she could manage. "I'm just kidding! I like sugar and a splash of milk," she said playfully before Regina's eyebrow could climb any higher. The older brunette set a steaming mug of java in front of the other woman, along with a small sugar shaker, spoon, and miniature carafe of milk.

Once Ruby had added her preferred extra ingredients, she brought the mug up to her lips. The girl was all too aware at how apprehensively Regina watched her, and she wasn't sure if she should feel sorry for someone who seemed almost desperate to impress. "Holy shit! That's delicious! I never would have thought..."

Regina let out a breath of relief that was just a little too audible for her liking. "I'm glad you like it, dear." She rewarded Ruby with another ghost of a smile.

"I love it! Where do you buy this stuff?"

The mayor hesitated for a long moment, a flurry of thoughts passing behind her eyes. She turned, swiped up the bag of grounds that she left near the coffee maker, and slid it across the counter toward the other woman. "Here. I don't drink it that often, and I can always get more." Her tone was soft, slightly higher than usual, and her whole body tensed as if waiting for an immediate refusal.

"A-are you sure? I can get my own. I don't want to seem like some kinda coffee thief or something."

Some of the tension melted away from the older woman's body, and she chuckled once more. "I'd like to see anyone try to steal anything from me, dear. And if coffee is all you're after, I'd think you to be the least of my worries."

Ruby blushed prettily, ducking her face down to the mug clasped between her fingers. She was utterly baffled by their short interaction. They were talking about _coffee_ for fuck's sake! Yet, it still felt somewhat natural, and even a little friendly. To be honest, it was almost alarming to feel any hint of warmth or amiable inclination from the older woman. She secretly thought to herself that that mayor might be more popular among her townsfolk if she just showed this side of herself a little more often.

Everyone viewed Regina Mills as almost inhuman. They looked at her as this stony, emotionless, whirlwind of power and threats. For the most part, they were right, because that was the only Regina Mills they knew. It seemed that perhaps the woman might have softened up a bit when she adopted a little boy, but motherhood did little to her public demeanor. She remained just as harsh and unapproachable as before. She wondered if and why Regina had kept the softer part of her a well-guarded secret.

"You know where she is," the mayor stated quietly and evenly.

Ruby damn near choked on her coffee. "W-What?" Icy fear trickled right down her spine. She knew exactly what she heard, and she was almost certain that her stomach had crumpled itself into a useless knot, and her heart was suddenly hammering right behind her eyes.

"No games, Miss Lucas. You know where she is." Regina fixed her with a steady gaze, and her skin crawled when she realized there was no accusation, malice or hint of a threat in those amber eyes, when she felt there should be. She could only discern a calm hardness, and she became terribly aware of the fact that she was very alone with the older woman.

"Regina...if you mean Em-"

" _Don't!_ Do. Not. Say. Her. Name." Regina hissed. Her voice was laced with unmistakable hatred, but Ruby saw more than most people. When she stared into the other woman's wide eyes, she saw nothing but fear. The anger was only a mask.

She held up her hands in surrender, and watched as the older woman fingered the collar of her turtleneck nervously. It clicked in place, and she felt like a damned fool for not realizing why she was so tightly wrapped in that garment. Emma tried to strangle Regina, and she grimaced at the vicious bruises that she could only imagine lay beneath the fabric.

"I..." Ruby faltered, not actually knowing what she was going to say. Her first instinct was to lie and say she knew nothing of Emma's whereabouts. However, a niggling irritation tugged at the back of her mind. It was the part of her that was righteously pissed at the blonde for abusing the aid she had kindly given her. It was the part of her that wanted Emma to pay for what she had done - but then again, hadn't Regina done equally vile things? She never thought she'd be in a position to side with a person that she deemed to be the lesser of two evils. To her complete dismay, she could not tell which person it was.

"Miss Lucas-"

"I told you to call me Ruby!" she snapped, grimacing at her obvious deflection.

"Fine. _Ruby,_ " the mayor spat. "I need to know where that woman is!"

"Why? So you can kill her? Like you tried to do before? What stopped you then, huh? What gave you cold feet when _Emma_ was in her coma?!" Ruby was on her feet, hands splayed across the cool marble of the countertop, leaning over it, every word biting as it flew from her mouth. Regina stayed stock still, eyes wide, gaze hot enough to melt steel. Again, Ruby saw fear, but this time it was coated on pretty thickly, and there was something strange about the heart-stopping glare she was under. It wasn't all there.

"Oh, right. I remember why," the waitress said in mock realization. "I think it had something to do with flowers, right? Roses, right? Correct me if I'm wrong." Her tone was sickly sweet, and she was hating herself for her brazen display, but once the word vomit started, there wasn't much anyone could do to stop it.

"Oh, and a single sunflower in the bouquet, yes? What a gesture. Almost romantic, wouldn't you say? Let's not forget the evening I saw you standing over _Emma_ , holding her hand, yeah? This is the best fucking part we're about to get to. You touched her face. No. You _brushed_ her face. _Gently._ How murderous." Ruby saw the vein in Regina's forehead throbbing at a sickening pace.

"What was that all about, Regina? I mean, come on! Everyone knows you hated her! And she hated you! Does that sting a little? Knowing that _Emma_ hated you? Did you have some twisted crush on her?" Regina sneered just as her stomach lurched, trying to snap the young waitress out of her cruel little tirade. It didn't work.

"You did, didn't you? I can see it. Maybe it was more than a crush? More than even lust? Did you _love_ her?!" Ruby's voice was cold and mocking, and she didn't even recognize herself in that horrific moment. Not two seconds after the words left her painted lips did Regina Mills collapse heavily on the floor.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"Shit! Shit! God damnit." Ruby was kneeling on the floor, cradling Regina's upper body in her lap, not unlike the way she did with a very unconscious Emma. "What is it with you two? Always hating on each other. Now, neither of you are even able to stay alive, or conscious or whatever." There really was no need for her monologue, but talking seemed to fill the dreadful silence around her. She decided that if Regina didn't wake in the next five minutes, she would call for an ambulance.

She felt an icy cold lump settle into her stomach. Ruby would be lucky to make it out of here alive. If the woman in her lap didn't wake up soon, she would have a lot to explain to David _and_ Henry, in which some very uncomfortable things could potentially come to light. If Regina did wake up soon, well...the young woman didn't even want to think about the wrath that would be ferociously flung her way. One thing was for certain: tonight was the biggest, grandest fuck-up of her life, and there was no way in hell that she would ever forget that evening for as long as she lived.

"You and Emma are both fucking idiots. Yeah, yeah, I know it's my fault for getting involved too, but... I don't like standing by and not _doing_ something. Just wake up already," she growled, giving Regina a little shake. "I don't want to call the cops or anything!"

"You know..." Regina slurred hoarsely, causing Ruby to leap about a mile out of her skin. "Jus' because I...was uncon'cious...doesn' mean I couldn' hear..."

Ruby paled instantly, but chose to act as though she hadn't heard while the mayor started to squirm in her lap. "Hey, easy. Don't sit up too soon, you could pass out again."

"The hell d'you care, _Ruby?_ "

The younger woman winced, knowing she deserved what was sure to be the first of many barbs. "It's not that I don't care-"

"Bullshit," the older brunette snapped, propping herself up on an elbow. "What reason do you have to care about me? You were right yesterday; I have never been nice to you. So why should I expect any different from you?" Brown eyes bored into her own, and she felt a blush of shame coloring her cheeks.

"Because I'm just nice like that."

"Oh right, and I'm not. I'm just some wicked villain, heartless and cold...devoid of sympathy and compassion."

"I didn't mean it like that," Ruby snapped. "I mean that I'm generally nice to everyone, and I think people deserve the benefit of the doubt. That includes you, Regina."

"I hope I've proven to you that some things are not worth the benefit of even the slightest of doubts. You get hurt too many times placing misguided faith. Life is simpler without taking those foolish risks." The mayor's face was dark, her gaze stony, and Ruby didn't doubt for a second that Regina knew too much tragedy in her past to give her such a view on life.

"It must also be really lonely..."

"Companionship means little to me." Regina's tone was clipped, but she didn't meet Ruby's eyes.

"Says the woman who fought tooth and nail for her child."

"The presence of a child in his mother's life is completely different from idle friendship, stupid girl."

"What about Kathryn?"

"She was nothing to me."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"You have no idea what you're talking about-"

"What about _her?_ Why did you..." Ruby hesitated for a moment. She didn't know the actual details of Emma coming out of the coma, so her gamble could potentially cause more pain, and make her look even more idiotic than Regina already thought her to be.

"Why did you kiss her, Regina?" She felt the other woman tense against her body. "You could have kept her like that, in the coma. And don't tell me it was for Henry. Some part of you missed her. Why else would you visit her in the middle of the night? Hold her hand? Leave her flowers? Those aren't the gestures of hatred, Madame Mayor."

"You're not doing her any favors...hiding her," the mayor threw back.

Ruby sighed heavily. "Regina...you're a wreck. Let's be honest here. As bad as you are, I think Em-she might be worse. I can't see how your presence would make things any easier for either of you right now."

"Why haven't you told Sheriff Nolan?"

"About where she is?" Regina nodded in affirmation, gingerly moving to sit cross-legged in front of her guest.

"You do realize you are aiding a wanted criminal. You could be in a lot of trouble if that information was made known to the wrong people."

"And are you one of the wrong people, Regina? Are you gonna tattle on me if I don't tell you where she's staying?"

"No." Regina's voice was soft, almost sorrowful. "When I see her for the first time since she attacked me, I...don't want any cell bars between us."

"Why should I trust you not to hurt her?" Ruby fixed her with a careful gaze, watching every reaction closely to discern the other woman's motives.

"Perhaps, Miss Lucas, this is one of those occasions where you give someone the benefit of the doubt, as you spoke of before. There has been enough violence and damage already. Doing any more would only hurt the one person I care about more than myself."

"Henry."

"Henry," Regina echoed.

Ruby's brow furrowed as she regarded her companion. She wasn't able to find any lie in those words, but she couldn't fight the rising swell of doubt in her chest. It was true that she wanted to give Regina a chance. God knows she might be the first to voluntarily offer the mayor some trust when others would have shut her out, but what if her lie was exceptionally well hidden? What if she genuinely _did_ want to hurt Emma...maybe even kill her? The waitress would never be able to live with herself if she allowed any harm to befall her friend, and she had little doubt about her own willingness to hand over the culprit should such a thing happen.

However, it wouldn't make much sense for Regina to do so. Not when Ruby was so intimately aware of both women. Ruby would know who was behind any fresh injury - or murder - to Emma. She would be able to point David straight to Regina. The waitress understood that some revenges had no limits, but with Henry's well-being on the line, the mayor couldn't risk killing his birthmother and then being jailed for said crime. If there was one thing Ruby knew about the other woman, it was that she valued Henry above all else. Murder was not in her best interest as far as keeping her son in her life went. Maybe she was going crazy, or maybe she just had good instincts, but that logic struck as sound with her.

For her part, Regina remained quiet while her guest organized her jumbled thoughts. She knew there was a time and a place for rushing, but a situation as delicate and convoluted as the one she now found herself in required patience. Trying to force an answer prematurely would only come off as brash and aggressive - exactly the opposite of what she wanted the young woman to think of her actions.

She watched, slightly amused, as Ruby's pretty face went through a flurry of emotions. Her eyes darted around, lost in thought, under drawn brows. She pensively rubbed her fingers across lips the color of her namesake, and Regina could practically see the two fronts she was being pulled back and forth from. But, as the moments ticked by, she got more and more nervous. The longer Ruby took to reach a decision, the more likely she was to be unsure of said choice, and choose to deny her the blonde's location. She started chewing on her lip, fidgeting restlessly with the collar of her shirt, unconsciously longing for the soft form of a stuffed lion to busy her twitchy fingers with.

"Okay." Ruby said, her stomach rolling. She prayed to anything that might hear her that she was about to make the right choice. For everyone.

"Okay?" Regina couldn't bite back the apprehension in her voice, and she leaned forward expectantly, ignoring the ache of her abdominal bruise.

"I...I'm gonna tell you." The young woman's face was taught with worry, but it dissipated slightly when she saw a small bubble of hope break through the mayor's cracked, marred facade. "But...You have to _promise_ me, on Henry's life, that you will bring her no physical harm."

"I cannot guarantee that. It was Emma who chose to attack me first, after all," Regina said dryly. "Should she do the same, I will not hesitate to retaliate in self-defense."

"Then promise not to hurt her by your design. Injury can only come to her if she is the one to swing first." Ruby kept a hard gaze on the impatient mayor.

"Miss Lucas-"

" _Promise me._ If you don't, I will never tell you where she is."

Regina shot her an irritated look before holding up her right hand. "I, Regina Mills, do swear on the life of my son, Henry Mills, witnessed by Ruby Lucas, that I will not bring any harm to..."

"Good enough. You don't have to say her name."

"...Th-thank you," the older woman mumbled sheepishly.

"Okay..." Ruby blew out a big breath. "She's at that little cabin in the woods. You know, the one where she found Gold when he kidnapped Moe French?"

"I know of it," the older woman responded slowly.

"But, I warn you. She could hardly handle herself and what happened when she wasn't sober. Now that I'm making sure she doesn't get a lick of alcohol...she might be more than a little unstable."

"Why are you telling me? Why give me any warning at all?"

"I don't know... Maybe I just don't want you to go in blind?"

"And what of her? Will you warn her of my impending visit?"

"And give her a chance to pack up and run? Come on, Regina. You know her. Running is something she's seriously good at. If I tell her you know where she is, neither of us will ever find her again after that."

"Ruby?" Once more, those insecurities were rolling off of the mayor in thick waves, and it never failed to alarm the younger woman.

"Yes?"

"Is...is there any way I could ever repay you? I know you doubt me now, and I don't begrudge you for that. Any sane person _should_ doubt me, but you've done me a great service." Regina's hand twitched, as if she briefly considered reaching out to touch Ruby.

"Yeah. You can repay me by giving me no reason to doubt you by keeping your promise."

"I can do that," she assured gently.

"Regina? How...did you know that I knew where she was?"

The mayor regarded her with a small, wry smile. "Let's just call it intuition, dear." Her eyes sparkled mischievously, but held no threat.

"Fine. Keep your secrets. I think, if you don't mind, that this evening has come to a close?"

"I daresay it has." Both women stood up from the kitchen floor, and Regina quietly plucked the bag of coffee from the counter, handing it over to her guest. "Ruby? I... I hope I didn't make you feel...used. Before my rather tactless attempt at information, I was surprisingly enjoying myself. If you don't feel too off put by the events of this evening..."

"Just give me a call. You know how to find me." Ruby's smile was warm and inviting, and Regina couldn't fight the rush of gratitude that she felt for the girl.

They both walked in companionable silence to the front door, and Regina quietly extracted Ruby's coat from the closet for her. The mayor reached past her young friend to flip the lock, and, for once, she didn't feel threatened or at risk of an episode while being so close to another. She felt the moist heat of tears pricking the corners of her eyes, but she was able to blink them back.

"Until next time, Ruby," she said gently.

"Most definitely, Regina. I'll see you around."

Ruby slipped through the door, and strode almost confidently down the front path to her car. Yep. That was definitely a night to remember. Regina watched the woman whom she wondered might be her newest friend leave before quietly closing the door, putting the lock into place and letting out a long, confused sigh.

 _"I am so proud of you, Regina."_ came the warm tenor of a voice she spent lifetimes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com and another huge shout out to my best beta, Jasmine! You can find her at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com If you have any questions, comments or concerns, do not hesitate to ask! I love hearing from you all! <3


	29. Just Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina are confronted with some truths about their situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, but I will warn you of impending feels! I know you're all expecting Emma and Regina to meet again for the first time since the attack, but you'll have to wait just a liiiiittle longer! It's coming! I promise! Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews and follows! I have the best readership ever, and I want to give all of you a GIANT hug! <3

"Daniel..." Regina whispered, feeling the air grow slightly warmer.

_"Of course, darling. I am right here."_

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, a sign that the man she longed to touch was standing right behind her. She didn't turn to face him, instead standing in the dimly-lit foyer, staring at the door that Ruby had disappeared behind moments before.

"I missed you," she whispered softly.

 _"I never left you."_ His voice was always warm, but she detected the hint of sadness in his words.

"Then why only show yourself occasionally? Why not stay in my sights forever? Like it was supposed to be... Like we should have been..." She stared despondently ahead of her, still keeping her gaze on that white door.

_"Doing so would be cruel, Regina. You could never have me truly in this state. You could never touch me, and I could never hold you as you need. I could never be anything but a talking shadow. A desperate reminder of what you had, and what you lost. I can no more fill the hole in your heart than I can touch the living. It would only serve to harm you more."_

"And taunting me with your ghost of a presence is somehow less painful?" she snapped, finally whipping around to face him. She always loved how tall he was, but right now she despised the fact that she could see through his translucent form.

_"Even the dead can be selfish. One never completely stops being human. Seeing you-"_

"Broken," Regina interjected.

 _"Lost on this new path that you're treading. There are times when I cannot bear to let you alone. Not while I can help guide you to where you need to go."_ A sad smile touched his handsome face, and Regina felt her untouched cheek tingle as his hand stretched out toward it.

"Why can't you come back to me, Daniel?" Regina's lip wobbled dangerously, and she was starting to feel the emotional toll of her confrontation with Ruby stack up against her resilience. The ache in her chest from talking to her lost love was more exhausting than she remembered, and her brain rebelliously contemplated just crashing on the ground below. She simply had no strength.

Daniel must have seen, and his brow furrowed with concern. _"Follow me, love."_

"Where?"

 _"You need air,"_ he stated tenderly, walking away from her. She helplessly followed him through to the back of the house. He stepped through the glass of the sliding door that led to the back yard. Trembling hands unlocked it, slid it open and she slipped through.

Daniel was sitting on a bench, overlooking the whole back area, all neatly groomed, but the plants and trees were showing signs of winter's fast approach - as was the sharp bite in the cold evening air. She moved to sit on his right, both of them staring out in silence.

 _"Feeling a little better out here?"_ he said in little more than a whisper.

"Yes," she answered just as softly.

 _"You were never meant to be caged, trapped under a veil of shame and hurt. You were always happiest out where the air moved, because you were able to feel freedom in the open, Regina. Somehow, I knew that never changed about you."_ She could hear the hint of a smile on his face, knowing that he was thinking of days when that would have mattered for them both.

The brunette moved her hand to rest on his thigh, but it slipped through empty air, fingers coming to stop against the cold planks of the bench. They tingled in his presence. "Why couldn't you come back to me? Why did all of our past have to happen?" Regina tilted her head slightly in his direction, but kept her gaze fixed on a patch of grass not too far in front of them. She knew that if she looked, her eyes would only linger on the bloody hole that was ever-present in Daniel's chest.

_"It was not our destiny."_

"I don't want destiny," she spat bitterly. "I want you. I want our love. I want the future that was stolen from us." Regina sighed heavily. "Destiny has destroyed the happiness of far too many."

 _"If it was our future, Regina, we would be somewhere else. I have no idea where, and I don't care where_ we _would be, but it would be somewhere where_ we _are together. That wasn't the course of our love. I mourn that every day. I wish for nothing more than to be reunited with you..._

_"If it was our future... Well, I could go on for eternity with all of the ifs in my heart, but that will never be. Our love wasn't fated to last. It wasn't written that we endure like all of the fabled loves of our world, our history."_

Regina let out a choked sob. "Why are you saying these things?"

_"Haven't you ever wondered, love?"_

"What our future would have been like? Gods know, I've dreamt of it every night of my existence."

 _"That's not what I was referring to,"_ he stated simply. Regina chanced a glace up at his face, and it continued to hold that sorrowful smile. But his eyes...they still looked right into Regina, and disarmed her to the soul the way they always did since the moment they met.

"Tell me, then, Daniel. What have I never wondered about?" The question felt like it should have been on the offensive, but it came out with gentle curiosity instead.

_"You remember what the Dark One told you in the hospital? How being cut off from your True Love causes madness? How it is a slow process in our land?"_

"I was Evil, Daniel. Not mad." Her words were clipped, lips pinched in annoyance.

_"Ever wondered why you never went mad?"_

Regina's heart skipped a beat - or three. "N-No... I never did."

_"It was your destiny, Regina. Another was already destined to be in your future. Rumplestiltskin knew that long before you ever cast the Curse. He saw her in your future. In some ways, twisted ones, but still, he helped bring her to you."_

"How can you, or anyone, trust a thing that snake says? As for my _destiny_ , are you trying to remind me of what you told me before? That you were only my first love and nothing more?" she snapped viciously.

A warm smile crossed his features, never thrown or bothered by her temper. _"Even a first love can be a True Love, Regina. Ours wasn't meant to endure in this plane, this time, or this universe. But that doesn't mean that you're supposed to forsake love forever. There's another for you."_

"If you're talking about..."

 _"It's okay,"_ he assured with ease. _"You can say her name."_

"I...don't want to," Regina whispered weakly. She shivered in the cold that had seeped through her thin clothing.

_"Running from those two words will only give them power over you. Saying them, owning them, gives you the power."_

"I never wanted power, Daniel."

 _"This is a different kind of power. This is strength. And the ability to face your demons. Don't let them keep you forever, darling."_ His voice, though quiet, was strong and emboldening, and they soaked right into her heart.

Regina huffed out a sigh, biting the inside of her lip, glaring in frustration. "How can you be okay with...E-Emma..Swan? Sh-she _hurt_ me! Badly... And now I'm nothing but my fear and my pain! And I just want to hurt her back. Not only because she hurt me, but...by doing so, she hurt Henry too."

_"I will never try to justify her actions, Regina. However, she was scared, and thought that you had tried to murder her. You know better than most what fear and anger does when you're backed into a corner."_

"I... I know. And part of me cannot blame her for exactly that reason. I did that to her. I wasn't..."

_"You weren't honest with her. You weren't honest, because you were afraid."_

"Daniel? I...felt like I was disloyal to you, when I kissed her. I felt as though I was tossing you away." Regina wiped away fresh tears that were trekking down her cheeks.

_"You felt guilty. There was no reason to, my love. You did what I wanted you to do."_

"How can you say that?! Is nothing ever my own choice? My own doing?" The brunette looked fiercely into his eyes, challenging him, her hands clenched into tight fists.

 _"Seeing you anguish over my death every day has been nothing but torture for me. You_ know _that I desire nothing more than that your happiness was born of our love...but it's not. If you want me to truly rest in peace, Regina, I need to see you happy. Even if it's with another."_

"How could _Emma Swan_ be my True Love? I'm the Evil Queen! We're supposed to wage war with one another. That is our destiny! Not kisses, and affection, and...anything that was supposed to be _ours_ , Daniel."

 _"Emma was cold, while she was cursed,"_ he started pensively, redirecting the conversation purposefully. _"Except-"_

"Except when I kissed her," Regina finished softly.

 _"She's still cold, Regina,"_ he told her with soft but firm words.

"Why?" She couldn't prevent the concern that managed to bleed into her voice. Daniel smiled at that.

_"You couldn't give Emma True Love's Kiss. You two don't have that yet. So you were able to wake her, but not banish the curse completely from her flesh. It will always linger in her skin. Unless..."_

"I know what you're saying, Daniel. But...why her? Why me? I'm-"

_"Afraid. That's okay. Fear is human, Regina. You're the strongest woman I know. You will find your strength when you need it. You always do. I'm not asking for you to be ready for anything right now. Just...just remember the way you felt when you saw her eyes open."_

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma was sitting on her butt near the fire, legs stretched out in front of her, bottoms of her feet pressed together. She was leaning back on her palms, trying to resist scratching at the rough, itchy scabs streaking her face. For a few superficial claw marks, they were really taking their sweet time to heal.

She shivered violently again with cold, and a small part of her brain joked that all of the shuddering was going to give her muscles extra definition from all of the involuntary flexing. The almost empty bottle of Jack stood near her right hand. Ruby left it, seeing that there was only a minute amount remaining. Emma had been torn between finishing it off or just dumping the rest of it. A fresh wave of shame bubbled uncomfortably in her stomach at the fact that she still kept the stuff. At that moment, though, 'just in case' didn't seem like a good enough reason to hang on to the last few drops.

The blonde thudded heavily onto her back, pinching her eyes shut against the throbbing headache pounding behind her eyes. Why couldn't Ruby have brought a bottle of Ibuprofen with her? Maybe something even stronger... She huffed out a frustrated breath at her weakness, covering her eyes with shaky fingers. Was she really so incapable of dealing with this torrent of...whatever she was feeling when she was sober? It had been far too many years since she'd had to drown herself in alcohol and self-medication to escape the demons lurking in her shadow. Why then, did it come to her as a surprise when she learned that this attempt to do the same yielded identically poor results?

The air felt slightly warmer, and Emma knew it wasn't from the fire. "You're really bad at listening to when a woman doesn't want you," she grumbled, not taking her hand from her eyes.

 _"I'm dead, Emma. I don't have to listen. And right now, as much as you hate accepting help from others, you need it."_ Graham's voice was strong, and she could hear the conviction in his tone.

"Help? With what? How can _you_ help? You're dead, like you said. I'm about as screwed as I can be right now. I'm a fucking fugitive. I'm still covered in puke. I can't get my head to focus on anything, which means I'm probably going crazy. Henry hates me. And...I abused Ruby's trust. So tell, how the hell do I make it through this shitstorm?" Something in her chest loosened slightly after the tumble of admissions.

_"Getting it out is good, isn't it? If I let you be-"_

"Are you dead because of me," Emma asked abruptly, sitting up on her elbows. Graham was crouching near her on her left, and the deep, flickering glow of the fire passed right through him.

His brow furrowed with a look of contemplative sadness. _"No, Emma. You're not responsible for my death. Choices were made that night, but none of them rest on your shoulders."_

"It doesn't feel that way," she mumbled softly.

_"It's the past now. And there's nothing we can change about it. We can only change how we look at it."_

"You're still dead..."

_"You're still blunt."_

"You weren't that much more subtle than me." For the first time in days, a small, fleeting smile tugged at her mouth, allowing herself to enjoy their childish banter. Graham rewarded her with one of his own.

 _"How long are you going to be here, Emma?"_ And just that quickly her mood blackened again.

"I don't know!" she snapped. "Why does everyone need answers? Why does everyone expect crap from me? My life was easier when nothing was permanent. When people wanted too much from me, I could just leave." Emma said bitterly, tossing a glare at the small fire.

_"Look me right in the eyes, and tell me that you were happier that way. Because I don't think you can."_

"Oh yeah, how could I also forget how everyone thinks they know me better than I do? And that they know what's best for me, or what I should be doing better or different. And you know what? It only serves to remind me of my failures and shortcomings."

_"I knew you couldn't do it."_

"Oh fuck off. Now you're just being an asshole," Emma said frostily.

 _"And you're just the picture of politeness."_ he calmly pointed out.

"I don't remember you being this much of a jerk when you were alive."

_"Death has a way of shifting around the lines you can and can't cross. I've seen your punches. Being without a true body means I'll never have to feel them."_

"Sometimes not feeling is better than..." she drifted off, her eyes focused on something in the distance. She blinked once, then turned to face him. "Why are you back here? Haven't I been through enough? Now I'm literally being haunted?" Emma's tone was weary, and she flopped back onto the floor, her messy locks fanning out in a tangled halo around her head.

 _"And I've died. I think I've got a little more on you,"_ he said with an easy chuckle.

"I wish you weren't..." she whispered more to herself than to her companion. "Can I ask about something you said? It's been bugging me for days now."

 _"I'm amazed you can remember anything I said. I thought you would've blacked out after all of that."_ He gestured lightly to the lone bottle of whiskey nearby.

"I've had the blessing and the curse of never blacking out, no matter how drunk I am."

_"Not sure if I should call you lucky or not. What did you want to ask?"_

"You...you said 'What if Regina can't kill you?' What does that even mean?"

 _"Do you really think she tried to kill you, Emma?"_ His question was steady, but Emma knew she was about embark on a conversation that she would much rather run from.

"I ate a stupid pastry _she_ gave me, _just as I was trying to leave town!_ And then I went into a fucking coma! I mean, Henry even warned me that it was poisoned. Sounds an awful lot like murder to me." Emma was back up on her elbows again, giving Graham a challenging glare.

_"How did you feel when you got your memory back? And I mean really feel...deep down under the layers of yourself that you're afraid to confront."_

"I felt..." She swallowed, her tongue thick and dry. She chewed on her lip for a minute, trying to delay answering, but she could feel Graham's eyes on her. "Afraid...I felt afraid. F-for myself and for Henry."

_"Ever thought that Regina felt a similar fear?"_

"Regina? Afraid? That's bullshit."

_"You love Henry, yes?"_

"More than I ever thought I could love the kid."

_"Regina loves him too, Emma. Deeply."_

"Are you trying to say that she loves him more? That I-" But Graham stopped her angry tirade before it got going.

 _"Not at all. But...Regina was Henry's mother for_ ten years _. Then you show up on the heels of the son she'd spent a decade cultivating love and life for, and you threaten the future she made. Put yourself in her shoes, Emma. Wouldn't you be scared? Wouldn't you be willing to fight and take as many risks as you could to keep your son?"_

"Are you fucking _defending_ her? SHE TRIED TO KILL ME! WHICH, IN TURN HURTS HENRY! HOW IS THAT OKAY?!" Emma staggered to her feet, stumbling to support herself against the wall near the hearth. Graham seemed completely unmoved and unsurprised by the blonde's outburst.

_"I will never condone Regina's actions. But you cannot stand by and pretend that you're an innocent victim in this whole story either."_

"She deserved it!" Emma retorted acidly.

_"Doesn't mean she deserved to get it."_

"But...!"

_"You just said that Regina's attempted murder hurts Henry. How are your actions exempted from that? Did I not just tell you that Regina was Henry's mother for ten years?"_

"And he loathed her!"

 _"Loathing doesn't mean he'd be okay with his mother dying. Loathing doesn't mean hate, Emma. He loves her too; he just didn't know how to interpret how he viewed her. Listen to what you're saying! Are_ you _trying to justify the harm you caused Regina?"_

"Now we're even!"

 _"It's not about getting even, Emma! It's about doing what's right!"_ Graham's voice hardened, and the temperature in the room spiked briefly.

"There we go again," Emma said, flailing her arm out. "Someone's telling me what I've got to do! What I've got to be, and how I've fucked up AGAIN! You don't think I don't know that? I did something HORRIBLE! I caused another human being genuine physical, and probably mental harm! I laid my hands on that woman, and I fucking sunk to her level! Worse, actually! I WAS AN ANIMAL BACK THERE!" Emma slid down the wall, hot tears splashing down her face, irritating some of the scabs.

"H-How do I ever...at-tone for th-that?" She peered bleary-eyed up at Graham, begging him for answers. He responded with a warm, full smile, and her breath hitched, caught off-guard by its presence.

_"Welcome back, Emma."_

"W-What? I d-don't under-stand."

_"You've shown your true feelings, instead of veiling them with crass insults, booze and deflection. You've owned up to a truth you've been avoiding."_

The blonde's skin prickled, and she felt Graham squat in front of her, less than a foot from her teary face. "Still feel like shit..." she sniffled, wiping her nose along her wrist.

 _"Emma? What do you remember seeing when you woke up?"_ He asked the question slowly, as if voicing those words might set her off like a rabid beast.

She scrunched her face up in concentration, shivering slightly. She shrugged in a non-committal way. "I think I remember Regina trying to smother me with a pillow or something. Once she saw I was awake, she turned tail and booked it like her ass was on fire."

_"I don't have your super power, Emma, but I was sheriff for a lot longer than you, and I know you're lying. Tell me what you really saw."_

She glowered darkly at him, her face souring like a child's when caught in a lie. "Fine," she huffed out. "I saw...Regina. I saw Regina Mills. Over me..."

_"And...?"_

"And..." Emma crossed her arms, ever the stubborn woman she was reputed to be. "And she was...smiling, I think. Her hands were...I felt _warm_." A deep frown settled across her face. "Then she left, and the cold set in..."

Graham took in the confused look on the woman's face. Oddly enough, that confusion gave him hope. That confusion gave him hope, because it wasn't anger, or contempt, or hatred, or any emotion carrying ill intent. It was surprisingly human; a refreshing thing after seeing the blonde reduced to something less than that.

_"Good, Emma. You've done great today."_

"I'm not some dog you can pat on the head for good behavior," came the petulant response.

_"Act like a dog, get treated like a dog."_

"Fuck you, I'm not a dog, jackass. Besides, weren't you the one chasing after wolves?"

 _"Chasing one doesn't make me one,"_ he teased. _"I think I've pestered you enough for the day..."_

"If that's pestering, I don't want to know what comes after that. Your bark is just about as bad as your bite..."

_"You need rest, and time to think. Try not to procrastinate too long, Emma. Facing the truth is a powerful thing, and your time to do so is dwindling rapidly."_

The blonde didn't get a chance to respond to that because he vanished, leaving the air colder again. She groaned, scrubbing her fists into her eyes. She was definitely going crazy. That much was certain. Emma's stomach twisted tightly at the implication of Graham's parting words. Things would be a lot easier if people - or ghosts - would just be straight with her. But then...wasn't that all that Graham was asking of her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Emma/Graham half of this chapter was kind of a rough read, and I apologize for that. I had a difficult time getting it out, but I promise the next chapter will flow better! Again, feel free to find me on Tumblr at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com And another HUGE shout out to my best beta, Jasmine! You can find her fantastic self at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	30. Hello, Miss Swan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finally makes it to the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I only sort of apologize for the delay this time. This chapter is another one of those crucial moments in the story, and I needed to get it absolutely right. So, for all of you, I took my time. I wasn't sure how to write it, but I think I got it down :] As always, reviews are motivators and let me know where you all are at with the story! Enjoy!

Regina Mills sat in the driver's seat of her Benz. It was sitting in her driveway, and the keys hung limply in the ignition. She wasn't ready to turn them just yet. Her fingers were curled painfully tight around the steering wheel, her palms cold and sweaty. She stared rigidly ahead of her, eyes wide and unmoving, tendons in her neck straining as she struggled to keep her breathing regular, but it was no use.

She took short, irregular pants through her nose, which was stinging as a result of the threat of tears. The muscles in her jaw worked furiously from all of the repetitive clenching, thoroughly irritating the tender gum around her loose tooth. The tension, which rippled through her body and pulled all of her muscles taut like hardened steel, made every ache and every bruise shriek like a scared toddler, but none of that seemed to register in her choked mind.

It was like some sort of blind haze that had taken over her brain late that morning when she finally decided that it was time to pay the blonde a visit. She could barely remember any coherent thoughts taking place as she got herself dressed and ready, her mind almost running on auto-pilot in a very familiar, practiced routine. It wasn't until the snapping of her car door slamming shut that the brunette broke from whatever had taken hold of her mind and body.

The reality of what she was attempting to do crashed with violent abandon around her, and the minutes ticked by. She sat there, stiff as a board but still quivering as violently as if she had a fever's chill. Her breath continued to come in more rapidly uneven breaths, and it was apparent that Regina was fighting a losing battle for control.

Hot tears jumped down her face, ruining the delicate application of mascara and eyeliner that she donned that morning. Wrenching her fingers open, Regina slammed her palms against the steering wheel with a wet grunt of frustration. Her left had feebly tried to soothe the bare, damaged flesh of her throat, but, like any other bruise, it only ached more intensely with the pressure she applied.

Regina's body shook harder with renewed sobs, followed by thick, mucusy coughs. What good could possibly come of seeing Emma? She could hardly handle any thoughts regarding the blonde... What made her think that she wouldn't just shatter into so many pieces she'd be completely irreparable the moment she laid eyes on that infernal woman? Or what if the blonde decided to finish the job once she saw Regina? After all, they would be completely alone near the outskirts of the town. Who would call 911 this time?

Regina coughed wetly again, sloppily wiping away the runnels of tears channeling down her face. So used to the sting in her cheek when touching or moving it too much was she that she didn't even show the slightest hint of discomfort when rubbing her fingers over the swollen flesh. Regina gulped in shuddering gasps of air, clutching her hands at the back of her head, fingers grazing the gash on her temple that still oozed blood semi-regularly. She winced at that slice of pain shooting from the torn skin.

She could sit there for hours, trying to hold herself together, running through the thousands of what-ifs, conjuring hundreds of reasons to flee the car for the safety of the mansion, but Regina had a traitorous mind. It reminded her that most situations got better with space, patience, and time. However, she couldn't fight the nagging suspicion that this simply wasn't one of those cases. The longer she idled, the longer she would stew and fester, the longer Henry's depression would last - and probably deepen. The longer she waited, the longer she remained defeated. Regina Mills hated to lose.

The brunette angrily punched the steering wheel with her fisted hand, and she hissed loudly. Not from any physical discomfort, but in pleasure. She brought her smarting knuckles to her lips, as though reverently kissing the hand of a god. _She_ gave herself that pain. _She_ controlled the application of force. No one else. Emma didn't do that. Rumple didn't. Snow didn't. Cora didn't. That was her own decision, and she relished it, noticing her sobs rapidly ebbing away. The only person whose mercy she was at was herself. Emma didn't control her. Not then, not now, not ever.

Not willing to let this small bubble of confidence go to waste, Regina groped at the ignition for her keys, twisting them until the Benz's engine purred to life. She slammed the vehicle into reverse, knowing that the moment she pressed her foot down on the pedal was the moment she wouldn't be able to turn back. It was time to say hello to Emma Swan.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina huffed in irritation as she was jostled around in the seat. The car was barely going 25mph thanks to the dozens of potholes and protruding stones on the narrow, unpaved road she was traveling. If only she had Mr Nolan's truck at the moment; unsightly as it may be, it would've traversed the terrain with ease. She swayed to the side again as the Benz dropped into another pit.

Perhaps it was fortunate that the mayor's temper was quick to flare, and she refused to be thwarted by a road. In all of her irritation, eye-rolling, and concentrating on not having a tire pop off, she was forgetting to be an unholy amount of anxious as she crept toward her quarry. In fact, she was so completely engrossed in the immediate mission of surviving this coarse road that she didn't instantaneously react when the small cabin and yellow bug entered her line of sight.

Brown eyes took a fleeting glance up at the familiar VW parked behind the tiny building before absorbing the road again. Before she had a chance to regain control of her body, Regina felt her eyes snap wide open with terror, both feet slamming on the brakes, her back crashing into the seat, arms locked straight. It was as if she thought she could scoot herself away in a hasty retreat in that moment. The Benz halted promptly, and, once again, tears flooded her eyes.

Regina was hyperventilating again, as she moaned, "No, no, no, no, no..." over and over again into her hands between teary gasps. If she thought leaving the house this morning felt real, it was nothing compared to the dread and horror that was gripping her like iron bands around her constricted chest.

Emma no longer resided in some imaginary hideout, far away from her and Henry. She was there, inside that little shack. She was in a tangible location; one in which Regina now also resided. A few feeble drops of water speckled her windshield, letting her know that the clouded sky had no intentions of teasing either. She was still panting heavily, hands clasped tightly on the lapels of her black blazer, blinking back tears from her already swollen and stinging eyes.

Her legs were still rigidly holding the brake pedal in place as she glanced frequently in her rear-view mirror. She _still_ had the option to turn around. Emma still seemed unaware of her arrival, and Regina could go, leaving the other woman none the wiser. She could leave the blonde to rot, for all she cared. But...Emma might come back, and a whole catastrophic shitstorm would rain down in the middle of her town. Out here... Well, at least the shitstorm can rage in seclusion.

The brunette took a deep breath of air, expelling with it all of the tension holding her body hostage. She finally felt her elbows bend, her arms no longer locked, and her feet lessened the pressure on the pedal, allowing the Benz to inch forward. She parked it next to the bug, killing the engine, but remaining in the car. She needed a few minutes. Tears were still leaking down her face, and her nose was all plugged and runny.

The woman needed to compose herself, and fast. She found her arm groping in the back seat until her fingers closed around her little protector. She dragged his squashy form to her chest, holding him tight, burying the un-bruised side of her face into his soft mane. She couldn't explain this hold he had on her, but like a child seeking comfort during a thunderstorm, Stuffles brought peace to the tempest on the warpath within her. Regina pressed a lingering kiss into the crown of his fuzzy head, inhaling his comforting scent in the process.

It was time. The woman gently set the little lion down in the passenger seat. She swiped the errant tears away, fixing her hair with a quick fluff. She didn't come out there to run away. No, that's what Emma did; she ran and tried to force away her problems. However, Regina was the one problem she couldn't escape. The brunette tentatively opened her door, as if expecting there to be no air outside. Her feet came down onto damp, muddy gravel, and the equally moist air wrapped its chilly fingers around her. She was outside. The only thing left to do was let herself in.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina walked quietly around to the front of the cabin. She only knew of this place thanks to the intimate knowledge of her town that came with the Curse, but she'd never personally been. If she didn't know of the woman waiting inside, she might have thought it kind of charming, despite it being basic and somewhat primitive. The overlook on the little lake was something the mayor could definitely appreciate - if she had the time and desire to, of course.

The brunette found herself facing the door, and being a manner-bred lady, she had the briefest inclination to knock. But that would be respectful and playing fair, and it was obvious that Emma abided by neither of those qualities. There was no reason for her to take the high road at this point. The loathsome woman had put the ball in her court with the final words she spoke before running like the coward she was.

            _Your move._

Regina took a steadying breath, preparing to do just that. She grasped the doorknob, twisting it, breathing a sigh of relief when she found it to be unlocked. The door swung open with an audible creak, and she stood in the entrance, waiting for Emma to see her and react. But that wasn't quite the case.

The first thing to hit the brunette's sensitive nose was the smell; the whole area of the cabin positively reeked of stale booze and fermenting vomit. It was the exact odor that she imagined was permanently ingrained in Leroy's home. The puddles of sick that had so pungently greeted her were all in plain sight, most of them by the shabby little cot that apparently passed as a bed.

Emma was sitting on the floor, directly in front of her, facing the dying fire smoldering in its little fireplace. She could tell that the blonde's knees were drawn up close to her chest, ankles crossed, bare arms wrapped tightly around her shins. The only indication she gave of noticing Regina's arrival was the slight turn of her head to the right. Strange.

Regina took one step into the shack before she was greeted with a raspy voice that didn't sound anything like Emma's usual, cocky drawl. "Ruby. Didn't expect you back so soon. You're quiet. Come to bring more bad news? 'Cause if you have, I don't wanna hear it."

Regina instantly became incensed. _Emma's_ sick of bad news? What gave her the _right_ to feel like she deserved any ounce of reprieve from any of the pain she might be feeling? She's been holed up, on the run, clearly falling deeply into alcoholism. It's all she ever did, and all she ever seemed good for. _Running._ She's running from her problems, she ran from Regina, from the truth, from Henry, from her whole goddamned life.

The anger that was quickly swelling in her chest felt good, no...great. Anger was something she could handle, and she knew exactly how to wield it to her advantage. Anger was her constant friend, not this pathetic fear she had been feeling over a broken woman. Seeing Emma sitting on the floor, limp hair greasy and tangled, dressed in unwashed clothing, sitting in a vomit-covered hovel made Regina realize one thing: Emma Swan wasn't a threat. Not here. Not this time.

She walked slowly and softly up behind the blonde, crouching down to her level, feeling a wealth of power again for the first time since The Attack. She brought her lips close to the sheriff's ear, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the odor rolling off of the woman. She quickly slipped her mask back into place, preparing to reveal her identity.

"Miss Swan," she purred in the silkiest voice she could possibly muster.

Emma's girlish shriek of terror, leaping ten feet from her skin, and scrambling across the floor until her back hit the wall all came as no surprise to the brunette, who calmly stood, observing Emma with the sneer she usually reserved for the woman.

The Savior's panicked eyes took in her uninvited guest. Regina was standing, hands resting in a relaxed grip on her hips; tall as ever in those bitchy heels she always wore. Her slate-blue blouse tucked neatly into the waist of her crisp, black slacks. Three buttons open, as always. And that was where Emma's eyes were helplessly fixated: Regina's collar.

All the purpled bruises - some now tinged with a yellow-ish green - were almost proudly on display. Emma could make out long slashes of blemished flesh that would match up perfectly with her own slender fingers. She could see two dark, splotchy ovals over Regina's windpipe where she had tried to crush it with her thumbs. Her fists clenched at the memory of undulating muscle and tendons flexing helplessly under her own hands.

Emma's gaze tracked up to Regina's cool expression, taking in the state of her face. Her left cheek was still very visibly swollen, the puffed up skin making Emma's stomach lurch with nausea. It wasn't just that it was swollen that really got the blonde's attention, it was the bruise that covered it as well. In fact, the state of that bruise was, in some ways, even more disturbing to look at than the one's on the brunette's delicate neck.

Having gotten into enough fights and scuffles in her day, Emma knew the charming effect that gravity had on deep hematomas. The blood didn't just stay pooled over Regina's bulging cheek; it traveled. Down. There were long streaks of purpling blood that stretched down her face. She saw the longest of them disappear under her jaw line, and it gave the appearance that the mayor's face was, in some way, melting horrifically. Emma's stomach took another nasty lurch.

She saw the pucker of skin around the black scab prominently adorning Regina's lips, which were lacking their usual saucy slash of red lipstick. It didn't take her much longer afterward to notice that the brunette had her styled locks pulled back from her temple on the left side of her face, a look that Emma instantly knew she'd never seen on the mayor before. Her gaze sought out the ugly abrasion bordering on her hairline, surrounded by a halo of more yellow-green bruising. The gash was rough, and she saw the reddish-brown crusts of dried blood. All Emma could think when seeing it was how it really needed stitches.

"Admiring your work, Sheriff?" Regina continued staring Emma down with that confident, triumphant sneer.

"Oh shit. Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Emma muttered under her breath at a constant rate. Regina's devilish smile only grew.

"Something wrong, dear? I would _hate_ for you to feel in any way put upon." The mayor's simpering, sweet tone should have made Emma angry. It should have made her want to fight back, retort in some way. Instead, the blonde merely felt her blood run cold. Colder than she'd ever felt, even since she woke up with her permanent chill thing. She felt genuine fear for her life. Out here, where no one would come to save her, where no one would hear her screams, where no one could shout at Regina to stop. Out here, alone in the woods with the mayor, Emma felt royally screwed.

If only she had her handcuffs, the blonde thought dismally to herself. Then she'd be able to wrestle Regina to the ground, cuff her, throw her in the back of the bug, dump her in the woods near town, and book it from Storybrooke entirely. Okay, so that was a super shitty plan, but it would have bought her time. She didn't have her cuffs, but she _did_ have...

Emma whipped her pistol out from where she kept it tucked in the back of her jeans, hidden under the hem of her tank. She pointed it directly at Regina, hands shaking, breathing heavily. The brunette cackled softly at the weapon trained on her.

"Going to shoot me, Sheriff? Going to finish the job?" She cocked a challenging eyebrow at her.

"Go away, Regina!" Emma hated the way her voice cracked.

"Or what? What can you _possibly_ do to me that you haven't already done?"

"I can still shoot you!" Her palms were sweaty against the handle, and she was doing a pretty good job of fighting back the tears that were threatening to cloud her vision.

"Can you? Is that how you like to do things, Sheriff? Shooting the dogs while they're down?" Her eyes steadily bore into Emma's, her mouth puckered into more of a look of intensity than a sneer at this point.

"Regina! I am _not_ fucking around right now!" Emma's shout was undermined by the terrified squeak that slipped into the last word. She was losing ground, and fast.

In a flash, Regina was suddenly right in front of her, right in her personal space. Instinctively, Emma's arm bent, solidly planting the pistol underneath the brunette's jaw. Both women could feel the cold metal trembling in the blonde's uncertain grip. Another smirk split across Regina's face when she felt the gun there, while her face lingered inches from the Savior's.

"Prove it. Your move," she whispered into Emma's parted lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehehehehehe you can blame that cliffhanger on my deliciously-evil Beta, Jasmine, whose Tumblr can be found here: obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and I can be found at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com I love you all, and I should get the followup chapter up sooner than I did with this one!


	31. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than a few things are brought into the open between Emma and Regina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys are all so wonderful, I am rewarding you with this early update, just like I promised! I can't tell you how much fun I had with this chapter! It all came out onto the page so easily, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. As always, comments are highly encouraged, and I try to respond to any concerns you all bring up, so don't be shy! Enjoy!

Emma clenched her jaw, swallowing thickly. She stared unblinkingly into Regina's fierce brown eyes, but what she saw startled her. The intensity there never surprised Emma, but she noticed, being so close to the mayor, was that those angry eyes were bloodshot, slightly swollen and her lack of makeup pointed out how red-rimmed the flesh around there was. Regina Mills had been _crying._

A tremble washed through the blonde's body, which the brunette felt in the shake of the pistol still under her jaw. _What have I done? What am I_ doing _?_ Emma thought with absolute horror. Regina remained quite still, simply waiting for any sort of response. Exactly what the woman was hoping to achieve, the sheriff certainly couldn't tell. Just like all the other times, she had no idea what Regina was angling for, and it frustrated Emma to no end.

She leaned in just a little closer to the mayor, their lips almost touching now, and she breathed right into that waiting mouth, "No," then pulled the gun away and let it fall to the ground with a heavy _clunk_.

Regina's eyes opened slightly wider, the only indicator betraying her surprise. The older woman stepped back out of Emma's space, regarding her with hard scrutiny, trying to discern her motives. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"You were baiting me. Whatever sick game you're playing this time, I refuse to be a part of it!" she spat back with hard confidence.

Regina chuckled mirthlessly at that response, and Emma found the brunette's face looked even more monstrous when it contorted out of its blank mask. "Is that how you see things, Sheriff? As a _game?_ Felt like trying to choke the life out of me for fun, did you?"

"No! That's not what I meant!" Emma raked her hands through her hair, and when she pulled them through, the tension pulled back the skin on her face a little, and Regina saw some of the scabs from the scratches on her face crack open. "You're putting words in my mouth! You're twisting things around like you _always_ do!"

"I wasn't the one who called it a game, Miss Swan," Regina said evenly.

"And I wasn't talking about all that shit that went down in your office! I was talking about whatever the hell it is you're playing at here! What did you come for, Regina?"

"Nice to see that you define attempted murder as 'shit that went down,' Sheriff." Regina's expression was steely, and her voice had dropped to a deadly pitch, bordering on a growl.

"And you tried to fucking kill me first, Regina! I was trying to leave! Why couldn't you just take your victory and go?!" Emma's voice held more desperation than she liked, but she didn't dare show any sign of regretting her tone.

"Because it wasn't a victory! You would come back to see him! Again and again! And every time you come, he drifts farther and farther away!" Regina's voice started to lose some of its masterful control, both women rising to the chaos of the situation.

"And that warranted _murder?_ " Emma half-shouted in exasperation.

"It wasn't murder! I can't kill you, Emma!" _It would break the Curse. The imp saw to that,_ Regina thought bitterly. Those words crashed into the blonde like a battering ram made of jagged bricks. "Did you really think Henry would believe I had nothing to do with your death, if you did die? He already thinks I am some sort of villain. Let's face it, Sheriff; you're his hero. If you died, it would only cement his hate for me, and I'd lose my son forever!" Regina said as she began pacing in front of the blonde, always avoiding the stagnating puke-puddles.

Emma just blinked in confusion, Graham's words crashing around her. _What if Regina can't kill you?_ "But...you poisoned me..." she stammered, trying to process the information being tossed her way.

"Did not," Regina said like a petulant child.

"But I was-"

"In a coma, dear. Not a coffin, if you recall." Her voice slipped easily back into control, and, for some reason, that worried Emma.

"But...I woke up?" She frowned.

Regina huffed out a sigh, as if she was talking to a particularly dim member of the human race. "That wasn't really part of the plan. With you in your coma, Henry technically still had you, and I didn't have to deal with your nonsense any longer."

"What woke me up?" Emma was thinking about Regina's face right above hers when she woke up in the hospital bed, and she was praying the brunette would have some sort of reasonable answer to explain away her presence.

"I don't know, Miss Swan." Emma's lie detector quietly pinged, but she chose to ignore it for the time being. "You seem to have a nasty habit of not doing as you're told. I should have expected you to wake eventually," the mayor said matter-of-factly.

"And why, Madame Mayor, were you in my room when I woke up?" Emma asked as calmly as she could.

"To gloat?" Another ping. "Your coma was my victory, after all. Why shouldn't I be there to watch you helpless and unmoving in a hospital bed? It was really quite a satisfying sight, dear."

"Oh God..." Emma whispered under her breath. "Oh, fucking hell..."

Regina merely cocked her head slightly, blinking once, slowly, trying to figure out what conclusions the Savior was coming to. Emma continued to mutter obscenities to herself, eyes darting back and forth in a display of realization. "Something on your mind, dear?" the mayor asked in that falsely-sweet voice of mock concern.

"You...you really didn't try to kill me?" Regina nodded her head no once. "Say it," Emma demanded, needing to get the confirmation of her lie detector.

"I did not try to kill you," she stated somberly. No ping.

"Oh _fuck!_ What have I done? I'm a monster!" The blonde held her shaking hands out in front of her, looking at them as though they were dripping in blood. _Well, they might as well be,_ Regina remarked to herself.

"Someone's finally getting the picture. Took you long enough in your drunken little vacation to figure that out," the brunette sneered.

Emma's temper flared immediately. " _Vacation?_ You think this has been some kind of picnic for me? I have been practically killing myself over what I've done!"

"And I haven't been suffering?" Regina snapped back, gesturing to her injuries.

"You're still living in your home, the whole town is probably on your side, you get to play the helpless victim, _and_ you have Henry!" Emma spewed acidly. "I'm stuck here in this fucking hovel, my son hates me, and I’m a wanted criminal, and-"

Regina scoffed loudly. "You think I have the town on my side? You know what they've been saying when they think I can't hear? They wished you'd finished me off. Done the job properly! I'll be surprised if they don't start cheering for you when you return. And I don't have Henry! We _both_ lost him!"

Emma paled. "Did he...run away or something?" Regina shook her head no again. "Then what do you mean?"

"He's not the young, innocent boy we knew, Miss Swan. He's had an undue burden placed upon him; one that's far too great for him to carry. He's had too much fear and anger brutally thrown his way. No child can bear that unchanged. He's angry all the time now."

"At me." the blonde stated soberly.

"Can you blame him?"

Emma opened her mouth to protest, but no such exclamations were heard. Instead, her shoulders sagged, and she took a couple of steps backward until she hit the wall. "No. I can't."

"It's more than anger, Miss Swan." Regina's tone became quiet, almost sad. When she looked at the blonde, her eyes lost their steely sheen, replaced by something more akin to vulnerability. "He's depressed, and confused. Terribly confused." The brunette took a deep breath, averting her eyes. "He loves you. But-"

"He thinks he should hate me, right? For what I've done?"

"To an extent. It's not so much a matter of hate, but rather, Henry knows what you did was _wrong._ He's trying to weigh your crime against his love for you, and he can't find any sort of balance."

"Love the sinner, hate the sin," Emma said quietly.

"What was that?"

"It's a bible thing, right? You're supposed to love the sinner, but hate the sins that they commit. It's what the kid's trying to do right now, but he doesn't know how yet."

Regina considered the sheriff's words for a moment. "I suppose you're right. At least, that's one way to look at it. However, on top of it all, he's terrified."

"Of what?"

"Too many things, dear. He...Henry looks at me now like a China doll that might shatter at any moment. How can I even begin to parent him properly when he sees me with no strength? He's afraid of you never coming back. He's afraid of you coming back."

"Why would he be scared of me returning?" Emma asked with a frown covering her face.

"He has a lot of anger. Anger that he doesn't know how to negate or channel. He's afraid of what he will say or do to you should you return. He's afraid of never being able to look at you as his White Knight ever again."

"Good!" the Savior spat angrily.

"Excuse me?"

"The kid _should_ look at me differently. He should look at me with disgust, not awe. What I did was-"

"Unforgivable."

"To say the least. And I wouldn't be able to stand it if Henry thought what I did was a good thing, or something."

"And what about what I did to you, Miss Swan? Should you not also want Henry to look upon me through the same lens?"

"Oh please. Don't think I've forgotten or in anyway forgiven you for your little stunt thing, but...death wasn't precisely on your agenda, either. I had it in mind to kill you _in cold blood_ -"

"Henry _did_ hate me for what I did," Regina interrupted softly.

"You used the past tense." Emma bluntly pointed out.

"How uncommonly observant for you, dear." The blonde rolled her eyes at the mayor's sass. "He found a way to forgive me, to an extent. But, there were conditions, of course."

"What conditions?"

"Those are none of your business. You should also know, that seeing me in this state...Henry became unusually protective of me. Like I said, he sees me as broken." She spoke the last word as though it had left a sour taste on her tongue. "It would seem his anger toward your actions against me outweighed his anger toward what I did to you."

"Regina? Do you know what that means?" Emma closed her eyes, unsure as to why she was going to say what she was about to, but, for some reason, it felt necessary.

"By all means, Sheriff. Enlighten me." Regina cocked her brow in impatience.

The sheriff took a deep breath, fixing her eyes on the ceiling, gritting out her words between clenched teeth. "It means that Henry still loves you, if he's going out of his way to defend you." She shifted her glare to the floor between them, jamming her hands in her pockets.

"Of course I know that!" Regina snapped back.

"Then why aren't you taking your little victory? Why aren't you walking off into the sunset with your son and all of his love and affection, hmm?"

"Because! It doesn't feel like a victory," Regina blurted out. Emma watched as her cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of red.

"W-What?" Emma stammered, completely thrown by the other woman's answer.

The brunette worked her jaw furiously for a long moment, infuriated with herself for having slipped up so easily. "I said that I couldn't kill you, Miss Swan." Her voice was much softer than either woman had expected.

"So you've said, and your redundancy is getting us nowhere." Regina leveled her with a look, and Emma obediently clamped her mouth shut.

"Yes, there was a time, quite recently, when I would have gone to the limits of this earth to win back the love of my son. I don't think that it has escaped your notice that I _did_ do so, and, to a point, I have Henry back." Regina fixed the Savior with an insecure gaze. "But at what cost, Miss Swan?"

"What's changed, Regina?" Emma shifted uncomfortably against the wall.

"I don't know." _Ping._ "The change in Henry... This war was between us, but he became the collateral damage. All of this," she gestured between the two of them. "I can no longer say it was worth it."

"Wow," Emma breathed quietly, looking at Regina like she had stated the most profound thing ever to grace the blonde's ears.

"What?" Regina said, flushing even darker.

"Never thought I'd hear you say anything like _that._ " Emma offered up a crooked little smile. Regina rolled her eyes, pursing her lips tightly. The blonde raked her hand through her hair again, chuckling softly to herself.

"What could _possibly_ be funny, Miss Swan?"

"It's just... What a mess we've made," she said lightly, shaking her head while still smirking a little.

"That might be the stupidest thing you've ever said, Sheriff." Emma shot her look. "Certainly the biggest understatement I've ever heard in my entire life." To Emma's complete and utter surprise, Regina chuckled softly as well.

"Thank you, Regina," she whispered earnestly.

"For what, exactly?"

"For not killing me."

"I am not a killer, dear."

"Even though my actions speak to the opposite, I'm not either." She started blinking rapidly, wondering when her eyes decided to start watering.

"Well, seeing as how I'm still alive, even though I am in poorer health than I'd like, I'd say that you're not a killer, Miss Swan." Regina held an even voice, and an even steadier gaze, waiting once more for Emma's response.

The Savior's voice seemed to have gotten stuck in her throat, and she coughed uncomfortably to try and dislodge it. "For...for what it's worth, Regina. I _am_ sorry for what I did." She meant to continue on, laying out every reason as to why she was a miserable piece of shit, and that she didn't ever actually intend to her hurt the brunette; however, all of it felt fake, like stuff that you expect to hear in any generic apology. She figured that just the apology itself without all the extras would be, for now, a good start.

Regina closed the gap between them once more, and Emma gasped quietly. The brunette was just _so_ close again, and she flinched ever so slightly when she felt the backs of warm fingers brush down her frigid cheek. "Apology not accepted," she whispered into Emma's mouth again, her brown eyes boring deeply into Emma's green ones. The blonde took a sharp inhale of breath, feeling a deep wave of warmth rocket through her body.

Swiftly, Regina turned around, striding confidently to the door, and the blonde had absolutely no idea what had just happened. Although, she couldn't really blame the woman for not forgiving her right away. Her brow furrowed when she saw the older woman pause, hand on the doorknob.

Regina turned her head to the right, almost looking over her shoulder, and whispered just loudly enough for Emma to hear, "Yet." Then she was gone, leaving the room feeling too cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, I told you that things would start looking up again for them soon, didn't I? Find me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com and my lovely Beta, who always steers me in the right direction, Jasmine, can be found at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com I have started taking prompts for one-shots, so if you have any interest in seeing me write something potentially fluffy, instead of this MASSIVE BLACK HOLE OF ANGST, drop a prompt in a PM on here or Tumblr :D


	32. Safe to Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby has another interesting night with the town's infamous mayor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently I've had a lot of creative energy on my side lately, and I've been writing like crazy. Lucky for you, here's another early update, and it's a long one! I genuinely enjoyed writing all of the dialogue in this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Thank you all so much for the kind words of support and encouragement! They really give me a great boost! Enjoy!

Ruby flipped the _Open_ sign on the door to the diner promptly at 5:30am, yawning as she did so. Her night had been restless, full of disturbing dreams that she couldn't remember, but she could definitely feel them. The young brunette was left with an anxiousness that seemed to stem from her dreams. A nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that they were most likely about Emma getting hurt in one way or another. Usually at the hands of the mayor.

Ruby desperately wanted to believe in Regina's good intentions. She desperately wanted to believe that Regina would keep her promise to bring Emma no harm. Secretly, she also hoped that her friend would be smart enough to _not_ instigate anything with the mayor this time. Despite seeing the better in those around her, she was only human, and doubts continued to shroud her.

The extra-early morning crowd mostly made up dockworkers, shopkeepers grabbing a cup of Joe to go, and the handful of regular early birds. Normally, Ruby enjoyed the routine of tending to her first round of regulars, but being left on auto-pilot only let her mind wander to the worries she couldn't shake.

Had Regina even gone to see Emma yet? If not, maybe she _should_ go and warn the blonde. But she gave Regina her word. As much as she loved her friend, betraying the trust of a very vulnerable and still quite powerful mayor seemed an unwise choice. What would Regina even say to Emma? How would she even know where to start? Ruby certainly didn't know, and trying to figure it out only made her feel the beginnings of a headache.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

She was busy putting fresh grounds into the coffee machine when she heard the bell over the door tinkle, signaling a new customer. She called over her shoulder that she'd be right with them in a moment. The squeaking of one of the stools at the counter told her where they chose to sit. She hit the switch on the machine, waiting a moment to make sure the water would actually start coming out. The brunette sighed, mentally reminding herself to ask Granny for a new one.

Ruby adopted a welcoming smile before turning to greet her new patron. It was Henry, and her heart dropped immediately. She remembered when he used to come in with a bounce in his step and a cheery greeting for her. Now he had neither, and she watched him picking at his nails for a moment, hating the new frown that seemed permanently carved into his young face.

"Morning, Kiddo," she said, leaning forward on the counter. He grunted at her in response, still fidgeting with his fingers. "Hot cocoa?"

"Sure, I guess." He didn't look up at her.

Ruby shook herself, setting about to make his order, pausing briefly to bring table 7 their orders. Granny got kind of snippy if she didn't bring out the food right away. Once his drink was made, she sprayed extra whipped cream on top, always garnishing it with cinnamon. She slid it in front of him, and went to make her coffee rounds.

When she got back to the boy, it didn't escape her notice that none of the beverage was drunk, and Henry was letting all of the whipped cream melt. She found herself throwing out a lot of hot chocolate lately. That was when she noticed how pale he looked, which threw the shadows under his eyes into sharp relief.

"How're you holding up, Kiddo?" She flashed a gentle smile that he didn't see. Henry only shrugged in response. "You're going to let your cocoa get cold. Better drink it up!" Another shrug. "How's your mom?" she asked non-chalantly. That got his attention. At least, he looked up her.

"Why do you care?" His tone was less than polite.

"Why should I not care?" she countered.

"No one cared about her before, Ruby. Now that she's hurt and everyone thinks Emma's a psycho, she's the subject of their sympathies. I hate it. It's so hypocritical," he grumbled with a matching scowl.

"C'mon, Henry. You know me better than that. Sure, Regina and I weren't exactly best buds, but that doesn't mean I didn't care. And, just for the record, I don't think Emma's a psycho." He shrugged again, but his brows drew together in a look of contemplative confusion. "What's on your mind?"

"Something was different about her this morning..." he mused, and Ruby shifted uncomfortably.

"Good different? Bad different?"

He shrugged for the fourth time, spinning his mug around. "I d'know. Just...different. She still has a hard time looking right at me, and she still won't talk much either. And Mom still looks...y'know... But, there was _something_ in her eyes. I didn't hear her crying last night either." Ruby's eyebrows shot up at that piece of information.

"Well, that's good, right?" She offered a weak smile.

"I suppose. She doesn't think I can hear her, but I can. And last night, I think she just slept. I didn't hear her having any nightmares either." He continued frowning at his cocoa.

"None of this sounds like a bad thing, Kiddo. Maybe she's starting to heal?"

He shook his head no, scratching the side of his face. "No, I don't think that's it. I have no idea what it is, but something's changed. And do you know what the weirdest thing is?"

"She let you have sugary cereal for breakfast?"

"Ha. Ha. No, she told me I could go and hang out with Ava and Nicholas tonight. She even gave me permission to order _pizza!_ "

"Oooooooo!" Ruby cooed in excitement. "Wait, how is any of that weird?"

He shot her a look that said _Seriously?_ It was definitely a look she had seen on Regina many times. "She _never_ lets me doing anything like that. Usually I have to beg her to go out and see someone, and she would never allow me to eat junk food like that. And the weirdest part? _She_ suggested it!"

"Which I'm guessing she also never does."

"Mhm. I can't figure out her angle on this one..."

"Ever thought that maybe she doesn't have one? Maybe she just cares about you?"

"Of course I know she cares about me, Ruby. But this is so out of character for her." He sighed heavily. "Maybe I'm just too used to thinking she's plotting something evil to take the time to think she might just be being my mom."

"Sounds pretty reasonable to me, Kiddo. Maybe she's trying to help you-" Henry shot her a look. "Out of the house?" she covered lamely.

"Do you think she's gonna do something tonight? With me out of the house?"

Ruby squirmed a little more. _Maybe she's going to go and visit Emma,_ her mouth almost blurted. "Didn't you _just_ talk about how you've got to stop thinking about your mom like she's scheming? She's got a lot on her mind, Kiddo. A night to herself might just be what she needs to start sorting it out, y'know?"

Henry shrugged. "I guess. Adults are complicated."

Ruby scoffed in agreement. "Tell me about it. I've got to make my rounds again, and I think you need to head off to school now, right? Want me to put that in a to-go cup?" She pointed at his now luke-warm cocoa.

He wrinkled his nose slightly. "Not today. Thanks for the talk." He slid off the stool, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and slouched out the door.

Ruby scooped up another wasted drink, and added it to the tab she had open just for Henry that Regina paid off every week. So, Regina has either already seen Emma, or she's going to very shortly. Maybe even tonight? Or maybe she's just using her time alone tonight to plan out what she's going to do when she sees Emma? The brunette chastised herself for doing exactly what she had told Henry not to do. Yet, Ruby couldn't help the feeling that it really was about more than just slumber parties and junk food.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Ruby was taking off her apron in the back room, giving Granny a quick kiss on the cheek. She hung up the garment, punched her time card, grabbed her coat, and bolted before anyone could find a reason for her to work over time. She was striding over to her car when she heard her phone ringing. The number on the screen was blocked. Curious, she opened it and answered.

"Hello?"

"Miss Lucas-"

" _Regina?_ Er...I mean, Mayor Mills?"

"Well-spotted, dear." Ruby blushed deeply, glad that the woman on the phone couldn't see her. "I understand you have the night off."

Ruby paused, her car keys jammed into the lock on the car door. "Do I even want to know how you magically know my schedule?"

"It's a small town, Miss Lucas, and it's not as if your hours are kept under lock and key."

The waitress chuckled nervously, slipping into the driver's seat. "Right, duh. So, um, what can I do for you?"

"Do you have any plans for the evening?" Regina's voice sounded a little higher than usual, and it left Ruby wondering if that was due to the phone or not.

"Not unless some ninjas put something in my planner." She grimaced at the stupidity of her line.

"As unique as Storybrooke is, dear, I think we're delightfully lacking in ninjas."

Ruby chuckled nervously again, rubbing the back of her neck. "Why, Madame Mayor, are you asking me on a date?" She slammed her forehead on the steering wheel, wondering where all of the weird word vomit was coming from.

"Still obsessed with the dates I see." Regina's tone was curt, but she could hear the playful teasing behind it. "Are you going to ask me to be your Valentine as well?"

Another nervous giggle spewed from her lips. "I think we're moving a little fast to be talking Valentine's! At least cook me dinner first!"

Regina actually laughed for a moment. "And why am I the one cooking?"

"You kidding me? I work in a diner! It's about time someone waited on me for a change!"

"Are you hungry, dear?"

"Nah, I ate a little while ago on my break." She cringed a little in her seat, realizing that her answer sounded like a rejection.

"Perhaps a glass of wine might tempt you?" The apprehension in her voice wasn't lost on the waitress.

Ruby gasped excitedly, hoping to convey that she didn't think Regina's company undesirable. "Are we going to have another girl's night!"

"If it's not too inconvenient..."

"I'll be right over in a jiffy. Wait. Scratch that, I wanna shower first! I'll be over in, like, 45 minutes."

"I will see you then, Miss Lucas." She heard a click before the line went dead. A sudden realization hit Ruby, and she let out a long, "Ohhhhhhh!" Regina wasn't planning anything to do with Emma tonight. No, she got Henry out of the house so she could invite Ruby over. She breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled out, heading to her apartment.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The young woman walked up to the front of 108 Mifflin, hair still slightly damp and pulled back into a simple ponytail. She wore a deep red, collared, button down that hung somewhat loosely over simple, black leggings. Her boots thudded softly against the stone walkway, and it reminded her a little bit of the way Emma's heavy footfalls sounded.

She took a little breath before knocking and was greeted shortly thereafter by the mayor. Once again, she heard the lock being thrown into place the moment she stepped through the door. She shucked her coat, and Regina automatically pulled it from her grasp, hanging it up in the coat closet.

This gave Ruby the chance to notice some slight differences in her hostess. She still had on a high-collared turtleneck, this one a lovely shade of violet that offset her olive skin beautifully - how many turtlenecks did this woman have anyway? She also immediately noticed that the other woman wasn't wearing nearly as much makeup as last time. Seeing the rather disgusting mix of purples, blues, greens and yellows on her face made Ruby's stomach lurch slightly. However, seeing all the swelling and such with a mask on was somehow more disturbing than seeing the entire ensemble together.

"Good evening," Regina greeted politely once she finished stowing the coat.

"Thanks for taking my jacket," she sheepishly replied.

"Please, come to the living room. I guarantee you it's far more comfortable than the foyer." She motioned for her guest to follow.

Once both women were comfortably seated - Ruby on the sofa and Regina in an armchair adjacent - a slightly awkward silence set it. The young woman looked at the coffee table in front of her. An uncorked bottle of red was standing on it next to a wine glass. Close to Regina's end of the little table was a tall glass of water with a slice of lemon floating in it.

"You're not going to have any wine?" Ruby asked to break the silence.

"I am not allowed any alcohol with the medications I am still taking. Doctor's orders," she lied smoothly.

"A likely story the powerful mayor tells to the young, attractive, innocent waitress to get her drunk and in a state of mind open to suggestion," Ruby teases back.

"Considering how often you bring up sex, dear, I'd say you're hardly innocent," the mayor casually remarked while pouring Ruby a glass.

"Ah, but you at least agree with the young and attractive bit, yes?" She took a sip, watching the other woman's cheeks flush.

"Well, you're most certainly young, dear."

Ruby gave an exaggerated gasp, bringing her hand to her chest. "You mean, you don't think I'm _pretty?_ " She jutted her lip out in a mock pout. "Whatever will I do?"

"Drink more wine?" the older brunette said with a sly smile.

"Yep, definitely trying to get me drunk. By the way, this stuff's pretty good!" She lifted her glass in appraisal.

"I wasn't sure what your tastes were, but I thought a Merlot would go down nicely." She sipped at her lemon water. Regina was completely surprised at how easily their light, playful banter passed between them, but she wasn't sure if that put her any more at ease. Perhaps this was the only form of civil conversation she could have with the girl, and bringing up the heavy topics would only result in another shouting match. Either that, or talking about the difficult things would come just as easily. She hoped for the latter but feared for the former.

"So..." Ruby said after another awkward silence where both women sipped at their drinks just to do something with their hands.

"Um...How're you-"

"I saw her," Regina blurted. Ruby watched the woman turn crimson.

"Is she...?"

"Alive? If her state of being can be termed as such, then yes."

"Her state of being? Did she try and attack you or something?"

Regina snorted with amusement. "Hardly. She's half-dead as is. I doubt she could even swat a fly from the air."

"At least she was sober when you saw her..." the waitress grumbled.

"How bad?"

"You said half-dead, right? When I found her the last time I visited, she was passed out, facedown in a puddle, covered in puke. It was the most ratchet thing I've ever seen!"

Regina cocked a curious brow. "Ratchet, dear?"

"She was a hot mess. If I'm gonna be honest, though...seeing her like that was also one of the scariest things I'd ever seen. I thought I would actually have a dead body on my hands..."

All amusement fell from the mayor's face. "Oh, _that's_ the scariest thing you've ever seen? Poor dear. You must have nightmares all the time. Do you also need a teddy to keep away the terrifying dead sheriff?"

Ruby's face blanched, eyes popping wide. "Regina...I didn't mean..."

"What? Didn't mean to diminish my own suffering?" The older brunette was sitting ramrod-straight, right fist clenched, and left hand shaking around the water glass.

"Regina, seriously! Don't do this!" Ruby pleaded, setting her wineglass down.

The mayor laughed without amusement, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly as she did so. "Don't do what, dear? Express my feelings?"

"No!" she countered hotly. "Turn things around! And, to be honest, your passive-aggressive form of deflection is pretty shitty. We actually started to talk about something that you _clearly_ needed to get off your chest, and then you, I d'know, got scared or something and went all bitchy. It's not helping!"

"I don't want your help!" Regina spat back, eyes blazing.

"Then why the hell am I here, huh? You trusted me for something, and I will gladly accept, and keep your trust. But, Regina... If you keep pushing me away and then tugging me back, I won't stick around forever. If you don't wanna talk about something, fine. Just...say so, alright? You don't need to get all sassy at me."

Regina's lips parted slightly, taken aback. She regarded her young guest and... Was that a hint of admiration in her eyes? Ruby sheepishly fidgeted under the woman's scrutiny, one knee bouncing, fingers playing with the bottom button on her shirt.

"Regina, I-"

"Thank you," the mayor said quietly.

"Uh...what?" Ruby looked at her hostess as though she had gone completely crazy, and started screaming about mossy boobs at the top of her lungs - that is what crazy people yell about, right?

"For...for your honesty," Regina replied quietly again. "It's new for me. To feel like I have someone in my corner, and trust doesn't come easily for me. It's simpler to just be without others."

"And so you push them away." Regina averted her eyes, nodding in affirmation. "Doesn't that get tiring?"

"A habit so deeply ingrained stops feeling exhausting once practiced for as long as one can remember. It becomes second nature, a part of you. You do it so often-"

"That you don't even realize you're doing it," Ruby finished for her.

"Precisely, dear. I apologize for my outburst; however, a word for the wise. I said this was a habit for me, so-"

"Don't be surprised if you do it again?"

"Y-Yes," Regina said, unused to her sentences being finished for her.

"And, Regina? Thank you, too."

"I've done nothing worthy of your gratitude," she said, brows knit in confusion.

Ruby flashed a warm but mischievous smile. "That's not entirely true, Madame Mayor. You promised me that you wouldn't hurt Emma, and you didn't. I know that you don't give a shit about her, but I appreciate it all the same."

"Right. Can I tell you something, Ruby?" The older woman shifted uneasily in her chair.

"Of course. We're, like, BFFs now. I know that a lot of people look at me as the gossip mongerer, but there are lines of trust and secrecy that I don't cross. I won't betray that."

"I appreciate that very much, Ruby. What I want to say is... I find it very difficult for me to genuinely hate Miss Swan."

The waitress choked and looked at the other woman like she had gone crazy again. "Hold the phone! What was that?"

"Yes, I know. It's completely foolish and irrational. By all logical means, I have every right in the world to hate her and damn her soul to the depths of every underworld known to man, but...I can't."

"Oh my God! You're ashamed of that!" Ruby clapped her hand to her mouth, grimacing at her ability to blurt all the wrong things at the wrong times.

Regina swallowed, training her eyes on the glass she set down on the coffee table. "Wouldn't you be? Look at what she did to me, Ruby! Goodness knows, I have _tried_ hating her! I am not saying that I am fond of her in anyway, but hate is the one thing I cannot seem to give to that woman."

"I d'know, Regina. Those flowers said otherwise."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I haven't forgotten those flo-owers!" the young brunette sing-songed. Regina rolled her eyes, clicking her tongue in annoyance. "That's what I thought! You don't just leave a person a bunch of roses if you don't feel a least a _little_ fondly for them!"

Regina opened her mouth with a retort that was ready to deny the girl's claim, but she remembered what they discussed earlier. She schooled her features, smoothing out wrinkles in her slacks. "I think that this is one of those topics that we don't discuss right now, dear."

Ruby shrugged casually. "Fair enough. Told you it was easy to change the subject."

"Then I hope that it is just as easy for you to not pat me on the head like a simpleton every time I do something pleasing to you."

"Oh, uh, sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

"None taken, dear. But, for future reference..."

"Got it! So, are you going to tell Henry that you saw her?"

Regina looked positively affronted by the question. "Absolutely not!"

"What? Why?" The mayor shot her the exact same _Seriously?_ look that Henry had that morning.

"You've seen my son. You're observant enough to see the state he's in. Do you truly think that telling him I've been to see his other mother would do him _any_ good at the moment?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah I can see how that wouldn't be so good right now."

"He needs time, Ruby. I'm an adult, and I can handle much more than he can. He's already carrying the weight of my pain, his disdain for the woman he once called a hero, and the harsh realities of life. Telling him that-"

"Might break him," Ruby finished for a third time.

"I would be a monster if I knowingly did that to him. He needs time, and...so does she."

"Hate to break it to you, Regina, but Storybrooke isn't exactly huge. I know David's not the sharpest fork in the socket, but it's only a matter of time before he finds her. Once he does...game over."

Now it was the mayor's turn to adopt a mischievous smile of her own. "I have my ways around that, dear. Or have you forgotten who holds the power in this town?"

Ruby held her hands up in mock defeat. "Hey, I'm not questioning your authority!"

"I should hope not, dear." Regina sighed wearily. "I fear most for the wellbeing of my son."

"Hey." The waitress leaned over as if to place her hand on the woman's knee, but it subtly changed course to rest on the arm of her chair instead. "Henry's a strong kid. We've all watched him grow, and there's nothing he won't survive. This is the biggest thing he's ever had to deal with, and sooner or later, he'll realize that he's never had to handle it alone. He'll be okay; I just know it." Ruby smiled reassuringly.

"Has any one ever told you that you should write a _Dear Abby_ column?"

"Oh, please. I'm not really that good at this kind of stuff. I've just spent too many mornings talking to Archie. Guess it paid off, though." She smiled again. "Have...have you thought about talking to Archie about this?"

"Very briefly, but he's-"

"Not the guy you need for the job, eh?"

"Indeed."

"Well, lucky for you, Madame Mayor, I offer my superb skills for free. Unless you feel like paying me in wine and coconut coffee. Then we'll have to set up a regular girl's night. We'll talk about our life's issues, drink, and...uh...play board games?"

"Lucky for you, I have surplus of those in the house."

"Oooooo! I am a total sucker for Candy Land, not gonna lie!"

"Personally, I'm more of a chess woman."

"Figures. Smarty pants like you would play the brainy games!"

"You don't have to be smart to play chess, dear."

"Ah, but I bet you have to be smart to play it _well,_ " Ruby winked.

"Touché. Do you know how?"

"I never learned. Oh! That can be our next night! You can teach me how to play chess! Or... Only if you're cool with that." The young woman flushed a pretty shade of pink.

"I think we can arrange that, dear," Regina said with a soft smile. Ruby noticed that the mayor's face didn't look quite so gruesome during its contortion that time.

"Awesome! And when I beat you, I can tell Granny that I'm a smarty pants too, and not just a smart ass."

"When you beat me? Over-confidence, dear, is any strategist's bane."

"Er...right. Well, when I'm good enough so you don't beat me in, like, ten moves, I'll show Granny how smart I am."

"You needn't be good at chess to prove your intelligence, dear."

Ruby gave another exaggerated gasp. "Why, Regina, was that a compliment?"

Regina smoothly responded with, "Whatever makes you happy."

"I'll take it, then. Compliments make me feel all warm and fuzzy."

"A woman should view her worth as greater than the merits those around her see fit to appraise."

"True, but you gotta admit, they're nice to hear."

"I suppose you gather many flattering words in your days."

Ruby shifted a little uncomfortably. "C'mon, I'm sure you get them by the bucket-full!"

Regina slowly blinked once, the right side of her mouth quirking almost imperceptibly upwards. "The hard-hearted, cold, unfeeling mayor? Those who _do_ pay me compliments are either stupid, like Mr Glass, trying to gain my favour for their own purposes, like most of the City Council, or snakes, like Mr Gold. Genuine compliments given in sincerity are...few and far between," Regina said evenly. Ruby had a hard time telling if the woman was actually bothered by that or not.

"Well, now that I've had some time to get to know you a teeny bit, allow me pay you a sincere compliment!"

"I don't suppose I would be able to stop you, even if I tried?"

"Nope! Ready?" Regina inclined her head, giving permission. "Having had the privilege to become acquainted with the real Regina Mills," Ruby began in a voice of grandeur. "I happen to think that, despite all of your walls, you can't help but care deeply for those whom you deem worthy of your affection. I think that's a ridiculously great characteristic to have, and I think it looks good on you," she finished in a much softer voice. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," Regina murmured quietly.

"Told you they were nice."

"Indeed you did."

Ruby's phone beeped loudly, and she pulled it out to read the message on the screen. The young brunette scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Just great..."

"Something wrong?"

"I forgot that Granny's still trying to teach me how to run the books and stuff for when she retires. She decided, since it's my night off, that I should be learning more."

"I take it that this is your cue to leave?"

"Unfortunately." Regina shot her a curious look. "What, you thought I was having a miserable time?"

"I'm just-"

"Not used to company wanting to stick around? Er...sorry that sounded rude."

"No offense taken, dear. But you're right, I'm not accustomed to this."

"Well, you better get used to it, 'cause I'm expecting a lesson in chess next time!"

Regina had retrieved her guest's coat from the closet, and handed it to her. Another awkward silence descended between the two. Both women fidgeted slightly, neither quite sure what to say.

"Thank you, Ruby. Again, I'm-"

"Don't. Really, you don't have to thank me for every little thing I do. It's what friends are for. We...we are friends, aren't we?"

"I believe it's safe to say so, but, still in private for now. If you don't mind."

"It's cool. So... Can I give you a goodbye hug?" Ruby tried to smile, but it came out as more of an awkward grimace, and Regina chuckled softly.

"Not tonight, dear. Another day, perhaps," she offered gently.

"I'll hold you to your word, Madame Mayor."

"I have no doubts, Miss Lucas. Oh, are you okay to drive?"

"Completely, I only had, like, three sips, and that was a while ago. I'm totally sober, I promise."

"Good. Drive safely, and good luck with your, ah, lessons?"

"Thanks, I'll need all the luck I can get! See you around!"

Ruby flipped the lock on the door, slipping out of it, and tossing a quick wave goodbye behind her. Regina stood in the foyer, staring at the closed door, marveling at the turn of the evening. It was remarkable how easily things flowed between them, albeit a little unsettling at how perceptive the girl was. She smirked to herself, thinking, _Perhaps having the wolf as a friend is a good thing after all._ Then she remembered to lock the front door again, moving into her nightly routine of checking all the rooms and locks. All in all, it had been a pretty good night for Regina Mills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to my A++ Beta, Jasmine, who can be found at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and I can be located at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com I am taking prompts for one-shots, so shoot them my way by PMing me here or on Tumblr!


	33. End of the Rope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is finally fed up with Emma's shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I don't know what's gotten into me, but I'm writing like a furious little cinnamon bun right now! I know this chapter is probably going to piss a lot of you off, but it's a necessary one. At least you will all get to admire Ruby being an amazing human being again! I love all of you, and enjoy the chapter!

Emma's whole body jerked in a mighty twist, and she tumbled from the cot to the floor, barely missing the now cracked and drying puddle of puke. Its smell right beneath her nose made her stomach want to add fresh contents to it. She rolled away, flopping on her back, bringing her right hand up to wipe away some of the cold sweat that was stinging in the scratches on her face.

She shivered and groaned aloud, trying to rub the dregs of her nightmare from her eyes. As quickly as it had disturbed her sleep, it was running away even faster. All Emma was left with was a lingering feeling of despair that she usually felt when confronted with the demons of her past. She could no longer remember which piece had come up to haunt her that night, but she didn't feel quite as scared as she normally did.

She remembered one thing, and it was the best and most important thing that could have chosen to linger in her mind. He was there again, whoever He was. Her dream savior, the shadow that kept the terror at bay, the shadow that made her flesh feel warm again. She shivered, considering reaching over and pulling the blankets from the cot, not sure if she even had enough strength to pull herself back up onto it.

Being pissed drunk for roughly two days had done nothing for her body's recovery from the coma. She hadn't done any of her exercises, and it was astonishing how quickly the body lost all the strength she had recovered. It had gotten to the point where the cane almost wasn't enough to help her hobble around the tiny cabin. Unfortunately, that did her no favors; if she could barely walk, she certainly couldn't go about cleaning up the mess her bowels left for her.

The blonde sniffed again and quickly wrinkled her nose, still too near to the stale puddle of sick. She closed her eyes and tried to think of the last time she smelled something good, and frowned when the memory of a spicy, almost beachy - in the good way - scent drifted through her mind. It came attached to a pair of fierce, bloodshot, brown eyes, pink lips sporting an ugly split and olive skin painted with the unflattering hues of aging bruises.

 _Great, I'm thinking of Regina again,_ Emma thought angrily. As if that woman hadn't already been on her mind enough as was, ever since her visit two days prior, the brunette was a frequent subject of her musings. It also didn't help that since their interaction had occurred, Graham had been silent and unseen. Things were getting awfully quiet, and Emma was beginning to wonder if she hadn't just imagined all of those times with him. She was pretty drunk and fucked up; who's to say it wasn't all a figment of her imagination?

Yet, without his invasions, the blonde felt like she had no choice but to hear her own thoughts, to feel the emotions clawing at the back of her brain. Lately, it was guilt. Not the kind of guilt you get when you lie about doing your homework, either. It was the kind of guilt you get when you come up with a lame lie to not see your grandparents over the weekend, and the Monday after, Grandma gets sick and dies. _That_ kind of guilt. Only this time, it wasn't Grandma.

More often than not, it was Regina's busted, battered face that danced around her mind, especially her eyes. Eyes that had shed tears, something Emma that had never even thought her rival to be capable of. She wasn't sure what bothered her more: the fact that Regina had cried at all, or that she herself was the cause of those tears. She had spent so many long months looking upon the hard, stoic brunette as something inhuman, and, to Emma, she thought that crying was a really... _human_ thing to do.

Perhaps that was why she felt so able to assault Regina as she had. She didn't look at her as any other person like Ruby or Mary Margaret. Emma flushed, realizing that she had actually started to think of Regina as the fictitious, unmovable Evil Queen. The mayor was no longer a breakable, feeling mortal in her eyes; instead, becoming something that didn't apply to abstract words such as Justice or Mercy. Unconsciously dehumanizing her allowed Emma commit an unthinkable atrocity, and she was beyond disgusted with herself.

She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, rolling onto her side, groaning with frustration. "Where are you, Graham? Why aren't you here to tell me how to get through this mess this time?" she asked the silent room. "I don't know what to do now! I know I was stubborn last time, okay? But...but I'll listen to you this time around. Please..."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

A soft knocking sound penetrated the blonde's mind. She grumbled something incoherent under her breath, but the knocking continued for a little longer. She refused to open her eyes, hoping that whoever the hell was outside the cabin would give up and go away. To her immense disappointment, the sound of the latch clicking open reached her ears.

"House keeping!" sing-songed a familiar voice. She heard quick footfalls approach her head. "Christ, Em! Is it always going to be like this?"

"I d'know what you're talking about," she garbled out through the sleepy fog clouding her brain.

Ruby crouched down, resting her forearms on her bent legs. "I seem to have a habit of finding you on the ground. I'm just glad you're not drowning in a puddle this time," the brunette remarked, not sounding particularly glad of anything. Emma only grunted in response. "Okay, I can't stay in here much longer before I hurl from the smell. C'mon, let's go outside."

"Can't," was the only word Ruby heard.

"Why is that?" the waitress huffed.

"Can't walk. M'body is all weak and crap again." Emma yawned loudly.

"That's not my fault, Cranky McCrankerson. You're a big girl now. You can take care of yourself." She surveyed the blonde sprawled across the floor in rumpled sweats, stained tanktop yellowing from sweat around the collar and underarms, and hair a ratty mess of untamed, unwashed curls. "Well...you're _supposed_ to be able to take care of yourself."

"Kinda is your fault, though, Rubes." Emma looked up at her with a lazy expression that said _totally true what I am saying right now._

"Okay, whatever, you can explain how the hell any of this is my fault _outside_." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "I am dying here."

Ruby swiped up Emma's cane, which was resting near the bed, and moved to help the sheriff up to her feet. Emma grunted, whined, and, eventually, made it to her feet, leaning heavily on the aluminum walking aid.

"Thanks," the sheriff mumbled while Ruby pulled away from her.

"Good God, Emma! When was the last time you took a shower?"

"Hard to bathe when I can barely walk," she grumbled, blushing furiously as they made their way out to the porch.

"Whatever your excuse, it won't hold up in my next visit. If you don't at least wash your pits or something, I'm going to throw you into the lake. I _will_ scrub you down myself, if I have to. This is getting out of hand, Em."

"I know, okay!" the blonde snapped back harshly. "You think I'm just blind to the fact that I'm swimming in nasty?" Emma heavily thudded down onto the porch stairs, glaring out across the lake.

"Not much evidence around that says you do." Ruby remained standing, hands firmly planted on cocked hips.

"Fine, whatever. I get it, I'm disgusting and unworthy of anything."

The waitress refused to take the bait. "Cut the pity party, Emma. Mind telling me how even a shred of this shit is my fault?"

"You gave me the alcohol," she bluntly stated.

Ruby scoffed loudly. "Are you serious right now? I gave you that under the assumption that you'd be a responsible adult, like I thought you were, _Sheriff._ I gave it to you to help take the edge off. It was _your_ choice to drink it all at once! So don't you dare put any of this fucking shit on me!" Her tone was dangerous, eyes flashing angrily down at her friend.

The use of the expletive caught Emma's attention, knowing that the good-natured brunette rarely used that kind of language. "Then you're an idiot for thinking that I was okay enough to act responsibly."

"I wasn't aware that you turned into a giant, alcoholic, childish asshat when you're emotionally compromised," Ruby shot back.

"You're really fucking rude, you know that?"

The brunette stared silently at the other woman for a moment before breaking out into loud, disbelieving laughter. Emma glowered darkly up at the cackling girl, remaining firmly planted on the steps.

"Oh, _I'm_ the rude one? That's rich, Emma! I have done nothing but help your sorry ass! I got the power turned on here for you, and I've made sure you have food, and water, and clothes. I helped you survive! Admit it! You'd be dead right now if wasn't for me!"

"I never said I wanted to be saved!" the blonde shouted.

"That's the biggest load of horseshit I've ever heard! We both know you needed help to stay alive for Henry! _I_ was the one who helped you! _I_ was the one who made sure you'd stay alive long enough to come home to him! ME!"

Emma sprung to her feet surprisingly fast. Adrenaline had that effect on her. "Oh yeah! You helped me all right! Big fucking help when you sold me out to Regina fucking Mills!" She was yelling right into Ruby's face, their noses almost touching.

"You would see it like that! As me selling you out! But you're not the only one suffering here!"

 _And I haven't been suffering?_ Regina's vehement words echoed in Emma's brain.

"At least you know you have friends in your corner! Regina had no one she could safely go to about this!"

"And telling her where I am is helping her? Ever thought that she might try to exact a little revenge, huh? She could have killed me!" Emma spat.

"AND YOU ALMOST KILLED HER, YOU FUCKING MORON!" Ruby had officially lost her cool. Tough love usually worked on Emma during these visits, but the blonde was determined to make a royal ass of herself. The brunette refused to take even an inch of that.

"FUCK! I KNOW! WHY DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN A FUCKING WRECK?! DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT HOW I'VE HURT HER?" Emma's voice broke slightly, tears welling in her green eyes.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BADLY YOU'VE HURT HER, EMMA?"

"I SAW EVERYTHING, RUBY! SHE PUT IT ON FUCKING DISPLAY FOR ME. OH, LET'S NOT FORGET THAT I REMEMBER EVERY GOD DAMNED SENSATION AND SOUND FROM WHEN I ATTACKED HER!" The blonde broke away from her staring match with the waitress, stumbling back until she hit one of the support beams for the porch.

"Why?" she pleaded, clinging to the post for support. "Why did you send her to me?"

"Because she was scared, you idiot. You know...she couldn't even _hear_ your name? She was downright _petrified_ of you. It was like she was four years old, and you were the monster under her bed!"

"She still could've..."

"Killed you? Hit you back? An eye for an eye? I'm starting to think that maybe you could use a fist to your face. Maybe I shouldn't've made her make that promise." Ruby fixed Emma with a hard look.

"W-What? You made _Regina_ make a promise?"

"I did, because I was still looking out for you. I made her promise to bring you no harm, unless you yourself instigated anything first."

"And you just trusted her to keep her word? Are you stupid?"

"She kept her promise, didn't she? I made her swear on Henry's life not to hurt you! Besides, Regina's the one who should be mad at me!"

Emma chuckled mirthlessly. "Why is that, huh?"

"Because I sent an injured woman to see a crazy, blonde bitch with a gun and a vendetta! For all I know, you would've shot her dead on sight!"

"I...did pull my gun on her," Emma mumbled, averting her eyes.

Ruby's eyes just about bugged right out of her head. " _Oh my God!_ And you think I'm the stupid one? What the hell were you thinking?"

"She looked angry and scary!" Emma whined. "I felt afraid for my life. It's not like I actually shot at her, or anything."

"Guess you've had a little taste of what it felt like to think you might die. Here's the kicker, though. Regina didn't _actually_ attack you, and you pulled your freakin' gun on her. Haven't you threatened her with enough pain? Haven't you dished out enough damage? And not just to Regina, Emma." Ruby opened her mouth to keep going, but the sheriff cut her off.

"I know! I know I've hurt Henry! Regina told me, okay?" she said through gritted teeth.

"No. Not okay. This is a mess you can't run from, Emma. And it's a shitstorm that needs fixing!"

"So what? You want me to turn myself in? What good would that do? I can't fix anything from jail, and Henry would..."

Ruby nodded her head no, her frustration climbing higher and higher again. "No, you're right. That wouldn't help. But you know what, you could start by getting your shit together. Clean up your fucking barfshack, take care of yourself and stuff. How can you even think of fixing this, if you can't even keep yourself in working order?"

"I get it, Ruby! I stink, okay? I'll clean up-"

"This isn't just about personal hygiene. Regina's probably going to come by again. If you want to open any sort of dialogue with her-"

"What makes you think I want that? Or that I want her to even try to talk to me? When did you even start liking her so much? Why are you defending her? What makes her better than me?"

"For starters, she doesn't smell like puke and self-loathing!" Ruby bit back.

"How can you even...?"

"I don't fucking know. All I know is that it's rolling off of you in waves, Emma. And it reeks. As for the other reasons? She's been falling apart at the seams, and it's more than she can handle. If she's barely able to function, how is she supposed to take care of Henry or the town?

"I ran into her coming out of Tom's store, and I mean physically ran into her. When I did that, she freaked the fuck out, Emma. She had a full-blown panic attack! I reached out to her, because she needed it. Regina took me up on my offer.

"And you know what else? Just because _you_ don't like her, doesn't make her unworthy of help. It doesn't make her beneath you. She's a Goddamn human being! Am I the only one who sees that?" Ruby asked incredulously, reaching the end of her rope.

"But she-"

"No," the brunette said sharply. "I'm done with your pathetic, floundering excuses. You're determined to be blind, and I've had enough." She turned and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. Maybe I'll even see Regina! At least she only smells like cinnamon and a broken heart," she called over her shoulder.

"But-"

Ruby spun on her spot, glaring with enough heat to make the blonde wince. "No, Emma. You don't get any more help from me! But you know what? I'm feeling generous today, so here's the last favor you'll ever get from me." Ruby confidently strode back up to the sheriff, right into her personal space again. "Want to know why I trusted Regina?"

"Just tell me," Emma said in a dangerously even tone.

"While you were in your coma, she visited you all the time. With _no_ ill intent." Then the waitress was gone from Emma's face, striding away toward her car. "Good luck surviving out here! Hope you make good friends with those puke piles, because they're the only friends you deserve right now!" She disappeared around the side of the cabin, and Emma heard her car roar into life, and the crunch of gravel faded quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, HUGE shout out to my bestest Beta, Jasmine, who helped me get through a lot of spots where I got stuck in the dialogue. You're the best, and all of you guys should see how awesome she is on her Tumblr at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and you can find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com. 
> 
> I am open for prompts now, so send me your ideas via PM here or on Tumblr.
> 
> One last thing, I know a lot of you commented on Emma's lie detector not catching Regina's lie about not being a killer. If you'd like to know my reasoning/headcanon for that, message me! I'd love to elaborate!


	34. The Seed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has a warm heart to heart with Henry, before being accosted by an unwanted visitor and her own conscience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had kind of a hard time writing this chapter, and I owe a lot of the content to my beta, who came up with the basic outline for me. I hope you enjoy the return of a favourite character we haven't seen in many chapters, and the closing of a couple plot holes. I love you all so much for the reviews, follows and favourites! They really drive me to keep writing, and I want to give you all snuggly hugs! Enjoy!

Regina came down the stairs, tugging at the sleeves of her turtleneck until they sat comfortably on her arms. She walked across the foyer and into the kitchen, sans the typical clacking of her stilettos; her feet were still far too sore to wear her usual heels for more than a couple of hours tops. Upon entering, she saw Henry sitting at the island counter, munching on a bowl of frosted mini-wheats. She smiled at him, walking over to place a kiss on his head.

"Morning, Mom. I already made you coffee." He smiled weakly up at her.

"Thank you, Henry. That was very sweet of you, but you know you don't have to keep trying to do everything for me. I'm not exactly crippled, dear," Regina said softly, taking a mug from the cabinet.

"I just wanna help. I don't know how to help make things better for you, 'cause you won't tell me. I'm sorry about ruining those shirts in the wash." He stared glumly down into his bowl.

The brunette felt her heart break a little at her son's admission, and she crossed to the island, leaning on it to get down to his eye level. "My dear Henry. You are so brave, and I am so lucky to have you as my little prince, but there are some battles that you can't fight."

"But, there has to be something I can do!" He stared into his mother's eyes with a look of stern determination.

Regina softened, smiling sadly back at him. "You already have, dear."

The boy cocked his head to the side, asking, "How?"

"By simply, simply being here, and being strong for me. The fact that you care at all has given me my own strength." She reached over and took Henry's hand, squeezing it.

"Of course I care..." He took a deep breath. "I know you're trying to change, even though you did some bad stuff. But...you're not entirely like that anymore, are you? Even though I knew that already...I really hated you for what you did to Emma. She didn't deserve that."

Regina looked away, unable to meet her son's gaze. "I know, Henry..."

He silenced her by squeezing her hand back. "I didn't think I could forgive you for that, and...I still kinda haven't. It just made me so _mad_." He stared intensely at his mother, his big, hazel eyes swirling with emotions Regina couldn't even begin to name. "But, it changed."

"How? I mean, I am glad that it did, but I thought that I had lost you forever."

"Man, sometimes you're as dumb as Emma, Mom." He smiled teasingly at her insulted look. "C'mon, you're Emma's True Love. She's the Savior! She can save your heart. And if you can be saved...you can't really be a bad guy forever, right?" Regina just nodded slightly, a look of hurt plastered across her face.

"Hey," he said, calling her attention back to him. "You're my mom too, y'know. And...I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't know what to do, and I was angry. Honestly, I think one of the reasons why I was as angry as I was, was 'cause I couldn't fully hate you. I've always loved you, Mom."

Regina wiped a tear from her eye. "I love you too, Henry. Always."

"How come you're crying?"

Regina laughed a little. "Sometimes, you're as dumb as your other mother, dear," she jokingly said, booping his nose when he made a face. "Sometimes mothers cry when they hear their children say such beautiful things. And sometimes they cry when they're so astonished at how grown up and mature their children have become."

"Aww, c'mon, Mom! Don't get all mushy and stuff on me! You're embarrassing me!"

"Oh really? In front of what audience am I embarrassing you, dear?"

"Ugh! You know what I mean." Henry's eyes flitted to the time blinking on the microwave. "Holy crap! I'm gonna be late!"

"Language, Henry," the brunette scolded.

"Er...darn, I'm gonna be late?"

"Better."

Henry slid off his chair, taking his bowl to the sink. Afterward, he walked over to his mother, and both knew what he was about to say. "Are you going to be okay, Mom?"

Regina placed another kiss on the crown of his head. "Yes, Henry. I will be okay. Now hurry up, and pay attention in your classes!"

"Bye, Mom." He hugged her tenderly, careful not to hurt her before dashing out of the kitchen to scoop up his bag and slip on his sneakers. A moment later she heard him call out one last good bye, and the front door clicked shut behind him.

Regina wasted no time in tracing his steps to the door, throwing the lock. One of her hands lingered on the knob, the other was pressed against the cool wood along side her forehead. She wondered if it would always be this way now. If her life would forever be defined by fear that she couldn't quite conquer, by weakness and powerlessness at the hands of a blonde she almost wished had never become a part of her life. Would she remain trapped on the new plane of damaged that she found herself roaming for the rest of her life? _When will I be free?_

                                                            ~*~

 

It was shortly after noon, and Regina was in her study, working on a crossword puzzle to keep herself distracted, sipping on some constant comment tea - though she was sorely tempted to add a splash of whiskey to it. Soft jazz played throughout the room, the meandering melodies also helping to keep her mind from troubling thoughts or memories. She was writing in the answer for 13-down when a loud knocking sounded from the foyer.

Regina jumped, startled by the intruding noise, leaving a long slash of ink across her puzzle. The knocking sounded again. She took a steadying breath, setting her glasses aside. She strode somewhat cautiously to the door, and a third set of knocks greeted her ears.

"Who is it?" she called through the door.

"Just a friend," came a softly-accented male voice. Regina's expression immediately soured.

She flipped the lock, pulling open the door. "You're no friend of mine, Gold. What do you want?"

"Here I thought you had better manners, dearie. Perhaps I am simply concerned with your wellbeing?"

Regina let out a disbelieving laugh. "The only person you harbor any concern for in this town is yourself."

"Yes, but after all of our history together, your majesty, I would be remiss if I didn't come to see how you're doing after your last...encounter with the sheriff."

"I'm perfectly fine. That woman may have harmed my body, but that's all the damage that she'll ever be able to do."

Gold chuckled, placing both of his hands atop his cane, which stood directly in front of him. "Regina...We both know that you can be a really bad liar." Regina glared at him, her upper lip twitching. "Had any bad dreams, dearie? Seen a figure from the past? Feeling a little... _mad?_ "

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she spat.

"My, my. Those bruises look rather painful. Curious, considering how long it's been since you first received them. Why, it looks as if you got them yesterday."

Regina's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Gold's smirk only widened, clearly enjoying his cat and mouse game. "You're smart, Regina. Surely you can figure this little puzzle out."

The mayor had no stomach for the imp's cryptic games. She stepped backward, beginning to swing the door shut, but the tip of a cane jammed its path. "Remove your little stick at once, or so help me I will call Sheriff Nolan," she growled at the man.

"True Love, dearie!" He plastered on the greasy grin of his that she loathed.

"What?"

"How does the phrase usually go? Ah, yes. People do crazy things for love. What people don't know is just how crazy one can get when a rift - more like a chasm - comes between someone and their True Love."

"That woman is _not_ my True Love!" The mayor's temper flared, and it almost felt like having her magic back.

Gold merely chuckled at her denial. "We both know there was only one way to break that Sleeping Curse, Regina. Deny it all you want, dearie, but I know that it was your kiss that woke dear Emma."

The brunette's face was contorted into an ugly mask of fury, and the expression coupled with her silence only made Gold's smirk broader. "Why am I affected by this?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Don't play coy with me, Gold. Why is this happening to me and not to others?"

"I'll make you a deal, dearie." Regina's jaw clenched furiously when she heard those words. "You admit your connection to Ms Swan, and I'll answer your question."

"Why do you care? What do you get out of it?"

"Let's just say...I'm a fan of True Love."

"That answer isn't good enough for me! What's in it for you?"

"I offered you a deal, Regina. And the terms of that deal grant you the answer to only one, very specific inquiry. The true question is, just how badly do you want to know?"

Regina's lips were pursed tightly, and she regarded the man standing so casually on her porch, smiling patiently, waiting for her answer. Much to his delight, she relented, just like all other times in their murky past. Some things just never change.

"Fine. I'll admit that I have some...feelings for Miss Swan that aren't classified under hate or loathing." Gold blinked once, silently conveying his need for more. "I might have some vaguely-romantic inclinations toward the woman," she gritted out through clenched teeth.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"Answer my question, imp!"

"I see you still have the ability to make demands like a queen, your majesty. And I, your humble servant, shall comply." The brunette rolled her eyes at his simpering statement. "The curse that you cast...it stole our happy endings, yes? So why hasn't half of Storybrooke gone crazy from being torn from their True Loves?"

"Yes. Why haven't they? Why are David and Mary Margaret still sane? Or Cinderella and her prince...before they got together again, that is. Or the dwarf and his fairy?"

"The answer to that is quite simple, dearie. Those loves...they were all born and nurtured back in our world. Their romances were not formed in this realm, and so are, in a sense, protected. You, and your sheriff, on the other hand, well, whatever has happened between you two-"

"It happened in this realm." Regina finished quietly.

"Precisely. If I were you, I'd get a move on, before Henry has lost both of his mothers to madness."

"Both?"

"True Love is a bridge between two individuals, Regina. You cannot sever one without the other. Your madness is her madness."

"I've heard enough," she snapped.

"Yes, I daresay you have. Good day, your majesty." He hadn't even fully descended the porch steps when he heard the door and lock slamming behind him. He smiled to himself, having successfully planted the seed in the Queen's mind.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina stormed through the mansion to her study, positively fuming with fury. Before she knew it, she had pulled the crystal stopper from the decanter of cider at the mini-bar. She lifted the weighty container, ready to pour herself a deep glass of liquor, when the tape she and Henry placed on it caught her eye.

She glared at the little marker, as if hoping that her own sheer force of will would make the thing go away. Her urge to drink in order to abate her emotional turmoil was strong, but the need to do right by the son she adored was stronger - but only just, after her interaction with Rumplestiltskin.

She gripped the decanter so tightly that her fingertips turned white, and the cider inside sloshed around a little. "He thought he had me backed into a corner," she said to the empty room. Only the soft tones of her music responded. "He thought he found a way to trick me into admitting a truth I kept hidden." She smiled to herself. "The joke is on you, Rumplestiltskin. I don't love her, nor will I ever!"

She set the crystal bottle down, but refused to remove her hand from it. She was ashamed of the fact that even if she couldn't ingest the liquor, just being so close to it felt grounding. "I'm sorry, Henry... I'm just not strong enough right now." She squeezed her eyes shut, and heard the echo of his voice crawling to the forefront of her mind.

 _Honestly, I think one of the reasons why I was as angry as I was, was 'cause I couldn't fully hate you._ "No," she whispered, but her voice shook. _I've always loved you, Mom._ "No!" she said more firmly. "It's...It's not like that with us! That's not the way I feel about her!" She was no longer sure whom she was trying to convince of her disdain for the blonde, but the only thing that mattered to her was the fact that she wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"She has given me _every_ reason to hate her! She's taken my power, my security, my trust and confidence! And left nothing but pain in my body and heart in her wake of chaos. The only thing she's managed to fail to rip from me is my son!"

 _Pain in your heart?_ asked the little voice inside her head.

"I thought I could... No. It doesn't matter what I thought. What matters is that I don't like her!"

_Yet, you still cannot find it within yourself to hate her. Curious really. I wonder why that is?_

"It doesn't matter why I don't hate her!" she snapped out loud.

_Why always matters. What is it about her that prevents you truly hating her?_

"Enough. Go back to whatever shady corner of my mind you've crawled from, and be silent once more!"

_Is it her loyalty?_

"Quiet!" She clenched her fists at her temples, eyes shut tight in frustration.

_Or the way that she somehow manages to help you, even though you never asked?_

"I said enough!"

_Perhaps it's her beauty that has you so disarmed?_

"Do not think me so shallow! Now leave me be!"

_How could we forget, though, that there is no singular way to sum up one's love for another._

"I DO NOT LOVE EMMA SWAN!" the brunette bellowed, whirling around, scooping up the decanter and hurling it into the fireplace where it exploded in a brilliant array of golden droplets and hundreds of sharp, glittering shards.

She heard one last whispered word before silence occupied her mind.

_Liar._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a HUGE thanks to my best beta, Jasmine, for giving me a lot of much-needed help this time! She would also like you to know that she's opened her talented self up for prompts as well, and you can send them to her on her Tumblr at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and you can find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


	35. Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finally confides a few hard truths to Ruby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter finished last night, but I was a little hesitant about some of the content in the latter half of the chapter. I rewrote a large chunk, and I needed my beta's thumbs up! I hope that this chapter finally addresses some of the concerns I've been hearing from you guys. Let me know what you think! Reviews keep me informed on your thoughts! Enjoy!

Ruby giggled into her glass of wine. "I know Friday nights are usually date nights, but I can definitely get used to Friday night girl's night here, Regina!"

"Is that so?" Regina teased lightly.

"Definitely. It's cleaner, about a thousand times classier, the drinks are always on the house, and I'm not getting felt up by every drunk dock worker from here to China!"

Regina made a face, clearly showing her distaste for the idea of a drunken man getting handsy with her. Both women were in the study, seated across from each other on the lounges, a chessboard between them on the coffee table. A bottle of wine was open nearby, which Ruby helped herself to periodically. Regina had tea.

"Rooks can't move through other pieces, dear. Only knights can jump over other pieces," Regina corrected gently.

"Man, there are a lot of rules to this game! No wonder it's usually only played by intellectuals."

"As with all things in life, it merely takes practice and patience."

Ruby took another sip of wine. "Yeah, but I can practice breathing fire my whole life, but that doesn't mean I'll ever be good at it."

A secret smile tugged the mayor's mouth as she murmured into her mug, "Breathing fire isn't so difficult for some in this town..."

"What was that? I didn't catch it."

"Oh, I only said that some things come more naturally to some than to others."

Ruby frowned at the board, scratching her long neck in concentration. "Well, clearly chess comes naturally to you, and not to me," she stated as she moved one of her pawns, only to have the mayor quickly claim it with her bishop. "See?"

"Nonsense. Firstly, this is only your first game. Few people are rarely extraordinary at something that they try for the first time. Unless they're a savant, but that is the exception. Secondly, I was positively dreadful at chess when I first learned."

"Seriously?"

The older woman nodded, calculating the different moves she could make in the game. "I had my first lesson when I was eight. My mother... She was determined to climb the social and political ladders. Chess is a game of strategy, knowing and predicting your opponent's every move. Good lessons in politics and war. This," she gestured to the board. "Was never _just_ a game for me."

"Jesus. Your mother put all that on you? When you were only eight?"

"It was...a different time, and she was quite the traditionalist, in the worst sense. I didn't have a mind for strategy and patterns, though my tutor tried to point them out to me. Every time I lost, Mother would rap my knuckles with a switch." Regina's left hand unconsciously moved to massage away the memory of bruised, inflamed knuckles on her other hand.

Ruby stared, open-mouthed, and unable to say a single word. Regina shifted nervously, needing to break the tension that had settled in the air. "You're going to catch flies, dear."

The waitress snapped her lips together, still staring at her hostess wordlessly. When Regina finally did properly catch her attention, she coughed and quickly took a large gulp of wine.

"If...If I see any flies in your house, I'll be astonished." Thanks to the young woman's playful banter, the tension quickly eased out of the room, leaving both women where they were before Regina brought up her mother.

"It always seems that people assume a clean house is a pest-free home, but I can assure you it's not really true."

"Are you serious?"

The mayor smiled softly before saying, "I believe the term you would use is hella?"

Ruby brought her hands to her mouth, gasping in surprise. "Oh my _fucking_ God! You just said hella!" she squealed through her fingers.

"I thought you might appreciate that. As I was saying, I have a clean house, yes, but you wouldn't believe how many spiders and other little bugs I've relocated over the years. I've also removed several mice from my abode. Not very hygienic, especially with a child around," she casually remarked, moving one of her bishops.

"Relocated?" Ruby refilled her glass, peering down at the board, trying to see a way to gain the upper hand in the game - or at least trick Regina into giving up one of her pieces. "You don't just squish them?"

"Usually, no. Especially the spiders." The mayor took one of Ruby's rooks.

"Ew, why? Spiders are gross and creepy! And I thought you said you were going to go easy on me!"

Regina chuckled, thinking about how ironic it was that a werewolf was afraid of spiders. "I said I would go easy on you, dear. That doesn't mean I will let you win. As for why do I save the spiders? They eat other, less-desirable insects. Mosquitoes, flies, et cetera."

"Huh. Regina Mills: Savior of spiders, ruthless at chess!" Ruby held her wine up in a toast to her friend. Glass and mug clinked together.

"You think I'm ruthless at chess? Check."

"Does that mean I lose? And yes, I do."

"It means your king is vulnerable to my knight here. You lose when I say checkmate."

"See? You _are_ ruthless!" She saved her king by taking Regina's knight, a move the elder brunette had planned, setting up her next play on the white king.

"You say ruthless. I say...calculated?" She took the waitress' queen.

Ruby groaned loudly. "No, I say you're cheating, Madame Mayor!"

"Cheating? Some games, the stakes are high enough where cheating becomes worth it. But this? My dear, I play hard, but fair."

"Pshhhh! You're cheating by getting _me_ drunk, and using _your_ superior knowledge! You have an unfair advantage!" She nudged a pawn forward.

"I simply opened the bottle, dear. It was you who decided to drink half of it."

Ruby shrugged. "You got me there. But...it's really good wine. Kinda hard to resist."

Regina cocked an eyebrow, her sly smile sliding into place. "Perhaps I planned it that way? Checkmate."

The waitress threw her hands up in defeat. "Ruthless," she grumbled under her breath, and Regina's smile widened.

"You think I'm ruthless at chess. Well, you haven't seen just how vicious I am at Sorry!"

"How many times has Henry walked from the noble game board, licking his wounds?"

"I didn't raise my son to take defeat like a kicked dog, dear. He gives as good as he gets. There were nights where I was surprised we weren't throwing things. We got so competitive, I thought the board was going to catch on fire with the heat of our glares." Regina smiled fondly at the memories.

"Dang! Sounds intense! So, what you're trying to say is... I can't beat you at chess, and I definitely can't beat Henry at Sorry?"

"Not a chance, dear. Although, you might be able to beat _me_ at Sorry."

Ruby beamed at the other woman. "I think I know what we're doing next Friday!"

"I daresay you do. Would you like to play another round?"

"Noooo. I am too tipsy to play more. I'll only play if you get on my level."

Regina started to clear the board. "I still can't do that, dear."

The younger brunette shifted a little in her seat. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I see no reason why not." The mayor kept her focus on the chess set, standing up to place it back on the bookshelf in the study where it usually sat.

"It's been like...a week? Have...have you seen her?" Regina paused, her arm raised, hand still resting on the wooden box where she slid it into place on the shelf.

"Shouldn't you know the answer to that? You're the only other one who sees her." Regina's tone was quiet and strained, and she remained rooted to the floor in front of the bookshelf.

Ruby cleared her throat nervously. "Actually...no. I visited her, like, two days after you did, and she freaked the fuck out at me."

Regina whipped her head around too fast, the bruises in her tender neck screaming their displeasure at her, and she let out a soft hiss. "What?"

"Legit. She's still throwing her pity party, which, let's be honest here, is getting kinda old."

Regina walked back to the lounge, sitting down and fixing the waitress with a steady gaze. "This sounds like something you have been wanting to get off your chest, dear. Please, you have listened to me. I owe you the same."

Ruby shrugged, too tipsy to care. "It was...gross. She hasn't showered; she's still swimming in piles of puke, and get this! It's really rich. She tried to blame _me_ for her shitty state of being!"

"I don't see how that was your fault."

"Well, it depends on how you look at it, really. She was pretty shitfaced right?"

"To say the least."

"Emma didn't take any booze with her when she booked it out of town. And that crappy shack sure didn't come with any complementary alcohol."

Regina frowned. "You? You brought her alcohol?"

Ruby flushed. "I did. But, it's like you said to me five minutes ago! You gave me the wine, but _I_ chose to drink..." she squinted at the bottle. "Four and half glasses. I could have had one, or two. It was my choice, not yours."

"Indeed, but I don't think we can apply that kind of logic to her actions any more. She's...no longer in a rational state of mind."

"No kiddin'. Seriously, Regina, what do you even see in her anyway? I mean, I know she's hot and all...when she's showered, but-"

"I _beg_ your pardon?" the mayor asked harshly.

"What? I just wanna know where you're coming from!" she stated as casually as one might comment on another's outfit.

"Where I am coming from? I am coming from anger, disgust and something so unholy that it has no name!"

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or maybe Ruby was entirely too fed up with everyone's shit to care, or maybe she simply could no long deny what was clear to her eyes. "Yeah, I know all of that. You also have the hots for her, though."

Regina's eyes flashed dangerously. "You best tread carefully, Miss Lucas."

"We're back to Miss Lucas now? Nope, I'm not gonna take it."

"And I can throw you out of my house at _any_ time!"

Ruby chuckled. "Seriously, Regina? How many times are we gonna do this? Every time I bring up a hard truth, you get pissed as hell, and try to run away. You're starting to resemble our friend, Blondie McBarfFace."

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to her!" Regina spat viciously.

"Oh, right! Because you two are sooooooo different! Because you're both such headstrong, determined, passionate, easily-frustrated, take-shit-from-none, step aside for no man, sly, stubborn women! For two people who are so very different, you've got _a lot_ in common," the young brunette pointed out hotly.

"Having common traits does not make us akin to one another!"

"Didn't someone say that opposites attract?"

"A statement that is commonly false!"

"Regina... How many times do I have to bring up those flowers?" Ruby asked evenly. The mayor opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. "Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Regina, I was _there_ in the room with you. We both know what I saw."

The older woman seemed to visibly deflate in front of her guest. Her shoulders slumped, and her head fell into her hands. She completely ignored that the pressure on her swollen cheek, despite the pain arcing through her flesh. Her eyes stung with hot tears, but she managed to force them back.

"What's wrong with me?" she mumbled into her palms.

"I didn't hear you. What did you say?"

Regina lifted her head up, peering at Ruby from under thick lashes. "What's wrong with me?"

Ruby's lips parted in surprise. She was used to seeing the other woman in various states of emotional distress, but she still couldn't get over how much she resembled a scared little girl in those moments; so unlike the powerful, confident politician she knew her to be. Furthermore, she couldn't tell where Regina was coming from on this one.

"What do you mean? I don't get it," she asked, hoping for more clarity.

"And you think I do, Ruby? You've seen what she did to me!" Regina clawed at the collar of her turtleneck, roughly yanking it down. Ruby flinched and averted her eyes. "Look at them! Look at the marks! Look!"

Ruby nervously licked her lips before bringing her eyes up to peer at the dark, horizontal slashes of purple, red, yellow, and green adorning the mayor's slender neck. Her mouth went dry, and she turned her head away, squeezing her eyes shut. Unfortunately, the image was already branded to the insides of her eyelids, and she felt all of the blood leave her face.

"You have the luxury of closing your eyes, dear...of walking away from this. I don't, and what's worse is...you're right."

Ruby's eyes snapped to attention, the woman hardly believing what she heard. "Right? About what?"

"I am so very tired, Ruby. Tired of the pain, tired of running, tired of using all of my energy on anger and denial. You..." The older brunette bit her lip in frustration. "What I tell you now, under no circumstances does it leave this room."

"I would be dead if I ever thought to betray your trust, Regina. Tonight is no different for me," Ruby responded earnestly.

Regina clenched her fists, taking a deep breath. "You were right, Ruby. I...I do care for her. And I am positively nauseated every time I think about the fact that, after _everything_ Emma has done to me, after all the pain she's caused not only me, but Henry as well, that I still manage to harbor an attraction to her. Rather, more like an attraction to the woman that I thought she was." She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes.

"Why _do_ you like her still? Even after all that shit that happened?"

Regina opened her eyes, focusing them on her guest in a sorrowful, almost pleading stare. "Emma hurt me. Badly. However...she's not the only villain in this story, dear."

"I don't follow."

"Please, Ruby. Trust me when I say that there is a time and a place for the full story, but tonight is not it. Just...just know that Emma had her reasons for lashing out at me as she did."

"Did...did you do something?" A hint of fear crossed her eyes.

"In our game of cat and mouse, my dear, there was rarely anything done between us that was unprovoked. I will leave it at that, and beg you not to pry further."

"I've got half a bottle of wine swirling around my brain, Regina. It's kinda hard to fight my curiosity right now. She went at you really fucking hard. You must have done something major!"

"I did. And, as you can see, I am paying the price for it." _No good deed goes unpunished, either_ she thought to herself. _I woke the sheriff with my own lips, and this is what I get in return._

"Did you-"

"Ruby. Not tonight," Regina said wearily.

"So... What was going on with you and her in the hospital?"

The mayor paused, trying to decide how to answer that. "I had...a change in perspective."

"Seriously? That's what you're going with?" the young woman raised her own eyebrow in skepticism.

Regina ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "It's difficult to explain. Seeing her there... It was different, and _alarming._ She wasn't pushing all of my buttons, and we weren't fighting for Henry, and..."

"And? And what?"

"I...could talk to her. She was the _only_ person I felt able to share my most intimate thoughts and feelings with in those moments. I felt a connection that wasn't there before. And in her coma...she wasn't demanding. She didn't ask questions like everyone else did. Emma didn't judge me, she didn't look at me with disdain, she...she didn't _run_ , Ruby."

"That's-"

"The most pathetic and bizarre thing you've ever heard?"

"I was gonna say oddly touching, but whatever pops your toast."

"It's more than just being able to vent to her."

"Isn't it always more than just a few things?"

"Indeed. When I went to that cabin... I found a broken woman, a jaded, empty husk of who Emma Swan used to be. If I am being honest with myself, which, it would seem, that tonight is the night for such a thing, I felt pity for her. Pity. For my attacker."

"You did?"

"You didn't?"

"I stopped feeling pity for her when she made it clear how wrapped up in herself she was."

"Yet, all she has is herself, Ruby. She's alone in her head. By the time I had arrived at the cabin, I had had three separate panic attacks. I felt humiliated and powerless, because I was terrified of the woman who laid her hands upon me in such a vicious manner.

"I had every intention of going there to make her suffer. Not physically, no. I felt no need to stoop to her level. And I made a promise to you, dear. I wanted Emma to see the harm she caused. She did. I made sure of that. When I walked through that door, though, the only objective that was on my mind was making Emma Swan suffer.

"It didn't occur to me that she was already suffering. She beat me to it, figuratively speaking. My anger was already in control, though, and I was determined to at least add to her pain. I tried, and of course we argued. But...by the time I left, I knew that I had accomplished nothing. Hurting her more didn't make me feel better. Her agony brought me no joy, and on top of it all... I still couldn't hate her."

"Wow... That's-"

"Disgusting? It's like I have some horrific case of Stockholm Syndrome."

Ruby shrugged a little. "Not exactly..."

"How so?"

"You've got a crush on Emma, Storybrooke's sheriff. The woman stinking up her barfshack? That's not her. Plus, you liked her before she went batshit crazy and went all Conan the Barbarian on you. That exempts you from the whole Stockholm thing, right?"

"Even so, I feel filthy and ashamed for having even the smallest amount of affection for her."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive her?"

"I...don't know. It's hard to say after having seen her only once since..."

"Understandable."

"Why me, Ruby?" Regina asked in a quiet voice. The waitress shot her a questioning look. "I...I thought that you were on Emma's side."

The younger brunette smiled softly. "I'm gonna have to do this a lot, aren't I? Explain why I'm friends with you. Yes, I am close with Em, but that doesn't mean that I can't also be friends with you. You reached out, and I was glad to help. Being friends with Emma doesn't require that I have to hate you and vice versa."

"Why not before? Why didn't you...?"

"You never reached out to anyone. Besides, let's face it, if I had tried to be friendly with you before all of this, would you have accepted my offer of friendship?"

"No..."

"Again, intuition. And that's cool with me. I'm glad that we're friends now."

"As am I, dear."

"Wow, that was an intense share. What do you say to another game of chess? Loser buys the winner a dessert from Granny's?"

Regina wasn't blind to the abrupt change in topic, but she wasn't entirely averse to it either. Ruby was right; it had been another heavy evening between them, and perhaps a break was in order. The older brunette smiled, getting up from the lounge to go the bookcase.

"I hope you're ready to buy me dessert, dear."

"Nuh-uh! No way! I'm totally beating you this time," she challenged while they set up their pieces.

"Your move, Miss Lucas," Regina said, her mischievous smile back in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun, right? Find me on Tumblr and we'll have a chat! I don't bite! Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com and please find my incredible beta, Jasmine! She's snarky, fun, and cool to know! Plus she came up with barfshack, not me :P Find her at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	36. Somewhere To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 2am, and Regina has a tradition to uphold, or so it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! Life got in the way, and I got pretty stuck near the end. I think you guys will really enjoy this chapter with some good one-on-one between Emma and Regina. Thank you all for the comments, follows and favourites! I love you all, and please enjoy!

Regina tore back the covers, feverishly scratching at her throat, chest and biceps. She could still feel the magical cords bound too tightly around her body, and Regina stumbled from the bed, flinging her body toward the master bathroom. One of her palms managed to mash the light switch until it snapped upward. She staggered to the sink counter, bending low over the basin, running the water as cold as it would go.

She sloshed it over her hot, sticky skin, feeling it soothe the nightmare and burning sensation from her body. Unfortunately, the violent, unwelcome emotional trauma caused her stomach to heave, and sharp dribbles of bile slipped from between her lips and caused pain to slice through the gash inside her cheek.

_"How long are you going to let these nightmares haunt you, my love?"_

"They're not exactly simple to fight," Regina bit out after rinsing her mouth with water. She massaged her damp hand over the back of her sweaty neck.

_"Perhaps, but you know that these aren't regular nightmares, Regina."_

"Just as you are no regular delusion, I suppose," she said wearily, glancing up into the mirror, seeing the handsome stable boy a few paces behind her and to the right, smiling softly, but always with an edge of sorrow.

_"Your stubbornness has served you well in the past, but that will not aid you in this future. You must lay your past to rest...like me."_

"How can I, when it is your face I see at every turn, and your voice I hear in all of the silence?"

_"You tell me. You are the one who brought me here."_

"If the past were so easy to cast aside, none of us would be here, Daniel. I just don't see how I can turn from you."

_"By looking to the future, my love. You know the way in which the fates are converging...it's time to grasp what is yours to come."_

Regina reached her hand out, tracing her fingers down the reflection of her late fiancée’s form, leaving staggered, wet smears on the glass. "I don't want to take it, because I love you, Daniel. It's only ever been about you! I don't love her!"

She heard the faint chimes of the clock in foyer floating up through the house. After it played its brief tune, there was a silent pause, followed by two more chimes. Regina rubbed her eyes, careful to keep her fingers clear of the painful contusion adorning her cheek.

_"Two 'o clock."_

"It's late..."

_"Or early... Don't you have somewhere to be?"_

"Yes. My bed."

_"That's not where you used to be found at this hour."_

"There is no need to go back there, Daniel. She's vacated her room...thanks to me."

_"And how did you feel in those moments? In those times spent in that dark room?"_

Regina slumped slightly, squeezing her eyes shut. "I felt...free." She winced, feeling as though she had just betrayed her love and memory of her lost lover yet again.

_"Yes. It has been far too long since I have seen you smile for anyone other than Henry, Regina. But when your touch made her heart race..."_

"It did so to mine as well. I know, and I hate myself for that."

_"I don't. Happiness is all that I have ever wanted for you. If I cannot be the hand that brings it to you, then so be it. But I refuse to let you run from the one who can. It's 2am, Regina. You have somewhere to be."_

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina slowly exited the cover of the woods, killing the lights on her Benz to ensure that she didn't alert the blonde to her arrival. She gathered that the woman was probably a heavy sleeper, but in moments such as the one the mayor found herself in, it was best not to take chances.

She inched the car forward at a snail's pace, wincing slightly every time she heard the gravel crunch or a twig grind underneath her tires. When the infernal yellow bug came into view, illuminated brightly under the light of the waxing moon, the brunette felt tempted to slam on her brakes and turn around. She didn't. Instead, she pulled up along side it, killing the engine.

Many long, silent minutes passed, and Regina sat in her seat, gripping her gloved hands around the steering wheel so hard that it started to get painful. The heat was rapidly leaving the cabin, and she began to see her breath misting in the air. Winter was soon to be upon them.

Regina blew out a long breath, momentarily watching the way the blast of air fanned out in a dull fog against the inside of her windshield. It was 2:27. No more hesitance. She was going to visit the blonde, see that she was still alive, and leave. Simple, clean, easy to follow. Her fingers groped for the handle.

The cool air bit at her nose, and she was grateful that she thought to grab a scarf and gloves along with her wool pea coat - all black. She snuggled her chin into the warm, satiny fabric of the scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, the ends tucked neatly into the front of her jacket. Her low-heeled boots crunched softly into the half-frozen earth.

She paused before rounding the corner of the tiny cabin, letting out another soft exhale, eyeing the swirls her chilled breath formed in the air. The mayor stuck her hands in the pockets of her coat, taking those few steps around the side of the building to see the rickety front porch.

Regina stopped, rooted to the ground, staring open-mouthed ahead of her. All the lights inside were off, the cabin lit only by moonlight. However, it was what was on the porch steps that had the brunette frozen like a deer in headlights.

She saw none other than the flaxen-haired sheriff, sitting on the steps, hands clasped together, forearms resting on her thighs, staring wordlessly out across the lake before her. The lunar light cast Emma's pale skin aglow, her blonde locks almost bleached looking under the pale wash of the moon. Her hideous, red leather jacket stuck out brightly against the blunted colors of the environment around her.

Regina watched as small puffs of air misted languidly around the blonde's face, and she knew she shouldn't stand there staring. Her dark attire afforded her a better disguise in the night than the Savior's, but if the woman bothered to take even a half-decent look her way, the brunette knew she'd be caught.

The universe had a unique way of messing with her. Emma was supposed to be asleep, sprawled out somewhere within the cabin. Regina was supposed to sneak in, pay her visit and leave. Why was the other woman awake? A rather hypocritical question to ask, considering her own state of consciousness, but Regina had simply failed to take into account the consequences of the possibility that Emma wasn't sleeping.

Tears were already tracking their way down her cheeks, offering only a moment of heat before the chill stole it away. She didn't want to see Emma awake. She didn't want to deal with the tempestuous woman. A sleeping Savior would be easier to handle, and even easier to pretend as though she were still under the Sleeping Curse. Her breathing was short and ragged, panic quickly seizing her, not unlike the way the sheriff did not so long ago.

A choked gasp involuntarily escaped her throat, and fingers pressed immediately to her lips. She saw the slight tilt of a blonde head, and dashed to hide along the side of the cabin, not wanting to know if she had been caught or not. She pressed her back against the bulbous curves of the logs that made up the siding, jamming her leather-clad knuckles into her mouth to try and keep quiet. Her knees gave, and the mayor landed softly in the dewy tufts of grass growing around the edges of the building.

She bit down harder, unable to fight the sobs consuming her, feeling a slight pinching pain in her hand. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Why had she been such a fool to listen to a hallucination, to be so weak as to give in to her perverse feelings?

Regina stared out ahead of her, but she didn't see moonlit forest stretching before her. She saw enraged, emerald eyes, white teeth flashing under thin lips, felt clammy, trembling fingers crushing her throat. The brunette clawed at digits that weren't there, tears flowing freely over skin twisted into a mask of terrified pleading, desperate for release.

Regina felt Emma's hot breath filling her gasping mouth and flared nostrils. She begged, _begged_ to be let go, to be allowed to breathe again, and the mayor found her hands clamping over her ears, hearing the ragged roar of the blonde's words echoing in her mind.

_"YOU'RE A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC LUNATIC! YOU TRIED TO FUCKING_ _KILL_ _ME, YOU MURDEROUS ASSHOLE!"_

"No...no...no...no," she gasped, hands still trying to block out the cacophony deafening her ears. Everything was so loud, and so muffled, Regina didn't hear the quiet, stilted thump of boots around the corner.

_" _YOU'RE FUCKING EVIL, REGINA. AND THIS TIME, EVIL NEEDS TO_ **DIE** _!_ "_

"Emma, stop!" she managed to bark weakly. "Please..." Regina pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead in the little crevice between them, wheezing out thick coughs and moans.

"Please... H-Henry needs..." The brunette shook with silent sobs, too tired, sore, and aggrieved to vocalize any more.

Emma sat just around the corner, eyes wet and pressed into the heels of her palms. She paid no mind to the tears splashing onto her thighs or tickling down her throat as they descended her jaw and neck. She brought her right arm around until her hand clasped at the back of her own neck, burying her mouth into the crook of her arm. She was trying so hard not to sniffle too loudly, that she missed the last line of what Regina was babbling about.

"I need you..." the mayor rasped into her knees.

Emma wiped some snot from her nose, drying her eyes on the collar of her shirt. She tilted her head back, resting it against the cool wood. "What the fuck have I done?"

Regina gasped, flinching upon hearing the voice without the body. Frustrated with the onslaught of hallucinations she's had to deal with, she angrily snapped out, "Go away!"

Emma took another steadying breath and leaned around the corner. She saw the mayor sitting on the ground, legs pulled up to her chest, one gloved hand scrubbing at her eyes, the other clenched in a fist atop her knee. Regina turned her head, glaring hard at the blonde. Even in the dim light of the moon, Emma could see in those darkened eyes a lack of focus, haunted, distant even. She only recognized it from having seen it in her own once-hollow gaze many years prior.

"That is not leaving, Miss Swan! None of you seem to listen to me when I need you to."

"Apologies, Madame Mayor, but it is you who is on my ground."

Regina scoffed bitterly. "Please...You are in _my_ office, dear. You've stepped into my territory."

"Regina, we're not..."

"What do you want from me, Miss Swan? What torture do you plan to inflict this time? Can I have no rest from you? It's all that everyone has for me! Demands, tricking me into speaking the truth, tormenting me with that which I cannot have, and all that I ever wanted..."

Emma recognized that the woman was rambling again, lost in whatever reality she seemed to be trapped in. Maybe if she asked her the right questions, she could steer her back to the present? "Regina, why are you awake? It's late as balls."

"Or early," came the quiet response.

Emma blinked, too exhausted to even work out that simple turn of phrase. "And why are you here?"

"You know exactly why I'm here. All of you know the answers to your own questions! 'It's 2am, Regina. You have somewhere to be,'" she recited from earlier.

"I don't know what that means," Emma said bluntly.

"Yes you do. I'm tired of all of these games. What else did you want to shove in my face tonight, Miss Swan?"

The blonde wracked her brain for something to ask, and due to her tiredness, it took her longer than usual to come to the question that had been nagging at her for days on end. "Did you visit me in the hospital?"

"As dim as the real thing. You know the answer."

"Yes, but...I want to hear you say it."

"What good would that do, dear?"

"What've you got to lose?"

Regina's eyes narrowed at the sheriff who had slowly inched her way around the corner. Emma situated perpendicular to her, sitting cross-legged in the gravel. "Yes."

"Really?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"I've been having these dreams...nightmares really. Every night since the coma thing. Actually...even when I was in the coma, I had the worst fucking nightmares I've ever had in my life. It was like I was being made to relive all of my mistakes and regrets over and over again.

"But here's the thing. There were these moments when it wasn't bad. There were these moments when the dreams stopped, and I felt...okay. When I was in the coma, during those moments, it was just blank periods of nothingness, which was a godsend in comparison to what was usually happening in my head.

"However...after I woke up, I was still having those scary fucking nightmares, but there's a kind of...I d'know, presence? That kinda makes it better. It was a kind of shadow thing, and I know you're gonna laugh, but I called him my Dream Savior. Lately, though, I have reason to believe that it's you.

"My Dream Savior would say things, and I could never understand him. They were just muffled, garbled murmurings, but I knew he was saying something comforting...something sweet, because I felt _safe_. And whenever he touched me, almost always just my hand, but occasionally my face too, I would feel warm again. I haven't been able to feel warm since before the coma. But lately...my Dream Savior has had _your_ voice, Regina. And tonight...tonight it had your _face._ What is that about?"

"I'm sorry...what?" Regina stared intently at the other woman, a slight crease between her brows.

"It's why I couldn't sleep tonight," Emma answered plainly.

"You couldn't...s-sleep?" Regina's frown deepened.

Emma had begun to catch on to the brunette's reason for speaking so honestly to her - or, as honest as the woman would get with her. "Regina? Why do you think I'm a hallucination?"

"Why do you think you're not? I'm alone...it's dark. What perfect circumstances for causing me more pain, don't you think? It always happens when I'm alone..."

"You see me?" Emma's frown was beginning to match her visitor's.

"Not usually, no... This would be the first time."

Emma nodded, the corner of her mouth turning upward. "Seems that tonight's the night for firsts, regarding each other, that is."

"So it would seem. Usually when one of you show up, the air gets warmer."

The blonde thought back on that same phenomenon happening every time Graham made his presence known. She felt like that should surprise her, but instead felt only a sense of understanding instead.

Regina scrutinized her even more intensely. She leaned to the side, closer to the blonde, and then paused, as though waiting for something. "I don't feel it," she murmured.

Emma leaned forward on her forearms, barely speaking above a whisper, "Feel what?"

The brunette scooted a little closer, now only a couple short feet between them, still frowning deeply. "That sensation," she whispered. "Tingling...warm...just, a feeling. Unique. The closer I get, the stronger it becomes. But I'm getting closer, Emma." There was now barely a foot between the two women.

"And what about right now?" Emma's eyes searched the brunette's face, eager to know more of the inner-workings of the complex mayor's guarded mind.

"Cold," Regina said quietly.

"Yeah, I'm always cold these days. Maybe I've got brain damage from that stupid coma?" Emma joked meekly.

"I'm sorry," Regina breathed morosely. "I didn't want that for you...I miss your warmth." She brought up her free hand, cupping Emma's cheek. Her blood ran cold.

The blonde unconsciously leaned into the touch, gasping at the marvelous heat blooming outward from the tips of the mayor's fingers, rippling all the way down to her ten, chilly toes. She brought her own hand up to cover the back of the one caressing her face.

"I'm _touching_ you," Regina said in horror, shuddering at the familiar chilly sensation of the Savior's flesh against her own. Emma only hummed in contentment, soaking up the feeling of heat in her body once more, not caring as to why the woman's touch would do that to her body.

The mayor withdrew her hand as though she had been stung, pressing the closed fingers against her chest, cradling it with her other hand. "You're...you're _real?_ "

"Yes."

Regina jerked backward, scrambling away. Emma made no move to give chase, but held up her hands in cautious surrender, trying to show that she was no threat.

"Don't come any c-closer!" the mayor tried to command, but it came out as more of a terrified shriek.

"Okay," came Emma's hurried response.

"Are you going to h-hurt me?" Fresh tears stained her blanched face.

"No, Regina! God no-"

"How much did you hear?!"

"What? I don't...?"

" _How. Much?_ "

"Everything!" the sheriff blurted.

Regina's hand clasped over her mouth, eyes wide and flitting back and forth, unseeing. She started muttering a constant string of, "No, no, no, no, no." under her breath, chest heaving with short, ragged gasps. Emma saw the signs of a new panic attack, and slowly took a crouched step forward.

The brunette did not miss the advance, and uttered a small rasp of terror that was supposed to be a scream before actually scrambling to her feet, trying to run to her car. The blonde remained rooted to her spot, unable to decide whether or not to pursue her guest. She cringed when she saw Regina bent, doubled over, hearing the tell-tale coughing of someone emptying the contents of their stomach - something the sheriff had become overly familiar with.

Regina clutched at her abdomen, throbbing pain making her vision swim with hot tears and little white spots. She spit the bile from her mouth in a most uncouth manner, continuing her short trek to the Mercedes, fumbling for her keys in her coat pocket. Her fingers trembled so fiercely that she heard the little bundle clink against the gravel near the front, driver's-side tire.

She cursed loudly, slamming her fists above the window on the Benz, leaning forward and resting her forehead against the cool metal, letting her tears flow freely. She wished she could stay like that for a long while, or at least until her weeping stopped, but Emma was still close. Too close.

She pulled her head away and turned to look at the ground for her keys, but she saw a pale hand swiping them up with a soft scrape of metal on rock. Emma backed up a couple of short paces, leaning heavily on her cane, a sheepish, unsure expression across her scabbed face. Her eyes brimmed with insecurity and... _concern?_ Both women stood completely still, staring at each other, each tensed like an animal ready to flee.

"Here," Emma said, and she extended her arm, holding out her index finger, the keyring dangling from it, glinting in the dim moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to extend an enormous, squishy thanks to my best Beta, Jasmine. She really gave me all of the inspiration for this chapter. You can find her awesome self at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and please find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com I love to chat, so don't be shy with anything!


	37. Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina take the time to talk a little bit more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say more Swan Queen? Here it is! And thank you all so much for all of the lovely comments, likes and follows! They really keep me motivated in writing this piece. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I think you'll all enjoy this chapter a lot!

Regina cautiously regarded Emma, almost as though she was weighing the pros and cons of simply ignoring the proffered keys and taking off on foot. Emma offered a weak smile, extending her hand just a little farther, and she waited patiently as she watched fearful, brown eyes dart between her own and her hand.

"I'm not gonna bite. I swear, but would you rather I dropped them for you instead?" A gloved hand darted out, lifting the keyring from her finger, and Emma let her arm drop, smiling a little more. "See? I didn't hurt you."

"I know that!" the mayor snapped back.

"Regina...I-"

"No. Stop, please. I can't." Regina looked away, clenching her jaw tightly, but made no move to leave either.

Emma shifted a little, getting her hand in a more comfortable position atop the cane. "Can't what?"

"I can't...can't hear another apology. I can't..." Even in the dim light of the moon, the blonde could see tears of shame shining in her eyes.

"If you won't let me apologize for all the messed up shit I pulled, then I don't know how to fix this."

"Perhaps you can't fix this, Miss Swan." Regina's shoulders lost some of their rigid composure.

"Then what am I supposed to do, huh? I can't stay out here forever!"

"You're right; you can't. But I fail to see how that's my problem."

Emma shot an annoyed look at the other woman. "So what? I'm supposed to come back to town and turn myself in?"

"A sheriff should abide by the law, but I don't think that's ever been your forte, dear. However, the longer you stay a wanted woman, I believe the worse things get. It's your choice."

"My choice, huh? How come you haven't turned me in then?"

Regina froze, the air suddenly a little too thick, and the question hung between them as it waited for an answer. But, the silence stretched on, and Emma stood, smirking a little, almost proud of her trump card, while Regina unconsciously worried at her loose tooth.

"Cat got your tongue, Madame Mayor?"

"Not at all, dear."

"Then answer the question. You've known about my location for weeks now, and yet you haven't had David storm the place. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you, or us, but I've never been so lost before."

Regina narrowed her eyes. "Why haven't you run? It is, after all, your trademark. Why didn't you find a new hideout once I found you? Why take the risk?"

"Nuh-uh, you're deflecting. Answer the question, Regina!"

"Not until I know why you didn't flee like the coward you've been your whole life!"

Emma's eyes flashed dangerously, and the brunette flinched, stumbling back several steps. She was reminded of the look she saw in those emerald eyes not too long ago in her own office. The blonde, though upset at the effect she was now having on the older woman, did not back down.

"Don't you fucking _dare_ call me a coward! You have _no_ idea what I've fucking been through in my life, and you have no fucking right to judge me! If you had even the slightest inkling of what I've endured all these years, you'd know _exactly_ why I ran! If you ever call me a coward again-"

"You'll what!" Regina retorted. "Put me in my place again! Beat me senseless! Maybe you'll get the results you wanted this time!"

"No! Fuck! You're twisting my words again! That's not what I meant!"

"Oh, just like you didn't mean to nearly kill me the first time?!" the brunette shouted, tears falling down her face again.

Emma's own expression crumpled, and she burst into thick sobs, startling the mayor from her angry rant. "Why, Regina? W-Why do we do th-is?" The blonde slumped against the side of the Benz, sliding down into the gravel. "I d-don't know who I am, and I never w-wanted to do this!"

Still shocked, Regina knelt down as well, unable to do much but mirror the blonde. "Emma..."

"God, I f-fucked up so fucking bad! And Regina...I'm s-so fucking _sorry!_ You d-don't even know how sorry I am, do you? I'm a f-fucking monster!" Emma buried her face into her hands, sobbing uncontrollably, barely managing to take the ragged breaths escaping her chest. "I c-can't let you tell me not t-to apologize, 'cause k-keeping this is k-killing me... Is...is it kill-ing you too?"

There was a short pause, and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Emma's weeping mingled with the chirping crickets. "Yes," Regina murmured. "I am exhausted."

The blonde looked up at her with a look of desperation. "Th-then why can't we just..."

"Move on?"

Emma shook her head. "N-No. I don't think you could ever l-let this go...at least, n-not this soon. But...can't we talk or something?"

Regina let out a soft exhale of sad laughter. She now sat to Emma's left in a position identical to that of the sheriff: back against the driver's side door of the car, knees pulled up, forearms draped across them, and hands clasped at the front.

"Talk, huh? I'm not sure it's quite so simple..." she said softly, and the glint of tears falling caught her own red eyes.

"It never is, but you're a f-fool to think that I d-don't know. Here," she held out her right hand to the brunette. "Go on, take a look."

The mayor cautiously took the hand in her leather-clad fingers, turning it so the moonlight showed brightest on pale skin. The knuckles were all purpled; one appeared slightly inflamed. She saw in the poor light the hint of scabs where her skin had split open.

"I was _there,_ Regina. I know how badly I hurt you..."

"I know," she whispered.

"Press on them," Emma urged quietly. Brown eyes silently searched hers, looking for an answer to the curious command. "Just...just t-trust me. I know that's s-selfish of me to ask, but...please."

Reluctantly, Regina skated her thumb up a slender index finger until it hovered over one bruised knuckle. She moved her gaze to the other woman's, and bit the inside of her lip when she saw her own look returned. The Savior wasn't staring at their hands; she was staring at her, and that unnerved the mayor immensely.

She received another silent urge, and Regina waited a breath before pressing her thumb down. Emma hissed in pain, and almost jerked her hand away. The brunette, startled, immediately pulled her own hands away, looking at the blonde with a mixture of disgust, horror and sadness.

"How do you feel now?" Emma quietly inquired.

"I...don't understand."

"Now that you've...hurt me a little, how do you feel?"

"You _wanted_ me to hurt you?"

"Well, if we can't talk, maybe I can start to even things out again. Little by little, you can hurt me and my body...just as I did yours."

A deep scowl darkened Regina's expression. "You think that, by letting me poke and prod your boo-boos a few dozen times will 'even things out?' You are _sorely_ mistaken."

"So...you didn't feel any better from that? It didn't help any?"

Regina shot her a withering look. "No. Why on earth would you think it would benefit me in any way?"

"I just thought, maybe if you got to hurt me back...eye for eye or whatever..."

"You shouldn't think too much, dear. It doesn't suit you. That tactic might have worked on me...before Henry. He's changed me, as I am certain you are aware of his abilities to do so. As for the eye for an eye? I don't think I would have to tell you that I would need to do a significant amount of damage to you to put us on equal footing. However, I don't see how hospitalizing you would help any."

Emma fixed her with a sad look, lingering tears still shining in her eyes. "Then what would?"

Regina paused for a moment. "What makes you think that I know? Why do you think I have all the answers?"

"For one thing, I'm at your mercy, Regina. Not the other way around. I'm the one who hurt you; therefore, you're the only one who can determine what helps or hinders us in this whole shitfest. Secondly, you're always the one with the answers. You've always got your story straight, usually with witnesses and evidence to boot. You're always one step ahead, so I think it's safe for me to assume that you have the answers."

The mayor fixed the other woman with a shrewd expression, carefully considering those words. Her lips tilted upward in the smallest of smiles. "That might have been the most sensible thing I have ever heard you say, Miss Swan. Unfortunately, I have no answers for you right now."

"Right now? Does that mean...if you think of any way that I can start to pay for what I've done, you'll tell me?"

"Perhaps, but don't expect me to put an abundance of thought into it," Regina replied thoughtfully, and Emma's lie detector pinged quietly in her head.

"I don't have much choice but to accept, I guess." Emma worried her lip, glancing between her wringing hands and the mayor. "Regina? I need to know. Why? Why haven't you turned me in? And please, don't lie. I can always tell. I just want...a little bit of truth."

The brunette looked away, repeatedly clenching her jaw and arching an eyebrow in frustration. "The truth?"

"Mhm. The truth." she echoed.

"There's no easy way to fix this, but I think you already know that. However; if I turned you in..." She huffed out an irritated breath. "There would be absolutely no way to fix this with bars between us."

Emma's jaw dropped. "You _want_ to fix this? To give me a chance?"

"For Henry's sake!" the mayor snapped back. Emma registered a partial lie to her statement.

"Can...can I show you something?" Emma asked, the higher pitch of her voice revealing her insecurity.

"I have no desire to see any more of your bodily injuries, Miss Swan."

"I have no doubt, Regina, but that's not what I wanna show you. It's not something I go around showing just anyone, and it's kinda personal."

"Do I want to know?"

"Yes, actually. I think you'll want to see this. It's in the cabin. If you give me a minute, I'll get it. Um...don't run off, but...if you do, I won't stop you either."

"Should I be running?"

"Your choice, Regina. I told you, the ball's in your court now. I'll play by your rules. I'll be right back, and I hope you'll be here when I return."

Emma rose from the ground, struggling a little, and leaning heavily on her cane again. She made to move off to the cabin, but she paused and looked over her shoulder. Regina could tell she was making sure that she was still there, even though it had only been moments since she had asked her not to leave. It was somehow endearing, and the two just stared at each other for a moment before the woman turned to go get whatever it was she wanted to show her.

Regina debated using the opportunity to actually leave. Her entire plan for the evening had been utterly ruined, and she felt as though she had drastically overstayed her welcome for the time being. And yet...Emma wasn't sending her away. In fact, she implored her to stay.

The brunette ran a hand through her hair. It was true: she did want to give Emma a chance, and she hated herself for that. She felt a deep-rooted disgust roiling in her belly, and she wished that she could just leave. However, she couldn't. If they kept running from each other at every turn, at every opportunity to start repairing anything, then they truly would go nowhere.

Her tumultuous thoughts kept her busy - and still - until she heard the crunch of gravel close by. When the Savior came into view, she had one hand on her cane, and the other carrying a bundle roughly the size of a small sack of flower. What truly caught her attention was the way that Emma wasn't just carrying the thing; she was _cradling_ it.

She plopped back down beside the mayor, still carefully carrying the object in her arms. Closer, Regina was able to see that it was something fuzzy, and bi-colored - black and grey? Emma flashed her a shy smile, which was warm and almost child-like.

"This is Erika." She gestured to the object tucked carefully in her arm like an infant.

"What exactly is Erika?" Regina asked skeptically, peering down at it.

"Here, you can hold her, but...be super careful, okay? She's just about as old as I am." Emma extended the thing out to the older woman.

Gingerly, Regina grasped it, and it flopped a little in her hands. When she examined it closely, she found it to be an extremely worn, slightly dirty, stuffed panda. It was so old that the stuffing inside of her had gotten all compressed and lumpy, but her face, all white fur grey with age and dirt, had a sweet, comforting look to it. It reminded her a lot of Stuffles.

"A stuffed animal?"

"Hey," Emma said defensively. "She's not just any stuffed animal, okay? Erika is very special!"

Regina smiled a little to herself, but it didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. "I suppose she has a story that you're willing to tell?" She passed the panda back to her owner.

"If...if you don't mind hearing it." The blonde pressed her furry companion to her chest.

"You said you thought I needed to see this. Do I really have anything else I should be doing?"

"I d'know. Sleeping? Midnight snack? Antagonizing me some more?" Emma teased.

"Tempting, dear. Truly tempting, but a midnight story sounds better than a midnight snack."

Emma smiled at the subtle encouragement she got, and looked down at Erika before returning her focus to the mayor. "I have my baby blanket still...from when I was found by the road. Most people would take comfort in having that little piece of their family, and I suppose I did at times, but...it just reminded me of more pain than it did joy. And it left me with more questions than it did answers.

"It's not a store-bought blanket. I can tell that it was made by hand. So, why would my mother go through all the trouble and care of making me a blanket with my own name stitched into it, just to abandon me? So I kept it, but didn't really feel about it the way that I feel about Erika."

"When did you get her?" Regina asked lightly.

"My last name: Swan. I got that from the first family that adopted me when I was just a baby. They got her for me. I don't know where or why. Trip to the zoo? Christmas? Who knows, but apparently I wouldn't let her go. I wouldn't sleep without her, leave my bedroom or even the house without her. I heard from my social worker that they said I would cry and cry if they took Erika from me for washing or something.

"So when they sent me back into the system, they made it very clear that she was to stay with me. They told the people working there that I would make their lives a living hell if they took the panda from me. I've had her ever since. She's my safety blanket, y'know? I know that it's kinda stupid; a grown woman with a stuffed animal..."

"It's not stupid," Regina interrupted.

"You're kidding, right? You, Regina Mills of all people, aren't jumping down my throat and telling me how immature I am?"

"If you so desire, I can do those things."

"N-No, that's okay, but...why? Why don't you think I'm a freak or something?"

Regina turned an honest gaze to the blonde. "If I did, that would make me quite the hypocrite."

"What? Do you mean you...?"

"Have a small, stuffed friend of my own? Yes."

Emma bit her lip, stifling a tiny giggle. "Seriously? C'mon, tell me!"

"Not so sure you want to hear it right now."

"I just told you about Erika! Now you gotta tell me about yours!"

"Your story was...endearing. Mine is a little less so."

"I think I can handle it, but...if you can't, I won't make you tell me. Like I said, I'm at your mercy."

Regina took a deep breath, nodding at the words. "Stuffles," she said, not looking at the blonde.

"What was that?"

"Stuffles. His name is Stuffles."

"Did you-"

"Come up with that? No. I got him for Henry when he was about three, maybe three and a half? He was entirely enamored with _The Lion King._ He would run around, positively screaming The Circle of Life. Of course, he didn't really know all the words, and he...well, he spoke like a three year old. So he mostly garbled out the words to the basic tune and rhythm of the song.

"I took him shopping one day, and he spotted this stuffed lion on one of the toy shelves, and I thought he had gone ballistic. He started shrieking, and bouncing up and down, clapping so wildly. I believe, Miss Swan, that you understand how difficult it is to say no to Henry?"

"Almost impossible," Emma agreed.

"Well, it was completely impossible when he had those chubby, rosy cheeks, and that big, toothy grin of his." Regina looked out into the woods, smiling with nostalgia at the memories of her young son.

"I don't think anyone could blame you for giving in to a face like that, Regina."

"Naturally, I bought it for him. I don't remember how he came to the name Stuffles, but it stuck. He carried him around in his little hands for months, slept with him every night played with him every day. But, like all things young children fancy, he had moved on to something else, but he always did keep that lion close by.

"After you..."

"Attacked you?" Emma offered, ashamed.

"Yes. I was...not okay. But, I had Henry to worry about. I didn't want him to see me in the state I was. He tried, though. To talk, to get to me, but I was too scared of how he'd react when he saw me. It is remarkable how often we underestimate a child's capacity to understand and sympathize.

"He was kind to me, and didn't push too hard. But...he didn't want to leave me alone, either. He ran to his room and brought out Stuffles. He told me that that little lion had always protected him when he was scared or sad, and wanted me to have him when he himself couldn't be there for me.

"I...I was so touched by the gesture, by his need to protect me, that I did indeed take Stuffles with me. I was skeptical of the ability for anything so simple as a stuffed animal to help me, but..."

"He did, didn't he? It's almost unnerving the effect they can have, isn't it?"

Regina stared back at the woman, shocked by the understanding that seemed to pass between them. "Yes...he did. That little, stuffed lion helped to curb multiple panic attacks."

Emma flushed, looking away in embarrassment. "I'm sorry..."

"Please, d-"

"No. Don't tell me not to apologize. Seriously. How can I not? If anything, just let me have my apologies. Please."

"I've known you long enough to be well-acquainted with your stubbornness. Even if I tell you no, as I already have on several occasions this evening alone, you will continue to do so."

"So, that's a yes?" Emma asked, hopeful, and Regina nodded her head once in acquiescence. "Thank you, Regina. Really."

"You're welcome, I suppose."

"Will you bring him?"

Regina's eyes widened. "Who? Bring who?"

"Oh! Not Henry. No, I mean, I'd love to see the kid, but it's not the time for that. I meant Stuffles. Would you bring him next time?"

"Next time? Presumptuous aren't we?"

"No, I just know that you'll be back," Emma said plainly.

"And how do you come to be privileged with such knowledge?"

"I'd call it a hunch, but...you _do_ want to give me a chance to start making things right. To do that, you have to be here at least some of the time."

"Indeed."

"So will you?"

"Will I what, dear?"

"Bring Stuffles? I wanna meet him. I wanna meet the one who can protect you even when you're alone."

"Why would you need to do that?"

"To look the little guy in the eye and judge his character," the blonde smiled.

"What happens if you don't like what you see?"

"I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree. If he's a good protector for you, then I have no reason to give any negative feedback."

"I can't believe," Regina huffed. "That after all that has transpired between us, I cannot believe that we are sitting here, 3am, talking about stuffed animals."

"You imagined different, huh?"

"Didn't you?"

"Well, I can't say that I imagined a visit from you in the middle of the night. Why are you here at this hour anyway?"

Regina tensed noticeably, and Emma was afraid that she had just ruined whatever flow had finally come between them. "You're not the only one who cannot rest easy, Miss Swan. I felt...trapped? I left the house, but I came here for some reason," she explained evenly. Emma's lie detector pinged again, but again, she ignored it, not willing to push too far that evening.

"Well...I guess I'm kinda glad you came."

Regina choked. "You _what?_ "

"Yeah, weird, I know. But...if you hadn't come here, we wouldn't be... _talking._ Regina, we're actually talking, communicating. Before, it was...well, you know... So yeah, I'm actually pretty glad you came here tonight, and that things went the way they did. Is that totally crazy?"

"Yes, it is totally crazy, dear. But then again, this is an unusual circumstance, to say the least. I think that it's safe to say we should expect to see more than a little crazy at this time." Regina yawned loudly.

"You are tired. You should get home, and don't fall asleep at the wheel."

"Are you kicking me out, Sheriff?"

"Only for the greater good. Can't run the town if you're burnt out, right?"

Regina frowned deeply. "This is the most bizarre night of my life, and, considering the course of my life, that is saying something."

"You said bizarre and not, I d'know, dreadful or something."

"You would be correct, dear." Emma simply smirked, hugging Erika a little closer. "There is no way to part tonight without it being awkward, is there?"

"Nope, but I...well, get home safe, okay?"

"I will do my best, dear. Thank you, by the way. For sharing Erika with me. And...I will bring Stuffles next time."

"Next time," Emma echoed with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, a nice big thanks to Jasmine, my bestest Beta in the whole world! Find her sassiness on Tumblr at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and you can find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


	38. I have my Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina makes a bold step in her path toward recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update has taken so long! Life really got in the way in a less-than-pleasant manner. However, I think you'll find this chapter very satisfying, and quite revealing in our Queen's character and progress. Your response to this story has been phenomenal, and I love you all for your follows, favs, and reviews! Enjoy!

Henry thumped down the stairs, carrying the books and homework sheets that he took into his room the night before. He left them by his backpack, as he always did, before heading to the kitchen for his breakfast. Since the incident between his mothers, Regina had been almost entirely absent in the mornings. He didn't mind her making sure that he was ready and fed before school, but he also didn't mind the new independence he was given under the circumstances.

He hummed quietly to himself, thinking of maybe having some Poptarts and milk for breakfast, but he stopped cold when he entered the kitchen. Regina was sitting at the island counter, coffee in front of her, and a book of crosswords in one hand. Her reading glasses were perched on her nose, and she looked...

"Mom?" Henry said.

The brunette looked up, a small smile on her lips. "Good morning, dear."

"You're...you..." he stammered.

"What?" the brunette asked, and small crease forming between her eyebrows.

"You look...different. You look...better?" he offered, completely failing at trying to put his thoughts into words.

Indeed she did look different. She still wore one of the countless turtlenecks that she seemed to own - this one, royal navy - but there was definitely something else. Her hair was styled, instead of flat and slightly disheveled as it had been of late, and a light application of makeup accented her features. But it was what lay beneath the makeup that caught the boy's eye.

As if by magic, the swelling in her face had reduced drastically, the bruises no longer as bright. The scab that constantly split open on her lip seemed smaller, and her posture wasn't nearly as rigid with pain as it used to be. Though deep shadows fanned out from under her lashes, her eyes didn't seem quite as haunted as they did before. In fact, to Henry, it looked as though she had done all the healing her body was supposed to be doing these past several weeks all in one night. The transformation was astonishing, to say the least.

Regina frowned thoughtfully at her son's words. "I feel...different," she said slowly.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," she responded lightly, though she had her suspicions - not that she'd let Henry know for the time being.

"You looked like all your bruises and stuff were fresh yesterday, and now...weird."

"Indeed," the brunette agreed. "Perhaps you can ask about healing processes in the body in your science class today." Henry made a face at her suggestion. "Or not. My body may have simply needed time to properly recuperate before any noticeable healing could take place?"

The boy shrugged. "Maybe." He started moving to the pantry to get himself some food.

"Would you like me to make you some breakfast, dear? Eggs?" Regina eyed her son carefully and hopefully.

"I'd like that, but I don't have much of an appetite in the mornings now. But thanks for offering. Maybe tomorrow morning?" he said with a sympathetic look.

"Why is your appetite off? Should I take you to see Dr Whale?"

"No, nothing dire, Mom. Promise." He came back from the pantry with a little silver packet of Poptarts, and made for the refrigerator for orange juice, instead of milk. He shrugged again before saying, "I d'know, just not hungry lately. At least not in the mornings." he added hastily, seeing the alarmed look on his mother's face.

"This has been terribly unfair to you," Regina whispered. "You're not hungry because you're upset. Because you're angry with Emma and what she did to me. You're upset about...everything. It's my fault, and I am so very sorry you've had to bear these burdens, Henry."

The boy sat down opposite the woman. "I know you don't have Emma's super power, but I don't think you'd believe me if I said none of that stuff was true."

Regina's frown deepened. "If I hadn't been so selfish, and angry, and afraid..."

Henry reached over and took one of his mother's clammy hands. "You're talking about the turnover thing, right?" The brunette nodded in the affirmative. "Yeah, I think you definitely over reacted on that one."

"Henry..."

"Lemme finish, okay? That was really bad, what you did to her. I was really mad, Mom. _Really_ mad."

"I know. I don't deserve your forgiveness, or even you being rational and understanding in any way."

"Well, I thought so too. But...things are different."

Regina looked away, sadly. "They're only different because I was the key to you getting Emma back. If it had been anyone else-"

"It would've taken me longer to remember who you were and are. Being Emma's True Love kinda sped up that process," he said sheepishly, and both mother and son blushed, but for different reasons. "I know this sounds pretty crazy, but I've been thinking about it a lot, and... I guess, in a way, I'm kinda glad you poisoned Emma."

Regina's jaw dropped. "You're... _what?_ "

Henry flushed deeply, squirming a little in his seat. "I know this is gonna sound strange, but...if you hadn't poisoned her, then Emma would've left."

The woman regarded her son carefully, holding his steady gaze before answering slowly. "I suppose, but she wouldn't have stayed away forever. As loathe as I am to admit this, but she loves you very much. I don't think she'd have been able to stay away."

"If she loves me, then how come she hurt you?" he asked with a darkening expression.

Regina cocked her head. "I'm not sure I understand the connection you're trying to make."

"C'mon. She had to know that if she hurt you, it'd hurt me too."

"I'm not so sure that she did..."

"What do you mean?"

"Henry, from the night that you found her, she came here, to Storybrooke with the impression that you despised me." Henry gave her an apologetic look and fiddled with his Poptarts. "When she woke up, that still held true to an extent. And when she got her memories back...Emma got scared, and she believed she was protecting you from me."

Henry narrowed his eyes at his mother. "How do you know what she was thinking?"

"Because, as a mother, I would have thought much the same. Naturally, I wouldn't have done what she did, but, to an extent, I can understand where she was coming from."

"I don't get it," he huffed. "You're acting so weird this morning!"

"Henry!" Regina scolded.

"Sorry! But, you're just being so calm and stuff about this. I'm not used to you not freaking out at the mention of Emma. I'm not complaining," he added quickly. "I don't like seeing you upset, but this feels really sudden and kinda out of the blue. Did something happen?"

"Time heals all wounds, Henry."

He narrowed his eyes again. "Fine, don't tell me, but I know that something's up."

"You're a smart boy, dear," Regina responded lightly, and her son made a face. "Eat up. I don't want you to be late for school."

Henry brought one of his pastries up to his mouth, but paused right before his teeth sunk into it. "How come, when I said that Emma was your True Love a few minutes ago, you didn't deny it? Usually you rush to tell me it's not true."

Regina paled, completely taken aback by the question, and her son's bluntness. "Perhaps it's just getting too tiring to keep fighting you on it, Henry."

The boy turned a sad gaze down to the countertop. "I thought we were gonna be honest and stuff with each other from now on. But now, you're keeping secrets and lying again."

"Henry-"

"Don't. I know you've probably got reasons for doing it, and I'm sure they're for adults only or something. I just...I understand more than you think I do."

Regina scooped up Henry's hands in her own. "Of course you understand so much, dear." She squeezed his hands, looking right into his hazel eyes that looked so much like his birth mother's. "This time, it's not about whether or not you would understand. I want to tell you...I really do, but I know that you're not ready yet."

"Mom! I can handle-" He was halted by a look and a single nod.

"I know you can handle many things, but trust me on this when I say that I know you're simply not ready. What is happening is extraordinarily complicated, and timing is everything right now. I _promise_ that I will tell you when the time is right, but that's not today."

Henry looked at her, unsure, trying to gauge the truth in her words. "You promise? You'll tell me?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay," he relented softly.

"Thank you," she said, and regarded him almost sadly.

"What? What's wrong?"

Regina shook her head slightly, focusing properly on him. "Sometimes I forget how much you've grown. Go on, finish your breakfast."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, dear. I daresay that I will be just fine, today," she smiled warmly at him.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The bell overhead chimed her entrance into the dingy shop, and she wrinkled her nose with distaste, as she was prone to do. Regina cast her sharp gaze around the main floor, and saw no sign of the slippery proprietor. However, she was not left wondering for very long, as he emerged from the back room.

Gold was wearing his usual knowing smirk, and he casually buttoned his blazer as he positioned himself behind the counter. The mayor strode purposefully into the shop, pulling her hands from the pockets of her black pea coat. Both stood silently across from each other, trying to determine who would make the first move.

"Why, Regina. You look as if you have been born again," he said in his oily tone.

"It's a shame the same can't be said for you," she lazily threw back.

"The monster is once again being concealed behind your pretty face. May I say, what a lovely scarf you're wearing. Still trying to hide some of that ugliness, dearie?"

The brunette's expression soured considerably. "What are you getting at?"

Gold airily waved a hand through the air. "Oh nothing. Merely observing that our dear sheriff has a knack for revealing our true selves." He smirked again.

"Truly? Then perhaps her fists should be directed toward you next time. I wonder what would emerge from your pallid skin?"

"Nothing you and I haven't seen before, your majesty. Now, I take it you didn't come here to exchange petty insults?" He shifted his weight on his cane a little, and Regina nodded, confirming his question.

She pointed at her face. "Why is this happening?"

Gold chuckled softly. "Well, surely you must know that the Savior's arrival has started time again. With age comes wrinkles."

The mayor's face flushed an unflattering shade of red, and she narrowed her eyes to slits, adopting a dangerous expression. "Do not push me, Imp. I am in no mood for games."

"You rarely are, dearie," the pawnbroker quipped, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"You know what I'm asking about! After all these weeks, why now am I healing?" she hissed.

Gold minutely shook his head, regarding her with the sort of expression one reserves for someone who is especially unintelligent. "Of all my pupils, you, Regina, might just be the dimmest of them all." The woman opened her mouth to retort, but he held up his hand to quiet her. "Tell me, have you seen our Savior lately?"

"Of course I haven't! And if I did, she'd be-"

"Regina, you're a terrible liar."

She glared at him. "And if I have?"

He chuckled softly again. "You simply don't get it, do you? Even in this world, there is but one magic that cannot be extinguished."

"True Love," she breathed.

"Indeed. How favorable was your interaction?" he asked.

"Favorable? We weren't exactly cozying up for pillow talk and splitting a pint of ice cream."

"You weren't fighting, though, were you?"

Regina's cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. "No...no we weren't."

"Repair the emotional damage: the damage of the heart. So goes the physical."

"I don't love her," she stated quietly.

"Some loves happen in an instant. The Charmings are a grossly-excellent example, and some require much more time and effort. However, they are still true nonetheless."

"Need I remind you of her distain for me?"

Gold smiled mischievously, leaning over the counter to ask a final question, "Then what are you going to do about it, your majesty?"

Regina pulled back, considering his words momentarily. Without even bothering to give him a response, the woman turned around and swept out of the shop, the bell tinkling merrily in her wake. Naturally, her reaction was response enough for the conniving man, and he smiled to himself before pulling out a rag to wipe down the display cases with.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Her heels clicked loudly against the tile, echoing tightly in the narrow hallway. It was a path she found herself treading far too often since the blonde's arrival in her town, but she hadn't walked those halls in far too long. When she strode into the pen, a part of her expected to see Emma, clad in her horrid leather jacket, throwing darts, or feet propped up on her desk while munching on a bear claw.

However, when she entered, she saw David Nolan hunched over the desk, scrawling across some paperwork, and a half-eaten sandwich from Granny's sitting nearby. His head snapped up at the unexpected sound of stilettos, and the look of fear that painted his face was so intense, that Regina swore the man might have wet himself.

"Madame Mayor! H-How surprising!" he stammered, standing up from his chair.

"Relax, Sheriff Nolan. I've been dealing with far too much stress lately, and yours is currently palpable."

He flushed. "I didn't realize you were coming. Did I miss a memo or something?" He immediately began shuffling through several stacks of paper on the desk, and Regina could see a thin sheen of sweat on his brow.

"No, you didn't miss any notification. My visit here is as impromptu for you as it is for me." She tugged a little at her scarf before clasping her hands in front of her.

"Okay, sure. You look well, by the way." He smiled in that genuine way that always made a muscle twitch in her cheek and want to vomit a little.

"The marvels of a little time away from the world are astonishing," she replied blandly.

"Well, uh, if you're here for..." David started shifting a little, and he scratched nervously at the back of his neck. "If you're here about my investigation...I don't really...I mean, I don't have much. Anything, actually.

"Emma wasn't a terribly open person, and she hasn't been a resident of Storybrooke for very long. So, no one seems to know where she might have gone, if she even stayed in town that is. For all we know, she fled city limits, maybe even the state. B-But I haven't given up or anything. It's a waiting game-"

Regina silenced his babbling by holding up her hand, and she walked slowly over to his desk. "I'm not here for an update, Sheriff."

"Oh," he murmured, flushing deeply again.

"I'm here to request something, and I think you'll find it rather...unusual, but I need you to listen carefully anyway." She fixed her mahogany eyes on his blue ones, and she could feel her scrutiny and ambiguousness making him uncomfortable.

"Absolutely, Madame Mayor."

"I'd like you to drop all charges against Emma Swan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, my cliffhangers are going to kill you, but you secretly love them and you know it! A big shout out to my lovely Beta, Jasmine, who always lends a clever and helpful hand to my work. Find her on Tumblr at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


	39. What we don't Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma takes some time to reflect on her actions while Regina tries to explain the unexplainable to David Nolan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I know that this has been an unusually long break between chapters, but there's a really good reason for it! I have taken these past several weeks to do a massive editing overhaul of my story, and I am glad that I did. For those of you who have been with me since the beginning, there have been some important changes. Much to my chagrin, I actually left out some sections of the story that I never meant to. The biggest of these being the entire first half of Chapter 11, and the first segment of Chapter 28, and a third whose number I cannot remember; though, I believe it came before Chapter 11. Other changes include consistent tenses, and some new, but minor dialogue. I thank all of your for your patience, and trust me when I say these edits are for the better, and I'm glad that I took the time to do them. So, without further ado, the new chapter! Enjoy!

Emma sat up, pajamas soaked and stuck to her skin from sweat. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and she immediately brought a hand up to cover her eyes, groaning loudly. The images of her dreams slipped through the fingers of her memory like smoke, and she was left with a sick, haunted feeling in the tight knot that seemed ever-present in her chest.

She flopped back down onto the thin mattress of her cot, running both palms over her sticky face. When she pulled them away, she felt a sort of grainy grit on them, and opened her eyes to look. She saw dozens of tiny flakes of burgundy scabs coating her palms and fingers.

Confused, Emma sat back up again, grabbing her cane, and hoisting herself unsteadily to her feet. There was a small mirror on the far side of the cabin. When she finally reached it, a small gasp escaped her lips. The long scratches that Regina had left on her face weeks ago, that had relentlessly refused to heal, that constantly cracked, re-opened and oozed blood, were falling away.

Shakily, she picked away at the flaking skin, and when she had removed a majority of the scabs, Emma found that her face looked almost...normal. She had four, thin, red lines running vertically along the right side of her face. As relieved as she initially felt at finally seeing her face mostly unmarred, she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt settling over her, like she felt that she didn't _deserve_ to be in good health.

A long sigh blew out across her lips. Of all the shit she has endured in her life, this was perhaps the most bizarre. Nothing made sense, and she was full of conflicting and confusing emotions. Half of her just wanted to do what she's always done, and that was run. But the rest of her...she knew she had to stay. If only for Henry, but she had a nagging feeling that it was more than just the love for her son keeping her there in Storybrooke.

She limped over to the front door, slipping past it, and sitting down on the porch, as she was apt to do many days. The air was clear and definitely cold, and she watched tendrils of steam rise from the glassy surface of the lake. Emma shivered, remembering that she was still in her pj's, but not willing to summon the energy to get up and change, or at least grab her jacket.

The blonde propped her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands, and focused on her heart and breathing. In for two beats, hold, out for three. _In...one...two...How blind have I been? Out...one...two...three...After all, the trees are already changing. In...one...two...Maybe there will be snow soon? Out...one...two...three...The frosts have already set in...In...one...two...Getting wood to keep warm in the cabin is going to suck...Out...one...two...three...How long am I even planning on staying here? In...one...two...At least I'd be warm in jail...Out...one...two...three...Would Regina even let me turn myself in?_

Emma sucked in a sharp breath, remembering everything that had happened the night before. She had sat outside with the mayor, discussing...nothing, really. At least, it seemed like nothing. Their conversation was small, and nothing had genuinely transpired. But that wasn't entirely true, was it?

Regina had told Emma something incredibly important. She had told her that she wanted Emma to have the chance to fix the mess they were swimming in. Regina told her that she didn't want her in jail, that it wouldn't do anyone any good. She told Emma that there would be a next time; another visit.

The blonde rubbed her hands over her face, blowing out a long puff of air. "What am I even doing?" she muttered to herself. "This is a good thing, right? Second chances are good things." Emma sighed heavily. "I don't think I deserve a second chance."

She stood up slowly, descending the few porch steps, heading out to the edge of the lake. The distance alone wasn't far, but the effort the blonde had to put in to get her body to cooperate was the true challenge. By the time she reached the water's edge, frost-glazed blades of grass crunching under her boots, she was panting slightly.

She knelt down, her own frozen skin barely registering the cold of the earth beneath her, giving her already exhausted limbs a rest. Emma picked up a small stone and lazily threw it across the water. She watched the ripples fan out, disrupting the calm reflections on the surface of the lake.

"Remember when you wanted to die?" she asked aloud. "Remember when you thought it would have been better for everyone if you just walked into that lake and never came out? If I had done that..." She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, swallowing at the thought. "God, if I had actually done that, let myself die... You know, I think it might have actually hurt Regina even more. Which sounds weird, but, if I had killed myself, then she'd never have gotten closure. She'd have never heard my sorrow, and Henry...             "God, Henry. It would've killed him. It's still killing him, probably. He hates me, I think. I have to make this right, don't I? But how? How the fuck do I even _begin_ to correct any of this? Well, I've kinda started, haven't I? I mean, I did apologize to Regina, and I am sober now...not that I had a choice in that matter.

"I showed Erika to Regina. I think...I think that was a good gesture right? And she said she'd show me Stuffy. Why would she be nice to me anyway? I mean, I thought she'd wanna beat the shit out of me. I did try to give her that chance last night, but... Fuck, she's probably right that there's been enough hurt already.

"Regina's always right, isn't she? I was a fucking moron to think that was a good idea. What was up with her last night anyway? I mean, has she always had hallucinations? I know that schizophrenia tends to show itself in guys in their early twenties, and late twenties for women. Maybe she's a schizo?

"But that doesn't really fit her. She wouldn't really be able to function, would she? Did...did I do that? Did I hurt her so badly that she's not even right in the head any more? Actually...I'm not even right in the head. I've been seeing Graham all over, and that's totally not normal.

"But...didn't she say that she felt the air get warmer when she saw her ghosts? 'Cause that happens to me too... Is that standard for people who see ghosts? Man, something's just not right. Something's happening to us...and I'm the cause, aren't I?" Emma blew out another frustrated sigh, picking up a fistful of pebbles, and chucking them at the lake.

"She touched me last night. Regina Mills fucking touched my face, and _God..._ I felt so warm. I felt so deliciously warm when she touched me. I can't even describe... Well, since no one's listening, I want her to touch me again. There, I said it! I wanna feel warm again!" The blonde frowned deeply, her hand coming to graze her left cheek where Regina's fingers had resided less than twenty-four hours prior.

"She made me feel warm... Henry didn't, and neither did Mary Margaret, or Ruby, or anyone who touched me. Regina Mills...her touch, it just... It felt like... _magic._ "

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"I'm sorry... _what?_ " came the confused response.

"You heard me quite clearly, Sheriff. I would like to drop all charges against Miss Swan." Regina's tone was steely, her eyes hard, and David still wasn't sure if that was the mayor's idea of a joke.

"I heard you, Madame Mayor, but...why? She..."

"What, dear? She what?" the brunette demanded.

David shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "She assaulted you. Rather publicly, I might add. I would advise you to not drop the charges."

"Of course you would, dear. I know precisely what you saw that day, having directly experienced it myself. I know _exactly_ what Miss Swan did to me. Naturally, one would think that pursuing legal action against my assailant to be the most logical course of action, and it's true. Unfortunately, logic doesn't always seem to apply, even in a situation that seems as black and white as this one."

A crease formed between the man's brows, and he sank down into his chair after pulling one up for the mayor as well. "Seems? What's changed? What's different, Regina?"

"Far too many things for comfort, but I wouldn't expect you to understand any of them," she said carefully, lowering herself into the seat and setting down her purse.

"Regina, listen. I want to do as you ask-"

"So do it!" she snapped.

He waited patiently for her brief flare of anger to subside. "I want to, but I need a good reason here as to why. I need something pretty compelling to convince me not to arrest her and put her on trial when she's found."

The brunette scoffed. "You need no such thing, but if you're going to be so stubborn, then I have at least one reason for you." She narrowed her eyes at him. "My son."

David cocked a brow. "Henry? I'm not sure I understand."

"Did I not just say moments ago that I wouldn't expect you to understand any of my reasons for wanting to do this? But I will try and make you and your simple mind understand, seeing as you have no children of your own.

"Henry is a smart and sensitive boy, and I love him dearly. However, as much as he may love me, he loves Miss Swan as well. She has been his hero since the moment he found her...until she attacked me. He has had to bear the weight of far too much grief and anger since then. Can you _possibly_ imagine what seeing his idol, his White Knight, on trial for attempting to murder his other mother?"

"So...you're doing this, in part, for Henry's mental health, yes?"

"Would you not also do the same, Mr Nolan?"

His frown only deepened. "I'm not sure..."

"Excuse me?"

"I can appreciate the will to defend and protect your child, but that's not justice, Regina," he said earnestly.

"Don't you use that word! Justice? How is there any justice being done? What do any of us know about justice?" she spat.

"Regina, you can't protect Henry from everything! You can't let him think that she can get away with a crime like that! It...it sets a bad example! He'll have to learn the realities and consequences of one's actions one way or another."

The brunette shot the man a look of deep disgust. "Is that how you see things? Is that what you think my son needs? He's not even a teenager yet, and you think that this is the way that he should learn about _consequences?_ "

"That's...that's not what I meant."

"Oh, am I setting a bad example? Henry should see compassion and understanding, not the mother he loves thrown in jail!"

"Regina..."

"No! You don't understand, exactly as I predicted! No one could possibly understand why I, of all people, would want to give Miss Swan a chance to redeem herself. I know that you and the rest of the simpletons in this town could never fathom my reasoning, but here's a little piece of information for you, Sheriff. Miss Swan actually had a motivating reason for acting against me! She should have handled herself better, but, in truth, it was a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding? Regina, what kind of misunderstand warrants that kind of retaliation?"

"Nothing! I just told you that she should have acted differently! All of this goes beyond aggravated assault! It is far more complicated than you could ever know, and even I don't understand it fully, but I am trying to do what's best."

"And how, Madame Mayor, can you know what's best, when you haven't even seen Emma since the incident?"

"I won't pretend to know all the answers, Mr Nolan, but let's just call it intuition, shall we?"

"Intuition? I still don't think-"

"Good. Stop thinking. I am still your superior, Sheriff. I suggest you do as I asked. Drop the charges, and speak of this to no one." Regina said with deadly finality. She fixed David with a final glare, before scooping up her purse and exiting the station without a backward glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com and you can find my amazing beta, Jasmine, at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com 
> 
> I also have one more announcement. As I am sure that a good majority of you are aware, the economy sucks. I have no income right now, which makes writing a challenge sometimes. I have set up a Paypal account, and, if any of you have any money to spare to help keep me writing, please, send me a private message. You are under no obligation to donate, but even $5 goes a long way. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for you love and support! This has been an amazing experience, and I can't wait to see this through to the end! <3


	40. To Be Forgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has another talk with Henry, and reveals a few new truths to Ruby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 40 chapters! I can't believe how many of you have stuck with me through this, and I adore all of you! I think you'll enjoy this chapter quite a bit, and it is kind of fluffy. We get some more adorable moments between Henry and Regina, and see more of Ruby and Regina's bromance blossom. Enjoy!

Henry yawned widely for the umpteenth time that late Saturday morning, while he sat on the floor in front of the coffee table in the living room. He was working on some homework, wanting to get it out of the way early in the weekend, and Regina was on the sofa behind him, her legs pulled up, glasses on, and working through a Sudoku puzzle.

"Are you okay, dear? You're yawning a lot. Did you sleep poorly?" Regina asked casually, but stopped her puzzle to peer at the back of her son's head.

Henry shrugged, still scrawling across a worksheet. He paused in his writing to look over his shoulder. "I d'know... I mean, I slept all right and all, but I'm just tired all the time." He turned back to his work.

Regina smiled to herself. "Just wait until you're actually a teenager. You won't only be tired, but you'll be grouchy as well. And _I_ will be the one who has to deal with your morning grumps."

Henry snorted a little, and shook his head. "Well, I guess I apologize in advance."

"You guess?" the brunette teased.

The boy shrugged again. "How grouchy were you? When you were my age?"

Regina's soft smile faltered a moment, but she said lightly, "I wasn't really allowed to be grouchy and petulant when I was young. Mother saw to that."

"Is that why you're so grumpy nowadays?" he said with a teasing smile that he flashed over his shoulder.

Regina wrinkled her nose at him, but her eyes sparkled with mirth, and a small grin curled her lips. "Of course, dear," she said, her voice laden with sarcasm. "My sour mood is simply me expressing my latent, teenaged angst. How could it be anything else?" She raised an eyebrow at him, and Henry rolled his eyes.

"I thought it was just Emma who was the dork, but you're kinda silly too," he gave back, not looking at his mother. He didn't notice the way she stiffened and paled at the flippant mention of his birthmother.

The brunette's jaw worked as she fought back an onslaught of emotion, but her son took no notice of her silence, as he was completely reabsorbed into his work. Regina let the conversation die there, not sure how she would even respond to such a statement. She quietly resumed her puzzle, and Henry remained unperturbed while he focused on his assignment.

"Henry, dear?" Regina asked, breaking the silence again.

"Yeah, Mom?" He still didn't look up.

"Would you like to spend the night with Ava and Nicholas tonight?" Her voice was a little higher, betraying her nerves.

Henry looked up that time, a frown etching his face. "What?"

"Okay, if you don't want to see them, what about your lady friend, Paige?"

The boy blushed furiously at the mention of the girl, and a small smile crossed Regina's face. "N-No, I don't think I wanna have a sleepover with just a girl," he mumbled bashfully. "Why do you want me to go out tonight?"

The mayor frowned slightly, cocking her head in confusion. "Do you not want to see your friends?"

Henry scratched at the back of his neck. "No, it's not that. They're really cool to hang out with and stuff, and Mr Tillman is really nice, but..."

"But?"

"But," he started, biting his lip. "You've let me go out for sleepovers and stuff a lot lately. You never used to let me do that stuff."

"A mother can't change her ways? I'm not allowed to let you go out and be social?"

"I mean, you are, but I don't think that's why you're sending me out. 'Cause you always tell me to go to someone else's place, and not saying I should invite them here. Are...are you up to something?" He blushed at his timid accusation.

Regina mimicked her son's action, and bit her own lip. It would be easy to lie and say that his time away afforded her some necessary time to herself, but she was home alone the six hours he was at school, and she _did_ promise not to lie to him anymore.

"Mom?" Henry asked, breaking her line of thought.

The brunette set down her book of puzzles, and pulled her glasses off, fixing him with a direct look. "'Up to something' is the wrong way to put it, but yes, there is a reason why I ensure you're out of the house some evenings." Henry's frown deepened, but he remained silent so his mother could continue.

"I have been having Miss Lucas out here on those evenings," she stated, a mild blush coloring her cheeks.

"Seriously? Ruby? How come you've been keeping it a secret?"

Regina smiled fondly at the boy. "Because you, mister, have a habit of hearing things you're not supposed to. My conversations with Miss Lucas are personal, and I like to keep them private."

"But...I'm your son."

"Precisely. Much of what I have to say is nothing I want you to carry on your shoulders."

"Hang on, I thought you didn't even like Ruby," he said with another confused frown.

"True, but I also never took the time to get to know her before. Truth be told, I find her amusing and endearing. She's been very kind to me during my recovery, and I would like to see her again tonight," Regina said, masking as much emotion that tried to bleed into her voice as she could.

Henry pulled a face. "Are...are you guys, like... _dating_ or something?"

The brunette choked, but ended up laughing, despite herself. "No, dear. Our interest in each other is purely friendly in nature. Would you have had an issue with it if we were, though?" she questioned.

"I guess... I mean, it'd be pretty weird."

"How so? What about it would be weird?"

"I d'know...just you and Ruby don't seem like you'd be a good fit is all," he said, blushing harder.

"Not because we're women?" she said, carefully observing her son.

Henry scratched at the back of his neck, playing with the hem of his shirt while he thought out his answer. After a beat, he looked up at his mother and said, "No?"

"No? You don't sound very sure of yourself, dear." Regina was unconsciously nervously toying with one of her earrings.

"I d'know, I guess I just haven't thought about it much," he mused quietly. "I think I'd be okay if you were with a girl. As...as long as you love each other, right? That's what matters, right? Love and happiness?" He turned his hazel eyes up to hers, and she saw that they shone with trepidation, but there was conviction underlying his words.

She couldn't have been more proud of her son in that moment, and she reached out to stroke his messy locks. "Yes, Henry. That really is all that matters when it comes to who you love. Don't you ever forget that." She smiled warmly at him.

"So...Ava and Nicholas? Can we order pizza?" Henry asked, steering the conversation away from the sentimental direction it was heading in.

Regina pretended to consider her son's request, over-playing her thinking face, and tapping her chin with a finger. Henry rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "Only if you finish your homework for Monday. If you don't, no pizza."

Henry pumped his fist into the air before awkwardly hugging his mother's knees. He returned to his assignment with renewed vigor, and Regina got up to fix him a snack. While she was in the kitchen, she shot off a quick text to Ruby. Her phone buzzed moments after she had finished preparing the fruit and granola she made for Henry. When she read the message, a smile crept over her face, and she wondered what her and the young brunette were going to do that evening.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina fluffed her hair as she strode into the foyer after hearing several knocks on the front door. She pulled it open without asking who was there, knowing it was one Ruby Lucas. She smiled warmly at the young waitress, whose jaw dropped open upon seeing her. Regina made no effort to ask about the girl's reaction, knowing she would talk about it in a few moments. Her patience was appropriately rewarded.

"Whoa!" Ruby exclaimed, taking in the mayor's appearance while she walked through the doorway, shedding her coat. "You look... Holy crap!"

"Articulate," Regina teased, and the young brunette blushed in response.

"No, it's just, you look really good!" Ruby explained, following her hostess into the living room.

It was apparent that Regina had planned for her arrival, because, upon entering, Ruby saw that the coffee table was set with two glasses - one empty, for wine, and the other filled with lemon water - the chessboard, a bottle of wine, a small platter with sliced cheeses, and a small wooden bowl filled with various sliced nuts and dried fruits. Julie London was playing softly in the background, and Ruby smiled at the scene.

"How exactly do I look, dear?" Regina asked, settling down into the armchair she sat in the last time they got together.

Ruby dropped down into the same spot on the sofa as before, and gave the older woman an exaggerated once-over. "You look...healthy. Your bruises and swelling all look loads better. What have you been taking these past few days, and where can I get some?"

"I don't think I've been on any special drugs lately, so sorry to disappoint," she remarked, sipping some of her water. Ruby picked up the wine and examined the label. "Ah, now that is from the Bartlett Winery. They were the first winery to open in Maine, and have been quite successful since. They're truly excellent wines, and that there, the pear wine, is simply superb. I don't break it out for just anyone, dear."

Ruby poured some of the golden-yellow alcohol into her glass and took a tentative sip. She let out a long moan the moment it hit her tongue, and Ruby's eyes rolled back while she smacked her lips.

"Good God, that is fucking delicious!"

"Mm, I am glad it's not being wasted. Shall we?" She gestured to the chessboard.

"Absolutely," Ruby agreed, setting down her glass to look at the board.

"Do you remember how to play, or would you like to explain how the pieces move again?"

"Nah, I think I remember. And if I mess up, you'll correct me anyway," the waitress said, nudging one of her white pawns forward two spaces. "How's Henry doing?"

"You ought to know, dear. You do see him every day." The mayor moved one of her knights.

"I know I do, but I don't see him for very long these days, and he's still not as chatty. You're his mom; you know him better than anyone else."

"Indeed. He's been...better, I think. He doesn't hover around me quite as much as he used to, and his bouts of depression seem to be more spaced out than before. He knows, you know."

Ruby looked up with confusion at Regina. "Uh...knows what?"

"That you and I have been meeting."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I'm not entirely sure. But I did want to let you know, because it is likely that he will question you about what you and I talk about. He wanted to be here while you were, but I dismissed the request."

"How come?" Ruby claimed one of Regina's pawns.

"He's a smart, but emotional boy. He's also quite sneaky, to be honest. He would end up hearing something he shouldn't, and that would bode poorly for all of us," Regina explained evenly.

"Right, like us talking about Emma. Bad idea. You're totally right. How'd he take it? Being told he can't hang around with us?"

"He was confused, naturally." Regina chuckled for a moment while her eyes roamed the board. "He actually asked if we were dating."

Ruby burst out laughing, before fixing her shining eyes onto the older brunette. "Are we?"

"I think we've been over this before, dear."

"Yeah, just making sure that nothing's changed! You can be unpredictable sometimes." She fell into another fit of giggles. "What'd he say about it?"

"Well, I did ask if he would have had an issue with it if we were actually a couple."

"And?"

"He said that he didn't think you and I would 'make a good fit,'" Regina said amusedly.

"Awww," Ruby responded, feigning heartbreak. "But we would be so hot together!"

"Is that so?" The mayor arched an eyebrow.

"Legit. We're both super hot, confident, strong, and funny brunettes. It's a match made in heaven."

"Who says I am into brunettes, dear?" Regina asked coyly.

Ruby narrowed her eyes in mock assessment. "Okay, I wanna guess what you're into, then!" Regina frowned, but amusement shone in her eyes, and she remained silent for her guest. "Okay! You're into... Oh! Fiery redheads!"

The older woman wrinkled her nose in obvious distaste. "Please, no."

"Wait a second, are we talking about dudes or chicks here?" Ruby asked.

A deep blush slowly crept up Regina's cheeks, and she quietly asked, "Does it matter? Does it make a difference?"

The waitress shrugged. "I guess not. Why, do you harbor any same sex tendencies, Madame Mayor?" The blush on the older woman's cheeks only deepened, and Ruby covered her mouth with her hands, squealing excitedly. "Oh my God! You _do!_ "

Regina scowled. "I assumed you already knew that," she shot back.

"What? When? You never told me..."

"Considering that you've been accusing me of holding feelings for Miss Swan, and bringing up the bouquet of flowers I left for her at every opportunity, I thought you'd have connected the dots."

"Well...I know you don't think I'm all that smart anyway. That I'm just a dumb, gossip girl."

"I said no such thing!" Regina responded hotly.

"Uh-huh, right. So you don't think I'm some idiotic slut?" Ruby crossed her arms defensively over her chest.

A concerned look crossed the mayor's face. "Should I?"

Ruby's expression faltered, and she mumbled sheepishly, "N-No, I just...I thought that's how you saw me."

"Ruby, you're not anything like that. You're...you're my friend."

"Which means what? That I'm _not_ a slut?"

"No, but it means I like to be with people who are of a certain social caliber."

Ruby snorted. "And I make the cut? You, Madame Mayor, have lowered your standards."

"Perhaps you should start thinking more highly of yourself, dear." Regina casually remarked.

"Okay, but we're getting off topic here. You like chicks, right? Like, are you gay? 'Cause I'm cool with the gays, and I totally won't out you or anything." The waitress' eyes sparkled with pure glee.

"I wouldn't say that I'm... _gay,_ " Regina said softly, her blush creeping down her neck and chest.

"Awwww!" Ruby cooed. "You're only just coming out! That's so precious!"

"Not exactly. Ruby...I don't really know what is going on, but I am certainly _not_ coming out."

"Does this mean..." The younger brunette frowned to herself. " _Are_ you attracted to Emma?" She eyed the mayor closely for her reaction, and saw a telltale clenching of the woman's jaw, the renewed blush in her cheeks, and the not-so-subtle aversion of her chocolate eyes. Ruby narrowed her own. "That's pretty fucked up."

Regina's gaze fixed itself back onto her guest, eyes flashing dangerously. "You think I don't know that!" she snapped viciously.

"I don't get it," Ruby huffed out.

"And I do?"

"Well...you're you. You're the only one who can be in your head, not me, or anyone else. Only you can know the answer to any of this insanity," the waitress said calmly, but Regina didn't respond. "What's changed?"

"I can't give you the answer to that either. But...I did see her again."

Ruby's eyes widened. "You did? What happened?"

Regina started fidgeting, an uncharacteristic action for the older woman. "Something about her is...different."

"Care to elaborate?" Ruby said, sipping her wine again.

"Before, she seemed angry...aggressive. But now? She's...defeated. I saw nothing but remorse and sorrow in her eyes. She's haunted by her actions, and she insists on at least trying to make things right. Between us," the mayor explained softly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Is it?"

"I...can't tell," she replied even more quietly.

"Do you not want to let her try?"

"No, I do. That's the most terrifying thing about all of this. I shouldn't want to allow her anything. I should hate her, and let her wallow in her misery and-"

"Puke puddles?"

Regina smiled ruefully. "She's not as unkempt as she was before. I do believe she's at least bathed. Are you still upset with her? For the way she treated you?"

"I think so," Ruby shrugged. "She really ticked me off, and I just...haven't let it go yet."

Regina leaned forward, capturing the young woman's gaze in her own. She looked intently at the waitress, long enough that Ruby began to squirm under the intensity of the stare. "Ruby. If I, of all people, can learn to forgive even the most abominable of crimes, I do believe that you can as well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Regina hasn't completely forgiven Emma for being an asshole, but you have to start somewhere, right? As per the norm, you can find me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com and you can find my oh-so-spectacular Beta, Jasmine, at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com 
> 
> Again, I am still epically broke. If any of you would like to donate even the smallest amount (a little goes a long way), please private message me on here or Tumblr, and let me know.


	41. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Ruby have some quality time together, and they discuss some pretty heavy topics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken a while for this update. I've been emotionally unwell, and that left me lacking in the motivation department. Again, thank you all SO much for reading my story! I love you all! Enjoy!

Ruby pulled up next to Emma's bug, clenching her jaw tightly. She knew that whatever was going to happen between them was going to be awkward and relatively uncomfortable. She knew that both of them were headstrong, bullheaded even, and their determination and kindness made them a lot alike. As such, they grew to call each other friends in a surprisingly short amount of time, considering how guarded the blonde was.

They had never fought before, and that left Ruby completely in the dark as how to make amends with her friend. Not to mention, Emma wasn't in the best state of mind when they last spoke, so she had no idea if that would affect the blonde's decisions regarding Ruby.

She huffed out a sigh, rubbing her fingers together because the heat was rapidly leaving her car. Storybrooke had woken up to a fine dusting of snow that morning, and out where Emma was staying it looked simply stunning. Every branch, stone, and blade of grass glittered with the thin layer of powder while the still-unfrozen lake sparkled merrily in the mid-day sun. At least her chances of finding Emma unconscious in a puddle looked to be extremely small.

Ruby took another deep breath and exited the car. She walked around the side of the cabin, still half-expecting to round the corner and end up looking down the barrel of the blonde's pistol. However, she saw the unmistakable, red leather jacket Emma always wore down by the water's edge.

She watched silently as the blonde stooped, picking up a stone, and throwing it across the water, skipping it five times. Well, she was walking, and skipping rocks didn't seem to be too hostile or self-destructive. Perhaps she was finally pulling herself together.

Ruby steeled herself again, and walked casually over to where Emma was leaning on her cane, apparently just watching the ripples undulate across the lake's surface. She made no attempt to dampen her footfalls, and Emma visibly stiffened at the sound of her approach. When she turned her head, green eyes widened in surprise.

"Ruby?" Emma breathed.

"Hey," she offered sheepishly. "Is this a bad time?"

The blonde shrugged non-committaly. "It's not like I've got a schedule or anything out here."

"I know...you just seemed a little startled." Ruby didn't know what to say, but at least Emma was not drunk, and she wasn't yelling or belligerent either.

"Rubes, I'm in hiding. I'm not supposed to get visitors, so yeah, I'm always a little surprised." Emma rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I actually thought you might be Regina..."

"Disappointed?"

"No...I guess I just see her more than I see you these days." The air grew thick between them.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked tentatively. Emma shrugged again. "Em, I came here to apologize."

The blonde's brow furrowed in confusion. "Apologize? To me? How come?"

"'Cause I was such an ass to you. You really needed support, and instead, I just kicked sand in your eyes. You didn't have anyone in your corner, save for me...and I walked away. It wasn't cool," the waitress said, not making eye contact.

A sideways smile crept along pale lips, and Emma's eyes softened. "It's me who should be apologizing, Rubes." Emma nervously ran her free hand through her hair. "Listen, you were in my corner, and I abused all of the help you were offering. You were trying to make sure that I was okay, and you had no intention of turning me in or anything. What did I do? I got shitfaced beyond all reason, and threw your help in your face.

"I deserved to have you walk out on me. Was I pissed that you told Regina where I was? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I thought you had betrayed me to someone I could have sworn you hated. To be honest..." Emma's cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of pink. "Your actions were really good for me."

"Seriously? How?"

"Well...you kinda shit-kicked me into actually doing something about myself, and," The blonde's cheeks flushed even more. "I think it was actually a good idea that you sent Regina out here." Emma kicked a stone into the water.

"Whoa! Hold the phone! You _what?_ "

"I know, I know! It's crazy! But...it's true." Emma looked away, and Ruby caught the hint of shame on her face before it was out of view.

"Well, can we talk about it inside, preferably before we freeze our nipples off?" The brunette rubbed her arms for emphasis, and the other woman looked up at her. "I mean, not that I have any say in inviting myself into the shack. Unless...are we good?"

Emma's face softened into a gentle smile. "Yeah, Rubes. I think we're good."

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"You look good," the waitress commented over a steaming mug of instant coffee.

"Thanks, it's amazing how little changes make big impacts. You know...getting puke out of my hair, showering, brushing my teeth...the little things," Emma smirked.

"I meant, like, your injuries. Your face looks almost normal," Ruby said, cocking her head in observation.

Emma reached up and rubbed her face, the sensation of smooth skin still foreign to her fingers. "Yeah, it was kinda sudden. Like, those scratches just hung around forever. It was like they didn't want to heal or something, and then I wake up the other morning...poof! They were gone! Well, they were peeling like motherfuckers, but it was all healthy skin underneath."

"It was the same thing with Regina," Ruby tired to say casually, but her voice wavered, unsure if the mayor was a good or bad topic to broach. She busied herself with her coffee.

"Seriously?"

"Legit, man. She's all looking like a ghoul on a bad day for weeks now, right? Bam, she looks all shiny and new again. I mean, there's still some bruising and stuff." Emma frowned down at her mug. "But most of the swelling's gone."

"I really did a number on her, didn't I?" the blonde mumbled quietly.

"That's an understatement, but yeah, Em. You really did." Ruby leaned back in her chair, never taking her eyes off of her friend. "What's the deal with you two anyway?"

"Psh! You think _I_ know? I don't have a fucking clue, Rubes. She comes out here on some kind of power trip, but she was lying about pretty much everything she said that day. So that confused the fuck outta me, which didn't help. I was pretty fucked up at the time.

"And then she comes out here again, but in the middle of the fucking night! What was that all about? But I was sitting on the porch steps since I couldn't sleep, and I saw her come round the cabin. The moment I saw her, she froze, and then kinda ran.

"I'm not gonna lie...I was curious. So I sneak up to where she was, but Regina was having some kind of major panic attack or something. And when I tried to talk to her, she didn't think I was even _real._ So, I try and tell her that, right? Of course, she doesn't believe me, but she tries to touch me to prove I'm not real. And this is where it gets really weird.

"She touches my face, right? And the moment she does...Jesus..." Emma ran her hand through her curls again.

"What? Dude, what? You have to tell me! Don't leave me hanging," Ruby implored.

"Everything felt... _warm_ ," she finished, her eyes sparkling.

"You've lost me, Em."

"I know you've felt how cold I am." The brunette nodded in the affirmative. "Nothing seems to shake it. It doesn't matter how many layers I put on, or how long I sit in front of the fire. I'm still cold as fuck, but when Regina touched me...I felt like I had been wrapped in a blanket whose warmth soaked right down to my bones."

"And it only happened when Regina touched you?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you wanna try, go for it." Emma leaned forward over the table for Ruby. The waitress reached her hand out, and cupped the blonde's frigid cheek.

"Anything?"

"Nope, nothing. I still feel like a popsicle." She pulled away.

"Weird... Anything else happen that night?"

Emma bit her lip. "Yeah...after she touched me, she realized that I was actually real, and freaked the fuck out."

"Can you blame her?" Ruby asked, and Emma shrugged.

"I guess not, but she did come to me in the first place...so I d'know. Anyway, she made a run for her car, and I followed. Not closely or anything, I just wanted to..."

"Wanted to what?"

"I...I don't really know. I wanted to see her? Or not see her go? I don't know what was going on in my head, but I followed her. And I saw her leaning on her car, and she was crying and stuff. I saw her keys on the ground, so I picked them up for her. I let her know that she could leave right then and there if she wanted."

"Something tells me that she stayed?" Ruby predicted with a saucy arch to her brow.

"Well...I tried to apologize, like any decent human being should."

"Tried?"

"Yeah, but she wouldn't let me! And so I tried to figure out why, and then we started fighting again." Emma caught the look on her friend's face. "Verbally!" she rushed to clarify. "Not physically, but we got into it again, and it was a hot mess. I get really frustrated, and I...started crying."

"Aww, Emma! You were crying?"

"Again, actually. I was crying earlier when I was listening to her having her panic attack, 'cause I felt so fucking guilty. We kinda argued again after that, 'cause I said something stupid as usual. But then, it wasn't long before I realized we were kind of just talking, and then she said something that blew my mind."

"Did she say that she wants to fuck your sweet, blonde brains out?" the brunette quipped playfully. Emma blushed and averted her eyes, rubbing at the back of her neck again. "Ooooooooo!" Ruby practically yelled across the table. "You wanna fuck Regina!" she sing-songed.

"No! I don't want to have sex with Regina! Calm your tits, Rubes. I just...haven't gotten laid in a long ass time, okay? I get a little...pent up." Emma's face began to resemble a tomato, because she was blushing so hard.

Ruby smirked knowingly. "Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, Blondie. I'll bring you a vibrator next time."

Emma choked on the sip of coffee she was taking. "No! No fucking way! Regina drops in on me at the weirdest times. I don't need her walking in on me while I'm six inches deep in a vibrator. I'll live without, 'kay?"

"Fine, you can suffer while you fantasize about her fine ass and perfect, olive skin. Your loss."

Emma rolled her eyes. "From the way you talk about her, I'd say you're the one with the crush, Ruby."

"Nah, she's hot and all, and I do admire the female form, I'm pretty much into guys. You've at least gotta admit that the woman's hot!"

"Christ, Ruby! You're like a dog after a bone, and you don't fucking quit!"

"Nope, but seriously. What did she tell you that blew your mind?"

"She...she told me that she wants to give me a chance to fix this," Emma replied quietly, sobering immediately.

"I know that this should come as a surprise to me, but I thought as much." the waitress said as if it were no big deal.

"What? How?"

"Why do you think I'm here, Em? We've all kind of massively misjudged her. She told me that if she could learn to forgive, so could I. She _wanted_ me to make amends with you! She's...she's actually really kind and caring. I just don't know why she doesn't show it."

A deep scowl darkened the blonde's face. "I don't know if we've misjudged her all that much, Ruby. Why do you think I'm here? Why do you think I went after her in the first place?" Emma shot back, and the brunette looked wary of the older woman's sudden change in mood.

"I didn't want to ask. I didn't think you'd want to talk about it until you were ready," she said softly.

"I attacked Regina, because she fucking poisoned me." Emma sighed and covered her eyes with her left hand. "I was trying to leave Storybrooke."

"You _what?_ " the brunette said in alarm.

Emma's shoulders sagged. "I thought...I thought I was hurting Henry more than I was helping him. I thought he was paying the price more often than not in my feud with Regina. I figured that if I just left...he'd be better off."

"Emma..."

"I know, okay!" she snapped. "So I went to tell Regina that I was going to leave town, and that Henry was all hers. Well, she gave me this turnover she made as a snack for the road. I thought that we were just parting on better terms than before.

"So, I'm packing at the apartment, and Henry comes in like a little tornado. He was trying to convince me to stay, and it was fucking breaking my heart. Then, he sees the turnover that Regina gave me. Well, he still believes in the Curse, and told me that his mom poisoned it.

"He made a grab for it when I told him that it was nonsense, but I was faster. We were both distraught, and I just wanted to prove to him that Regina and I wouldn't ever be allies or anything, but we knew how to bow out gracefully, right? So I take a bite of it, and boom...coma."

"Wow, are you serious?" Ruby said slowly.

"No joke, and she practically admitted to it the first time she came here."

"That's...that's fucking crazy, Emma. Are you going to do something about it?"

The blonde sighed heavily. "What's there to do, Rubes? Look what happened the first time I tried to make her pay for it... I'm a wanted criminal, we're both fucked up, Henry hates me...It's gotta end somewhere, right? It's like what Regina told me a little while ago...hasn't there been enough hurt already? She's offered me the chance to fix this, and that's what I'm gonna put all of myself into. It's time to start moving forward, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm still broke! Even $1 or $5 dollars goes a long way. If you're interested in donating, please send me a private message on my ff.net account (I use the same name) or on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com and, as always, a huge smushy thanks to my best Beta, Jasmine! Check out her amazingness at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	42. As We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina sit down to discuss some very important aspects of their rapidly changing relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait, but I've been battling a combination of Life's meddlesome wiles, carpal tunnel, and writer's block. Lucky for you readers, I have heard some of the concerns you've raised in the comments, and I have done my best to address them. You'll be glad to see the story finally making it's big steps toward two very important moments for our leading ladies. As such, you're all being rewarded with the longest chapter yet. Do enjoy!

Regina clutched Stuffles tightly as she got out of the Benz. She swallowed nervously, wrapping her wool trench coat around her a little more tightly. She did promise the blonde that she would bring the suffed animal with her the next time she decided to visit. It had been five days since her last talk with Ruby, and it was October 30th, the day before Halloween.

The weather had been cool, promising to make some children regret choosing costumes that weren't warmer. Regina generally found the holiday to be distasteful, but she had never once let Henry down in his celebration. There was usually a get-together late at night for the adults at The Rabbit Hole, but she never went. She had never dressed up; in fact, she never did anything for it.

Regina imagined that Emma would enjoy many of the festivities of the night, and she wrinkled her nose at the thought of the blonde dressing up in some cheap costume and getting drunk at the Hole with everyone else. Would she have actually done that? The brunette paused. What if she put just as much time and energy into coming up with, and making a costume as Henry did? She would probably gladly take him trick-or-treating, seeing as she was mostly an over-grown child herself.

The mayor shook her head of the image of mother and son going door to door for candy, while she waited next to the car, watching them until they got too cold and hurried back to the Benz, so Regina could take them to the next block. She shook her head more forcefully as the image of shining, green eyes locking on her own while she felt slender fingers lace with hers over the gearshift invaded her mind.

She shivered in the cold, and cleared her head to make her way around the front of the cabin. Those little, domestic fantasies about the Savior seemed to be worming around her brain and dreams a lot recently, and it worried Regina. As much as she tried to deny it, she knew that she felt much more deeply for Emma than she had ever anticipated. It was a problem for many reasons. The first being Daniel. Her feelings for the sheriff felt like a massive betrayal to the man she loved with every ounce of her being. Yes, he had told her that he wanted her to be happy, and that Emma was the key. However, he was still a hallucination. How could she be sure it wasn't just her brain conjuring what she wanted to hear?

Secondly, as far as she knew, Emma was straight. But then again, Regina also assumed that she herself was straight, and look how that turned out. Even if Emma _did_ like women, she certainly didn't like Regina. At least, she had never given any indication of showing any fondness for her, so what if all of this was unrequited love? Regina's heart had managed to bear a few too many blows over her long years, but she wasn't sure she could weather the storm that might crash over her should she be rejected.

Lastly, there was the Curse. Henry had mentioned several months back that he had misinterpreted what was supposed to happen between Emma and Regina. He naturally assumed that there was supposed to be some sort of epic showdown between Evil Queen and Savior, resulting in the blonde's triumph. In a way, they have been fighting a long and grueling battle. The turnover was really the trigger to all of it, leading to blows being traded and tragedy following in their wake.

However, upon discovering the nature of Regina's feelings for Emma, he rapidly changed his mind in the way children are apt to do. He insisted that it was the Savior's duty to save everyone, and that even included the Evil Queen. That Emma would find a way to soften her hardened heart with what else? True Love, of course. Wasn't that what has been happening between them?

Her gloved fist hovered over the door to the cabin, and she sucked in a deep breath before knocking three times on the weathered wood. Her sharp ears were met with a long pause of silence, then some scraping and tired groaning. She heard the uneven stomp of Emma's boots and cane behind the door, followed by her cautious voice.

"Who's there?"

"Regina." Another long silence followed the brunette's identification, but she heard the click of the latch, and the creak of the hinges as the door swung open.

It had been a long time since Regina had seen Emma in proper light, and the last time she had, the blonde was filthy, covered in vomit, and borderline delirious. Now that she was cleaned up, Regina was able to properly take in Emma's state. Without crazed shouting and the ugly scratches marring her face, the mayor could see that the younger woman was far from well.

Her skin was pale, almost sallow, and tight over her face. The blanched skin threw the deep, purple bags under Emma's dull eyes into sharp relief. Regina took in the way the Savior's cheeks were sunken and noticeably hollow, and how her clothes hung loosely around her frame. Quite honestly, Regina thought the woman looked to be in desperate need of a proper, nutritious meal - or ten - and a decent night's sleep.

"Madame Mayor," the blonde stated formally.

"Miss Swan," Regina gave back with equal formality. "May I?" she asked, gesturing into the cabin.

Emma stood aside and allowed her in. The mayor looked around the space, and immediately noticed the difference. All the puddles of sick had been cleaned up; though, she could still see the stains they had left in the warped wood. All the garbage and dirty clothes had been picked up and put away, and the fire was crackling warmly in the hearth. The bed was made, and it even looked as though Emma had swept. The cabin looked...lived in.

She turned around at the sound of the door closing behind her, and saw Emma looking sheepishly at her guest, nibbling on the thumb nail of her free hand. They stood silently like that for several minutes, occasionally making eye-contact, then hastily breaking it.

"Can I get you something to drink?" the blonde asked nervously. "Coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee would be nice," Regina responded tightly.

"Sure." Emma limped over to the kitchenette. "Uh...make yourself comfy anywhere. You'll probably wanna sit in the chair with the red cushion on it, 'cause the other one wobbles." She put a kettle on the tiny stove. "I hope you like your coffee black. I don't have any milk, but I've got sugar."

Regina lowered herself into the chair Emma had suggested, setting Stuffles on the surface of the rickety table. "You're in luck, dear. I happen to like my coffee black."

"Figures," the blonde said with the hint of a chuckle. "I've only got whatever Ruby's given me, which happens to be coffee grounds in tea bags. I know it's not fancy or anything, but it'll do," she commented with a shrug.

"Why would you think I'd need it 'fancy'?"

Emma raised her eyebrows, shooting her guest a look. "Seriously? You're miss fancy, classy, rich mayor. It's not hard to see that you like the finer things in life."

"You can thank...or blame my mother for that. She disdained anything remotely common, and she made sure I felt the same."

"Does this mean she'd be turning over in her grave right now if she saw you slumming it like this?" Emma teased.

The brunette tensed, her eyes darkening with a subtle mixture of fear and anger at the thought. "What makes you think my mother's dead?" she asked tersely.

The blonde shifted uncomfortably, and unnecessarily repositioned the kettle on the burner. "I'm the sheriff, Regina. Or...I was. There was never any trace of the elder Mrs Mills in Storybrooke. I just assumed...I'm sorry. That was really rude. She's still alive isn't she?"

The brunette absentmindedly stroked Stuffles' fur. "No, you were correct in your assumption."

"Then why'd you attack me?" Emma pointed out.

"To teach you the potential consequences of assumption, dear."

The Savior rolled her eyes, pulling the whistling kettle from the stove. She poured the blistering water into two mismatched mugs, then dunked the coffeebags into them. She brought them over to the table, settling herself into the wobbly chair.

"I see you're walking better," Regina noted, swirling the bag of grounds around the water.

"Yeah. I've been doing my exercises and stuff. I still feel weak, but at least I'm not crippled any more, right?"

"So now you can truly run if you so desired..." Regina said softly.

Emma frowned at the words. "What if I don't wanna run?"

"Don't you, though? Isn't that what you do, dear?"

"Yes," the blonde admitted quietly. "And I can't blame you for assuming that I would again, either. But you should also be careful about making assumptions, Madame Mayor. I'm so goddamned tired of running. I'm just plain tired, and I think that I'm here to stay." She turned her eyes to her mug.

"For Henry, you mean."

Emma tilted her head in a partial shrug. "Among other things..."

"Such as?" Regina pushed.

The blonde swallowed, then licked her lips. She brought her tired eyes up to meet the mayor's steady gaze. "You," she stated after a beat.

Regina's heart jumped to her throat, and she heard herself gasp softly, focusing on the other woman with confusion and skepticism. "I beg your pardon?"

"I mean, like..." Emma nervously rubbed the back of her neck. "To make this right, you know? If I leave now, there'll be nothing but bad blood between us."

"Oh," the brunette said, her cheeks flushing. "I see."

"Were you expecting a different answer?" Emma questioned, noting the sudden change in her guest. She knew disappointment when she saw it.

Regina knew that the Savior would catch her lie if she tried to deny that she was indeed hoping for something else, and her convictions were usually strong enough to thwart the woman's innate ability to spot dishonesty. But she was so tired, and she just couldn't believe her own lies anymore. To try and avoid the awkwardness of the blonde catching her feeble attempt at evading the truth, she opted to simply shake her head and hide her face behind her mug. Emma narrowed her eyes momentarily, but didn't press the matter.

"So! Is that him?" The younger woman nodded to the lion on the table. "Stuffy, right?"

Regina mentally thanked the Gods for the change in topic. "Stuffles, dear. And yes, that is him."

"Can I hold him?"

"By all means. I recall you saying that you had to...how did you put it? Oh yes, 'judge his character.' It would be nice to know if he makes the cut."

"Worried?" Emma asked, lifting the toy from his place.

"Hardly," the brunette answered dryly.

Despite all of her stoic confidence, she watched closely as the sheriff interacted with Stuffles. She turned him over in her hands and smoothed out his mane, and stared intently into his golden, plastic eyes. Regina could tell the woman was playing up her mock scrutiny, but then she did exactly what the brunette did the first night she had the little lion: Emma brought him up to her face and inhaled deeply. When she pulled him away, a frown was etched across her face.

"Something wrong?" Regina asked cautiously.

"I thought that it might smell like Henry, but I guess that's kinda stupid since you've been holding on to him." She handed Stuffles back.

"My apologies."

"Don't," Emma said. "You...you smell nice too." Her pale cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of magenta when the other woman narrowed her chocolate eyes at her. "What? It's true. You always smell good. Like...jasmine. It's one of my favorite smells, really. Feminine and earthy all at once." Emma smiled at Regina, who was staring at her, lips parted and heart hammering.

Regina found herself blurting, "I do not understand you, Emma Swan." The blonde smiled softly at that.

"Well, how could you? You don't even know me. For all the months that we've been in each other's lives, up in our faces, we never knew a thing about each other, except for how stubborn we are. The only things I really know about you is that you'd do the craziest shit to protect Henry, and that you lie a lot. Especially to me."

"I do not!" the mayor retorted hotly. _Ping._

"Bullshit. You _just_ lied to me right there, and you lied five minutes ago when I asked if you were expecting a different answer from me. You lied when I asked you why you were visiting me in the hospital, and about a billion other things, like why you were out here in the middle of the night. So let's be real here, Regina. What gives?"

The brunette remained silent, toying with the collar of the coat she had yet to remove, not meeting the blonde's gaze. There was only so long Emma could stare down the woman, and her small reservoir of patience had run dry a long time ago.

"Fine. Let's start simple, shall we? You can admit that you've been lying to me a lot lately."

"What good would that do? You have no right to be making any demands of me after what you've done!" the mayor spat.

Emma winced at the accusation, but her temper flared nonetheless. "Normally, I'd agree with you, Regina! But when you told me you wanted to fix things, I thought that stuff was going to be different between us! I thought that meant some truth would actually come out! We can't make any repairs on a foundation of lies!"

"Maybe you thought wrong," Regina hissed. _Ping._

"No! No, I didn't! You just lied to me _again!_ God! I know that you want to be honest; I can see it, but you're scared or something! I know that this is weird, and confusing, and I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen either, but I told you earlier...I'm tired of running. From everything. So you can lie to me, and go through this shit alone, or you can nut up, and we'll fix this shit together!"

Regina stared down at the table like a scolded child, blinking rapidly while her eyes darted over the scarred wood, trying to think through her next answer. Emma was still angry, but she knew that look, having seen it on dozens of kids in the system, so she gave the woman the precious moments she needed.

When Regina finally looked up, she stared directly into Emma's eyes, her face bleeding more insecurity than the blonde had ever seen before. The mayor swallowed, preparing to answer, and one, wavering, whispered word left her crimson lips. "Together?"

The Savior's breath caught in her throat, and she found herself softening, her anger ebbing away. "Yeah, Regina. Together. I promise."

"Why?"

"Why? Hasn't this shit gone on long enough? Isn't that why you wanted to make things right? We've gotta start somewhere, right?"

Regina nodded, breaking the eye-contact. "Yes. I have been lying to you, Emma."

"How come?" Emma asked, watching Regina's jaw clench over and over again.

"I...didn't think you were ready for the truth. I still don't."

"Funny how everyone thinks that about me."

"I don't say this to belittle you, nor do I say it as a mere excuse to not tell you. I sincerely believe you're not able to handle the truth right now."

"Why not? What about tomorrow? Will I be able to handle it then? Or the day after?"

"Has it ever occurred to your tiny little mind that this might be about more than _just_ handling it? And it's...it's more than one truth, but they've managed to tie in to each other."

"I don't get it," Emma said, rubbing her temples.

"That much is obvious, dear."

"So help me to understand, Regina! Please?"

"No," the mayor snapped.

Emma grunted in frustration. "When, then?"

"I don't know."

"That's not good enough. When?"

"Emma-"

"No! _When?_ "

"Soon!" Regina half-shouted.

"How soon?" Emma demanded, and both women glared at each other.

"I'll have to talk to Henry first."

"This is between us, Regina. Leave the kid out of it."

"I can't! He's been at the heart of this from the very beginning, and he needs to know something very important. He...he needs to be prepared."

Emma's eyes widened in shock and fear. "Prepared? Prepared for what? Is something dangerous going to happen? What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing dangerous is going to happen to him, that much is certain."

"And me? You gonna kill me for real?"

"You wouldn't be in harm's way either. Not by a long shot."

Regina's cryptic messages had the Savior's mind reeling, and fear was settling heavily in the pit of her stomach. "Okay, now I'm getting worried and seriously weirded out!" The mayor didn't respond to Emma's statement. "What...what about you? Will you get hurt?"

The brunette's gaze faltered for a split second, and she knew that there was still no point in lying. "Most likely." Her admission came out dispassionately, but Emma could hear the subtle waver in her voice.

"No. You won't. I...I don't even know what you're talking about, but I won't let you get hurt!"

"Miss Swan, there's no point in you protecting me. You have no reason to do so."

"There's every reason to protect you! It's what I fucking do, like with the fire! You're Henry's mom! He'd be crushed if you got hurt, and it's my fucking job-"

"You weren't doing your job when you attacked me!" Regina yelled, tears shining in her eyes. "Why do you even _care?_ "

"I care because...because..."

"See? You don't have a reason! You've never cared about me, Emma! I've never given you any reason to give a damn about me, so why? Why bother?"

"I'll tell you why I bother once you tell me why you were visiting me in the hospital," the Savior said fiercely, her eyes flashing.

Regina sucked her teeth in frustration. "The truth?"

"Preferably, yes. You won't be able to lie anyway." Emma watched as the older woman gave way. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, and her eyes just looked sad.

"Do you recall why I gave you that turnover?" she questioned, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, you were afraid I'd always come back to Henry, and you'd lose him forever. You thought it was the only way to get rid of me for good."

The brunette flushed with shame. "Yes. Well, it clearly didn't work."

"You sure about that? Seems like it worked pretty well in your favor."

"I'm sorry, I don't follow."

"That much is obvious," Emma said, echoing Regina's earlier words. "Henry loves you again, I'm pretty out of the picture..."

"No, that only happened because you decided to try and murder me, dear."

"Which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't poisoned me in the first place," the sheriff pointed out.

"Regardless, may I continue?" Emma gestured for the mayor to do so. "You were in your coma, and Henry had run away from me. He was living with that twit of a woman, Ms Blanchard. I told you before that it didn't feel like a victory. If anything, it felt like more of a defeat."

"So what happened?" the blonde pushed.

"When you ate that turnover, everything changed. I wasn't lying when I told you that I was there to gloat."

"Uhhh...yes you were."

"Well, I went there to gloat the first time. At least...I tried. But there you were, still as the grave and cold as Death. Henry despised me, the town thought I had tried to murder you."

"They weren't wrong were they," Emma remarked. Regina looked at her, about to throw back an insult when she was met with one of the blonde's shy, yet goofy grins. The bloody woman was making a joke, and it had somehow managed to work. Regina found herself smirking back in return, and she thought that she might need to question her sanity.

"Yes, well...they had no proof, but we're getting distracted. I saw you like that, and..."

"Realized your mistake?" Emma offered.

"Not exactly."

"Gee...thanks."

"You did ask for truth, dear. No, what I saw was you."

The sheriff blinked stupidly across the table. "I think you've established that you saw me there. That was the whole point of your visit, remember?"

Regina sighed in obvious irritation. "No, I meant that I actually saw _you._ With you in that state, I wasn't distracted with your childish antics, or us fighting over Henry. I didn't..." She faltered, biting the inside of her cheek. "For the first time ever, I didn't see you as my enemy."

"Then...what do you see me as?" Emma asked, not realizing that her knuckles had turned white with the intensity of the grip she had on her luke-warm mug.

"I saw you as...innocent," she finished.

"What?" Emma said incredulously. "That doesn't even...please explain," she requested weakly.

"Remember when you yelled at me after you helped me escape the fire?"

The ghost of a smile crossed the blonde's face. "Yeah, that's a night I won't forget any time soon."

"You told me that you'd do it again, because that's what decent people do." She paused, taking a deep breath. "You were absolutely right. That _is_ what good and decent people do, and seeing you in your coma was when I realized that you were a decent person. That maybe you didn't deserve all of things I did to you, and the way I treated you."

"Okay, I get that...sorta. But why did seeing me like that flip the switch for you?"

"Because you were stronger, and braver, and better than I would ever be."

"That's really nice and all, but that still doesn't answer my question."

"Because I have put so much hardship on you, and the turnover...it was one you couldn't escape."

"You didn't make me eat the damn thing, Regina. It was my choice to put it in my mouth. I mean, I could've thrown it away or something."

"I still made it in the first place, and I still put it in your hands. The fault is entirely mine, so why are you defending me and placing the blame on yourself?" the mayor inquired, repeatedly dunking her coffeebag into the over-steeped beverage.

"Still haven't fully answered my questions."

"Sometimes I really despise you, Miss Swan." Emma just smirked, waiting for the mayor to continue. "You were in a coma by my hand, bearing unwarranted punishment. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I couldn't shake the guilt I felt over my actions. It especially bothered me, because I assumed I was going to feel pleasure and triumph.

"It wasn't long before I found myself frequenting your hospital room. Henry was still rightfully angry with me, and he still believed me to be the guilty party. As such, he had people volunteer to watch you in case I came by to cause further harm. That meant the only window of opportunity was late at night.

"2am became my regularly scheduled time to see you, and I felt the oddest sense of peace when I was with you in your room. You never spoke, never demanded anything of me, never gave me dirty looks...nothing. It's crazy, and I don't fully understand it, but I somehow bonded with you during your time in the coma." A long silence followed her explanation, and Regina began to fidget as she waited for the blonde to say something.

"I don't suppose it's ever occurred to you that this isn't as one-sided as you might think?" Emma said with a smile teasing her lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Why I care what happens to you...if you get hurt or something. There's a lot of bad stuff between us, but you've somehow managed to care about me despite it all. You may be all no-nonsense, hard-assed mayor on the outside, but on the inside you're still just as human as I am, Regina. You've never fooled me, and I too give a damn about you. I'm sorry that I can't give a more solid answer, but I can't really explain this either. All I know is that...I can't hate you, Regina."

"You should," came the quiet response. "I have given you no reason to feel anything kinder than loathing toward me."

"You're right...I should hate you." She ran a hand through her unruly curls. "I can't, and I can't even explain it either. But...there's-"

"A connection," the mayor finished, looking into Emma's eyes.

"Yeah," was the Savior's only breathy response, with a look of muddled comprehension. "What kind of connection?"

"You tell me, dear." Regina observed the other woman with a sly glint in her eyes.

"I...don't really know. It's just these little, weird things, like how you're almost always in my dreams now, chasing away the nightmares. Or how you're the only person who can make me feel warm...and the way Ruby was right about you." The brunette shot Emma a curious look, and a smile crossed the blonde's face when she said, "Ruby told me that we've really misjudged you. I think she's right.

"You told me that seeing me in the coma was the first time you really saw me as a person. Well...seeing you like this," Emma gestured to the mayor's visible injuries. "Not broken, just... _raw._ Exposed. I got to meet you for the first time, Regina. It was jarring, and terrifying, and beautiful, and heartbreaking, and-"

"Beautiful?" Regina cut in, and Emma's next words caught in her throat while her eyes widened comically.

"Did I say beautiful? I mean, like...I don't mean it like it was pretty or anything. What happened, that is. I meant more like...fuck, this is weird."

"Are you always this articulate?" the older woman teased.

"No, I-I mean yes. I mean...you're confusing me, and it's weird to say what I was gonna say. Unless you wanted me to lie for once?" she said with a hopeful lilt to her voice.

"Nice try, Miss Swan, but I thought today was about actually being truthful."

Emma glared for a moment before rubbing the back of her neck again. "When I said beautiful...I meant that seeing _you_ was beautiful." She tried smiling, but it came out as more of a painful grimace.

"Seeing me looking like a monster, at your own hands no less, was beautiful?" Regina deadpanned.

"No, you're twisting my words again! Not your physical appearance, your...self? Like, the inner-you. Seeing who you really are underneath your bitchy exterior was what was beautiful. I...don't like seeing you beat up. By my hand, or anyone else's for that matter."

"I don't know if I'm supposed to feel flattered or insulted by that."

"What's your gut reaction say?" A beat of silence followed Emma's question.

"Both."

"Have it your way," the blonde shrugged.

"What was it you said..." Regina trailed off, averting her eyes again. "What did you say about feeling warm?"

Emma blushed and also looked away from her guest. "I'm freezing all the time now, but...when you touch me, it goes away. And it's _only_ you. Henry doesn't have that effect on me, nor does Mary Margaret, Ruby, or even Dr Whale. But when you touch my skin...God, it's like I've been dipped into a pool of warm sunshine, or something. Do you have an explanation for that?"

"I'm going to lie to you and say that I don't."

"But...the honesty thing," Emma said very much like a pouting child.

"Now I know where Henry gets that tone from," the brunette remarked almost fondly. "This is one of those things that I cannot tell you yet, but I will. I just need some time."

"Does this have anything to do with our weird connection?"

"Yes," Regina answered truthfully.

"And what about the part where you and I are both having hallucinations?" the Savior bluntly asked.

"How did you...?"

"When you had your panic attack the other night. You thought I was a hallucination or something. You mentioned that the air gets warmer when you see them, and the same thing happens to me too."

"You sound so...unperturbed by that. It's someone from your past, isn't it?"

"I'm going to pretend like I know what that word means, but yeah. Sorta. It's Graham." Regina gasped loudly when she heard the name slip from the blonde's lips. "Does this mean you see him too?"

"No. No, I see...someone else. No one you would have ever known." The mayor's voice caught in her throat, and Emma saw the sorrow she failed to conceal flash across her face.

"And this is another one of those things that you can't tell me about, right?"

"Correct."

"What's happening to us, Regina?"

"If you haven't figured it out yet, you will soon."

"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're still as dim-witted as ever, dear. It also means that your solitude out here has prevented you from having the same things shouted in your ears as I have."

"Like what?" Emma said, raking her fingers through her hair in frustration again.

 _Like how you're my True Love._ "Nothing that's important right now."

"God! You're so fucking frustrating! Why don't I get to know?!"

Regina paused and considered Emma for a long moment. "You said that this whole ordeal has allowed you to see me as I truly am, yes? Some very important, very major things are going to transpire in the near future. Once those events have come to pass, you won't know me at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to extend a huge thanks to my Beta, Jasmine, for helping me a lot with this chapter, and kicking my ass to do what needed to be done. Find her sarcastic self at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com
> 
> On a related note, I'm still a starving artist, and would greatly appreciate you giving me anything you can spare, or whatever you think this story is worth. Even the smallest amounts make a difference. Send me a private message on my fanfiction. net account (I have the same user name there) or on Tumblr, if you wish to donate.


	43. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has a serious talk with Henry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I hope you all enjoy this new chapter that's simply loaded with more interactions between Henry and Regina. There are some /very/ important developments in here. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you all have fun reading it!

Storybrooke's location in America meant that all inhabitants celebrated all major American holidays, and the Curse was apparently aware of the stereotype that all small towns celebrated with much gusto and community bonding. The children were more than thrilled that Halloween that year fell on a Friday, meaning that they could stay up late trick-or-treating, eating candy, and playing with their friends.

Every business and storefront was decorated accordingly, and Regina couldn't help but be amused that skulls and cross bones were considered festive in this realm. Such symbols often heralded much less pleasant tidings in the old world.

To include everyone in the festivities, a special Safe Halloween was held every year in the middle school. It was for all of the youngest children who couldn't quite stay up as late, or even walk in some cases. Many prominent members of the town, school clubs, and community groups would each be assigned a classroom to decorate as they chose, and the children with their parents would go from room to room collecting their goodies.

As mayor of the town, Regina traditionally had a room at the school. She never dressed up, and her secretary did the decorating; however, she always handed out treats to the kids. Since it was fall, she picked apples from her beloved tree and hand-dipped them into caramel herself. It was always a struggle to keep Henry's fingers out of the sticky sweet, and keeping him from sneaking one of the finished products for himself.

Despite Regina's frosty exterior, she actually liked handing the caramel apples out to the kids. They seemed to be the only ones happy to see her, and didn't look at her with caution or avert their eyes. She tried not to let it show, but if anyone looked closely they would see her eyes twinkling with mirth. Sean and Ashley both shared looks of incredulity when the brunette handed an apple to baby Alexandra - who was dressed as a pumpkin - and actually gave a genuine and warm smile when the infant promptly stuck the dipped apple, wrapper and all, into her tiny mouth.

Safe Halloween was the only part of the holiday that the woman genuinely enjoyed, aside from spending extra time with Henry. He had stubbornly and deliberately chosen to be Prince Charming that year, and Regina begrudgingly sewed the costume for him. She also bought a plain, wooden sword, which he insisted on painting himself.

It was very chilly that night, and Regina was silently grateful that the tunic, breeches, and cape she made all added up to a very warm costume. Henry was usually bouncing up and down relentlessly in his seat when they set out from Mifflin, but this year he seemed much more subdued.

The woman could still see the excitement buzzing under his skin, but something was holding him back. She couldn't tell if something was on his mind and simply distracting him, maybe his age, or if the events in the recent months had taken away some of his enjoyment of even the most thrilling holidays. Maybe it was all of those things.

As the night wore on, the tension coiled in the pit of her stomach only grew tighter. Not from her son's behavior, but from what she knew had to be done later. It was time to discuss some very important matters with the boy, and she figured a whole mess of sweets would make him more open to her words.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

"That was fun!" Henry exclaimed, leaping out of the Benz with his loot bag in tow. It didn't take long for his mood to improve once they started hitting up the houses. He didn't care that the chill in the air was threatening to end the night's celebration early.

In fact, about ninety percent of Storybrooke seemed determined to ignore the looming presence of Winter. The children were eager, and the parents all dressed warmly. Granny was handing out free hot chocolates to anyone looking to chase away the chill, and, for all the adults without children, drinks were half-priced at the Hole.

Regina closely followed her son, and thought, not for the first time that night, that he really did look dashing dressed as a little prince. By the time she made it through the front door, Henry was already in the den. She heard him upend his candy bag on the floor, as was tradition, to begin sorting out his candy. She joined him moments later, and sat down on the floor across from him.

"Your cheeks are red, dear. Do you want me to make you a hot cocoa?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks, though," he said with a casual shrug. Leave it to him to try and show that the cold didn't bother him.

"Do you mind if I help you sort your candy?" she offered hesitantly, and he looked up at her.

"Do you know what stuff I like?"

"As your mother, I think I have an accurate idea of the sweets you do and don't like. But, you can always point me in the right direction if I'm wrong."

"Knock yourself out," he said, turning his attention back to the pile of sugary goodness between them.

They made short work of the sorting, and Henry looked fondly down at his haul, knowing that this was one of the few times a year that Regina allowed him to splurge. Once he was thoroughly engrossed in a Reeses peanut butter cup, the woman stole away to the kitchen. She returned moments later with something clutched in her hand, and the boy's eyes widened when he saw it.

"Is that for me?"

"Yes, dear. I saved one for you." She held out the dipped apple, and it disappeared from her fingers in the blink of an eye.

"Whoa, thanks Mom! I haven't had one of these in forever!" He wasted no time in tearing off the wrapper and sinking his teeth into the gooey, juicy treat. "Oh man, this 's as good as I rem'mber," he managed to get out around his mouthful of apple.

"I'm glad you still like them," Regina responded with a tight smile.

"You okay? You've been kinda quiet all night," He asked swallowing loudly. He set the apple down in its wrapper, untying his cape from around his shoulders.

"I'd be lying to you if I said I was. Henry, do you remember telling me that you weren't ready for adult conversations?" The brunette fixed the boy with an intense stare.

"Yeah...why?"

"I'd like to have one of those with you, if you're not too tired from tonight."

"I'm totally awake, Mom!" Regina smiled sadly at his eagerness.

"I thought you would be. This isn't a game, and what we're going to talk about...there's no easy solution, understand?" Henry nodded, squaring his shoulders trying to display his seriousness. "Why haven't you talked about the Curse lately?"

It was evident that her question caught the boy off guard, because his face wrinkled in confusion while tilting his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"It used to be the only thing you would speak of, Henry. Now, it almost feels as though you're pretending it doesn't exist...but you and I both know that's not the case."

A deep frown fell over his young face. "Emma's gone. There's no point in bothering with it anymore."

"Why is that?"

"'Cause it was my job to get Emma to believe. She's the key to breaking the Curse, Mom. You and I know that's how it works, since she's the Savior and all. But she's gone. I...I don't think she's coming back. So there's no point."

"Do you still want it to be broken? The Curse?" Regina asked tentatively, and Henry bit his lip, his frown deepening.

"I do... It was designed to be broken, wasn't it?" The brunette nodded in confirmation. "How come she hasn't done it then? It's her destiny, so why doesn't she see?"

Regina moved to sit next to her son, pulling him into her side for a one-armed hug. "I know you don't want to hear this, but it's complicated. You're being very mature about all of this, dear, and I am so proud of you. But, I'm afraid that's a grown-up talk for another night."

"So what's tonight's talk for?"

"What if I told you that I might be able to break the Curse?" she offered quietly.

Henry twisted to look incredulously as his mother. " _You?_ "

"Not me alone, but I will have a hand in it, yes."

"But... _why?_ I thought...I thought you'd do anything to keep it the way it is."

"I thought so as well, but things have changed, Henry."

"What things? What's changed?" he demanded.

Regina was silent for a long moment, thinking through her next response. "Do you remember what you thought was supposed to happen at the end of your book? Between Emma and myself?"

"Yeah. On her 28th birthday, she'd come to break the Curse, and the final battle would begin. Are you saying that's gonna happen?" He looked up at her, hazel eyes shining with worry.

"No, dear. You also remember when she was in the coma? And you figured out who...could wake her up?"

"Yeah. I was you..."

"Do you remember the conclusion you came to about the two of us once you figured that out?"

Henry shook his head. "No, I don't really remember anymore. What was it?"

Regina smiled fondly. "You told me that Emma was the Savior, and that it was her job to save everyone...even me. That she would save me with True Love."

"Oh! I remember now! Yeah, I bet you thought that theory was pretty lame, huh?"

"Quite the opposite, Henry. I think...I think your theory was right. Yes, the final battle would begin, but it's not a battle of Good and Evil."

"What kind of battle is it?"

"It's a battle of hearts, dear."

"I don't get it," Henry responded. "You...you haven't even _seen_ her since she hurt you. And now you're saying you love her or something? That's not right, Mom."

"It's not quite like that..."

"Then what is it like, 'cause I'm not seeing what you are right now."

"Henry, please. It's complicated."

"I know it's complicated! It's always complicated. Isn't that just life or something? You said you wanted to have a talk with me, but you leave out half of the important stuff, Mom. What're you hiding?"

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "It's not so easy to explain. It's not even easy for me to _admit._ "

"Why don't you go and tell Ruby, then? You two are all BFFs, so I'm sure you can tell _her_ your secrets!" he spat petulantly.

"Watch your tone, young man! I will not have you talk to me in that manner. If you want me to talk to you like an adult, then be patient with me like one as well," the brunette scolded. Henry closed his mouth, but the edge in his glare remained. "Things have changed. Things even I couldn't see coming."

"You keep saying that, but you don't tell me what exactly has changed."

"I know, Henry. I'm sorry that I always seem to underestimate you."

"You also say that, but never fix it. You gotta start somewhere."

"And you think this is the time for that?"

"Why not? I mean, you've already tackled talking about the Curse. Can't be heavier than that, right?" he offered with a small smile.

"I would ask if you're ready, but something tells me the answer is a yes." She reached out and took his hand. "I've had the charges against Miss Swan dropped."

"Whoa! You _what?_ How come?"

"Nothing can move forward with the arrest warrant dangling overhead."

"But she's gone...how will she even know?"

"Because I will tell her myself," Regina said evenly, forcing all emotion from her voice..

"How? She's missing!"

"I've...been communicating with her."

The boy's jaw dropped. "Since when? Communicating? Like on phones or something? How long?!" he demanded sharply.

"Roughly two months."

"But how!"

"I know where she is..."

"And you didn't tell me? You just let me think she was gone forever? What's _wrong_ with you! Why would you do that to me!" Henry was on his feet, his little fists clenched into tight balls.

"Because it wasn't the right time, Henry! You have to understand that I didn't do this out of malicious intent, but I was doing it for everyone's good! We all needed time!"

"That's the worst excuse!" he yelled.

"Henry-"

"No! I don't wanna hear any more!" He turned and bolted from the room, and Regina could hear the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut. She remained seated on the floor for several long minutes.

She wasn't entirely certain what she expected to happen that night, but she did know that his reaction wasn't surprising. She knew the topic of his birthmother would be a sensitive one, and storming off was actually a far better outcome than she had expected. Regina knew his anger was only a mask for the hurt and confusion he felt. Leaving him alone for the time being to sort through his emotions was the best course of action, and she busied herself with picking up the pile of candies on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! I love the response that this story has gotten, and I sincerely enjoy hearing from you guys. So, don't be shy! Find me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. com and you should also seek out my marvelous beta, Jasmine, as she's even more awesome than I! She can be found at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com


	44. What the Heart Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has a very serious, albeit convoluted, discussion with Emma about the Curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait on this chapter! I've been caught up in life's currents, dealing with travels, car troubles, sickness and everything in between. I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's the last step before the Big one. The moment we've all been waiting for. Enjoy!

Regina pulled the bubbling casserole dish from the oven, carefully placing it on a cooling rack. Henry was still upset from the previous night's discussion, but she tried not to let it bother her too much. She understood that he needed time to process his feelings. After all, everything he thought he knew about this place and what was supposed to happen had just been turned upside-down.

It was true that he hadn't lost faith in the town's origins, and his birthmother's destiny; however, the events that took place were far from what he originally anticipated. It was always his assumption that Emma was his ally, the one he needed to convince, and the one who would be rightfully earning the title of Savior. But this reality? The one where it was the Evil Queen taking the hardest of steps? It went against his beliefs. It went against his story.

Regina stared at the oven after turning it off. The last time she used it to make something for the blonde, it was a turnover that ultimately changed just about everything in her life. The lasagna's scent permeated the kitchen, and she caught herself wondering if Emma would even trust to eat the dish. She smiled, though, thinking that the half-starved woman's stomach would trump any trust issues she might have.

Ruby's intentions were kind and genuine, aiding a friend despite all that had transpired. But it was clear that even if the wolf had thought to bring her friend some real food - instead of instant macaroni and cheese, ramen noodles, and oatmeal packets - Emma wouldn't have even known how to cook it anyway. The Savior may be able to break the curse to end all curses, but the brunette knew through Henry that Emma couldn't even prepare a simple meat sauce.

As much as Regina would have liked to think that she was bringing the blonde a hearty meal out of the goodness of her heart, she knew that the food was mostly a cover. She didn't know why she was still coming up with excuses for her visits to the cabin. Perhaps it was the fact that simply dropping by was almost too intimate, too familiar, for her comfort.

Her real intentions for seeing the sheriff again were closely related to what she talked to Henry about the night before: The Curse. More specifically, breaking it. It was a reality she resisted for far too long. Rumple never designed the Curse to last forever. He created it with the intention that it would be broken. She could try and keep it intact, but with Emma's presence, it had become unstable. As much as she hated to admit it, Regina knew that the sooner the Curse broke, the better off things would be. At least...that's what she hoped.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina rapped sharply on the weathered door, standing rather rigidly from a combination of nerves and the cold. She gripped the handles of her insulated food bag tightly, her gloved fingers clenching when she heard the telltale _thump_ of Emma's irregular gait.

"Who is it?" came the cautious, muffled voice.

"Regina, dear." The door swung open, and the two women stared at each other. Emma was leaning casually on her cane, decked out in a pair of track pants and a thick, lumpy cardigan. Her hair was scraped back into a ponytail, and it made the thin, red lines down her face more visible.

"I didn't expect to see you back so soon," the blonde remarked, not moving aside to allow Regina entry.

"I can leave, if you so desire." Emma stared at the other woman for a long moment, and then she stepped to the side. The brunette nodded and entered. A fire crackled warmly, filling the air with a satisfying, smoky scent, but there was still a definite chill that stubbornly remained.

Regina set her bag down, and took off her trench coat, revealing a graphite-gray turtleneck underneath and crisply-pressed slacks. She loosened the scarf adorning her neck, but did not remove it. Emma simply stood awkwardly nearby, watching silently. The mayor could feel the pressure of those green eyes on her, and she suppressed a shudder.

"What's in the bag?" the Savior decided to break the ice, and Regina turned around to face her.

"Miss Swan, I do have eyes. You're wasting away, and I've heard that scurvy is quite an unpleasant way to die. I've brought you some real food." She stooped, picking up the bag and heading to the kitchenette.

"Real food, huh? What's this stuff gonna do? Turn me into a goat? Make me mute?"

Regina sighed, closing her eyes. "No. The only thing this will do," she said, pulling the dish from the bag. "Is give you a full stomach." She looked at the blonde, and saw her gaze lingering longingly on the food.

"And your turnover was supposed to be a gesture of good will, and peaceful parting. Look how that turned out," she shot back, wincing. She didn't mean to be so confrontational, but it was like something had control of her mouth.

"You're right. And I have no right to hold your suspicion against you, but I'm not trying to hurt you anymore. Would you be more willing to eat if you were to see me eat it first?"

Emma faltered. "What is it? That you brought?"

"My specialty, dear. It's lasagna." She smiled when the younger woman's eyes flitted down to the dish again.

"Is it still warm?"

"Quite." Regina heard a tiny moan in response. Without waiting for any further response, she pulled out a plate and serving utensils from the bag. She peeled back the foil, and the savory scent of lasagna filled the air. She cut out a healthy helping, plopping the steaming stack of noodles, sauce, cheese and meat onto the plate. She put a fork and knife on it, then held it out to the blonde.

Emma looked at the offering, biting her lip in uncertainty. Regina just smiled softly, holding the dish steady. The moment of indecision stretched on for a moment longer, and then the brunette felt the plate being whisked away. The blonde didn't even bother to sit herself down before digging into the lasagna. A very audible groan of satisfaction slipped out around her mouthful of food.

"There. Nothing bad has happened to you," Regina said with the tone one uses when saying 'I told you so.' Emma rolled her eyes, and made her way to the spindly table, still shoveling food into her mouth. The meal was gone in record time. In fact, Regina had never seen anyone eat that fast before, not even Henry.

"That was...really fucking good, Regina."

"A full stomach makes everything better. How do you feel?"

"Tired," the blonde sighed.

"Is that bad?"

"No, actually. It's kinda nice feeling sleepy for once."

"I take it that you're still sleeping poorly?"

Emma shrugged, not meeting the brunette's eyes. "Yes and no..."

"Meaning?" Regina pressed.

"Meaning that I'm still sleeping like shit most nights...except the nights you're in my fucking dreams." The blonde glanced at her guest, looking for a reaction. However, the mayor just blinked and nodded once.

"I thought as much," she said calmly.

"The fuck does that even mean?" Emma snapped.

"You've mentioned this phenomenon to me before, dear. What happens when I'm in your dreams?"

"You're seriously asking me that right now?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand you," the blonde said, crossing her arms in frustration.

"The feeling is mutual, but it still doesn't answer my question. What happens?"

Emma crossed her arms over her middle more tightly, scowling at a spot on the floor. "Things get...calmer. The people go away, and it's just us. And...and I feel warm again. Why? What's it to you?" she asked defensively.

"And I say nothing in these dreams?"

"No. I mean, before I knew it was you, you used to talk all the time. But nothing I could understand. Just...muffled words. Now you're just kinda _there._ "

"Meaning your subconscious doesn't know what I would say."

"Why would it? I don't really even know you."

"That is, perhaps, for the better."

"Okay, you're just getting more and more cryptic. Care to stop?"

"Miss Swan...Emma...you don't believe in Henry's theory about the curse, do you?" Regina watched the blonde's lips part, and her eyes narrow.

"No. It's total hogwash. I mean, how could I possibly believe in something as ridiculous as that?"

"Indeed. No sane person would. But one finds belief often takes a bit of distance from sanity. That's beside the point, though."

"There's a point?" Emma asked. Regina shot her a look.

"May I ask you a hypothetical question?"

"I suppose," the blonde shrugged.

"What if Henry's idea about the curse was actually real?" the brunette questioned cautiously. "How would you react?"

"I d'know. I guess I'd be kinda shocked."

"No, beyond just the entity of the curse itself. If Henry's right, it would mean that you've found your family. It would mean that you have a higher calling than just a small town sheriff," Regina said intensely.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Emma, what would you do if you found out that you really were the Savior?"

"Uhhh." Emma blinked, completely dumbfounded. "I'd have to break the curse, right? But...I don't want any of that. I don't want to be anybody's hero. More than anything, I just want my life to go back to normal. It's all fucking wrong right now. The last thing I need is to find out I'm some savior."

"Do you never read books? Haven't you ever noticed that the hero rarely _wants_ to be the hero? They are thrust into extraordinary situations, and they either sink or swim. However, a benefit of being the hero means you usually get to swim."

"I'm no hero. I'd sink so fast. Why does any of this even matter to you?"

"And your family?"

"I'm sorry...what?"

"I read his book, and I've heard him talk about this curse, dear. If, hypothetically speaking, it's real, you'd have your family right here. Your parents...they're within spitting distance of you."

"That's nice and all, but again, not real. So there's no point in me fantasizing about parents of mine who aren't real. Seriously, Regina. What the fuck is-"

"What about me?" Regina cut in. Silence fell between them. "What if...what if I really was the Evil Queen?" Mahogany eyes bored into Emma's, and the blonde heard the slight catch in the older woman's voice.

"...I don't know."

"You don't know what, Emma? You don't know if you would hate me? Want to kill me? You don't know if you would do everything in your power to keep Henry from the villain?"

"Regina, I...I don't know. It just...doesn't seem _real_."

" _What,_ Emma. What doesn't seem real?" There was genuine pleading in Regina's voice, and the blonde found herself squirming with discomfort. Something was wrong, but she couldn't tell what. And the worst part if the entire situation was that she wanted to somehow comfort the woman. She didn't know why it seemed so important, or why the urge felt so strong, but she was determined to quell it.

"You? The Evil Queen?" She drew air quotes around the moniker. "Regina, you know how to throw a punch, and you're definitely no stranger to fighting dirty...but the villain? The woman who tried to kill a girl 'cause she was _prettier?_ It just doesn't seem like...you."

"I thought you didn't know me," Regina pointed out.

"I don't, but that doesn't mean I can't make out your character. You've done some really sketchy shit, like poison me. But...that was 'cause you were trying to hold on to Henry. It wasn't about looks or anything. You were a mother fighting for her child. As fucked up as it all is, that's more human than anything. The bad guy doesn't do that...well, minus the poisoning bit." She looked up at Regina, and was surprised to see tears shining in the woman's eyes.

"You're such a beautiful _idiot,_ Emma!"

Emma's jaw dropped. "I-what, wait? That was kinda mean. I mean...I'm not the brightest, but I'm not a moron. Did you call me beautiful? Why are you crying? Regina, what's going on?" she gibbered, stumbling over her words.

"How can you be so blind, but still see so much?" the older woman said with a fond incredulity. "I will never understand you."

"Regina...seriously. Have you gone crazy or something? You're talking like you kinda believe the kid, and did you really call me beautiful?"

"What if you did believe, Emma? Me aside, what if you did believe in the Curse? You said you would break it. Why?"

"I don't know, Regina! Why the fuck is this so important to you? How would I even break the stupid curse anyway? It's not like there's a manual or anything!"

A deep sigh escaped the mayor's lips. "You read Henry's book." Emma nodded. "Do you remember what the most powerful magic is?"

"Something sappy. Love, right?"

" _True_ Love, Emma. According to the book, True Love can break any curse. It can transcend realms...even time. That's how you would break the Curse, dear."

"That's all well and good, but even if were real, I don't have True Love, or anything. So yeah, it's a good thing it the curse thingy doesn't exist, 'cause then I'd be really screwed."

"Emma Swan," Regina sighed, standing up, and the Savior stood in response, looking unsure at her guest. "You truly are an idiot." She stepped up close to the blonde, right into her personal space. The soft scent of jasmine invaded the sheriff's nostrils, and it actually helped to calm her jangling nerves.

"It's not about who you _think_ your True Love might be," she whispered, placing her hand against the blonde's temple. Emma inhaled sharply, feeling that warmth blossoming from the contact. "It's about what your heart _knows._ " She pressed her palm over the Savior's thudding heart.

Emma literally stopped breathing for a very long moment. The second Regina's hand came in contact with her chest, the most blissful heat tore through her body. The brunette offered a small, knowing smile, and left without another word, carrying her coat out with her. Emma touched her fingers to where Regina's had been mere moments prior, feeling the heat lingering in her skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was pretty good, huh? As always, a heap of credit goes out to my most beloved Beta, Jasmine. Please find her amazing self at obligatory-regal-name. tumblr. com and you can find me at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com Don't be shy!


	45. Brave - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina muses on what her life has come to, resting on one very important decision. She has a final talk with her son, resolving to do the right thing, the scariest thing, and the bravest thing she has ever done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! So, I wasn't sure how I was going to do this chapter. Originally, I was planning on it being one, /long/ piece. But when I finished this section, I knew that it was another two-parter. But don't worry! I promise it won't be another month for the follow-up. Hopefully only a few days! 
> 
> I wanted to thank all of you who kept reminding me (AKA begging) to keep up the work. As I said, a lot of changes have been happening in my life, and it's been difficult to find the time and motivation for me to write. 
> 
> Here's the first part of an exciting climax! Enjoy!

It was 2:33am, and Regina Mills sat on the lounge in her study. She was in her warm, satin pajamas and soft, cotton robe. Her hair was limp, and shadows crept underneath her eyes. Her right hand was resting casually on her thigh while her left elbow was perched on the armrest, her forearm standing straight up.

A soft, slow breath drifted from her nose, and she watched the clock ticking on the wall. Everything in her world was wrong at that very moment. There were so many things that were supposed to be happening in that hour, which seemed like habit. Yet, all of them felt old, and not old as in tiring, but more like dusty, unclear memories. The ones we all look back on in the later years of our lives; the ones that make us feel a little sad, even though we can't remember why.

In the normal, sane routine of her life, Regina would have been asleep. Having seen Henry off to bed, and finished up any lingering paperwork of the day, she'd have gone to bed, resting for the next day to come. But after the turnover, the brunette would have been in the hospital room at this late hour. She would have been hearing the blonde's heart speed up, and she would have been touching ice-cold flesh.

After she kissed the sheriff was when all the complications began. She had kept her mouth shut. About everything. The truth of Emma's situation, the attempt to remove her from Henry's life, how she was awoken. _Why_ she was woken that way. Most importantly, Regina kept her feelings far away from Emma. The former Queen had found a way back to the part of her heart she had buried a lifetime ago; back to the warmth and tenderness of a time spent in stables, or picnicking under the shade of a mighty, lone tree, back to the time when she smiled freely and with love in her eyes.

Regina had finally found something true, and inherently _human_ in herself when she had spent all that time with the cursed Savior. However, she couldn't let that part be seen or known by others, least of all the object of her strange affection. After all, love was weakness.

The woman sat in the dim light of the study, wondering if things would have been different if she had been honest with Emma. What if she had stayed in the room with her after the kiss? What if she had been braver? Would any of this have happened?

Perhaps it would have saved her from a brutal beating, but what would have resulted? What would have been different? Another sigh crossed her lips. It seemed more likely that it would have driven the woman away. Emma was notoriously commitment-phobic, and she didn't even have feelings for Regina anyway. Well...none that she was consciously aware of; an aspect of True Love that the brunette genuinely despised.

True Love didn't give you a choice. You were going to love them, no matter what happened. Control was the mayor's addiction - in lieu of having her magic - something she needed since she was robbed of it in the old realm.

She was being forced to fall in love with the nettlesome blonde; forces beyond her own formidable powers had already determined its occurrence. Savior and Queen were destined to come together, to meet and love in one lifetime or another. Whether in this realm, or in any of the infinite others, Emma and Regina would have found a way to come together. Just as Snow and Charming would always love each other, and Cinderella and her prince, and even Rumplestiltskin and Belle. All of them were drawn to each other, compelled to find what made them...whole.

She knew that Emma felt something. The poor woman's confusion was evidence enough of that. The blonde was completely bewildered by the fact that she couldn't harbor feelings of hatred for the woman who tried to hurt her...in more ways than one.

Regina knew that those feelings were locked away deep inside the Savior's heart, buried in the place where her Belief was also shrouded. The obvious solution was to make her see that she had those feelings, but there was one, important problem: The Evil Queen didn't fix things. She hunted, killed, and destroyed. This was neither the time nor the place for any sort of sick courtship. It was her move, and she couldn't see the board or the pieces. She was blind.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The brunette sat up from her seat, slowly, groaning as she did so. She glanced at the clock again. It was 2:48am. Late. Far too late. She walked slowly out of the study, padding her way up the stairs. Her eye twitched slightly as her feet twinged on every stair.

She recalled the deep, painful gashes on her soles, and she recalled why they were there to begin with. It was, once again, all due to her cowardliness and her fear of her heart. She had put herself and Emma in danger, all for her own fear and selfish desire to see the illusion of a man long dead. She sighed heavily, stooping over her bed to pick up something tucked carefully between her pillows.

Object in hand, Regina quietly strode to Henry's room, opening the door silently - a skill only parents seem to know. It was dimly lit by his little rotating lamp. The curtains were drawn, and the sound of her son's even snores greeted her ears. She smiled sadly, seeing his mop of nut-brown hair sticking up over his mussed pile of blankets. He was perfect.

She swallowed nervously, approaching his bed. When she sank down onto it, placing a delicate hand on his thigh, the boy stirred but didn't wake. She whispered his name, giving his leg a gentle shake. Henry groaned, rolling onto his back, eyes still squeezed shut.

"'S matter? Nibbles stuck in the lamp again?" He threw his arm over his eyes, reluctant to leave the dreaming world.

"No, Henry. This isn't a dream, my little prince." Regina used a tender voice, the kind she really only reserved for times when Henry was sick, or scared of a nightmare.

The boy rubbed groggily at his eyes. "Mom? How come you're here?"

"I need to talk to you."

He peered with bleary eyes at his alarm clock. "Couldn't wait 'til morning?"

"Henry..." Regina started, but her voice broke, and she cast her eyes down to her clasped hands.

The lack of strength, of confidence - qualities which were synonymous with the name Regina Mills - immediately piqued the boy's concern. "Mom? Are you okay?"

The older woman's knee-jerk reaction was to assure the young man, the light of her life, that she was, indeed, just fine. But it wasn't true, so silence replaced those hollow words of reassurance. After a beat, she said, "No. Henry...this life I have given you...all the lessons you've learned, the love you've had, and everything you have known up until now..." She opened her mouth to continue, but the words felt stuck in her throat.

Henry finally sat up, facing his mother, brow furrowed. "What? What are you trying to say?"

"I...you know that I've only ever wanted to do what's best for you, right?" She met her son's gaze, and her expression was open, vulnerable even.

Henry looked at her skeptically, but he nodded nonetheless. "I-I know, Mom...I really do."

"And you've know about the truth, the Curse, for a long time. When...when you started talking about it, I did everything in my power to discredit you." She looked away, her cheeks coloring with shame, but it was too dark for Henry to see. "I want you to know that even adults make mistakes. Rather, _especially_ adults make mistakes. No one is immune to their own humanity. We're flawed, all of us, right from birth.

"You discovered what this town was, and I tried to make it seem like you were crazy, or just touting a child's fantasy. I won't ask your forgiveness for that. It was something I never should have done to you. As a person, and as your mother. I was selfish and scared."

"Scared? Of what?" he asked, continuing to frown at the older woman.

Regina steadily met his gaze. "Of you, my dear." Henry blinked, cocking his head in confusion. "I was scared of how you saw me. Not as your mother, or even caretaker. You only saw the Evil Queen. A woman who perpetrated countless, abhorrent atrocities, as someone, quite frankly, inhuman.

"I missed you calling me 'Mom,' and looking at me with love and affection. I missed that you needed me, and that I would always be there for you. I was blinded, and spent a lifetime doing all the wrong things..."

"Mom, slow down. You...you're scaring me. You're talking like you're gonna die or something. People only have these kinds of talks in books right before something really bad happens."

Regina grimaced at his words, thinking, _I may very well die, and it would be a death I deserve._

"Mom?" He looked scared.

"Henry...I have tried to be so much for you. To be the parent you needed. To love you unconditionally. But...I am the Evil Queen."

"Mom..."

"You've only read a fraction of what I've done in that book of yours, but even that small window is enough to see the horrors I've done, the lives I've stolen and ruined. I am the Villain."

"Mom," Henry interrupted again. "What are you trying to get at? Why are you saying these things to me? Why...why are you making yourself less?"

Regina squeezed her eyes shut, concentrating on evening out her breaths, quelling the great wave of emotion crashing through her. "Because, Henry," she said softly, opening her eyes. You deserve better. More. No one cheers for the Villain. No one is there to take the bullet for them, to defend them when their hour is darkest.

"There won't be anyone to come protect me, Henry, because I am the reason why this town exists. And I have hurt everyone in it-"

" _I_ will protect you!" the boy said fiercely.

Regina smiled a sad, knowing smile, and she reached out to gently cup her son's face. Her heart soared for a moment, basking in the warmth she felt when he didn't pull away at her touch. "I know you would, my little prince, but we must all pick our battles. This is one you absolutely cannot fight."

"But-" Regina pressed her fingertip to his lips.

"This isn't a matter of persuasion, Henry. Or belief. These people won't abide by this world's laws, and justice is very different for them."

"So...so you're gonna do it?" he asked, his voice suddenly small. "Break the Curse?"

The brunette pulled her hand away. "It's time."

"You're...you're saying goodbye, aren't you?" His hazel eyes bored into her own, and she felt her heart just about split in two.

"Which is why I brought you this." She held out the object she took from her bed.

"You're trying to give me Stuffles?" Regina thought she heard a waver in his voice.

"To keep you safe, just as he kept me safe, like you promised he would." She held it out to him, but he pushed it away.

"No. No, I won't take him. I don't need to be kept safe! _You_ have to keep him. _You_ have to be protected. You're...my mom. And I need you to stick around a _be_ my mom." He launched his small body at her, pressing his head firmly against her chest, his arms wrapped securely around her middle. He felt the tiny _pat_ of a teardrop land in his hair, followed by the pressure of his mother's cheek to his head.

"I would never willingly leave you, Henry," she said, voice thick with emotion.

"Then stay. Don't go," he responded with a stubborn edge.

"You know I have to. You know the Curse has to be broken, and Emma..."

"Is it 'cause you love her?" He pulled away enough to look the brunette in her teary eyes.

Regina drank in his young face. A face that was beginning to mature a little, but his boyish youth still shone through. His eyes were wide and imploring, and she found she could no longer lie to him and wondered how she ever did in the first place.

"Yes. I...love her."

"And this is the only way to make her see...to make her believe..."

"Yes," she answered in a small voice.

"It's not right," he said, his lip jutting out in a pout. "Why do you have to do this?"

Regina smoothed his sleep-tousseled hair. "You've been chomping at the bit to have the Curse broken. Why the change of heart?" she asked tenderly.

"Because...no one's supposed to die. You shouldn't have to..." He averted his gaze, biting the corner of his lip; a display that Regina knew meant he was fighting back tears.

"My brave boy... You've read that book cover to cover. What is it that is always said about magic?"

Henry paused, obviously trying to recall what he knew. "That...all magic comes with a price?" She nodded once. "Oh..."

"Someone has to pay it."

"Why you? Why can't someone else? Or why does it have to be with your life? Why can't people forgive?"

Regina smiled proudly at her son, though the sadness still clung to her face. "Why can't people forgive? Your compassion knows no bounds, my dear. Forgiveness is much harder when you're caught up in anger, hatred..."

"But it's not impossible, though...right?" Hope shone in his eyes.

"I...I suppose not, but, Henry...holding out for that kind of miracle will only leave you with bitter disappointment."

"We don't need a miracle," he said quietly, musing more to himself than anything. "We just need to _believe_. You just need...the Savior." He looked earnestly into Regina's eyes. "Emma! Your True Love is the _Savior_ , Mom! There's no way she'd let anyone hurt you!"

"A fine idea, but..." She smiled, her face pained, and it spoke volumes of a hurt Henry had never seen in his mother before. "I thought that about True Love once...it was naive, and cost me more than I care to tell you..." She swallowed painfully, her throat suddenly thick.

The boy looked to his mother, hurt and defeat waging a fierce battle with the hope he still clung to. "But...she's the Savior. She has to... She's gonna bring back all the happy endings...even yours."

Another tear slid swiftly down the brunette's cheek. "I cannot afford to think like that."

"So...so you're gonna break the Curse, and make Emma see that she's your True Love, just so her and I can watch you _die?_ " Regina began to cry in earnest, tears flowing freely down her face. Henry reached up and tried to smear them off of her cheek. "You know that's not right!"

"No...it's not..." She reached for the box of tissues next to her son's bed, plucking one out and dabbing at her face.

"But...you're still gonna do it..." Anger tinged his words.

"I don't expect you to understand, Henry. But yes. I-I have to."

"Are you scared?" His question was simple, but it felt personal, almost profound, like a small child asking if their parent was ever afraid of the dark or the monster under their bed when they were young too.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Me too," he replied in an equally-small voice.

Regina pulled her son in for a tight, emotional embrace. He buried himself into her arms, and she pressed her lips to the top of his head, inhaling his unique scent. Neither made any move to break the moment, so they simply stayed together, cherishing the feeling of a repaired relationship.

"I love you, Henry. So much. I will never regret every single moment I spent with you, and watching you grow. Your presence in my life was the only good thing to come of this Curse. You made me feel whole again." She held him a little tighter.

"I love you too, Mom," he whispered into her chest. "I'm sorry...for everything." His voice broke a little, and he sniffled.

"No, my dear. I'm sorry that I ever gave you reason to think I was evil..." He squeezed her tighter, to the point that it was almost uncomfortable, but neither felt the need to protest. Reluctantly, she pulled away, and placed a firm, lingering kiss to his forehead.

Henry picked up the discarded Stuffles, placing him in his mother's hands. "He's your protector." She gave him a watery smile in return, and he threw himself at her for one last hug.

"It's time, my little prince."

Henry sniffled again, wiping at his nose. "Mom, promise me you'll try to believe? To believe that Emma can save you? Please?"

Regina reached out and trailed her fingers slowly down his face. "For you, I will." She knew that if she didn't leave right at that moment, she might never. She placed one more kiss in her son's hair, stood up, and left, turning to look at him as she was closing his door.

Their eyes met, and thousands of unspoken feelings and words flowed between them, a deep, heartbreaking understanding coming to settle heavily in the space separating them. And then the door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, a huge thanks to my beta, Jasmine. She helped me a whole lot with the planning for this chapter, and the motivation to actually /write/ it. I couldn't have done it without you! <3


	46. Brave - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has her final confrontation with Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize so deeply for the long wait again. But here it is! The moment you have all been waiting for! I hope you enjoy it!

Regina drove up to the little cabin, her Benz pumping out heat in the frigid 3am air. The barest hint of steely-gray light teased the horizon, below the tree line. She swallowed, pulling up beside the garish bug, steeling her nerves. She gripped Stuffles, staring into well-worn eyes. "It's time," she said with a resolve she didn't feel. She placed the little protector on the passenger seat, picking up a small satchel as she exited the car.

The cabin looked quiet and dark, and her heart fell slightly when she rounded the corner to see the front porch vacant of one Emma Swan. "It's time," she repeated once more to herself. She didn't bother knocking.

Regina swung the door open slowly, jaw tensing at every creak of the rusty hinges. She looked around the small space, struggling to adjust to the dim light. The fire had long since disintegrated to coals, leaving the half moon as the only source of light.

Emma was sitting on her cot, forearms resting on her knees, fingers laced together, eyes peering up at the intrusion. Oddly enough, the woman seemed entirely unperturbed by Regina's appearance. Instead, she let an audible sigh escape her lips.

"Regina? What are you doing here?" Her words misted in the air.

"I've..." Her voice caught. The blonde stood up. She was not leaning on her cane, and she didn't have the height of her boots, but the lines of her body were rigid, her eyes shadowed by a dark, haunted look. Deep slashes of purple hung underneath them, her skin pale in the weak moonlight.

Emma took a step toward her guest. Then another. "You've...?" She stared evenly into brown eyes that appeared black in the low lighting.

"I've...come to tell you the truth," she said, choking back the hitch in her voice.

"Now you're coming to tell me the truth? About what? And why now?" Emma demanded, walking slowly closer. "After all this fucking time?"

There was barely more than a foot of space between them, and Regina felt the familiar spark she felt when they used to go toe to toe, blow for blow. "I'm not saying my timing is right-"

"It sure as fuck isn't! Did you know that I haven't slept for three days? I'm exhausted, my body aches everywhere, I'm fucking starving to death out here... _and_ I think I'm going insane." She raked shaking fingers through her mess of tangled curls. "What good does the truth do me anyway? 'Cause it's starting to feel like I'm gonna die out here."

"No. You're not. I won't let you," the brunette said softly, but firmly.

"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?" Emma snapped.

"It means I'm feeding you, you idiot," Regina bit back, roughly shoving the satchel she brought into the other woman's arms.

Emma reached into the bag and pulled out a container of leftover minestrone soup with a spoon was taped to the lid. Her green eyes looked up, searching the brunette's face. "Why? I...I don't understand."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Miss Swan," Regina said tersely.

"Yeah, the last time I did that, I got poisoned," came the stony reply.

The mayor paled. "This...this isn't like that," she whispered.

"Oh really? How? Explain to me how this time you want to keep me alive, when you thought a couple months ago it'd be a great idea to off me?"

"I don't want you dead!" Her voice rose as fire raced under her skin. "I've never wanted you dead!"

"That's a fucking _lie!_ " Emma shouted, leaning closer to her adversary. "I'm tired of your cryptic games! I'm tired of everything!"

"And you need to wake up," Regina retorted hotly.

"Are you kidding me? _I_ need to wake up? I'm awake! I've _been_ awake! And my life has been a goddamned nightmare! It's been so fucking fucked that I find myself wishing I was still in that coma! At least I wasn't here! At least...at least Henry still loved me." Emma stumbled back a few steps, bending over as little lights popped up in her vision. She pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead, groaning.

"Emma? Are...are you okay?"

"Fine," she grunted out. "Just dizzy."

Regina wordlessly guided Emma to the nearest chair at the dining table. She placed the soup in front of the younger woman, reaching for a box of matches beside a half-burnt candlestick. She lit it, creating a small orb of light, but deepening the shadows around them. "Eat," she commanded once.

She turned her attention to the empty hearth. Gloved hands stirred up the coals, placing logs over them, and poking tinder in between. Emma just watched, and several, painfully-quiet minutes later, a small fire had caught.

Regina stood again, facing Emma. "Eat," she said once more, but with a surprising tenderness. "A soldier fights better on a full stomach."

"Does this mean I should be expecting a battle? Maybe even a war?" the blonde asked, her eyes narrowed.

"A war? Perhaps...but not the kind you might be thinking of, dear." The brunette moved to settle into the only other chair at the little table, and she watched the other woman pop off the top of the container. "I know it's not warm, but I figured-" she paused, an amused expression on her face. Emma had begun to shovel the soup into her mouth. "-That anything was better than nothing."

"It's goo'," the blonde managed around her full mouth. Swallowing, she looked sheepishly to her guest. "I...I don't know what's happening, but...thanks, I guess. F-for the soup." She looked away, hoping the low, flickering candlelight would hide her blush, missing the way Regina's lips twitched upward.

"Emma..." she began, hating herself for the unsure tone of her voice. "I didn't come here just to bring you a meal."

"Oh...yeah," the blonde said, suddenly nervous herself. "You said something about the truth?" She wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

"I am about to place a burden upon you; one that no one should ever have to bear. And I'm going to give you a truth you've been blissfully denying since you came to Storybrooke. The truth comes first."

"Regina, wait," Emma breathed. "I...I don't know that I wanna hear any of this. You're not exactly a shining ball of rainbows, but...but you sound... _scared._ "

"Yes, Miss Swan. I am scared," the older woman said softly, her voice and expression carefully schooled. "What I'm going to tell you, well...none of it bodes well for me."

"You've lost me, again. Don't try and sugarcoat this, or preface it with anything. Just tell it to me straight."

"Very well. Henry is not crazy, Miss Swan. He has never lied to you, and everything he has ever told you was the complete, undeniable, revolting truth."

Emma's brow creased in confusion. "About what?"

"The Curse. Everyone in this town. You. Me..." Regina clenched her jaw tightly, her cool facade beginning to crumble already.

The blonde leaned back in her chair and started to laugh. "Ha. Ha, Regina! Very funny, but I don't think now is the time for a prank."

"This isn't a prank," the mayor said evenly.

"Uh huh, right! And my pants are also made out of gold!"

"Miss Swan!" Regina said sharply. "I am not playing around! Hear my words, and use your superpower. You tell me if I'm lying."

The laughter fell from the blonde's lips, and she sobered immediately. "You're actually serious?"

"Completely. The Curse is real, Miss Swan." No ping. "You are not just the sheriff of a sleepy town, I am not just the mayor, Ms Blanchard is not just a simpering school teacher..." No ping. "You...are the Savior." No ping.

Emma swallowed hard. "But...I'm not," she said weakly.

"You were meant to come here, to do as your destiny demands. You came here because fate made it so."

"No, Henry-"

"Wound up in this town by more than just chance. I know this means nothing to you right now, but you're a Charming. You will always find your way to your family. They're all here..." Regina said in a voice so heavy with sorrow, that Emma felt her own heart twinge in pain.

"My...my family?" It was a phrase that had rarely graced the young woman's lips, and the concept felt foreign to her. She had spent so much time trying to hate them, or reason that her parents were unprepared teens, drunks, drug addicts, or any other unsavory thing to justify her abandonment. The idea that she had parents, here, who were far from the pathetic trash she imagined them to be, felt like a betrayal.

"Your family is here. Your mother. Your father...Henry..." She sat rigidly, her eyes tight, barely holding onto her composure as she felt tiny fractures begin to cut into her heart.

Emma's own expression was more openly pained. "M-My mother? Mary Margaret?"

"And David Nolan. It's why they can't stay apart from each other, even here. They are True Loves. Not even the Curse's power can trump the strength of True Love..."

"And you-"

"Yes."

"-Are really her?" A hint of disgust flashed across green eyes. "You did this?" Her voice rose. "You're the fucking reason why all of this happened? Why my life...my time in the system...th-the _torture_ I suffered happened?!" Anger now defined every line of the blonde's body. "You're the reason I grew up without my fucking family?" Hard, angry tears of devastation glittered in her narrowed eyes.

"I am not proud of my actions, nor will I ever ask your forgiveness for them."

Emma slammed two clenched fists onto the tiny table. " _Fuck you!_ " Regina flinched, squeezing her eyes shut as though she had seen something truly disgusting in an operating room.

"Defend yourself!" Emma half-shouted.

"No," came the quiet refusal.

"You're the Evil Queen! Fight back, goddamn it!" she yelled, shooting to her feet.

"No, Emma."

"Why!" The blonde ran her fingers through her hair in agitation.

"I...can't."

"That's not good enough!"

"I can't fight you!" Regina almost pleaded. "I've fought everything my whole life! A life that's been too long! I'm done fighting! And...and I can't fight you, Emma." She too stood, turning her back to the sheriff, trying to hide tears that were threatening to spill over.

"What do you even mean?" The words came out aggressively, but Regina could hear doubt beneath them.

"If you let me explain...if you let me do the right thing, for once...I will." She turned around, her face open, eyes glassy and asking for just one more chance. "Nothing I have ever done in my life has scared me so much as doing this does now." Regina's head hung, and she looked up through long lashes.

"I-I must be crazy for listening to you," Emma grunted.

 _No, dear. You're not crazy...just..in love,_ Regina thought to herself.

"Okay, so, say what you gotta say, but no lying. I'll know." The brunette inclined her head in acknowledgement.

The two sat back down, the cold air thick with tension. "Emma...have you ever felt a kind of pain, an _anguish_ , a...a helplessness that consumes you? When your entire being, your own existence aches, and you wish you could walk into the ocean and fade away?

"But...you're so _angry._ Angry at the world, at every person who ever betrayed you, lied to you, disappointed you. And you let the anger fill up all the empty spaces, convince to you to stay alive out of spite, out of a twisted sense of Justice...or so you call it in your head.

"Except, it's not justice... It's vengeance. And...it's the only clear thought, the only emotion that makes you feel powerful again, like you're in control...even though you thought you never could...Have you ever felt that?"

A heavy silence hung between the two women, and only the crackling flames broke it. Regina's downcast eyes were two black pools that led to a haunted, jaded past. Emma's face was tight with pain, her fists clenched on her thighs.

"Yes." The Savior broke the silence. "Thanks to you," she added bitterly.

Regina did not react. "That was how I felt before I cast the Curse. Every move I made, every decision I carried out...it all ultimately backed me into a corner. I had no way out."

"Surrender wasn't an option?" Emma scoffed.

"Not when power is your addiction; not when power is the only thing keeping you alive. It wasn't entirely my plan...to cast the Curse. I had been manipulated by someone more powerful than I, though I thought myself superior to him."

"Who?"

"Rumplestiltskin," Regina said dryly, and Emma snorted. "Laugh all you like, Miss Swan. He is not a man to be trifled with. He had groomed me as his one of his pawns for this singular purpose for over a decade. He made it so I was powerful enough to cast the Curse. I have yet to discover why he desired it to be cast.

"But I digress. I was in a state of such acute despair that casting the Curse to end all other curses seemed like the only way to win. To finally have what I wanted. At least...I convinced myself of that. I had decided that if I could not be happy, no one could. When no one was happy, I would finally be victorious.

"But there was a problem. A rumor that a child would be the downfall of my Curse. That this child had the power to break it, to defeat the evil, and bring back all of the happy endings. The Savior," she finished, looking pointedly at the other woman.

"Me? But...how'd I escape? August said...said I came through a tree," she mused, recalling the tumultuous evening when the writer took her to where she had been found. When he tried to convince her she was the Savior.

"Your dear parents, the Charmings, put their infant baby in a magical wardrobe that they might spare you from the Curse. In the hopes that you would come back and break it."

"They...they did that?" Emma's voice cracked slightly, and Regina hummed in acknowledgement.

"Emma...what I did was...evil. However, I cannot find it in my heart to regret doing it entirely."

The blonde looked up in alarm. "Are you fucking kidding? What could possibly make any of this okay?"

"If I had not cast the Curse, I never would have had Henry in my life."

Emma scowled deeply. "So my fucked up life? My pain, and this grotesque little fantasy town of yours is all made okay by Henry?"

Regina's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I would forsake the entire world for my son, Miss Swan! He was the _one thing_ in this miserable hell hole, in this mortifying tragedy that made me feel like maybe I could be worth something again!" she snarled. "When you threw him in the trash, I picked him up! I loved him with a ferocity I thought myself long-since incapable of! So don't you _dare_ make him less!"

"I did _not_ throw him in the trash! Giving him up was the most painful and difficult decision of my entire life! I _died_ that day! I felt like a worthless piece of shit after that! I felt like I had no choice but to give him up... I had nothing to my name except for a car. I couldn't have cared for a baby, but I'll be _damned_ if you think I just tossed him away. If you think it was easy."

"That's it! There it is! Now you know, Emma! That's what I felt! That's what my entire life was! That's why I cast the Curse!" Regina retorted.

Another heavy silence fell between them. Both were breathing heavily, bodies tensed, like lions ready to pounce. But as the moments wore on, it was clear that Regina was far less angry, and much more dejected.

Her shoulders had begun to sag, her brows softening to a somber expression, the downward tilt of her lips complementing the look. She closed her eyes slowly, breathing out a weighty sigh through her nose.

"Emma," she spoke softly, still keeping her lids shut. "I don't ever say this often, but when I do, it is with the utmost sincerity." Long lashes sailed upward. "I'm sorry." She walked over to the fire, finding it easier to look at the flames than the woman she loved.

Emma stayed in her spot, but she turned to look at the silhouette of the enigma that was Regina Mills. "You are...” the blonde whispered. It wasn't a question, just an acknowledgement that she had heard no lie in the older woman's words.

"You know," the blonde started. "The woman I met when I came to Storybrooke...I could have called her the Evil Queen. But you? Here. Now." Emma came to stand next to Regina's right, also looking into the fire. "You and I aren't heroes and villains. We're just...broken."

The blonde shot a sidelong glance at her companion, hoping to gauge a reaction, but Regina's hair had fallen forward, blocking her face. The Savior had a strange, unsettling urge to reach out and tuck the wayward strands back behind the woman's ear, and she swallowed nervously, turning her gaze back to the fire.

"Do you believe now?" Regina asked softly, still not looking up.

"I...I-It's / _impossible_." But Emma's words came out more as though she was trying to convince herself.

Regina scoffed, finally flicking her air back. "You're always so stubborn," she ground out irritably. "Emma, I didn't poison you!"

"I- Wait, what?"

"The turnover." Her jaw clenched tightly, and she didn't dare shift her gaze from the waning flames. "I cursed you."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I couldn't kill you. Killing you would break the Curse...not that I would have been able to do so anyway. But...I needed you out of the way. You were pulling Henry from me, weakening the Curse, and destroying everything I built.

"You came to say you were leaving, but I knew you'd come back. For Henry, you will always come back. There was only one way I could ensure you'd be out of the way without losing Henry or breaking the Curse.

"Do you remember in the tale of Snow White what was given to her by the old crone?" Regina asked carefully.

"A poisoned apple, right?"

"Indeed. In reality, it wasn't poison. It was a Sleeping Curse. Quite possibly the most powerful of its kind in our land. So powerful, it could make its victim mimic death. Through means by which would take far too long to explain, I pulled the apple from our realm to this one.

"That was the apple in the turnover I gave to you. And you ate it, just as I had planned. The Sleeping Curse worked beautifully upon you; though, it wasn't nearly as strong on you. You're the product of True love, and so its power lives in your very flesh.

"That power wasn't enough to break the curse I put upon you, but it prevented you from masquerading as a cadaver. Everyone assumed you to be in a coma, excluding myself and Henry."

"I call bullshit," Emma broke in. "I woke up. I wasn't under some powerful curse-thing."

"You went under after eating the turnover, yes?" Regina's tone was mild, but she continued to avoid eye contact.

Emma bit her lip. "Yeah, but-"

"Henry had every bachelor in town kiss you."

The blonde's face wrinkled at the memory of that unfortunate event. "Still haven't forgiven him for that," she grumbled.

"Because what breaks a curse like that, Miss Swan?"

"Uh...True Love's Kiss?" Regina nodded. "Yeah, but no one kissed me! I didn't magically wake up when Archie-" She suppressed a shudder. "-Tried to kiss me. Or any other person for that matter."

The brunette finally whipped around, fixing Emma with an intense, penetrating stare. "Are you truly so blind?" she exclaimed in exasperation. "Think, Emma! _Think!_ Remember when you woke! Remember what you saw!"

Emma thought back to the very moment her eyes opened. Warm, chocolate ones were staring back at her, a gentle smile playing about the lips of a face she knew a little too well. "I-I saw...you."

"There's a reason you can't hate me," Regina whispered, her face open and honest. "And there's a reason why I can't hate you." She began tugging at the fingers of her gloves, letting the left one fall away. "And there's a reason why this happens..."

She reached up, hesitating momentarily. Then, she slipped her fingers over the slightly-sunken cheek of the blonde, her skin frozen to the touch. Emma gasped, feeling heat once again blossom out from the older woman's fingertips. Without thought, her right hand shot up, cupping the one against her cheek, wanting to never lose that warmth.

"Why?" Emma breathed, suddenly aware of Regina's proximity, of the orange glow of the dying fire shining in beseeching eyes, of the pleasant heat of the flames, and the smell of jasmine once more.

"I can tell you," Regina murmured. Her other hand came up to rest along Emma's jaw, both of her thumbs lightly stroking the blonde's cheekbones. "When you were under my Sleeping Curse...I fell in love with you, Emma. But I was too scared to admit that. So I waited, in fear.

"But time wore on," she whispered, inches from the Savior. "Henry tried to find your True Love, but he looked in the wrong place; however, it didn't take him long to figure out what I was trying to deny.

"I visited you so often in the hospital, Emma, because I was trying to find the strength and courage I lacked. I wanted to kiss you...so many times." Her warm breath ghosted over the younger woman's neck, and the fresh, light scent of the jasmine was all the poor blonde could smell.

"I didn't. I didn't kiss you, because I was afraid it wouldn't break the Sleeping Curse. And I was simultaneously afraid that it would. Both meant coming to terms with two equally devastating realities."

"What changed?" Emma asked, an unknown desire for Regina to stay warring with her confusion and disbelief at the entire scenario.

"Someone from my past..." Regina's voice hitched. "I thought kissing you would be a dishonor to his memory...but I was wrong. When I finally saw that...I knew. It was time."

"If you broke the Sleeping Curse, then why do I still feel so... _wrong_? Why am I cold, and miserable?" the blonde asked, feeling one of Regina's hands fall away.

"It takes True Love's Kiss to break a curse of that strength. You have True Love's power in you, but what we had, the kiss I gave you, was not True Love's Kiss. It was very similar, but it couldn't be the real thing. What I felt for you...feel...it's very real. Frightfully so.

"However, at the time, you were not in love with me. True Love's Kiss...it requires mutual affection. So the strength of my kiss was enough to wake you from the curse, but it was not enough to lift it from you completely. Parts of it still linger in your flesh. The cold, the nightmares..." Regina used her free hand to pick up Emma's, her thumb brushing over fresh scars on the knuckles. "When I touch you...you feel it. You feel the curse ebbing away.

"Emma...this was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to love you," she said heavily, hurt flickering through her eyes. "You were never supposed to be my True Love. And that's the burden I have unwillingly placed upon you...the one no one should have to bear. To love me is to love Evil." She pulled her hands away, stepping back.

She looked sadly upon the blonde, wishing that Emma would stop looking at her that way. Wishing the younger woman wouldn't look so confused, and surprised, and... _heartbroken._ She turned around, her back facing the Savior.

"Regina, wait..." The brunette felt tentative fingers slide around the crook of her elbow. "W-Why'd you stop?"

"Stop what, Miss Swan?" The mayor's voice had become bitter, and she didn't turn around; she just talked over her shoulder.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she was better with words. "Listen, I don't have a damn clue what to believe anymore." She shivered, the cold quickly overtaking her body. " _Maybe_ this curse thing is real. _Maybe_ I could believe that. But...but you loving me? Where the hell did that come from?"

Regina laughed humorlessly. "I'm still trying to figure that out myself. It...happened. When you went under the Sleeping Curse, my life had become comically boring and empty. In reality...you had made my monotonous life something interesting again...and I hated that."

"And that led to love?" Emma asked skeptically.

Regina finally turned to face her companion, a sad smile gracing her lips. "No, dear. True Love doesn't happen the same way that regular love does. It happens regardless of our previous feelings, and timing doesn't matter to it. Even precious Snow White and her prince harbored a strong disdain for each other in the beginning."

"But...I don't love you," Emma said with a forlorn expression.

"Is that what your head is saying?"

"Yeah."

"Ignore it. I know you enough to know that you live by your instincts. You react to your gut feelings, your heart. What does it say?"

The blonde shivered. "I don't know. I can't concentrate. The...the only thing I can think about right now is being warm."

Regina slowly approached the Savior, her face completely unreadable. "I can help," she murmured.

"Will...will you make me feel warm again?" she asked, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Where would you like me to touch you?" Regina whispered, staring intensely up at the blonde.

Emma bit her lip, scarcely believing that any of this was happening to her. Without word, she reached out her hand that had been hanging limply at her side. The distance wasn't far to Regina's own fingers. Emma slid them underneath the other woman's, her thumb clasping over delicate knuckles. Regina's lips twitched upward, her eyes softening with affection. Emma smiled shyly in return, the warmth blanketing her once more.

"God, I don't want this to stop," the blonde whispered.

"Which part?" Regina queried.

"I...I'm not sure." Emma was still worrying her lip.

"Well, that's a start, dear." The brunette's voice was tender, the barest hint of hope coloring her words.

The Savior had no clue what was making her act this way, but she found that she wasn't complaining either. After all, everything else in her life was going up in flames. Why not add the weirdest love confession in the world?

But Regina was smiling softly. It was something she had rarely ever seen on the older woman's face before, and she had definitely never taken the time to appreciate it. The brunette's eyes crinkled gently at the corners, her deep brown irises looking warmer than she had ever seen them before.

The hard lines of her face relaxed, taking a decade away from her appearance, and, in a single moment, the hard, no-nonsense mayor was pushed away. The woman left in her stead was...surprisingly human. And how had Emma never noticed just how beautiful she was?

She swallowed nervously. Regina hadn't said a word. She stood in front of her, awfully close, just holding her hand. Perhaps she was waiting for Emma to say something? Her own ridiculous declaration of love? Or maybe she just knew that speaking would ruin this moment of peace. This one point in time when things didn't look so bad.

Without thought, the Savior leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Regina's. Both women stared at each other, and Emma laughed nervously, amused at the way they had to practically cross their eyes to focus on one another.

"What's happening, Regina?" she asked, inhaling the clean scent of jasmine once more.

The brunette lifted up her other hand, placing it over the younger woman's heart. A clear burst of heat bloomed in her chest, trickling all the way down to her fingertips and toes. The hairs on her arms and neck stood on end, and Emma sucked in a sharp breath.

"What does it tell you, Emma?" Regina whispered, licking her lips.

"It...th-this is crazy," the blonde insisted, but she made no move to pull away.

"And you think this is normal for me?"

"Isn't it? Isn't this what you fairy tale people do? Look for love and stuff?" Emma tilted her head to the other side, feeling her nose brush lightly against Regina's.

"For some." The brunette pulled her head away, but her hand stayed over the Savior's heart.

"But not you?"

"I am the Evil Queen. I do not seek love, and it most certainly does not try to find its way to me."

"Then what about us? And the part where I'm supposedly your True Love?" Emma pointed out.

"It's a cruel joke the Fates decided to play," Regina answered bitterly.

"So I'm a joke now?" the blonde said hotly.

"No! That's not what I meant. You're stubborn and ignorant, but not a joke. I think you've proven that. The vile joke is that our love is the key to breaking the Curse. The punch line..." She breathed a heavy sigh. "Is what happens when hundreds of people I sentenced to misery regain their identities."

"Wait...what are you saying?" Emma's brow furrowed, the fading firelight etching deep shadows across her face.

"I'm saying," Regina began slowly. "That the idea and practice of justice differs drastically between our worlds."

"You can't." The blonde stated with a hard edge to her words.

"Can't what, dear?" The brunette's signature defensiveness began to creep into her words.

"You can't go to them! You can't let them do...whatever it is they're gonna do!" She fought down a strange feeling settling in her stomach as a realization she had been repressing battled for priority in her mind.

"Why does it matter to you, Emma? Why is the idea of me leaving you to do what's right bothering you so severely?"

"Because it's not fair!"

"Why!"

Emma's hands flew upward, cupping Regina's cheeks, as she stooped slightly to reach her eyelevel. "Because I care about you!" she said fiercely. Once the words had left her mouth, her eyes widened, lips parted, barely daring to believe what she had just said.

"What?" the brunette breathed.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" Emma began, but Regina's hand came up to settle over the one on her cheek, effectively silencing her.

"Yes you did," the brunette said earnestly.

The two women searched each other's faces for several long moments, while Emma battled with the dawning realization that she did, indeed, mean every single one of the words she had spoken. That, despite every horrific thing that had transpired between them, she felt an undeniable sense of affection for the steely mayor. And she would always pull her out of the fire. All of it frightened her, but-

Soft lips surged upward, pressing firmly against her own. Jasmine invaded her senses, but what really came through was the _heat_. Regina's lips melted against hers, her body brushing up along the blonde's, fingers settling delicately around the back of her neck.

Emma breathed in the moment, feeling delicious warmth trickling through her body, her limbs, her fingers, her veins, bathing her heart. She felt the sense of dread that had been lording over her seep out of her flesh. Clarity settled over her mind, replacing the foggy haze that had been there since the coma.

In that moment, Emma felt right. In that moment, when Regina's lips pressed a little harder against her own, when an electric thrill shot down her spine, when she thought her life couldn't become any more chaotic, she felt strangely okay. She thought that maybe this was the right thing to do.

Emma parted her lips, taking Regina's bottom one between her own, finally returning the kiss earnestly. Her heart jumped, and her fingers tingled, then a numb-like sensation hummed throughout her body, concentrated in her heart, and exploded outward.

She felt something shift in the air around her, and she pulled away, staring into fearful brown eyes. Then her vision clouded over, and her head felt tight, like a balloon ready to pop. She shut her eyes and images began to flash around her mind.

Emma saw everything from a woman crying in a bed, belly swollen from birth, to a man defending a baby from knights dressed in black. She saw a wardrobe. She saw the baby inside. The blonde saw swirling clouds of thunderous, purple smoke, saw a woman laughing cruelly. Emma saw the truth.

Her eyes sprung open, and she was bent double, breathing heavily, head swimming. "What the hell just happened?!"

"What did you see?" Regina asked quietly.

Emma looked up, slowly straightening her body. "I...I think I saw my birth. My _parents_." The word felt foreign in her mouth. "And you. I saw you."

Fear flashed through the brunette's eyes. "Do you believe now? Do you believe that you are not of this world? That none of us are?"

"I think I do. Does this mean seeing all of that, that funny feeling in my body...did we break the Curse?"

"With True Love's Kiss." Emma opened her mouth to respond, but Regina held up her hand, halting the other woman's words. "I know what you're going to say, dear. You're going to look at me with those confused eyes and tell me that you don't love me. And that's fine.

"I've done what you could not do alone. It doesn't matter that you claim not to love me at the moment. That's not what's important right now. Just remember what your _heart_ knows, Emma."

"Then what _is_ important? Right now, anyway."

"As I have stated before: the numerous citizens who are, no doubt, seeking me at this very moment."

"And you're still gonna go to them?" Emma asked with disbelief.

"Yes," Regina said simply. "No. You cannot come with me. I would ask you not to follow; however, it is not in your nature to listen to me. You are...the Savior. You will do whatever you can to save me. So I ask one thing of you."

The blonde cocked her head. "What?"

"When you do find me..." Regina approached the younger woman. Her hand jerked upward, as if trying to reach out to Emma, but it stopped and fell stiffly to her side again. "Don't do anything too stupid."

The Queen turned, half-running out of the cabin. Emma chased her out onto the porch, words choked up in her throat. She watched as the woman she thought she knew race to her Benz, pulling away quickly. The sheriff's misted breath swirled serenely in the morning sunlight, as the dust kicked up from Regina's tires slowly settled back to earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you don't want to hear this, but there's one /final/ chapter left to conclude this story! 
> 
> Again, thanks to my Beta, Jasmine, who helped me make this chapter awesome! If you have any questions, you know where to leave them!


	47. To Go This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read, and ye shall know.

Regina knew it was far too risky to drive through town in her signature Benz, and she didn't fancy dying without dignity in a car. No, if she were to die, it would be facing her accusers. It would be upfront and direct. She would be standing up with what little honor she had left. She checked her rear-view mirror often. Nothing followed but dust and mist.

She had never given much thought to how she would die. In her glory days, she was so consumed with hatred, revenge, and power that she never once considered the possibility that she might, one day, cease to draw breath. Once the Curse had been enacted, time stopped moving altogether. She was, for all intents and purposes, immortal. So what need was there to contemplate death?

But now? Regina was very mortal, and very vulnerable. She had so many enemies and exactly zero allies. Battle strategy had been part of her schooling in her youth, and she was taught to identify a fight in which no victory could be found. She was taught to know when to back down, when the losses would be far greater than the gains. This was one such fight; only, there was no withdrawing. There was no opportunity to let them win this one, whilst she planned for the next. She was barreling headlong into a defeat.

She pulled her car to the side of the road on the outskirts of town. She would have to walk the rest of the way, but her first priority was to go to the mansion. She had to find Henry. She had to know he was safe. The rest would come later.

If she was lucky, she could slip through the undoubted chaos that was most certainly taking place. With confusion, reunions, and the general haphazardness of fairy tale common folk, Regina doubted that they would be paying much attention to her. Besides, it was her town. She had learned all of its secrets in her twenty-eight years of residency. She knew every path, every alley, so concealment would not be an issue.

Regina wrapped her scarf around her face, pulling up her hood. With luck, it would cover her enough to get her to the mansion. A bitter chill befitting her mood blanketed the town, and she dug her hands deep into her pockets, setting off at a brisk pace.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Emma watched the black Mercedes disappear into the trees, weak sunlight filtering through the dirt that was kicked up. She was gripping one of the porch's support posts with impressive strength, and the tips of her fingers were all white. The blonde shivered suddenly, with genuine and real cold.

"What are you doing, Swan?" she muttered to herself. "What just happened?" She swallowed thickly, her mouth completely dry. It rapidly came to her attention how simply awful she felt. Whatever curse thingy had been over her, it kept her blind to the deterioration of her body. Her stomach groaned with hunger while her throat thirsted for water. Exhaustion stole over her, and Emma felt her body sag with all-around weakness.

She turned and went back into the cabin, grabbing one of the few remaining bottles of vitamin water, chugging it without pausing for breath. The bottle clattered to the ground, and she partially staggered over to the mantle, staring at the smoldering embers.

Regina told her to stay. Regina, supposedly her True Love. She shook her head, almost wishing for the fuzzy haze that the sleeping curse thing had left. Now, all she had was clarity in her brain, and a glaring issue: the brunette seemed to think that she was going off to her death.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, groaning. "What have I gotten myself into?" Regina said stay, but that's all that she had been doing. She had been staying in the damned cabin, swimming in guilt, puke, magical insanity, and bad alcohol. She missed people, real food, and proper showers. More importantly, she missed Henry. Besides, Regina said she knew Emma would follow. Wasn't that her cryptic way of telling her to come after her?

Only, there was one more problem: Emma was still a wanted criminal. Then again, supposedly none of the people of Storybrooke were the ones she had come to know in the last year anymore. She swallowed nervously. What if they forgave her for her crimes simply due to their own hatred for Regina? Maybe they would even be happy she had attacked the brunette.

A sick feeling settled in her stomach. Nothing about that was right, and the very idea that it might actually apply made Emma's blood run cold. What if they really did hurt her? What if they actually meant to kill Regina?

 _"I'm saying, that the idea and practice of justice differs drastically between our worlds."_ Regina's words echoed in the blonde's mind. She read Henry's book. She knew of the brunette's crimes, of her betrayals. In fact, her own past was the result of one such wrongdoing. Was it evil? Absolutely. But, was it worthy of _murder?_

Emma shook her head again. "You're the sheriff, aren't you, Swan?" It was her job, after all. And she was more than the sheriff; she was supposed to be the Savior. If Regina was in peril, it was her duty to save her. Justice might be different in the other world, but all of these people were in _this_ world, and she was going to hold them to all the rules that applied.

Emma backed away from the fireplace, picking up her leather jacket, holstering her pistol to her belt, and pulling out her keys. _"Don't do anything too stupid."_ She snorted at Regina's request, remembering a movie she had seen late one night. She didn't remember much of it, but one quote had stuck firmly in her head: "Shepherd Book used to tell me, 'If you can't do somethin' smart... do somethin' right.'"

 

                                                            ~*~

 

Regina didn't see many people during her travel; though, she was avoiding the main center of the town and houses. From what she glimpsed, most people were wandering around in confusion, some heading off in a very purposeful way, others embracing each other in reunion. She felt a strange pang in her chest. There wasn't anyone for her greet from the old world. No one she loved the way these people loved each other. She shook the thought from her head. There were more important things to think of.

Other than the smattering of citizens she saw, her journey was quiet and uneventful. She thought she saw a few eyes glance her way, but none lingered. On her approach to Mifflin Street, a great noise grew louder as she drew closer. She heard men and women yelling and shouting. Clearly a mob, just as she had predicted.

Regina felt a stone settle in her stomach. They came to the mansion for her. She wasn't there, but Henry... Her pace quickened. The fierce, angry, and vengeful were unpredictable and apt to do anything to get what they wanted, but her son was _not_ a bargaining piece.

She briefly thought about approaching the mob head-on, but that would be foolish. She would leave herself too open to harm before getting to address the masses. Tactics mattered. She decided that she would sneak through to her yard, entering her house from the back. She'd be able to show herself without having to pass through a gauntlet of potentially-violent people. It wasn't perfect, but it was as good a plan as any.

Regina was never averse to doing things herself, and getting her hands dirty never seemed to bother her; however, the woman wasn't exactly used to climbing fences. It was ungraceful to say the least, but she got over the tall planks of wood nonetheless. The cacophony from the front was ungodly, and she wondered why they hadn't broken down her door yet.

There were really only two logical reasons. The first being that they were angry, but still scared of her. They would voice their displeasure, but Gods forbid they actually act on it. The only other reason would be that someone was keeping them at bay. But only just.

Her key slid into the lock on the back door, and she slipped in silently. She did a quick sweep of the first floor for Henry, but did not find him. All of her instincts said he was out front. She pulled down her hood and scarf, straightening her hair and schooling her expression. It was time for the people to meet their Queen once more.

 

                                                            ~*~

 

She reached for the doorknob, and she noticed her hand was trembling. This moment wasn't what she imagined, not that she put much thought into it. However, she always pictured herself more as the woman she was when she cast the Curse. But in the past twenty-four hours, Regina found she was just tired. Tired of the games. She was tired of grudges and hatred. Tired of the weights hanging around her neck, and she was tired of the way the Gods seemed to damn her at every corner. And so, her hand shook.

The cool brass of the knob steadied her fingers, the shouts and protests from outside growing too loud. She turned the handle, the familiar heft of the door swinging open with unwelcome ease. A quiet stole over the dozens of familiar faces staring at the brunette. She looked stoic and impassive, but lacking the usual cruelness the people were used to seeing there.

She stepped out over the threshold, no retreat waiting for her. She looked to her left, staring directly at Snow White, whose lips were parted in surprise. Her shepherd-prince was close by, glaring deeply at the woman he hated.

"Snow," Regina acknowledged frostily.

"Regina..." The young princess seemed at a loss for words.

"Henry. Where is he?" she furtively enquired.

"Safe," the younger brunette stated.

Regina's eyes narrowed. "What exactly qualifies as 'safe'?"

"Granny and Ruby are looking after him." Snow's eyes glanced at the crowd. "He needed to be away from this. It's not safe-"

"Death to the queen!" someone shouted from the crowd, and the silence was broken. People cheered for the man, and others echoed his sentiments. Many yelled out threats, called for justice, or an execution. Several members of the mob threw small stones, but Regina didn't flinch. She didn't snarl, or present her power and authority. She didn't even utter a single word.

But Snow did, as she always seemed to. She strode forward to stand at the top of the porch steps, holding up her hands, Charming hovering close by. "Stop! Stop this right now!"

"Why? There's justice that needs doing!" another voice shouted.

"Yeah! Kill the bitch!" someone else spat out. Regina continued to remain tacit.

"Not like this!" Snow demanded. "I can see the anger in your eyes. I can feel it in my heart. I know what burns there, in _all_ of you! But we aren't barbarians," she implored.

A face everyone knew emerged from the crowd, his mouth twisted in an unpleasant snarl. Dr Whale stalked up to the slight brunette, towering over her, but his eyes fixed murderously upon Regina's. "How could you ask for patience from us? Do you see what she's done to us? What she sentenced us to?"

The doctor turned around, facing the restless group and pointing at the Queen. "This woman! This woman here! She has betrayed us all! She doomed us to misery. She took away our very selves, lording over us in her vile victory. But no more. Now is our chance! Her curse is broken, and she has no allies!"

Charming stepped up to Whale, matching his demeanor. "You have no authority here," he growled. "You are going to back down. _Now._ "

Whale sneered turning to face the prince. "She _will_ die. She's the reason we're here in the first place," he bit out. "She should be punished."

Charming stood his ground, fingering the badge at his hip. "You're not the one who does the punishing, Doctor."

Whale smirked, looking as though he might stand down, but his desire for vengeance was too strong. He lunged forward, pushing the prince into his Snow White, the pair tumbling down in a clumsy tangle of limbs. The doctor made for Regina, his hands firmly gripping her shoulders as he pushed her against the house.

The brunette's breath caught in her throat, the man's fingers closing around her slender neck. Her mind locked up, and suddenly she was trapped in her office. Blazing emerald eyes stared unblinkingly at her, and pale hands wrapped around her throat. Regina let out a strangled cry when Whale's fingers squeezed.

Gasps, shouts, and cheers erupted from the mob at first; however, another strange silence stole over the crowd while the Charmings were nearly to their feet again. Whale noticed nothing until he felt a strong hand roughly bunching up the collar on the back of his shirt. The hand forcefully jerked backward, ringing the fabric harshly across his own neck. He stumbled backward, clutching his throat, coughing. He looked up at his assailant and saw Emma Swan staring menacingly at him. Regina was on the ground, massaging her neck.

The blonde was standing protectively before Regina, her fists balled, eyes focused sharply on the doctor. "Don't you touch her," she ground out in a tone so threatening, she saw fear flicker across his sweaty face.

"E-Emma?" the blonde heard. She looked to her left, seeing two familiar faces, looking more foreign than she remembered. Mary Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan were staring at her with roiling mixtures of emotions that made something in her stomach clench tightly.

She had the briefest urge to go to them. Her parents. The people she had been searching for her whole life. Only, there was still an asshole leading a mob that she had to deal with. She swallowed, returning her attention to her opponent.

"Ah, the Savior. Timely. Didn't want to let me finish what you started?" he said, a greasy grin sliding over his face. "Go on. Finish her. She's Evil."

"No," Emma said.

Whale rolled his eyes. "You people! Always so obsessed with doing things the right way! _She_ didn't! The bitch deserves to die!" He lunged again, thinking he could move faster than the Savior. Without thinking, she pulled out her pistol, slocking him across the face with the barrel.

His head whipped to the side with sickening speed, and a deep, jagged gash opened along his cheek. He dropped to the ground, clutching his face, blood pouring from between his fingers. More gasps rose from the crowd.

"Fucking traitor," Whale grunted out. "She's protecting the Evil Queen," he managed to bark at the throng. Unfortunately for Emma, he still had sympathizers among them.

"She's betrayed us!"

"She's been corrupted by the Queen's magic!"

Other murmurs of agreement broke out, the mob growing restless once more. Charming walked to the top of the steps again, facing down the people, but he was simply one man. They were many. He and Snow attempted to calm them down again.

Emma helped Regina up, the brunette's eyes a swirl of fear and relief. "I thought I told you not to do anything too stupid," the brunette croaked.

Emma's face wrinkled. "I have to get you out of here."

"No," Regina tried to protest. "I have to do this..."

The blonde shook her head. "Getting publicly murdered by that smarmy asshole isn't...whatever you thought you needed to do."

"Didn't seem to bother you when you came at me, dear."

Emma scowled darkly, but she glanced over her shoulder. David and Mary Margaret's efforts were not bearing any fruit. She clenched her jaw, making a snap decision. "I'm getting you out of here," she reiterated.

Regina glared back, and then her eyes darted over the mob. Hostile was an understatement, and Whale was close by on the ground, still spewing blood from his face. She had foolishly thought she would have been able to peacefully surrender. Who was she kidding? They wanted blood in a vicious, immediate way. She looked back at Emma and nodded her head once.

The blonde pulled out her pistol again, the tip still sticky with the doctor's blood. "Sorry, but I gotta be a little rough to make this work." She gripped Regina's upper arm in her free hand, holding up the revolver. She fired two shots into the air.

The effect was immediate. Screams were heard, some of the people already edging away, looking to flee. She kept the pistol raised, advancing on the crowd, pulling the Queen along with her. "She's coming with me, and none of you are laying a finger on her!" Emma shouted. "Anyone who wants to visit the good doctor for a bullet wound, feel free to make your move," she warned, moving through the crowd, the people parting around her.

"If you get us killed, Miss Swan, I will spend every moment of my afterlife making yours the most miserable one any mortal has ever known," the brunette hissed.

"Bitch at me when we're dead. C'mon, we're almost through." Emma gave her "hostage" another tug.

"And if they follow?" she discreetly retorted.

"I still have three bullets left."

"And roughly forty of them. Truly ingenious, dear."

The pair broke through the crowd, hurrying down the street. Emma half-jogged, appearing to be dragging the Queen against her will. Both glanced frequently over their shoulders. All eyes were on them, but none seemed to be chasing them down.

Emma grinned at that sight, leaning in to whisper to Regina, "Yep, it was ingenious. None of them are willing to die to chase you down. Not even one."

"Where are we going?" She looked back at the mob jeering at their backs.

"Back to the cabin," the sheriff deadpanned.

"What? Is that even safe?"

"It's all I've got. Unless you have a place?" She glanced at the other woman.

Regina bit her lip, thinking of her vault. It would be more comfortable, but they would be at a greater risk of discovery. The cabin was tucked away, most people not knowing of its existence. It made sense, but only temporarily. They would need a place for a long-term wait if it came to that. If anything, the little cabin would prove a decent hideout for planning their next move. She met the Savior's eyes and nodded once in affirmation.

"Good. C'mon, this way." Emma let go of Regina's arm and took her hand, her other one still holding the gun. She guided them down a side street, and then cut across some of the properties.

"Where are you taking me to, Miss Swan?" the brunette huffed, stumbling over someone's hideous garden gnome.

"I parked my car closer," Emma responded, not looking at her companion.

"If you think I'm getting in that deathtrap of yours, you've seriously-"

"Listen, Regina," the blonde said, pulling the older woman closer to her. She looked around cautiously to make sure no one was there. "We shouldn't be stopping right now." Her eyes blazed into Regina's, and her voice was a rough whisper. "I have no idea why I came 'round to save your ass, but I did. I parked closer, which means we'll get to safety sooner. I don't care what you think about my car, but you're gonna sit your royal ass in it whether you like it or not. Got it?"

Regina sucked on her teeth for a moment, but the Savior was right. Taking the time to walk to the outskirts of town to get to the Benz would put them in a position to potentially come across hostile townsfolk. "Fine," she said curtly, gesturing for the blonde to continue leading the way.

Emma safely led them to her Bug, and they climbed in silently. Regina, of course, _had_ to wrinkle her nose in distaste, but the sheriff could only roll her eyes in response. The engine gurgled to life, and she slammed it into gear, dropping the clutch. The car groaned for a moment, then shot forward. The brunette found herself clutching to anything she could reasonably hold onto.

Emma drove very aggressively, to the point where Regina was certain they would die in that appalling car. However, the sheriff was surprisingly agile behind the wheel, only slowing up when they exited the town proper. She pulled over across from the Benz when they came up on it. "Need anything from your car before we head out?"

"Yes." The brunette got out and walked briskly to her own vehicle, opening up the passenger-side door. When she emerged, she was holding two things: her purse, and Stuffles. She wordlessly slid back into the seat next to the blonde.

Regina winced at every pothole they hit, and she was certain that the nasty _clunking_ sounds had to be parts falling off of the vehicle. The only benefit to Emma's driving was that the cabin came into view much sooner, but she wasn't sure if she should feel relieved or defeated. She settled on both.

The heel of Emma's boots scraped against the gravel when she walked up to the cabin, the brunette trailing behind her. Her footfalls seemed heavier, and she felt a tightness settling in her chest. She paused, her foot on the top step of the porch, when she didn't hear Regina behind her. She turned around to see the brunette, all stiff, hard lines, and dark clothes, back to the cabin, staring out across the partially frozen lake.

"You okay?" Emma ventured softly.

The brunette sighed, her head tilting downward. She turned to face the blonde, looking up at her with sadness in her eyes. "It just wasn't supposed to go this way."

Emma shrugged a little. "Does it ever?"

"You and I would know, wouldn't we?" She stepped forward, stopping at the bottom of the porch steps.

"I guess, huh? So...what happens now?"

"We plan. For anything. Any eventuality. We must be prepared."

"Okay. That's a good plan and all, but we've had one shitstorm of a day. I don't think either of us can do much now anyway, so we should rest up a bit. Regain some of our strength."

"Exactly how long do you think we're going to be here for, Emma?"

The blonde shrugged again. "We'll find out, won't we? So... Are you gonna stay the night?"

Regina stepped up to Emma's level, looking into her olive eyes. They were shy and uncertain, hoping that the brunette had more answers. One of those nervous, crooked smiles crossed her pale lips, and she fidgeted - as she always seemed to - waiting for a response.

            The Queen leaned in, giving the Savior a petal-soft kiss. "Yes," she whispered against the blonde's lips. She moved away, leaving a breathless sheriff in her wake. Regina entered the cabin, leaving the door ajar behind her, waiting, finally knowing that the one she wanted was going to follow. The sound of leather boots crossing the threshold reached her ears, and she turned, hoping against all hope that it was supposed to go this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that's the end of this story. I know that I left it open-ended, and I did that on purpose. For those of you who have not heard, there /will/ be a sequel. I do not know when I'm going to start it, but it will happen. 
> 
> When I set out to write this fic, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought it would be something cute, fluffy, and maybe 12 chapters total. What I got was...something completely different. I found myself refining my craft, exploring the depths of my characters, and finding confidence in myself, thanks to all of you. I never imagined I would receive this much support and attention. Did you know that I'm being read in 80+ countries across the world? I couldn't be more proud of myself. I have a lot of difficulties finishing a project after I've started it, and there were a few times when I was tempted to walk away from this. I didn't, because I got so much encouragement from all of my readers. Telling me how much you love my writing, and how you're dying for the next update. 
> 
> Thank you. All of you. Thank you to those who left reviews urging me to continue, and thank you to those who told me what you thought needed work. Thank you to my beautiful beta, Jasmine. I love you so much, and you've helped me become a better writer as well. 
> 
> In conclusion, I'm not done with this. There will be times when I will come back and re-write sections. It's far from perfect, but I can say that I came to an end. I had such a hard time finishing this chapter. I was afraid to come to the end of it, but simultaneously thrilled to get there. It's been surprisingly emotional for me, and I wasn't sure I /could/ write the finale. Is it perfect? Hell no. But I can fix things later. I want to hear your thoughts, spark discussions about the sequel, ask me about my writing process...anything. Please, I urge you to contact me. Feel free to message me on Tumblr at Writers-Dilemma. tumblr. com


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